NEW JERSEY, USA: Organic Love

NEW JERSEY, USA: Organic Love

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Relationships are like food: sometimes we go through a sweet period, sprinkling yummy “I love you’s” here and there. Other times, something turns sour. A word, a small remark rots a whole day, like a mold-covered strawberry infects an entire packet. But hopefully for the most part, we enjoy a balanced, contenting diet, adapted to our needs.

Everybody’s food diet is different, but there are some basics to stick to: not too much of the junk, limit salt, watch sugar, etc. And coating some bad food with additives and colorants to make it look healthy and attractive, doesn’t do the deed. There’s nothing healthier than making a meal with fresh, basic ingredients.

I don’t have the recipe for ever-lasting love. But just like with food, I feel that there are some basics to stick to. We should definitely keep the lies out, nurture one another, and stay away from the many fake additives that might keep our relationships on the display shelf for longer, but at what cost to their health? In my view, some things scream “Need for attention”. They are:

1. If you can’t tell your partner that he/she is an ill-tempered, annoying brat when he/she’s being one, that’s not right. You should be able to tell it like it is. There might be a fine line between being direct and hurting feelings, but let’s face it, when you’re going out all night drinking with your friends while your wife is home with two sick kids and has not slept in a week, you are it! If you unleash a storm of insults on your husband because he snores too much, you are it! And you deserve to know. So you can take a good look in the mirror. If your partner can’t tell you that you are being unreasonable without you losing the plot, then guess what . . . You are it!

2. If you say, “I am sorry”, immediately followed by, “but”, that’s not an apology. That’s an explanation as to why you’re not apologizing. I know the famous movie line, “Love is to never have to say you’re sorry”, but (there it is!), I believe love to be the exact opposite. If you’re being purposely mean, you need to apologize. If you’re being inconsiderate you need to apologize, if you’re being hurtful, you need to apologize. If you never apologize, could you possibly be all of the above?

3. If you feel the need to express your undying love and eternal faithfulness in the privacy of your Facebook page, that’s not right. I’m not talking about the occasional nice words, here and there. I’m talking about the constant need to post that, you do love him / her. Your “friends might “like” the sugar coated lines you write on your wall everyday. But they will equally “like” the video of you cutting his clothes and hammering his gnome collection. The only persons who need to acknowledge that you love your partner are . . . your partner, and your children.

4. If you think Fifty Shades Of Grey is a romantic story with a little X-rated material, that’s not right. Fifty Shades might be a brilliant piece of work, but I think it’s far from being a fairy tale encounter between prince Charming and young naïve nobody, who get together and live kinkily ever after.

In this book series, I read about a mentally abusive relationship (and possibly physically but what do I know, I don’t have a red room in my house . . . ), I read about a woman who thinks she’s in control when she has surrendered all of it to a guy who owns her, body and soul.

It’s not about mutual love and respect, and the guy is certainly not the man of anyone’s dream – aside from the striking gorgeous looks, the private helicopter / jet / many mansions, and of course, the lady who cooks all his meals. . .

5. If you only address your partner, who is standing an inch away from you, through your kids, that’s not right.

“Tell Dad that his music is driving me crazy and if he doesn’t lower the volume, I’ll make him eat his ipod. . . Please.”

“No, sweetheart, I cannot buy you a doll house, because Mommy spent all our money on some ugly curtains so maybe you can play with that instead.”

That kind of stuff.

I am no relationship counselor, thank the Gods for the good of the humanity!

But I think that sometimes we get caught up in layers of political correctness, attention seeking, and fairy tale illusions. These are the pollutants in our recipe.

I wonder what happened to, “Honey, you are being a prat right now.” “You are right. I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. I love you.”

No messenger to deliver the message. No winding road to go from A to B. No hiding behind the idyllic image we are projecting to the world around us. Just the basic ingredients: two people ready to listen, some love and empathy.

How do you keep a health check on your relationship? How do you teach your children to be open to listening and empathy?

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Nadege Nicoll. She was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. Nadege also writes a daily blog for moms who need to smile at everyday life. She can be found on Twitter, Facebook and her website www.nadegenicoll.com.

Photo credit to the author.

Nadege Nicoll

Nadege Nicoll was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. She stopped working in the corporate world to raise her three children and multiple pets, thus secretly gathering material for her books. She writes humorous fictions for kids aged 8 to 12. She published her first chapter book, “Living with Grown-Ups: Raising Parents” in March 2013. Her second volume in the series just came out in October 2013. “Living with Grown-Ups: Duties and Responsibilities” Both books take an amusing look at parents’ inconsistent behaviors, seen from the perspective of kids. Nadege hopes that with her work, children will embrace reading and adults will re-discover the children side of parenthood. Nadege has a few more volumes ready to print, so watch this space…

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CALIFORNIA, USA: Homemade Gift Idea – Coconut Oil Body Butter

CALIFORNIA, USA: Homemade Gift Idea – Coconut Oil Body Butter

Christmas is around the corner and some of us are panicking about last minute gifts. Sometimes we don’t have the time to get gifts. Sometimes we don’t want to go shopping because we don’t like the crowds elbowing around the mall, all looking for a good deal. Sometimes we simply don’t have a clue what to get!

