*Just a warning to those who find it hard to talk about death, this post uses the D word quite a bit. But the point it makes is really good food for thought.
I’m a planner.
Actually if I am truly honest, I am more of a slowly recovering control freak. I am the kind of person who even thinks about trying to control their own funeral. Yes, I know that is slightly twisted, but I guess my ability to laugh at the funny parts of death (and yes, you can find humor in death) is what has kept me sane after years of ER and oncology nursing.
So it should come as no surprise that for years I have been thinking about writing “goodbye letters.” You know, the ones I am talking about. The ones that get opened if you walk out of your house one day to go to work and end up never coming back.
Those personalized heartfelt letters written to your loved ones telling them what you loved about them, what they meant to you and what you wish for them for the future now that you’re not there in person anymore to tell them.
Yet something has been holding me back. (more…)
My husband snuggles with our four-year old daughter and asks, “If I get sick, will you take care of me?” She smiles, hugs him around the neck, and says, “Yes, I will take care of you daddy.” I chime in and ask, “If I get sick, will you take care of me?” She smiles and says, “Well, I already have to take care of daddy. Maybe my sister can take care of you.”
I laugh out loud – partly because I’m hurt…she’s such a daddy’s girl…but also because at such a young age, she already seems to understand the responsibility involved in taking care of someone.
This past Monday I hugged and squeezed my parents tightly as I said good-bye to them at the airport after we all spent a wonderful long weekend together in Northern California. I hadn’t seen them since November. As we pulled away, my four-year old asks, “Momma, are you sad?” I answer, “A little bit.” She says, “Why, because you will miss your mommy and daddy?” I say, “Yes.”
I have a close-knit family and a great relationship with my parents – Mami and Papi. We can talk to each other about anything. I talk to Mami everyday and never hesitate to ask her for her advice or opinion on an issue at hand. It was hard for me to relocate to the Northwest U.S. from the east coast because I was putting almost 3,000 miles between us…and it’s gotten even harder after I’ve had my own children. (more…)