by Dee Harlow (Laos) | Apr 28, 2016 | 2016, Africa, Motherhood, South Africa, Twins, World Motherhood
I recently posted this photo of my twin children on my Facebook page with the caption “Where two oceans meet…” The double entendre was on purpose, albeit private since I only shared the fact that the location was Cape Point, South Africa, where the Atlantic and Indian Oceans meet – a turbulent mix of sea change and wind that nurtures one of the richest and most diverse floral kingdoms in the world. (United Nations Environment Program)
As I watch my children together against this backdrop, the second meaning hits me with a certain beauty and clarity.
How do I nurture the two vastly different oceans that are my children in a way that will allow them to thrive and flourish in their inseparable and sometimes turbulent emotional mix of differences and growth? How did Mother Nature do it in Cape Point?
As I reflect and take my cues from the natural environment around us, what I see is the ebb and flow of calm and storms, much like the children’s daily lives together. The strong winds that come can break each of my children where they cannot bend. On Cape Point where trees break from the wind only small shrubs grow, but those shrubs abound with nesting seabirds, small animals, and flowers that are hard as wood. Resilience blooms here.
Those same winds and storms carry foreign nutrients from far away that once calm, blanket the landscape with new and unexpected influences on the life that abounds there. Whether the impacts are negative or positive on the land, maelstroms don’t abide by what Cape inhabitants want or need. They either create rich and remarkable new species among those who adapt and embrace the new, or they can uncompromisingly destroy what tries to hide with futile resistance. Life always finds its own way.
The western seaboard of Cape Point is pummelled by Atlantic waves into jagged high cliffs that are hardened and worn and immovable. The eastern waves lap against a gentler bay that slope the yielding sandy beaches, although wayward and changing with each season. These two coasts are my children.
What Mother Nature is telling me is that life is not always safe and warm, that motherhood and nurturing for my children’s growth comes with uncontrollable forces that can either be seen as destructive or enriching. That while looking at this scene through either of these lenses and trying to focus on what will become of them is futile and indeterminate. I cannot see the future. I do not know how they will grow. All I know is that my love for each of them will always be as deep as their two oceans.
How do you approach raising two (or more!) different children?
This is an original post written for World Moms Blog by Dee Harlow, a mother of twins currently living in Lesotho. You can also find her on her blog Wanderlustress.
One of Dee’s earliest memories was flying on a trans-Pacific flight from her birthplace in Bangkok, Thailand, to the United States when she was six years old. Ever since then, it has always felt natural for her to criss-cross the globe. So after growing up in the northeast of the US, her life, her work and her curiosity have taken her to over 32 countries. And it was in the 30th country while serving in the Peace Corps in Uzbekistan that she met her husband. Together they embarked on a career in international humanitarian aid working in refugee camps in Darfur, Sudan, and the tsunami torn coast of Aceh, Indonesia.
Dee is now a full-time mother of three-year old twins and continues to criss-cross the globe every two years with her husband who is in the US Foreign Service. They currently live in Vientiane, Laos, and are loving it! You can read about their adventures at Wanderlustress.
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by Dee Harlow (Laos) | Sep 7, 2012 | Culture, International, Living Abroad, Motherhood, Relocating, Siblings, Uncategorized, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Well we made it to Vientiane, Laos!
As I typed that exclamation point it feels slightly anti-climatic after going through all the pre-move drama of logistics and planning, the emotions of saying good-byes, surviving the 36-hour journey across the globe followed by the trauma of transitioning into a new life.
And yet adding more than one exclamation point feels overdone after four weeks of being here and starting to feel settled. Things are starting to come together logistically and emotionally, which compared to how I felt upon our arrival is a world apart from where we began.
I can hear everyone asking, “So what happened?” “How was the flight?” “How’s Vientiane? ” “How are the kids” “Tell us everything!” – all the things I would be asking myself if I wasn’t the one writing this post. And I wish we could all gather around with coffee or wine or both and have a long long chat, a much needed mother-to-mother chat. A chat that would be more for me than for you because this move was TOUGH.
It was tough on me, tough on the kids, tough on my husband. The transition was tough, just like all major life transitions are tough whether it is a move, a divorce, a death, illness, new sibling – it’s all tough on the kids despite of how much we believe they can “bounce back”. Sure. They do bounce back but those bumps can be hard for us parents to take. (more…)
One of Dee’s earliest memories was flying on a trans-Pacific flight from her birthplace in Bangkok, Thailand, to the United States when she was six years old. Ever since then, it has always felt natural for her to criss-cross the globe. So after growing up in the northeast of the US, her life, her work and her curiosity have taken her to over 32 countries. And it was in the 30th country while serving in the Peace Corps in Uzbekistan that she met her husband. Together they embarked on a career in international humanitarian aid working in refugee camps in Darfur, Sudan, and the tsunami torn coast of Aceh, Indonesia.
Dee is now a full-time mother of three-year old twins and continues to criss-cross the globe every two years with her husband who is in the US Foreign Service. They currently live in Vientiane, Laos, and are loving it! You can read about their adventures at Wanderlustress.
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by Twinmom112 (USA) | Apr 16, 2012 | Family, Motherhood, Parenting, USA, World Motherhood
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss
I have often heard people say “God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle” or “things happen for a reason” and even “you may not understand it now, but God has a plan.” Religious or not, I am sure these quotes are somewhat familiar to you. How you chose to incorporate them into your life can differ drastically from one person to another.
