by Patricia Cuyugan (Philippines) | Jun 19, 2014 | 2014, Parenting, World Motherhood
My son and his cousins!
Yes, it’s true. My 8-year old son and I recently had a conversation about his being an only child and the prospect of him having siblings in the near future. And, well, this was the response that I received from him:
No, Mommy, I don’t want any siblings.
To be honest, I have been asked several times why I still only have one child. It’s been asked so often that I already have a set of predetermined answers that I use, depending on who I am speaking with.
“Maybe eventually, when we get our own place, we can have another kid.”
“We live in one room. The only space I have left to put a crib in is the bathroom.”
“Oh, it’s so expensive raising a child! And I’m already going nuts with just one.”
“Someday.”
“Maybe I haven’t gotten pregnant because I have yet to lose the baby weight from my last pregnancy. Oh, and yes, I know it’s been eight years.”
And the list goes on and on. There are days, though, when I ask myself if it’s time. My husband and I talked about it, too, on more than one occasion. We both agree that if it’s meant to be, it will happen. We also are on the same page in thinking that we should focus on raising our son, instead of dwelling on what may come into our lives in the future.
He’s the only one, but he sure isn’t lonely.
One of the things I am often told is that I should give my son someone to play with. And yes, it’s put in exactly those words, as if having one more kid was as simple as buying a toy from the store. I know for a fact that the age gap between my son and any baby that we might eventually have is too big for them to truly become playmates. I would know because my sister and I were born six years apart, and it was already difficult to relate to each other growing up. With the at least nine-year gap we are looking at, at this point, getting pregnant in order for my son to have a playmate isn’t exactly a compelling reason.
Fortunately, fate has made up for his lack of siblings with a surplus of cousins, who are also about his age. Between my cousins and I, we have five small boys, and they get see each other quite often. One is even in the same school and grade level as my son. We also recently made friends with some of our neighbors who have young boys at home, and so playdates are fun for us both. The mommies get to chitchat while the kids run around and be kids together.
And just recently, our family was blessed with a vacation getaway together with fellow World Moms Blog contributor, Tina and her family!
Her son and mine became friends in an instant, and that trip was definitely one of the most memorable yet. Yes, he may be the only one, but he sure isn’t alone.
World Mom Contributors Tina Santiago-Rodriguez and Mrs. C. on vacation together in the Philippines!
Don’t worry baby, I’m happy with just you.
I am very content being mom to just one child.
There are definite perks to having a small family. I get to focus on my child 100% each and every time. And because my attention is all on him, I can see so clearly what an awesome kid he has turned out to be. He has become very close to both his dad and I. He is growing up to be independent, secure and confident. He knows how to keep himself occupied and entertained, and without gadgets at that. He is excited about making new friends and spending time with them. He loves hanging out with his parents, grandparents, aunts and uncle.
I know that being able to care for him myself, with the help of family, of course, has played such a big role in his development. I, honestly, can’t say if it would have been the same with more kids at home, but there’s really no reason to dwell on what might have been. For now, I am happy with just the opportunity to be a mom and to raise a child. And in the future, if it’s meant to be, I know that I will be the most excited over having more.
How about you, how many kids do you have? Parents with only one child, does your kid look forward to having siblings? And to the moms with several children, how has having siblings helped your child in his growth and development?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Mrs. C of “Mrs. C’s Sugarcoated Life” in the Philippines.
Photo credit to the author.
Patricia Cuyugan is a wife, mom, cat momma, and a hands-on homemaker from Manila, whose greatest achievement is her pork adobo. She has been writing about parenting for about as long as she’s been a parent, which is just a little over a decade. When she’s not writing, you can usually find her reading a book, binge-watching a K-drama series, or folding laundry. She really should be writing, though! Follow her homemaking adventures on Instagram at @patriciacuyugs.
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by Erin M. Threlfall | May 30, 2012 | Indonesia, Life Balance, World Moms Blog
He went gliding down the lane, arms stretched out to the side, a gleeful shout of joy escaping from his cheek-stretching grin, his speed slightly hindered by the training wheels clacking along the cobblestones. “I want to go faster!!’ my son shouted. My neighbor made the proclamation, speaking out loud the words that I have kept muted: “It is time to take off the training wheels! He is ready.”
