Lockdown Reflections: Musings From a COVID-19 Warrior’s Wife (Part1)

Lockdown Reflections: Musings From a COVID-19 Warrior’s Wife (Part1)

Jennifer Burden, the founder of World Moms Network, asked me to share my family’s COVID-19 story from India. I have been reluctant because our hearts go out to so many I know, who have lost family and friends near and dear to them in India and across the world, from COVID-19. I hope our story can help paint the picture of how the virus is affecting the daily life of families of health workers, around the world, to our global readers. So, with that intention, I tell my story…

My husband and I are so different, we come from different cultures and languages within India, however, one of the few things that bind us together is our love for travel. We had planned to spend our 15th wedding anniversary somewhere trekking up a mountain or looking at art pieces in a museum. Thankfully, we have similar tastes in the type of travel we do, and so that is one thing less to quarrel about in our lives! 

Instead of celebrating our anniversary in some far off exotic location, we knew that we would celebrate our love and togetherness from the quarantined confines of our home, as times were now difficult and different. And that was okay too. 

BUT – Today I dreaded waking up to our wedding anniversary. 

The author’s husband who is a physician.

You see, my husband is a frontline healthcare worker, a pulmonologist, and is involved in the treatment of patients in the COVID-19 ward in the hospital where he serves. He is in contact with hundreds of COVID-19 positive patients every single day. Several days before our anniversary he was down with a high-grade fever. Slowly this took a worrisome enough turn, for him to call up the technician to come home to test him. Thus, the whole day of our 15th wedding anniversary was spent waiting in prayerful anticipation. Well, to cut the long story of the day short, he turned out to be positive for COVID-19. This was definitely not the anniversary we were expecting, and we were now worried. 

Most healthcare workers have been facing enormous challenges – physically, mentally, and emotionally. They see in the eyes and hearts of patients, so much loneliness, pain, and fear, that, that in itself drains them out completely. It can be very overwhelming and many times the doctors and nurses die hundreds of deaths inside, as they let a life go.

As his wife, I seek to understand, yet, sometimes I do not. At times, I can sympathize. Other times I get frustrated, caught up in my own other problems or worries. 

We have missed him at times when he used to come home very late, long after my son and I had fallen asleep. At other times, I have learned to stay indifferent. I remember, once when we were on our honeymoon, he received a call from one of his patients. I don’t always have him to myself. Being married to a healthcare worker has been a very enlightening journey, living with him and his profession for the past 15 years.

The author’s family.

At times, he indicates that he understands and explains patiently how he cannot make more time for us. At other times, he is full of his own joys or sorrows of work.

In the midst of such a life, where I did not know when he would be back home for the day, things had only worsened in the past 8 months. Being part of the first responders in the fight against the coronavirus, I cheer for him. 

Every night our family wait, patiently. I say, ‘patiently’, because, the hardest part of this COVID-19 pandemic was always to constantly wonder when my husband was going to contract it. I never doubted that he wouldn’t contract it. After all, his whole day, more than 12 hours, was spent with people who had contracted it. I just prayed and hoped that at least he would be asymptomatic or he would recover very quickly.

Now, that worry was gone. He was COVID-19 positive, and I knew how the next fortnight was going to be. All of the regular COVID-19-words now stared at my face – quarantine – social distancing – uncertainty – grocery shopping for the next 15 days, etc.

I decided to take one hour at a time and gave my attention to only the most important tasks of the immediate hour. The most important thing to do, of course, was to take care of my husband.

The next thing I decided was to get off my phone, unless absolutely necessary, such as the phone calls from my parents or from my husband’s colleagues. I uninstalled all the Apps from my phone temporarily, and that is probably the best decision I have ever made in this current digitalized year.

One thing that helped me stay positive and resilient is an everyday meditation regime, and the online group meditation sessions every Sunday morning with our Heartfulness community.

