by Marie Kléber | Oct 19, 2015 | Divorce, Family, France, Kids, Relationships
When you first separate, you are a big mess but you are full of hope that you’ll just manage everything well, mostly with the father of your children.
You have thought about this many times, when you have heard about friends or acquaintances getting a divorce and fighting like mad people over this or that, without a thought for their poor children, who are completely lost between Mum and Dad, not knowing where to go, what to believe, or how to feel about all of this.
You are good at reassuring yourself. You won’t go that way and you’ll do everything in your power to protect your kids in this painful situation. You are very good at telling yourself that what happened between you and your ex-husband has nothing to do with the father he is and the relationship he has or will have with his children. You think that it’ll be easy to make the distinction between the man and the dad. Until it’s not.
After our separation and all the tears I shed, all the pain I had to overcome, I was ready to let my boy’s father have a chance to know him and develop a harmonious relationship with him. It was tough at first, tough to put aside my feelings, every memory of what we went through as a couple. But I did it considering my child’s best interests.
And I opened a door, to give us all a chance to build a brighter future for our boy, knowing that this would be quite difficult for all of us, that we’d need to give it time and that we’d have to celebrate successes without taking failures too seriously.
After a while, after many ups and downs on the road, I realised that sometimes you can’t make it easier for your little ones. Sometime there is a deeper problem.
I still try my best not to say anything bad about my boy’s father in front of him. I try my best to keep my anger away from him. But I find it difficult to make the distinction between Dad and ex-husband – maybe because he is not much of a dad, because he does not make any effort to make things go smoothly. I still find it hard to talk to my boy about his dad with joy and happiness. And when I hear my precious one saying with his innocent voice, “I miss you, Dad”, it breaks my heart.
How do you manage shared time with the father of your kid? Did you stay in good terms? Do you find it hard to let father and kids have the space they deserve?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Marie Kleber of France. Photo credit to the author.
Marie is from France and is living near Paris, after spending 6 years in Irlande. She is a single mum of one, sharing her time between work, family life and writing, her passion. She already wrote 6 books in her native langage.
She loves reading, photography, meeting friends and sharing life experiences. She blogs about domestic abuse, parenting and poetry @https://mahshiandmarshmallow.wordpress.com
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by Angela Y (USA) | Aug 16, 2013 | Being Thankful, Communication, Domesticity, Family, Grandparent, Home, Humor, Husband, Kids, Life Lesson, Motherhood, Parenting, World Motherhood, Younger Children
My dad is famous for his quotes. Some of them are wise words that we all repeated as children, like “When the sun comes up, it’s time to get up. When the sun goes down, it’s time to lie down.”
Some are spin-offs of known quotes; for example, “The early bird gets the pizza.” (Instead of “The early bird gets the worm.”) In this case he is referring to the leftover pizza in the fridge; it does make a great breakfast the next day, especially with a fried egg on top!
But the saying that my dad is most famous for, that is, amongst our family and friends, is what we have dubbed, “The Rule of Doing.”
The “Rule of Doing” is simple: “The one doing the doing, gets to do it his or her own way.” Simple? Very. Highly logical? Yes. Easy to break. All the time! (more…)
Angela Y. is in her mid-thirties and attempting to raise her two daughters (big girl, R, 3 years; little girl, M, 1 year) with her husband in San Francisco, CA. After spending ten years climbing the corporate ladder, she traded it all in to be a stay-at-home mom! Her perspective of raising a child in the city is definitely different from those who have been city dwellers all their lives, as she grew up in rural Northeastern Pennsylvania (NEPA) surrounded by her extended family.
Angela Y. and her husband are on their own on the west coast of the United States — the only family help they receive is when someone comes for a visit. But, the lifestyle in San Francisco is like no other for them, so there, they stay! This exercise conscious mom is easily recognized, especially when she is riding around her husband-built bike with two seats on the back. And, when she’s not hanging out with the girls, you can find Angela Y. in the kitchen. She loves to cook for her family, especially dessert, and then eats some herself when no one is looking! Sneaky, mom!
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by World Moms Blog | Jul 20, 2013 | Guest Post, Parenting, World Interviews, World Tour
Welcome to “World Tour” where we feature a guest post from around the world, here, at World Moms Blog. Today, we’re in the USA and talking gender roles with father, Scott, from the blog, Three Five Zero.
There was a time in America when the color of your skin determined which schools you could go to, where you sat on a city bus and what careers you could choose, among many other things. That time long ago passed.
There was a time in America when your gender determined whether or not you could vote, among other things. That time long ago passed.