A little over a year ago, my little man was barely able to handle the bike with training wheels. He was scared to get on the seat, afraid to ride the bike down the lane without me there, holding him up. Tired of the muscle pains that came from long walks spent crouched over, I finally made a decree: “You learn to ride on your own or you simply don’t ride.” This may not be the kindest way to parent, but it definitely worked. (more…)
Originally from the US, Erin has credited her intense wanderlust and desire to live around the globe to her nomadic childhood. Every two to three years, her father’s work with a large international company provided the opportunity to know a different part of the US (VA, OH, PA, GA, SC, NY) and eventually Europe (Germany and Italy) and Asia (Thailand and Japan). Though her parents and siblings finally settled down in the heartland of America, Erin kept the suitcases in action and has called Ghana, South Korea, Togo, Bali, and now New York home. Single Mom to a fabulous seven-year-old citizen of the world, she is an educator and theatre artist who is fascinated with world cultures and artistic practices. Her big dream is to some day open a school focused on well-being and inquiry based learning to meet the needs of all her learners. In the meantime, Erin and her Little Man Edem, plan to keep investigating theatre and influencing education, one continent at a time. You can read some of her ramblings and perhaps find the common thread by checking our her personal blog, telling all about This Life http://www.erinmthrelfall.com/
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by Ecoziva (Brazil) | Dec 12, 2011 | Brazil, Education, Motherhood, World Motherhood
We have a couple of neighbors who spent some years overseas studying towards their PhDs. At the time, their now grown kids were children.
On the day the father finally gave in the final version of his thesis to the teachers who were going to evaluate it, the son approached him in his den and said:
“Dad, can I ask you for something?”
Of course, on that day his mood couldn’t be better, so he promptly answered:
“Today you can ask me for anything, son!”
He obviously thought his son would want an expensive toy or the like, but instead he said:
“I want that pile of papers over there.” (more…)
Eco, from the greek oikos means home; Ziva has many meanings and roots, including Hebrew (brilliance, light), Slovenian (goddess of life) and Sanskrit (blessing). In Brazil, where EcoZiva has lived for most of her life, giving birth is often termed “giving the light”; thus, she thought, a mother is “home to light” during the nine months of pregnancy, and so the penname EcoZiva came to be for World Moms Blog.
Born in the USA in a multi-ethnic extended family, EcoZiva is married and the mother of two boys (aged 12 and three) and a five-year-old girl and a three yearboy. She is trained as a biologist and presently an university researcher/professor, but also a volunteer at the local environmental movement.
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by Twinmom112 (USA) | Sep 27, 2011 | Family, Life Lesson, Motherhood, USA
While growing up, I never knew I was “different.” OK, I knew that my household wasn’t exactly the Brady Brunch, but I had no idea how “different” I truly was.
As a little girl, I was certain about only a handful of things: 1) my father was always present, my mother was not. 2) My father easily forgave us, my mother did not. 3) My father always remembered the things I needed, my mother did not.
My mother was an alcoholic. Ahhh yes, I said it. No shame … no embarrassment … at age “thirty-something,” it is just a fact. (more…)
Born on the West Coast, my parents quickly came back to their roots on the East Coast, and so the “Jersey Girl” stigma was put upon me. I spent the first part of my childhood in Northern New Jersey – but eventually settled in Central Jersey, where I will live for the next 25 years! Even branching out to attend college at West Virginia University – I still found myself surrounded by “Jersey” – some things you just can’t get away from!
I was married at 27, and my husband and I transitioned from New Jersey to Pennsylvania. After building our house and getting acclimated to our “new home,” starting a family was definitely our next step. Unfortunately, we never anticipated the journey we would embark on. For the next 3 years, our introduction to the world of infertility was something that we never expected! Growing-up, I just assumed that when I was “ready” to be a mother … I would. Something greater than me had other plans!
After an intense time of highs and lows – we got the greatest news ever! On May 24th, 2005 it was confirmed – parenting twins would be the next stage of our lives. And so it began…I never imaged, for one second, I would be the mother to twin daughters! Today, like most parents, “juggling” is a word I use often! I attempt to “juggle” my full-time job as the Sales and Marketing Director for a catering venue with my job as a mother.
Together with my husband and our families – we make it work! I am so proud to be a part of World Moms Blog. I believe that the lessons I can learn from other mothers are invaluable. I couldn’t be happier to be a part of such a wonderful community of mothers!
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