I suddenly realized how close my husband was, with his colleagues, friends, seniors, juniors, students, and the Dean in his workplace. I entered his workplace that I wasn’t as aware of, prior to his sickness in our busy lives. There was an outpouring of love, concern, affection. Most days he was on his phone, when he had the energy, talking to his students, or discussing regimes and protocols with his colleagues. He never gave me the impression that he was sick. But he gave me a lot of reasons to worry too, as he was still symptomatic with fever, respiratory infection. However before I knew it, he was back on his feet and on his job (from home, as we had to be in quarantine for few more days).

One hour at a time, one day at a time, we let time pass at her own pace. The hours were long, but the days were short, as they say.

Fifteen days, after our 15th wedding anniversary, we tested again, and the results were negative. He is back to work now, and treating patients, in one of India’s hotbeds of COVID-19 – Chennai.

The author and her husband.

Our wedding anniversary will have to wait until another day, another year, but I am proud of him for being a part of India’s fight against the pandemic. He makes me proud. 

To be continued …

Read Part – 2 here.

Purnima Ramakrishnan

Purnima Ramakrishnan is an UNCA award winning journalist and the recipient of the fellowship in Journalism by International Reporting Project, John Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies. Her International reports from Brazil are found here . She is also the recipient of the BlogHer '13 International Activist Scholarship Award . She is a Senior Editor at World Moms Blog who writes passionately about social and other causes in India. Her parental journey is documented both here at World Moms Blog and also at her personal Blog, The Alchemist's Blog. She can be reached through this page . She also contributes to Huffington Post . Purnima was once a tech-savvy gal who lived in the corporate world of sleek vehicles and their electronics. She has a Master's degree in Electronics Engineering, but after working for 6 years as a Design Engineer, she decided to quit it all to become a Stay-At-Home-Mom to be with her son!   This smart mom was born and raised in India, and she has moved to live in coastal India with her husband, who is a physician, and her son who is in primary grade school.   She is a practitioner and trainer of Heartfulness Meditation.

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UK: Q&A on Brexit with “Good With Money”

UK: Q&A on Brexit with “Good With Money”

WMN Feature Brexit Big Ben

Brexit. The news is everywhere. How does this affect families in the UK and around the world? We called on our friends (literally, they are friends with Jen Burden’s sister-­in-­law!), “Good with Money” in Great Britain, a site launched by two moms who provide financial information and inspiration for families, to get their perspective from inside the UK!

What is Brexit (the short version!)?

Brexit. A week or so before the EU referendum I was in the playground with my youngest son. An elderly Chinese man looking after his grandson started up a conversation. I could just about understand his English. His comment was, basically,

“What on earth are you doing, Britain, holding a referendum on whether to leave the EU or not? Are you mad?’” Well, clearly, we are.

The UK woke up on the morning of 24 June, many of us in utter disbelief on realising 52 per cent of the country had voted to isolate our tiny island kingdom and leave the European Union. The EU currently has 28 member states, a combined population of more than 500 million, a combined GDP of more than US$18bn and an internal single market governed by its own laws. The UK joined the precursor of the EU, the European Economic Community, in 1973. So to answer the Chinese grandad, yes, we are mad, we held the referendum, and (gulp) we voted leave.

And, if that was not enough madness in itself, we’ve since seen the Prime Minister at the time, David Cameron (Remain), who called the Referendum somewhat as an election winner, resign. The two main Leave campaigners, Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage, also resign (from the resulting Conservative Party leader election race and as leader of the UK Independence Party respectively). The other key UK political party, Labour, remains in turmoil with a leader, Jeremy Corbyn, refusing to step down despite more than half of his ministers resigning just after the vote. AND…we’ve still not really heard a peep from the Greens or the Liberal Democrats (who led our coalition government between 2010 and 2015). The only person with any sense saying anything with any sense is the Governor of the Bank of England, Mark Carney, who is Canadian!! (Read our latest on that here.) And current Prime Minister Theresa May, who voted Remain, vows to follow the will of the people after the vote to Leave.

Leave or Remain, there is no averting the harsh lesson we are now getting in how that abstract and amorphous “economy” deeply affects our personal lives and society both close to home and further afield.

