Guest Post: Life of a Mother, Married to a Cop

Guest Post: Life of a Mother, Married to a Cop

Three Decades With a Cop
Lalitha Sai and her Husband- Just Married

Lalitha Sai and her Husband- Just Married

Life was not easy,

Life was also not bad,

Life had everything,

Life did lack something,

Yes, this is the life of a cop’s wife!

Our marriage is close to three decades now. Back in 1990, (June 13) I did not know what I was getting myself into. All I knew was I had to be patient and have a lot of understanding with a grumpy police officer. He too warned me that life would not be a bed of roses.

Lalitha Sai and her family after 25 years of marriage

Lalitha Sai and her family after 25 years of marriage

But was he actually grumpy? Were there thorns? No, his heart was one that would melt with the warmth that glowed from within me. His spells of anger would fizzle when his eyes meets mine, full of fear of having incurred his wrath.

Beneath his hardcore exterior were streams of love in which he still bathes me ceaselessly. I bore him two precious jewels which he cherishes from the bottom of his heart.

But his call of duty was his priority. He was married to his job. There have been many a celebrations (marriages, birthdays and outings) without him. His absence has made us wince with pain, cringe with shame, and cry out loud for want of love. But, his duty had always been his priority.

Still, the man did turn the family livelier.

There were difficult times, best moments, lovable minutes and tearful seconds. But in all we were united as a family. To the best of my effort I tried to steer him clear of any family problems and tried to give him peace. But, he would not move away.

He has held our hands,

…in times of need,

…in times of physical pain,

…in times of mental stress,

…in times of illness,

…in times of delusions,

…in times of joy,

…in times of pleasure!

He molded every one of us to be independent and a leader too. He gave us all the space whenever we needed it. He taught us to focus on the good and not the bad.

Though there were times of regret about marrying a cop, I still think it is the best decision I have ever taken in life. For, he has been a real inspiration to his engineer son, doctor daughter and journalist wife.

In my view, I also think that though he had misdirected his official stress on his loved ones at times, he has always made it up with all of them.

I would be thankful if he can, to all his intimate relationships, give more patience and diligence and make them his priority. I thank God for making us a family and giving him to me.

If not for him I would not have known love, affection, compassion, interactions, build communication skills, leadership qualities and interpersonal skills. May God bless him with good health and mental stamina to take care of all us for many more years to come.

My wish, as always: Whenever Nature thinks it is time, let me be the first to leave so that I can welcome all of them one by one till they reach the feet of the Almighty. For I know not how to live without even one of them.

How has your married life made you feel, after all those years of togetherness?

This is an original post for World Moms Network written by guest poster, Lalitha Sai, in India. 

Lalitha Sai, Journalist, India

Lalitha Sai, Journalist, India

Lalitha Sai, is a writer based in Chennai, India. She is happily married to a police officer. Her son is an engineer in Europe, and her daughter is a doctor in Chennai. She has 25 years of experience in journalism and has held posts of senior editor in the leading news dailies of India, “The Hindu” and “DT NEXT”. She focused on women empowerment in her articles.

She is now working as the head of operations of content releases in a private company.

World Moms Network

World Moms Network is an award winning website whose mission statement is "Connecting mothers; empowering women around the globe." With over 70 contributors who write from over 30 countries, the site covered the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Most recently, our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan was awarded "Best Reporting on the UN" form the UNCA. The site has also been named a "Top Website for Women" by FORBES Woman and recommended by the NY Times Motherlode and the Times of India. Follow our hashtags: #worldmom and #worldmoms Formerly, our site was known as World Moms Blog.

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From time to time, I got questions like, “Why do you send your baby to day care when you’re staying at home all day long?” or “Why don’t you cook everyday? Don’t you have plenty of time at home?”

I just shrugged and said, “because I am a bad mom.”

You see, my little one started to go to day care when he was 3 months old. When my previous employer refused to provide breastfeeding accommodation, I quit my full time reporting job. I became a work-from-home working mom when my little one turned 6 months old…but he continued going to school. (more…)

To-Wen Tseng

Former TV reporter turned freelance journalist, children's book writer in wee hours, nursing mom by passion. To-wen blogs at I'd rather be breastfeeding. She can also be found on Twitter and Facebook.

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ISRAEL: Is Balance Possible?

ISRAEL: Is Balance Possible?

Greeting to my Family

I was blindsided.

It was Family Day, or Yom Hamishpacha, as it’s called in Hebrew. The day that somehow ended up replacing Mother’s Day here in Israel. My youngest was so proud of the card she had made for my husband and me. She had colored pictures of balloons, and had written all the words on her own.

I smiled as I read lines of “To my dear family, all the things I want you fulfill,” and, “I love my siblings and I’m happy to be with you.”

The sucker punch came at the end.

