From the time we are born, we spend our lives adapting and fine tuning ourselves.
We spend countless hours trying to understand what makes us tick and what makes us happy. We spend time trying to fit in and even more time trying to figure out where it is that we want to fit into.
We spend time trying to understand what it means to be a good child, a good student, a good spouse, a good friend, a good employee, a good parent and a good person. We try to figure out if what everyone else calls good is really good for us or even good at all.
We listen to advice and reject advice. We read books, listen to speakers, go to courses and go to therapy, all the while still trying to figure out what the “perfect” version of us is. Or at the very least, what the working version of us is.
There are times that we think we have come close to perfect, or at least close to a version of ourselves that is pretty darn good. Finally an “us” that we can live with and are even a bit proud of.
And then it starts.
The slowly building mountain of stress. Self induced, life induced, it doesn’t really matter. (more…)
I have just experienced that feeling of “thank God there are two of us,” which is automatically followed by a rush of respect for all the single parents out there. I am not talking about being able to go out while your other half can stay home with the kids, or being able to share sick days, or being able to share childcare pickups and drop offs; although just writing this list gives me greater appreciation for my other half who is there to share the joyous, yet sometimes challenging role of parenting.
What I’m talking about are those moments where you just can’t take it anymore. Just writing about my experience makes me feel almost ashamed, but these real life parenting moments do happen – to all of us I’m sure.
It’s beyond any reasoning, when all the love, patience and understanding fly out the window; when all the books and all the best advice seem like insignificant nonsense and when you are beyond common sense, alone in the world, no light at the end of the tunnel.
Let me go back in time and share with you how a perfectly sane, relaxed and happy young mother transforms into a frustrated and completely clueless role model void of all parenting self-esteem…. (more…)