They say nothing is certain in life except death and taxes. Well, in the two weeks after the vote, I’d say that’s been proven, and one million times over. Previous certainties about jobs and the employment market, freedom of movement, house prices, household bills to loan rates and other personal finances have all been thrown upside down, topsy­turvy.

And one of the worst things is that some of those who are most likely to have voted Leave – the disaffected and disenfranchised – will now be among those most negatively affected by the country’s decision.

We will ALL be affected, and in far more subtle and profound ways than just how much our mortgage bill or rent goes up, as the impact of the financial crisis proved. Following the shock of 2008, higher house prices resulted in an increase in the age at which people get married and have children; the huge public deficit resulted in more people working into retirement and young people who can’t get jobs have to live with their parents for longer. More of the same again cannot be ruled out.

Despite the crazy turmoil at Westminster and in the City of London, a lot of clever people are working out how to protect us from Brexit’s illest effects. Lower interest rates and money printing are on the cards. These strategies might be a recipe for ever­living debts and poor retirements, but they will buy us time.

What are the top 3 effects on the world economy after the Brexit vote to leave the EU?

The effect on the UK economy has been, understandably, pretty pronounced. There are apparently 700,000 fewer jobs advertised in Britain since the Leave vote. Across the globe, too, markets were rocked and currencies in freefall, although they have since recovered.

Almost two weeks after the vote, the British Pound had hit another 31 year low, and it still remains well below its pre-Brexit value over one month later. There is talk of it reaching parity with the US Dollar before the end of the year. Good news for tourists visiting the UK, but not, generally, for many others.

Meanwhile, inflation, made worse by the falling Pound making imports more pricey, looks set to increase. But by how much? A few spikes notwithstanding, inflation has been fairly low for a number of years. Now, economists predict it could more than double before the end of the year, rising to as much as 4 per cent next year.

In the UK we import 60 per cent of our goods ­- that’s a lot, hey? So what do we do if our EU or even global trade agreements are not (re)negotiated fairly? That’s a lot of stuff to miss if our friends in Europe no longer choose to sell it to us ­ at favourable rates. Say au revoir to affordable Mozzarella, Balsamic vinegar, Feta cheese… blimey, this could even spell the death of our beloved Prosecco habit!

The GBP has seen a devaluation. What are some of the challenges this presents for families in the UK and abroad?

As soon as the Leave vote was announced, the British Pound slumped to its lowest level against the US dollar in 31 years. Almost two weeks later, it fell yet further, to new 31 year lows. It has also tumbled against the Euro. Despite a growing chorus of positive voices, this still makes for pretty hard reading.

It means British families with holidays booked to Europe, the US, or even elsewhere, are going to find it pretty tough going, financially.

With the Pound worth less than it was a month ago, everything is going to seem almost unstomachably expensive. So, those Brits who’ve yet to book a holiday will most likely see the summer of 2016 as their Staycation year, keeping the money closer to home. UK resorts should do well from British travellers, and they should also do well from an influx of visitors from around the world making the most of a cheap Pound.

More worryingly, perhaps, the 4.5m British families living and working overseas (with 1.4m in the EU according to the UN) are in limbo, wondering for how long they will be able to stay, and suddenly finding everything significantly more pricey.

While some in the Leave camp argued prior to the vote that Britain would be able to carve out a fuller role in foreign aid outside of the EU and would be able to develop broader international political alliances, such as with former Commonwealth countries, there’s still scant evidence emerging that this will be the case. (Frankly, there’s little evidence of anything emerging, on any future matters at all, eeek!) In fact, a number of leading names in international aid such as Oxfam, WWF, Christian Aid, ActionAid and Save the Children, signed a letter pre Brexit stating their view that only by remaining in the EU can Britain extend its reach and influence when tackling global humanitarian crises such as Syria, Middle East and north Africa.

Britain currently spends 0.7 per cent of gross national income on foreign aid, with the official budget rising to £12.2bn. The signatories of the letter said: “Every pound of aid the UK spends through EU institutions is matched by £6 from other member states. This larger pool delivers better lives for the poorest people. It also helps tackle problems in areas where the UK has no large presence. EU aid complements activities that other aid agencies cannot undertake, like police and security missions in fragile hotspots.”

