by Mirjam | Mar 6, 2017 | 2017, Child Care, Motherhood, Netherlands, Parenting, Special Needs, Uncategorized
I worry about you.
I worry about not being the best mother for you.
About not giving you what you need.
I don’t have a manual.
All I have are my instincts, my feelings and my love for you.
No one tells me that I am doing a good job.
But there are plenty of hints and questionable looks suggesting that I am not.
So I worry.
My mind floods with fear that you might need more.
Something, someone to help you flourish.
And I worry that my love for you is not enough.
I carry this load and observe you daily, in silence.
I sigh of relief when I see you smiling and enjoying yourself.
My heart cringes when I see you struggling.
I’m afraid to share my thoughts, my worries.
To speak out about my growing sense of trouble.
About the signs that I see.
Am I seeing signs?
Or am I overthinking?
I struggle with acceptance.
Not because I can’t accept you for who you are.
Others can’t.
Their silent question marks,
weigh on me like judgement.
And I have a hard time shaking that off.
I battle with misconceptions and harsh opinions of strangers.
But when I look at you,
I can tell every little aspect of you that makes you so precious.
I see your infinite worth.
You are like that one flower in the flower bed.
The flower that keeps drawing my eye
Uniquely shaped yet oddly colored.
The flower that I admire the most.
This piece is a combination of my own struggles and the struggles of the mothers that I face around me.
Mothers who have a child that is struggling or going through a rough time;
Mothers who have a child that is developing differently;
Mothers who have a child that has special needs.
I would like to ask you to withhold your judgment or quick advice.
Just see her, and respect her process.
After all she is just like you.
She loves and wants the best for her child.
Do you ever worry about your child’s development?
How do you cope? What are strategies that help you?
This is an original post written by Mirjam for World Moms Network
Mirjam was born in warm, sunny Surinam, but raised in the cold, rainy Netherlands.
She´s the mom of three rambunctious beauties and has been married for over two decades to the love of her life.
Every day she´s challenged by combining the best and worst of two cultures at home.
She used to be an elementary school teacher but is now a stay at home Mom. In her free time she loves to pick up her photo camera.
Mirjam has had a life long battle with depression and is not afraid to talk about it.
She enjoys being a blogger, an amateur photographer, and loves being creative in many ways.
But most of all she loves live and laughter, even though sometimes she is the joke herself.
You can find Mirjam (sporadically) at her blog Apples and Roses where she blogs about her battle with depression and finding beauty in the simplest of things. You can also find Mirjam on Twitter and Instagram.
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by Carol (Canada) | Oct 24, 2012 | Babies, Canada, Child Care, Health, Parenting
Of all of my parenting decisions, my choice to use cloth diapers raises the most eyebrows.
People tend to treat it like an admirable but inconvenient decision that they would never seriously consider themselves, like converting your car to run on vegetable oil or biking everywhere instead of driving.
They see it as difficult, and a little weird.
This bothers me, because I think my choice is more convenient, not less.
I use a diaper service, Happy Nappy, and since they bring my diapers to my door and take them away from me on a weekly basis, you could argue that my choice is actually lazier than using disposables, since I never have to go shopping for diapers. I don’t deal with any more poop than a parent who uses disposables. In fact, since I find that disposables have a deplorable tendency to leak poop down my baby’s leg, I actually deal with more poop when he’s in disposables.
Their cost is comparable to disposables – around $25 a week – and service becomes free after you’ve been with them for 30 months, because kids usually potty train earlier in cloth diapers. So either my kid will be potty trained by 30 months, or I get free diapers. That makes it a cheaper choice, even with the convenience of a diaper service.
So here I am, making a cheaper and more convenient choice, but people respond as though I was hand-knitting my entire family’s wardrobe or something. (more…)
Carol from If By Yes has lived in four different Canadian provinces as well as the Caribbean. Now she lives in Vancouver, working a full time job at a vet clinic, training dogs on the side, and raising her son and daughter to be good citizens of the world.