There is still a large part of our population that believes that only certain genders of parents can do certain things, and that some genders can’t do some things at all. Only Dads can be little league coaches. Only Moms can go bra and panty shopping. Dads can’t soothe babies. Moms can’t do their own home improvements. I really want this time to pass.
I happen to be a single dad, and because I am a single dad, I learned to do things I never imagined I would need to do. Bras and panties, for example. I’m an expert, and I don’t really care who dislikes my presence in those departments in the clothing stores. My kid needs them.
I used to be very self conscious in those situations. Not anymore… I go get what I need, and I don’t even pay attention to who else is there, or whether or not they notice me. Just like picking up a gallon of milk.
I know lots of single moms, too. Want to meet guys? Go to your favorite home improvement store. Men are likely to offer you help whether you need it or not. I’m happy to help anyone who asks for help. I won’t offer help based on any assumptions about what tasks your gender makes you capable, or incapable, of. I’ll assume you know what milk you’re buying, too, whether you’re male or female. If you don’t ask for my help, I’ll assume you’re able to paint your kid’s bedroom all by yourself.
This list of examples could go on and on and on. In fact, I hope you’ll leave comments regarding your (least?) favorite story about something another parent assumed you couldn’t do just because you were Mom or Dad. I’ll chuckle along with you, and if the story is topped with enough sexism, I’ll get just as annoyed as you were when it happened.
When my kids are grown, I hope that all of these archaic stereotypes have long passed. I hope that they raise kids in a family unit of some sort, but if either of them ends up raising kids on their own, Grandpa Scott will be there to hack away at those gender biases and stereotypes, along with any that might still exist about what grandparents can or can’t do!
Family comes in all shapes and sizes. Do kids need both male and female influences? I absolutely believe they do. If you’re a good parent, you’ll make good choices about who those influences will be, and it will all work out just fine in the end. It doesn’t matter whether you’re Dad or Mom. Good parents do whatever their kids need them to. Period.
Help me out? The next time you see a single mom or a single dad, look at them differently. Think about any assumptions you had about him or her the moment you saw them. Then erase those assumptions from your thought process forever. Look at him or her as a parent, and only a parent, and assume he or she is a very good one unless you know otherwise.
Do you have a favorite story about something another parent assumed you couldn’t do just because you were Mom or Dad?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog. Scott is a single dad. He didn’t plan it that way, but he did rise to the occasion. You can find Scott blogging at www.ThreeFiveZero.com
Photo credit to the author.
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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by Eva Fannon (USA) | Aug 30, 2011 | Bilingual, Child Care, Childhood, Eva Fannon, Family, Family Travel, Husband, Kids, Motherhood, Music, Parenting, Transportation
I am sitting at a gate in Terminal C at Newark Liberty International Airport (EWR) waiting for my flight back to Seattle. You may be wondering…”How does she have time to sit and write with two girls while she is at the airport?”
If my girls were with me, I definitely would NOT be writing.
I would be mulling this post over in my head while I watched them burn off steam running over and under seats before getting on the six hour flight back home. The beauty of this story is that I got the weekend off from mommy duty to travel east 3,000 miles to go to a wedding in New York City! I know, I mean, I really do know – LUCKY ME!! (more…)
Eva Fannon is a working mom who lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her hubby and two girls. She was born and raised on the east coast and followed her husband out west when he got a job offer that he couldn't refuse. Eva has always been a planner, so it took her a while to accept that no matter how much you plan and prepare, being a mom means a new and different state of "normal".
Despite the craziness on most weekday mornings (getting a family of four out the door in time for work and school is no easy task!), she wouldn't trade being a mother for anything in the world. She and her husband are working on introducing the girls to the things they love - travel, the great outdoors, and enjoying time with family and friends. Eva can be found on Twitter @evafannon.
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by World Moms Blog | Jun 17, 2011 | Being Thankful, Family, Family Travel, Friday Question, India, Kids, Oceania, Parenting, Salma, Tara B., Third Eye Mom, Travel, Wedding
Not all, but a great number of countries celebrate Father’s Day on the third Sunday in June. In honor of Father’s Day, we asked our World Moms…
“What is your favorite memory of your father?”
Read on to see what they said…
Amy Hillis of Ohio, USA writes:
“My dad used to restore old gumball machines and he would let me sit at his work bench and help. He would give me little jobs and let me use his tools and paints to make my own ‘creations’.
I realize now that he helped encourage my creativity and provided an escape for me when things with my mother were rough.
My dad is still around, but lives 400 miles away- I still miss doing ‘projects’ with him.”
(more…)
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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When you first separate, you are a big mess but you are full of hope that you’ll just manage everything well, mostly with the father of your children.