I’ll tell what is a good deal and a great idea for a wonderful homemade gift…and I can assure you, the person who gets it will love it!  HOMEMADE BODY BUTTER. All natural and personalized the way you want it.

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Ewa Samples

Ewa was born, and raised in Poland. She graduated University with a master's degree in Mass-Media Education. This daring mom hitchhiked from Berlin, Germany through Switzerland and France to Barcelona, Spain and back again! She left Poland to become an Au Pair in California and looked after twins of gay parents for almost 2 years. There, she met her future husband through Couch Surfing, an international non-profit network that connects travelers with locals. Today she enjoys her life one picture at a time. She runs a photography business in sunny California and document her daughters life one picture at a time. You can find this artistic mom on her blog, Ewa Samples Photography, on Twitter @EwaSamples or on Facebook!

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NEW ZEALAND: Pavlova

NEW ZEALAND: Pavlova

6854765893_118ff3065a_bPavlova is a New Zealand invention, whatever any random Australian may tell you, and as such it’s a dessert that tends to get trotted out whenever Kiwis have overseas visitors.

As I am the sort of Mum who thinks ice-cream in cones or pieces of fruit are perfectly adequate desserts, it was with more enthusiasm than skill that I recently decided to make a Pav for some international visitors.

This was a good plan. My Mum has an awesome recipe, which involves throwing all the ingredients into a bowl and mixing until done. I also remembered to put the eggs in the hot-water cupboard over night to ensure the meringue meringue-ed properly. I was feeling smug. I should never do that. (more…)

Karyn Wills

Karyn is a teacher, writer and solo mother to three sons. She lives in the sunny wine region of Hawke’s Bay, New Zealand in the city of Napier.

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SOCIAL GOOD: It’s Sweet Potato Day with #ONEMoms!

SOCIAL GOOD: It’s Sweet Potato Day with #ONEMoms!

WMB-Sweet-Potato-Day-1When World Moms Blog first became a #ONEMoms community partner, we published a collaborative post by our global contributors on sweet potato recipes. Our moms mixed the root with everything from black beans to walnuts!

Today, we’re back participating in the ONE Blog Hop and helping to spread the word about Sweet Potato Day today! (#sweetpotatolove)

Could you imagine if your community could make a big healthy difference by adding sweet potatoes to the local diet? In many communities this switch can be the difference from a child growing up malnourished or nourished.  Or a child needing eye glasses, or not. (more…)

Jennifer Burden

Jennifer Burden is the Founder and CEO of World Moms Network, an award winning website on global motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. World Moms Network writes from over 30 countries, has over 70 contributors and was listed by Forbes as one of the “Best 100 Websites for Women”, named a “must read” by The New York Times, and was recommended by The Times of India. She was also invited to Uganda to view UNICEF’s family health programs with Shot@Life and was previously named a “Global Influencer Fellow” and “Social Media Fellow” by the UN Foundation. Jennifer was invited to the White House twice, including as a nominated "Changemaker" for the State of the World Women Summit. She also participated in the One Campaign’s first AYA Summit on the topic of women and girl empowerment and organized and spoke on an international panel at the World Bank in Washington, DC on the importance of a universal education for all girls. Her writing has been featured by Baby Center, Huffington Post, ONE.org, the UN Foundation’s Shot@Life, and The Gates Foundation’s “Impatient Optimists.” She is currently a candidate in Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs in the Executive Masters of Public Affairs program, where she hopes to further her study of global policies affecting women and girls. Jennifer can be found on Twitter @JenniferBurden.

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NEW YORK, USA: My Healthier Muffins!

I should preface this by saying I am not usually a baker. Don’t get me wrong, I love to cook almost everything, but I didn’t grow up in a home that always had baked goods, so I was just not accustomed to it.

Then, a few years ago, I decided to try to bake muffins as a rainy day activity for my 2-year old son and I. They were super easy, healthy and delicious. I found that most of the recipes were similar, just substituting different fruit from one to the other.

My son went apple picking with his class a few months ago. What a wonderful fun, fall activity and a great way to spend a day, but I found myself holding a rather large bag of apples.

“What do you want to do with all of these apples?” I asked. “You can only use them in my apple cinnamon oatmeal, Maman”. Somehow, we were supposed to manage to keep these apples from going bad, and only use one a day….that’s not what I had on my mind. So we made muffins 🙂 (more…)

Maman Aya (USA)

Maman Aya is a full-time working mother of 2 beautiful children, a son who is 6 and a daughter who is two. She is raising her children in the high-pressure city of New York within a bilingual and multi-religious home. Aya was born in Canada to a French mother who then swiftly whisked her away to NYC, where she grew up and spent most of her life. She was raised following Jewish traditions and married an Irish Catholic American who doesn’t speak any other language (which did not go over too well with her mother), but who is learning French through his children. Aya enjoys her job but feels “mommy guilt” while at work. She is lucky to have the flexibility to work from home on Thursdays and recently decided to change her schedule to have “mommy Fridays”, but still feels torn about her time away from her babies. Maman Aya is not a writer by any stretch of the imagination, but has been drawn in by the mothers who write for World Moms Blog. She looks forward to joining the team and trying her hand at writing!

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