by Meredith (USA) | Feb 28, 2014 | 2014, Communication, Family, Kids, Life Lesson, Motherhood, Parenting, World Motherhood, Younger Children
It happens every night when I lay my head on the pillow. I replay many of the day’s events back over in my mind. “Was I good friend, wife, sister, daughter, etc.? Was I good mother to my children? Did I set a good example?”
However, the events which have been playing over in my mind more and more frequently are the times I am not sure if I really listened to my children. “What was it my daughter was telling me about a friend of hers at school as I was hurriedly sending a text to my friend? What was my son showing me that he learned on his new video game as I nodded and pretended to see him play it while I sent an email?”
I know we all get caught up in this thing called life, but are we really present for our children?
At any one minute during the day, I feel like I have a laundry list of things to get done. A lot of times, I find myself sitting listening to my daughter read, and I am making a mental list in my mind of what I need to get from the grocery store. When I’m driving the kids to school, and they are in the backseat laughing, I am thinking of the things I need to get done that day while they are in school. What were they laughing about? I don’t know because I wasn’t really listening. And, that makes me a little sad.
I know one day, I’ll look in my rear-view mirror and they will be in junior high and then high school and they won’t be my little children anymore.
I have read so many articles and talked to so many friends about our kids being able to pay attention to what we, as parents, say. We have talked and discussed how too much time on electronics isn’t good for their attention. What about us as parents? It became crystal clear to me a few weeks ago when I took my children to the park. My son was on the swing, and I received a text from a friend. I was replying to her text while my son was saying something to me and I remember nodding and saying “Okay.” It turns out that he asked me if I would pay him a quarter for every time he jumped off the swing. You can imagine how surprised I was when he told me I had to pay him $4.50 for jumping 18 times!!!
These past few weeks, I have been thinking about how I have approached mothering, and I think I had something wrong. For some of you this may not be earth shattering, but for me it was ground breaking. And here it is…I will never be done with a grocery list, laundry list, cleaning, cooking, etc. There will always be broken things which need fixing and plants needing to be watered.
I was approaching things in my mind as things to check off like a list. I was thinking of my days as a destination, and that just isn’t how life is. In my head I thought if I get that grocery list done, then it is complete. If I finish this load of laundry, then it is done. But, the truth is, neither of those tasks are ever done, and unfortunately, I feel that I have wasted some of my precious time with my children using that approach.
I have started to look at my life as a journey and to try to enjoy it more along the way.
Coming to this realization has freed me to sit with my daughter and just listen to her read for 20 minutes without my phone right next to me. I don’t have to answer texts right away. I am able to watch my son play his new video game and show me his new trick because the laundry will always pile up, and I can get to it after I take 10 minutes to listen to him. I am waking up 10 minutes earlier to get lunches packed so I can talk to my kids in the morning while they are eating breakfast. I am taking a little of the pressure off myself to get everything done. I am getting most things done, and the things I don’t get to can wait until tomorrow if it means I can have some extra special moments with my kids.
I have found that slowing down my mind and my “to-do” list have made me a bit more calm, and in turn, it has helped me to be in the moment with my kids. Every night, we have dinner together and there is a “no toy and no electronics rule” at the table. It’s a time for our family to really listen to each other and make sure that we have a few minutes to “check in” all together as a family.
The one thing that won’t always be there are my 5 and 8 year olds. They are only like that for one year and then they just keep growing and growing and there isn’t anything I can do about it. As I look at them in my rear-view mirror, I want to know that I have really enjoyed them and not regret not spending precious time with them.
Do you have a way to really be “in the moment” with your children?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Meredith. You can check out Meredith’s life in Nigeria and her transition back on her blog at www.wefoundhappiness.blogspot.com.
Photo credit to the author.
Meredith finds it difficult to tell anyone where she is from exactly! She grew up in several states, but mainly Illinois. She has a Bachelor of Science degree in Elementary Education from the University of Illinois at Champaign/Urbana which is also where she met her husband. She taught kindergarten for seven years before she adopted her son from Guatemala and then gave birth to her daughter two years leter. She moved to Lagos, Nigeria with her husband and two children in July 2009 for her husband's work. She and her family moved back to the U.S.this summer(August 2012) and are adjusting to life back in the U.S. You can read more about her life in Lagos and her adjustment to being back on her blog: We Found Happiness.
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by Galit Breen (USA) | Sep 29, 2011 | Education, Family, Parenting
This year I sent two children off to school, but I’m keeping one at home.
Even though Brody just turned three, I’m waiting another year before I enroll him in preschool and two more years after that before Kindergarten- which he will start having just turned six.
Yes, six.
And yes, I’m sure.
