In a conversation with a friend the other day, she mentioned that someone once asked her if I was seriously okay with letting my 7-year-old go to the bathroom by himself. A little while later I read Mama B’s post about how her house is a dungeon of rules, and I suddenly felt extremely guilty for not imposing more rules on my son. (more…)
The month of May in Korea is “family month” and includes Children’s Day and Parents’ Day (as well as Teachers’ Day and Buddha’s birthday). It’s a celebratory time here, especially as it coincides with the mild temperatures and blossoms of spring. These last two years the month of May has also included a much quieter celebration – Single Mothers Day.
To be a single mother in Korea is no small thing. Women who find themselves pregnant out of wedlock are often pressured by their friends and family to have an abortion or to give up their child for adoption. 90% of children who are adopted from Korea are born to single mothers and, unlike in the West, the majority of unwed pregnant mothers in Korea are over the age of 25. The women who choose to keep their children and raise them as single parents are very few and the discrimination they face is astonishing to someone like me who is not from here.
The shame associated with unwed motherhood is not just the burden of the woman to bear. Her parents, her siblings, and her child are all subjected to it as well. It is often kept a secret for as long as possible since the repercussions of people knowing can be dire, including loss of job, home, and social status. Many of these women can no longer live with their families, as is the custom, the disgrace and shame is so great.
This is so interesting to me, coming from a country whose president was raised by a single mother. Single parenthood is by no means considered ideal in the West, but no person, politician or otherwise, would dream of speaking ill of mothers who are working hard to raise a family on their own without fear of immense (and well-deserved) backlash, the prevailing sentiment being: Don’t they have it hard enough? (more…)
“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” ~~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Lately, I have been avoiding my Facebook feed and deleting people who I realize have views much different from mine. Yes, I am aware that we all have varying opinions on all issues, large and small. However, as the United States Presidential election moves closer, I am reminded of the enormity of the race factor in this country. Hence, I no longer wish to be bombarded on Facebook with hate based words and images.
Despite the fact that an overwhelming number of caucasians voted President Obama in to office, there are still large portions of the population that, without verbally admitting it, are uncomfortable that a black man is in charge of our country. And yes, he is considered black, not biracial, despite the current climate of political correctness. If he wasn’t considered a black man, I highly doubt that the legitimacy of his birth certificate would STILL be a topic of conversation.
Has he been a good President? I can’t say; history will make that distinction for me. Will he be re elected? I hope so, despite the fact that I do not vote. (Another topic, for another day) Has he proven that race should not be the defining characteristic of a person? Sadly, not yet but maybe when my children are grandparents, having a multicultural President will be the norm and not the exception. (more…)
“Maximum 28 years old”
“Minimum height 160cm”
These are just some of the lines in job ads that always make me sick to my stomach in my journey to find a new job in this city.
To be brutally honest, I might be experiencing a tiny bit of regret for quitting my old job. Maybe I should’ve put up with being underpaid and overworked, with no chance to become a permanent employee, rather than plunging myself in to the job hunting pool again.
Now I understand why some of my old friends stick with their underpaid jobs, some even only make minimum wage, because it’s a highly competitive world out here.
The last job I received was as a Personal Assistant, which lasted for 3 days. The boss said some pretty hurtful things and didn’t show any tolerance for me missing a day of work because I had to care for my mother who was in ICU at the time. So what’s an emotional, Pisces single mom to do? I quit and told the guy that I could never work with someone who doesn’t have a heart! Maybe I should’ve just dealt with the curses, the yelling and kept my job. (more…)
Where in the world do you live? And, are you from there?
I have lived in Reno, Nevada since 2006. I was born and raised in Fremont, California.
What language(s) do you speak?
I speak English, and can communicate with American Sign Language. I have taken both Spanish and French courses.
When did you first become a mother?
I was 22 when I had my son in 2006, although it was probably a year later when I really started feeling like a mother.
Are you a stay-at-home mom or do you work?
I currently work outside of the home as an administrative assistant for an environmental consulting firm here in Reno. In addition to that, I am also a Tupperware consultant and freelance editor.
Why do you blog/write?
I have always been a writer. I have been writing stories since elementary school. I love writing. I started my blog as an attempt to get myself into the habit of writing on a regular basis. Now I use it as a sounding (more…)