So, much as those Brits living and working abroad are likely to suffer, people from developing countries who work in the UK will also be hit, as the value of what they have to send home falls further.

Will the UK’s exit from the UK make it more difficult for EU members to work in Britain and vice versa?

The jury’s still out on whether it will be more difficult for people from EU member states to work in Britain and Brits to continue working across the EU. Although I am very happy in Britain (even if it still feels a bit like a rather rudderless, possibly sinking, ship at the minute). I did find myself embracing my Irish roots (my mother is Irish) when I woke up on 24 June, the thought of wanting my kids to have the same European freedom of movement I’ve been lucky enough to have, if they so wish. I heard a rumour they’ve shut the Irish passport office though, so too late for me!

What is your top practical financial advice for families everywhere?

If like many of us in the UK ­ British, European, African, American, Asian, etc., ­you find yourself wondering w h a t   t h e   h e c k   t o  d o  n o w , we’ve come up with a few post ­ Brexit ‘keep calm and collected’ financial tips:

  • ­Consider switching your energy supplier. ­Homegrown renewable energy is less sensitive to price volatility and kinder to the planet.
  • ­Check your savings balances. ­ Up to £75,000 deposits are covered by the Financial Services Compensation Scheme; the EU deposit guarantee limit is Euro 100,000.
  • ­Analyse your everyday spending to guard against too much vulnerability to further falls in the Pound.
  • ­Hold off buying foreign currency. (Or see it as a chance to change all those Dollars and Euros hiding in drawers and down the back of the sofa back into Pounds!)
  • ­Consider fixing your mortgage. ­ Yes, rates are tipped to fall, but there may be short term volatility and fixed rates are super­low at the moment
  • ­Go local, buy local. Support the local economy, it’s going to need it.
  • ­But go global, too. ­ Investors should ensure their portfolios are globally diversified and denominated in several currencies, not only the Pound.

You could also check out our Positive, Practical and Principles Good with Money tips to get your family finances back on track post­-Brexit.

For more on the financial effects of Brexit and more, Lisa and Becky can be found providing financial tips for families in the UK at Good with Money.

This is a guest post to World Moms Network by Lisa Stanley in the UK of Good with Money. (Thank you, Lisa!)
Photo credit to Jennifer Burden.

World Moms Blog

World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.

World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.

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CANADA: Healthcare Heaven

healthcareAchoo!  Can someone pass me a tissue, again?  It seems like not a week goes by without someone in my family being sick.  It’s ‘cold and flu’ season in Canada, and we sure have had our share.  The whole bunch of us went through countless colds, a couple episodes of a gastro virus, and a brush with the flu and high fevers.

We’ve had so many visits to the doctor’s office to check the kids’ cold symptoms (Is it an ear infection? Is there a wheeze in the baby’s chest?) that the receptionist recognises my voice over the phone.

Yes, it’s me again.  I’m bringing in this child, this time.  No, the other one is doing better now, thank you.

I have three children ages five and under.  Someone is always sick or getting sick.  We live in the land of the runny nose.  Two of my children have serious special needs and they have their own unique medical concerns.  So we go to the doctor, a lot.

And we remain grateful.  Because all those trips to the doctor do not cost me a dime out of pocket. (more…)

specialneedmom2

Angela is a Special Education teacher who blogs about her super-powered special needs family. She has a 3 year old with Prader-Willi Syndrome and a 5 year old with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and Sensory Processing Disorder. The odds of these random genetic events occurring at the same time are astronomical. "When you add our typically developing one year old baby boy to the mix, you have a very busy household!", she explains.

Angela admits to having too many appointments, too many school problems, and being generally too busy as she tries to live life to the fullest. Please visit her family at Half Past Normal for more of their adventures! If you want to connect to chat, you can find her on Twitter @specialneedmom2
If you are interested in Special Education policies and procedures in Ontario – or just some excellent strategies and accommodations – please check out Angela's other site at Special Ed on the Bell Curve.

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