In our school district there’s a movement to change the rules, and our views, on the Kindergarten entrance age, and I’m against it. Here’s why. (more…)
Once upon a time Galit Breen was a TRAVELER. She met amazing people and ate delicious food. And all was well with the world. And then, she started her real life. She became a STUDENT earning a BS in Human Development and an MA in Education. She became a classroom and reading TEACHER. She met a man on the internet (when it was gasp-worthy and new) and became his WIFE. She became a MINNESOTAN shortly after that, and he still owes her one for that. But the biggest earthquake shake to her soul was becoming a MOM. The interrupted sleep. The crying. The diapers. The lack of sleep. Did she mention the lack of sleep? But there was also the attachment, the touch, the bungee cords to her heart. Sigh. So today her labels are woven together. Tightly. A wife of one! A Mama of three! And a brand new puggle owner! Of one, people. Just one new puppy, thankyouverymuch. To keep her grounded and to add to the lack of lack of sleep factor, she writes. She writes about Motherhood. Parenting. Spirituality. Feminism. Education. Books. Writing. Balance. And Chocolate. Her writing is sometimes sarcastic, sometimes heart-warming and always transparent. Galit is a columnist at TC Jewfolk and has been published in places such as Jewesses With Attitude, Kveller and Scary Mommy. She is honored to connect with you here, at World Mom’s Blog. Galit can be reached by E-mail galitbreen@gmail.com or Twitter @galitbreen. And don’t forget to check out her personal blog, These Little Waves!
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by Tara Bergman (USA) | Sep 13, 2011 | Entertainment, Motherhood, Tara B., Toys
I just took my son to the movies for the first time. He is 5 ½, and I hadn’t taken him to the theater yet because he is very sensitive to visual media. Well, he is sensitive in general. He just seems to hear, see, smell and feel things more intensely than other kids. I wanted to take him to the movies when he seemed eager, when we could really talk about what the theater would feel like, and when we had the right movie to see.
My son watches really tame stuff at home, and most “kid” movies these days are pretty intense. You combine this with his natural skittishness about all things action-play-fighting-related (see my post titled “Boys Will Be Boys?”), and it just didn’t make sense to push the big movie theater experience too soon. (more…)
Tara is a native Pennsylvanian who moved to the Seattle area in 1998 (sight unseen) with her husband to start their grand life adventure together. Despite the difficult fact that their family is a plane ride away, the couple fell in love with the Pacific Northwest and have put down roots. They have 2 super charged little boys and recently moved out of the Seattle suburbs further east into the country, trading in a Starbucks on every corner for coyotes in the backyard. Tara loves the outdoors (hiking, biking, camping). And, when her family isn't out in nature, they are hunkered down at home with friends, sharing a meal, playing games, and generally having fun. She loves being a stay-at-home mom and sharing her experiences on World Moms Network!
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by Courtney Cappallo (USA) | Dec 20, 2010 | Education, Motherhood, Parenting
I am an artist. I’ve discovered my inner passion for art at the ripe age of 35. I’m no Mary Cassatt or Frida Kahlo but I am definitely a right-brained individual. Hey, Grandma Moses didn’t discover her inner talent of being an artist until the tender age of 76! I discovered my love of art through teaching my children about it. My motto is to have my daughters create art every day.
I home-school my two daughters, they are ages five and two-years-old. I am currently in my second year of home-schooling. Last year I home-schooled my oldest daughter for preschool. During the preschool year I created art lessons on various artists such as: Jackson Pollock, Edgar Degas, Vincent van Gogh, Jacob Lawrence, Pablo Picasso, Michelangelo, Henri Matisse, Andy Warhol and Georgia O’Keeffe. I found while researching these artists and creating activities to tie into the lessons for my daughter, I became inspired. (more…)
Courtney Cappallo is a mom of two girls, ages 7 and 4-years-old. She is living her dream life by residing on Cape Cod and being able to stay at home with her two little beauties. Courtney is currently homeschooling both of her daughters for 2nd grade and preschool, respectively.
Courtney uses a mix of Classical Education and Montessori. She is a strong believer in teaching to the five senses. Courtney’s homeschooling efforts are unique, as she uses the latest technology of the Smartboard. She is also taking on the task of learning Spanish as a second language, as well as, teaching her two children and husband Spanish.
Prior to becoming a homeschooling teacher, Courtney was the Director of Marketing for Simon Property Group, which is the largest U.S. real estate company. Courtney was Simon’s Director of Marketing for the Burlington Mall, Arsenal Mall and Cape Cod Mall. Courtney is a graduate of Villanova University and is proud of her small town roots from growing up in Oxford, Pennsylvania, which only has two traffic lights! She can be found making homeschooling lessons and more at Table of Four !
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