My son and his cousins!
Yes, it’s true. My 8-year old son and I recently had a conversation about his being an only child and the prospect of him having siblings in the near future. And, well, this was the response that I received from him:
No, Mommy, I don’t want any siblings.
To be honest, I have been asked several times why I still only have one child. It’s been asked so often that I already have a set of predetermined answers that I use, depending on who I am speaking with.
“Maybe eventually, when we get our own place, we can have another kid.”
“We live in one room. The only space I have left to put a crib in is the bathroom.”
“Oh, it’s so expensive raising a child! And I’m already going nuts with just one.”
“Maybe I haven’t gotten pregnant because I have yet to lose the baby weight from my last pregnancy. Oh, and yes, I know it’s been eight years.”
And the list goes on and on. There are days, though, when I ask myself if it’s time. My husband and I talked about it, too, on more than one occasion. We both agree that if it’s meant to be, it will happen. We also are on the same page in thinking that we should focus on raising our son, instead of dwelling on what may come into our lives in the future.
He’s the only one, but he sure isn’t lonely.
One of the things I am often told is that I should give my son someone to play with. And yes, it’s put in exactly those words, as if having one more kid was as simple as buying a toy from the store. I know for a fact that the age gap between my son and any baby that we might eventually have is too big for them to truly become playmates. I would know because my sister and I were born six years apart, and it was already difficult to relate to each other growing up. With the at least nine-year gap we are looking at, at this point, getting pregnant in order for my son to have a playmate isn’t exactly a compelling reason.
Fortunately, fate has made up for his lack of siblings with a surplus of cousins, who are also about his age. Between my cousins and I, we have five small boys, and they get see each other quite often. One is even in the same school and grade level as my son. We also recently made friends with some of our neighbors who have young boys at home, and so playdates are fun for us both. The mommies get to chitchat while the kids run around and be kids together.
And just recently, our family was blessed with a vacation getaway together with fellow World Moms Blog contributor, Tina and her family!
Her son and mine became friends in an instant, and that trip was definitely one of the most memorable yet. Yes, he may be the only one, but he sure isn’t alone.
World Mom Contributors Tina Santiago-Rodriguez and Mrs. C. on vacation together in the Philippines!
Don’t worry baby, I’m happy with just you.
I am very content being mom to just one child.
There are definite perks to having a small family. I get to focus on my child 100% each and every time. And because my attention is all on him, I can see so clearly what an awesome kid he has turned out to be. He has become very close to both his dad and I. He is growing up to be independent, secure and confident. He knows how to keep himself occupied and entertained, and without gadgets at that. He is excited about making new friends and spending time with them. He loves hanging out with his parents, grandparents, aunts and uncle.
I know that being able to care for him myself, with the help of family, of course, has played such a big role in his development. I, honestly, can’t say if it would have been the same with more kids at home, but there’s really no reason to dwell on what might have been. For now, I am happy with just the opportunity to be a mom and to raise a child. And in the future, if it’s meant to be, I know that I will be the most excited over having more.
How about you, how many kids do you have? Parents with only one child, does your kid look forward to having siblings? And to the moms with several children, how has having siblings helped your child in his growth and development?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Mrs. C of “Mrs. C’s Sugarcoated Life” in the Philippines.
Photo credit to the author.
I haven’t written for World Moms Blog in a while, I’ve had the privilege to work with two wonderful organizations in our country in the past few months, which is why I’ve been lying low around here. Most of my work has been online: blog coaching, doing digital strategy, etc. To run down what’s happened since the beginning of 2014:
- I rebranded my website. It’s now called “Make it Blissful,” and is dedicated to the quest for meaningful living.
- I started doing more workshops, as part of my shift to entrepreneurship. I’ve been doing monthly workshops since December 2013, which I would do quarterly in 2013.
- I worked on several websites, two of which are advocacy-related and geared at fund-raising efforts for our countrymen who were affected by the deadly Typhoon Haiyan last year. The websites I created for them were ProjectHopePH and ApldeApFoundation.org. (Do check them out when you have time!)
- I’ve coached more than ten ladies since the beginning of this year, on how to launch their own online platforms and communities.
- I started teaching some blogging classes (non-credited, short course only) at a local college.
