by World Moms Blog | Apr 17, 2012 | Human Rights, Motherhood, World Motherhood, World Voice
Twelve and a half years ago, the love of my life and I promised to love and care for each other “until death do us part”. We had a lovely backyard ceremony with flowers and music. Our family and friends dressed up, brought gifts, and ate the delicious banquet of food and drinks we provided for them. It was fabulous! Sounds like a marriage ceremony, but here’s the catch…we were never legally married.
Why? We weren’t allowed to get married. It was and still is against the law where we live. You see, we are both women – female – xx chromosomes. That’s it. That’s the only reason we were denied this basic legal right.
In the United States of America, a legal marriage grants over 1,100 federal benefits and around 300 state benefits. So how has this made our lives different? What do we miss out on? What have we had to sacrifice?
In the beginning, we had to pay $300 to legally change our names. We then had to hire an attorney to create legal documents such as power of attorney and living wills in order to be able to make decisions for each other as much as legally possible.
Then we had children: boy/girl twins and then another boy. That was and still is the area that most concerns us about not having a legally recognized marriage. Our children are not legally both of ours! In the state we live in, we have no ability to grant each other legal custody of our biological children. (more…)
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
More Posts
by Tara Bergman (USA) | Mar 23, 2012 | Motherhood, Tara B., USA, World Motherhood
I have two young sons. When I think about what I want for them in life, love is on top of the list.
I want them to feel the love of their family – the unconditional love of both their parents and the love that comes from the special bond of being brothers.
I want them to know what it’s like to have the love of true, life long friends who will celebrate their strengths and look past their weaknesses.
I want them to understand what it means to love themselves and everything special and unique that only their spirits bring to the world. Through this, they can reciprocate all the love that they receive.
I want them to feel love for the natural world around them.
And I want them to experience romantic love, hopefully with more positive than negative outcomes (because let’s be honest….heartbreak is part of the deal).
It’s this last part that prompts me to write today. The awakening of romantic love and sexual attraction is (more…)
Tara is a native Pennsylvanian who moved to the Seattle area in 1998 (sight unseen) with her husband to start their grand life adventure together. Despite the difficult fact that their family is a plane ride away, the couple fell in love with the Pacific Northwest and have put down roots. They have 2 super charged little boys and recently moved out of the Seattle suburbs further east into the country, trading in a Starbucks on every corner for coyotes in the backyard. Tara loves the outdoors (hiking, biking, camping). And, when her family isn't out in nature, they are hunkered down at home with friends, sharing a meal, playing games, and generally having fun. She loves being a stay-at-home mom and sharing her experiences on World Moms Network!
More Posts
Twelve and a half years ago, the love of my life and I promised to love and care for each other “until death do us part”. We had a lovely backyard ceremony with flowers and music. Our family and friends dressed up, brought gifts, and ate the delicious banquet of food and drinks we provided for them. It was fabulous! Sounds like a marriage ceremony, but here’s the catch…we were never legally married.