For me, when put in a situation that I felt was almost impossible to get though, it was hard to remember these words of encouragement. Some would argue that because I hadn’t built my life on a strong spiritual foundation, I then had trouble finding comfort in these words when I needed it most. Others might say that my ability to “get through” a tough situation would rely mostly on the strength and determination I had developed within myself and that would then give me the courage to handle almost anything.
I find myself in awe of those people I meet or hear of that have been through situations that I don’t think I’d be able to come back from. In the scheme of things, I do believe I have been blessed. Regardless of the troubles I have had, I do believe that I can learn from those around me who have endured the unimaginable. When we open ourselves up to truly listening to those we meet, it is then that we can really learn something about life. (more…)
Born on the West Coast, my parents quickly came back to their roots on the East Coast, and so the “Jersey Girl” stigma was put upon me. I spent the first part of my childhood in Northern New Jersey – but eventually settled in Central Jersey, where I will live for the next 25 years! Even branching out to attend college at West Virginia University – I still found myself surrounded by “Jersey” – some things you just can’t get away from!
I was married at 27, and my husband and I transitioned from New Jersey to Pennsylvania. After building our house and getting acclimated to our “new home,” starting a family was definitely our next step. Unfortunately, we never anticipated the journey we would embark on. For the next 3 years, our introduction to the world of infertility was something that we never expected! Growing-up, I just assumed that when I was “ready” to be a mother … I would. Something greater than me had other plans!
After an intense time of highs and lows – we got the greatest news ever! On May 24th, 2005 it was confirmed – parenting twins would be the next stage of our lives. And so it began…I never imaged, for one second, I would be the mother to twin daughters! Today, like most parents, “juggling” is a word I use often! I attempt to “juggle” my full-time job as the Sales and Marketing Director for a catering venue with my job as a mother.
Together with my husband and our families – we make it work! I am so proud to be a part of World Moms Blog. I believe that the lessons I can learn from other mothers are invaluable. I couldn’t be happier to be a part of such a wonderful community of mothers!
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by Diana | Mar 2, 2012 | Body Image, Pregnancy, Twins, USA
I recently found out I’m pregnant…with twins. What was going to be our second child turned into #2 and #3. This is exciting, overwhelming, and terrifying, and yet part of it is me just being a tad self-centered.
How will I look after?
I’ve struggled with my body image as long as I can remember.
But honest to goodness, I remember looking in the mirror at 7 months with my daughter Bella, huge as I was, and feeling so confident about it all. The stretch marks (I got like 4 but don’t hate me – the hyperemesis I had made up for lack of them), the huge belly, the cave of a belly button (mine never popped. It just kinda stretched into a large hole…).
And this time around, it’s the same, but more. I’m having twins. So at 10 weeks I already have a noticeable (more…)
Diana blogs on raising a toddler daughter, the loss of her twin boys, and their families' adoption in progress on the aptly named Hormonal Imbalances, as well as Babble, Oreck, World Moms Blog, and Attachment Parenting International. She's been syndicated on BlogHer and The Huffington Post. Smaller glimpses into her day are on Twitter and Facebook, and on <a href="http://pinterest.com/lifeasasahm"
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by Twinmom112 (USA) | Feb 6, 2012 | Motherhood, Parenting, Twins, World Motherhood
“A twin is one of two offspring born during the same pregnancy.”
I truly believe that ALL first time mothers are overwhelmed. Do I think that one screaming infant might be a little easier than two … sure I do! However, the combination of pure emotion that new mothers feel, paired with a lot of uncertainty; mixed with a little excitement is one cocktail that is much the same.
Friends would often say to me, “I can’t image having TWO at the same time!” To be honest, I can think of so many situations that other parents have dealt with that I can’t ever imagine getting through. So where some moms may envy my ability to manage, I envy all the other moms for their unique and very personal experiences. We truly are the same –
I think many of us desire to make sure that our children feel special and unique and most importantly, loved. The task seems simple:
Show your children love, and they will accept it. Tell your children you love them and they will believe it. Remind your children how special they are, and they will embrace it. Sounds easy, so why isn’t it working? (more…)
Born on the West Coast, my parents quickly came back to their roots on the East Coast, and so the “Jersey Girl” stigma was put upon me. I spent the first part of my childhood in Northern New Jersey – but eventually settled in Central Jersey, where I will live for the next 25 years! Even branching out to attend college at West Virginia University – I still found myself surrounded by “Jersey” – some things you just can’t get away from!
I was married at 27, and my husband and I transitioned from New Jersey to Pennsylvania. After building our house and getting acclimated to our “new home,” starting a family was definitely our next step. Unfortunately, we never anticipated the journey we would embark on. For the next 3 years, our introduction to the world of infertility was something that we never expected! Growing-up, I just assumed that when I was “ready” to be a mother … I would. Something greater than me had other plans!
After an intense time of highs and lows – we got the greatest news ever! On May 24th, 2005 it was confirmed – parenting twins would be the next stage of our lives. And so it began…I never imaged, for one second, I would be the mother to twin daughters! Today, like most parents, “juggling” is a word I use often! I attempt to “juggle” my full-time job as the Sales and Marketing Director for a catering venue with my job as a mother.
Together with my husband and our families – we make it work! I am so proud to be a part of World Moms Blog. I believe that the lessons I can learn from other mothers are invaluable. I couldn’t be happier to be a part of such a wonderful community of mothers!
More Posts