- And, to date, I’m a contributing writer for several mom-centric and women-centric blogs, such as The Work at Home Woman, The Mom Writes, Glam-O-Mamas, and of course, The World Moms Blog.
Yes, you could say I’m busy. I’ve had to do all this while homeschooling my son as well, which is no easy feat. We have a very flexible, crafts and arts-based homeschool setup, though, because I’d rather he play more than study. Some days I feel like I should slow down — and I do — so that I can play with him some more.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m too busy. I stay at home most days of the week, save for on-location meetings for clients who aren’t as Web-savvy (read: they don’t or can’t meet over Skype!). Still, even at home, I have to deliberately say “no” at times to things that compete for Vito’s attention. While my son understands that Mom has to work, even though she’s at home, I know myself and when I am getting too wrapped up in work instead of working with my son.
There will always be a juggle for me. I’ve decided to be a work-at-home mom, after all. These days though, as my son gets older and more curious about the world he lives in, I have to be mindful of our sacred times together. As a woman whose “office” is limited to a small deskspace and a laptop, I also have to be careful that I don’t get sucked into my microworld of obligations.
Yes, of course, I have to deliver the best work to my clients — and I’m very grateful for the clients I have. But, I cannot and will not lose out on the daily challenges and memory-crafting moments that the universe has blessed me with as a mother.
And so, this is why I’m glad I can still write openly and freely about motherhood here on WMB. My fellow mom-bloggers here have been so supportive of my work, and were so sweet to let me have a “blog-iatus” (i.e. “hiatus”) from writing here so that I could catch my breath. I’m very glad to be back , albeit I’ll no longer have my editor role. That’s what’s great about this community: Moms support one another, no questions asked.
So, thank you for reading this, whoever you are. It means so much to me that I can keep on blogging here, from my small workspace here in the urban jungle of Manila. Isn’t blogging awesome?
This is an original post by Martine de Luna for World Moms Blog. You can find her on her blog, Make it Blissful, and work with her at Martine de Luna – Digital Creatives. Photo credit to the author.
Recently, I wrote an article for Philstar.com, a local news website here in the Philippines, entitled, “We Are All Connected.” It was about the typhoon in the Philippines, dubbed internationally as “Bopha,” but known locally as “Pablo.” Allow me to share a few lines from that article here:
“Dear readers, the reality is this: We are all connected. Whether we like it or not. Whether we believe it or not. Whether we have the same beliefs or not. Whether we are Muslim, Catholic, Christian, Hindu, Buddhists, atheists — we are all connected somehow. At least, that’s what I believe.
As Filipinos, we have witnessed our country and our countrymen rise from different calamities and disasters — both natural and man-made. We know that ‘the Filipino spirit is waterproof. We know that, after this typhoon, there may still be more to come (though let us pray that there aren’t any more) — yet we will still stand strong.”
Well, as of Sunday, December 9, the typhoon was still making its presence felt in our country, although as of Sunday afternoon, it had already been “downgraded” from a tropical depression to a low pressure area. Bopha was actually supposed to have left the Philippine area of responsibility by then, but it veered back in, the evening of December 8.
As I write this post, the latest news reports state (more…)
“When are you going to have another baby?”
I get asked this question at least once every week. At least, it feels like I do.
It seems that whenever an acquaintance runs into me while I’m out, or when we’re visiting extended family, the matter of when I’m going to give my little boy a new brother or sister has become a conversation piece.
It’s like the default question everyone asks me, perhaps when they can’t think of anything else to ask.
The pressure to have a second child has never been more real to me than it is now. (more…)
Where in the world do you live? And, are you from there?
I’m from the sunny Philippines! I reside in the capital, Manila, with my husband and son. I was born here and I’m Filipino, though I spent my childhood abroad, as we were expatriated in 1985. I actually met my would-be-husband while in school in Singapore, during the mid-1990s.
What language(s) do you speak?
Despite growing up in Hong Kong and Singapore until I was in my mid-teens, I don’t know how to speak Chinese! (Then again, I went to British schools.) English is my first language. I learned to speak Filipino (Tagalog) when we moved back here; I was 15 then.
When did you first become a mother?
I gave birth to my son, Vito, in 2009. Friends, however, said I was “mommy material” because I liked kids so much (I used to teach in a progressive school), and because I (more…)