Carol is known for wearing inside-out underwear, microwaving yoghurt, killing house plants, over-thinking the mundane, and pointing out grammatical errors in "Twilight". When not trying to wrestle her son down for a nap, Carol loves to read and write.
Carol can also be found on her blog, If By Yes, and on Twitter @IfByYesTweets
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by Carol (Canada) | Oct 8, 2012 | Canada, Child Care, Religion, Younger Children
“Canada severs ties with Iran…
…Iranian diplomats are no longer welcome in Canada…
…Will this lead to war? Prime Minister Harper is quoted as saying…”
I’m listening to the radio as I drive from work to my son’s daycare, and it’s full of the news about Canada and Iran. Canada has withdrawn their diplomats, kicked out the Iranian diplomats, and we’re basically on the brink of war with this Middle Eastern nation. And as I drive, I think about the warm, gentle, loving people who care for my son each day.
All of them are from Iran.
There are a lot of Iranian expats in Vancouver, and I wonder what they think of this news. Are they worried for their family back in Iran? No doubt. Are they upset with Canada for causing such problems? Are they fretting about how hard this will make it for them to go home? Or are they supportive of Canada’s decision?
It must be hard to live in a country that is on the brink of war with your own.
But then, many Iranians are living in Canada for a reason. The Islamist government, political turmoil…? Most of what I know about Iran I know from reading Persepolis, so I’m sure my perceptions are out of date. I know that they don’t call themselves Iranians – they call themselves Persians, so that’s what we call them, too.
Which makes it easy to forget that they are even from Iran. (more…)
Carol from If By Yes has lived in four different Canadian provinces as well as the Caribbean. Now she lives in Vancouver, working a full time job at a vet clinic, training dogs on the side, and raising her son and daughter to be good citizens of the world.
Carol is known for wearing inside-out underwear, microwaving yoghurt, killing house plants, over-thinking the mundane, and pointing out grammatical errors in "Twilight". When not trying to wrestle her son down for a nap, Carol loves to read and write.
Carol can also be found on her blog, If By Yes, and on Twitter @IfByYesTweets
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by Multitaskingmumma (Canada) | Apr 3, 2012 | Canada, Child Care, Parenting
The minute my daughter was born, I knew that I would do anything to keep her safe. That I would pay any amount of money to ensure her needs were met, to keep her healthy, and make certain she grew up in a safe environment.
Even if I didn’t have the funds available.
When we found out that she had a peanut allergy, that feeling tripled.
We were lucky to have already had her placed in a daycare that was peanut free and aware of the dangers of introducing nuts into the environment. They took care to ensure there was a safety plan in place should she ever be exposed or require her EpiPen, and had an emergency contact form filled out and posted. (more…)
by Shaula Bellour (Indonesia) | Feb 15, 2012 | Child Care, Domesticity, Family, Indonesia, International, Motherhood, Shaula Bellour, Twins, USA, World Motherhood
One feature of living in this part of the world is the availability of affordable household help. In many ways it’s a wonderful thing, but it also takes some getting used to.
When we lived in the U.S., I was a typical multi-tasking mom – juggling work, two babies, one dog, a frequently traveling husband, and a 100-year-old house. I had a part-time childcare arrangement to cover my working hours, but given the steep hourly rate, in my mind even a quick errand had a “cost”. I would occasionally splurge on a house cleaner as a gift to myself – usually before family visited (and always a “deep clean” because it was so rare).
During those busy days, I would often daydream about how nice it would be if we didn’t have to spend our precious downtime scrubbing, sweeping, and mowing. How lovely it would be to have more time and energy for other things. How much easier life would be. (more…)
Shaula Bellour grew up in Redmond, Washington. She now lives in Jakarta, Indonesia with her British husband and 9-year old boy/girl twins. She has degrees in International Relations and Gender and Development and works as a consultant for the UN and non-governmental organizations.
Shaula has lived and worked in the US, France, England, Kenya, Eritrea, Kosovo, Lebanon and Timor-Leste. She began writing for World Moms Network in 2010. She plans to eventually find her way back to the Pacific Northwest one day, but until then she’s enjoying living in the big wide world with her family.
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