NEW ZEALAND: Little Events, Big Moments

NEW ZEALAND: Little Events, Big Moments

With no definitive family religion, it’s been one of my conscious parenting decisions to create and maintain family rituals on which my kids can hang their memories.

One that began five years ago, when my youngest was just over a year old, was sleeping in the lounge (family room) for a night. It’s one of those times the kids love, and I enjoy because they get so much pleasure from it. It’s a little event, in the picture of raising them, but it’s become really important for our sense of togetherness.

Last night, we had our first sleep in the lounge in our new home. To tell the truth, I’d been avoiding it. I’ve been working three part-time jobs for the past few months and our clocks have just changed to Daylight Savings Time, here, in New Zealand. Being a solo parent has been fine, but it requires a lot of concentration, no zoning-out hoping that someone else will share the load: there is no-one else around.

I was exhausted and in need of the best night’s sleep I could get. But it’s also school holidays and if it hadn’t happened now, it was unlikely we’d have it before Christmas.

2015 WMB Quote Karyn Wills

The boys were great, they organised a queen sized mattress for the youngest and I, and pulled out piles of duvets and pillows. The excitement level was high, and there were no complaints about wifi turning off and devices going away. The fun began with pillow fights and giggles, wrestling, cold feet being placed on the warm backs and stomachs of others and, eventually, somehow, naked boys and intense belly-laughs.

It was fun. Great fun. And I could feel the sense of comradeship increase over that half hour or so. Then I turned out the lights and called a halt to the shenanigans.

We began to chat in the dark. I told them anything said would be held in confidence and was not to leave the room. I asked the first question: “What scares you and what excites you?” My eldest followed up with, “What’s a thorn from this week and a rose from this week?” These were great starters, all three responded openly and age-appropriately. As did I. Then the magic happened.

I asked my boys if there was anything I needed to know.

Their responses to that were phenomenal: open, vulnerable, honest and real. Their authenticity blew me away and long after they were all sleeping, I lay awake considering what they had shared. It truly was one of those big moments in life.

And when three alarms went off at 6.30am I found I had slept the best I had all week. Go figure.

Do you have family rituals? Have you had small events that have turned out to be big moments in your parenting?

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Karyn Wills of Napier, New Zealand. 

Image credit to World Moms Blog. 

 

Karyn Wills

Karyn is a teacher, writer and solo mother to three sons. She lives in the sunny wine region of Hawke’s Bay, New Zealand in the city of Napier.

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MALAYSIA: Physicalness

MALAYSIA: Physicalness

He is relaxed, his head lolling slightly on my shoulder, mouth open just so, tired eyes finally closed.

I feel his weight, comfortable in my arms, all 15 pounds of soft baby and fuzzy hair, warmly nestled where he should be.

I listen to his gentle breathing, slowing, as he falls into deeper sleep. Only then, do I dare lower him into his crib, tucking him under the linen swaddle blanket.

I watch my almost-4-month old sleep for a few more minutes, willing him fervently to stay asleep. Quietly, I creep out.

Already, I miss his solid babyness in my now empty arms.

I joked once that with two children now, my arms will never truly be empty.

That is my truth, and a reality I love.

For no sooner do I lay the baby down for his nap, my toddler comes barreling into me, throws his arms around my neck and I’m surprised at how big he seems. (more…)

Alison

Alison is a former PR professional turned stay-at-home mother to two boys. Growing up in a small city of Ipoh, Malaysia, Alison left home at 17 to pursue her studies in the big city of Kuala Lumpur. At 19, she headed to University of Leeds in England and graduated with a degree in Communications. Returning home to Malaysia in 1999, she began a 10-year career in public relations, event planning, and marketing, working for various PR agencies and one of the world's biggest sports brands. After a decade of launch parties and product launches, concerts and award shows, international press junkets and world travel, Alison traded all that in for a life as a first time mother in 2009, and has not looked back since. Aside from writing for her blog, Writing, Wishing, Alison is the Founder and chief social media strategist for Little Love Media.

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Friday Question: How do you handle sex education?

This week’s Friday Question comes from World Moms Blog writer TwinMom112.  She asked our writers,

“How do you handle sex education in your home?  If your child(ren) hasn’t/haven’t reached that age yet, how is sex education handled in your culture?”

Check out what some of our World Moms had to say…

Karyn Van Der Zwet of New Zealand writes:
“We have always used the correct terms for body parts and been relaxed about being naked in front of our boys – including when I have my period.  I just answer the boys’ questions as they come up and we have a book called ‘Mummy Laid an Egg’ by Babette Cole, which we’ve read from time to time.  It’s been as natural and normal as possible and sometimes we say…that’s our private business…the funniest situation was when our eldest son asked to watch us – so he could learn what to do…” (more…)

World Moms Blog

World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children. World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.

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