There is a secret world out there; one, that unless you have lost a child, you would not be aware of. This world consists of blogs, forums, and meetings. Some of us call it the DBC. We are often too afraid to call it by its real name, the (dead babies club). Every day, a new member joins. Sometimes, a mother re-enters through another door with multiple losses. In the end, once you’re in, you never leave.
Walking into a room full of women who have experienced pregnancy and prenatal loss, it’s hard to see past their faces. Often, their faces tell of heartbreak, and sadness. You would likely be struck by how different each family’s story is. However, one thing remains the same, the impact that the loss has had on each family member.
Usually, I share my own painful story– my infant son died fifteen minutes after birth.
When I entered this secret world in 2009, I was unprepared. Sure, I had gone through a high-risk pregnancy; however, there was never any talk of my baby’s life being in imminent danger. Knee deep in denial, and heartache, I showed a brave exterior to my family, only to break down every time I was alone. I was so self- absorbed that I failed to include my children in my grief. (more…)