“I want to wish for health for all the sick people in the world so that my mom can stay home with me.”

Ouch. A heartfelt painful dagger to the heart. I was caught off guard. She had never said anything to me about not wanting me to work.

I work part-time, only three days a week. I’m a nurse in outpatient oncology. I do important work, fulfilling work. I work because my salary makes a difference in our finances. I work because if I don’t work, it’s that much harder to get back into it when you do want to work.

And yes, there are days when I wish I didn’t have to work. There are also many days when I’m glad I do work. Yet like every working mother, I’m constantly tormented by the demands of both worlds and with the impossibility of finding balance. I think the emotional and mental balance is even harder to find than the physical, task-related balance.

And then, when I think I’ve found that precarious balance, I get hit by innocent words, words pleading for more love and attention than I’ve been giving.

All I can do is accept what is, and try harder. Try harder to be true to my needs and to give those I love what they need.

The question is how.

Any tips?


This is a post original to World Moms Blog.  Photo credit to the author.

Susie Newday (Israel)

Susie Newday is a happily-married American-born Israeli mother of five. She is an oncology nurse, blogger and avid amateur photographer. Most importantly, Susie is a happily married mother of five amazing kids from age 8-24 and soon to be a mother in law. (Which also makes her a chef, maid, tutor, chauffeur, launderer...) Susie's blog, New Day, New Lesson, is her attempt to help others and herself view the lessons life hands all of us in a positive light. She will also be the first to admit that blogging is great free therapy as well. Susie's hope for the world? Increasing kindness, tolerance and love. You can also follow her Facebook page New Day, New Lesson where she posts her unique photos with quotes as well as gift ideas.

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NEW YORK, USA: Time away from it all

NEW YORK, USA: Time away from it all

photo by Elizabeth Atalay


As I sit in another airport lounge at 5:00 AM waiting for my flight, I am sitting here thinking about my children and husband who are at home, still fast asleep in their warm beds. I think about what I will do on this business trip that will take me away from them for two nights. I think about how will my 3-year-old react when she wakes up to see that mommy’s not there. Will she whine and cry, or will she jump into my mother’s arms, not even asking where I am?  My 6-year-old knows not to expect me when he wakes up.  I have only just recently started telling him when I leave on a business trip. Until then it was simply mommy’s working early/late today.  I think about the extra huge hug I got from him last night before he went to bed.  “Goodnight for 2 more nights Maman” he said. 🙂

My mom will show up early today, a little earlier than she normally does, to take care of the kids, as she normally does. She will bring them back to her house this afternoon, where they won’t even notice I’m gone. They’ll sleep over there for the 2 nights that I’m gone and have a blast. It’ll be like a mini-vacation for them… easy not to think about mommy or where she is. They will go to the park, visit with my sister and her dog (who just moved back from the west coast), play in my stepfather’s office, go to sleep late and eat delicious homemade food.

My husband will come back from work and watch football, order in junk food, lay on the couch in his underwear (TMI? 🙂 ) and drink beer. He’ll enjoy the bachelor life for 2 nights while the kids and I are not home.

I’ll be working. Visiting with and entertaining clients. Making all of their problems go away.

Sleeping in a lush king sized bed by myself. Sleeping “in” not having to get breakfast or dinner for anyone else but me.

I’ll have a large bathroom countertop all to myself, which I’ll spread all of my toiletries and makeup across and not have to worry about anyone touching or moving it.

This is the routine that we have all come to accept and live with as my occasional business trips take me away from my family, thankfully for only a couple of days at a time. It all sounds like a lovely staycation for them while I’m away. But when I come home, the kids run across the house and jump into my arms. The 3-year-old tells me how she missed me. The 6-year-old wants to hear about the city I visited, and want to know what present I brought back for him. My husband will say how he felt like a part of him was missing with everyone out of the house, and how happy he is to have his family back home again. Everyone will be happy to see me. And I will be happy to see them, to tuck them in and cuddle with them as I read their bed time stories.

Being away, and coming home to their bright smiling faces, their kisses and love reminds me of why prepping of so many meals, doing loads of laundry, running all of the errands – basically being the mother – is so worth it!

And the best part is?  I get to unpack, and repack to go away again in two days, but this time with my entire family!  🙂

This is an original World Moms blog Post by Maman Aya.

Do you ever get time away from your family (either forced or voluntarily)? How do you manage it?

Maman Aya (USA)

Maman Aya is a full-time working mother of 2 beautiful children, a son who is 6 and a daughter who is two. She is raising her children in the high-pressure city of New York within a bilingual and multi-religious home. Aya was born in Canada to a French mother who then swiftly whisked her away to NYC, where she grew up and spent most of her life. She was raised following Jewish traditions and married an Irish Catholic American who doesn’t speak any other language (which did not go over too well with her mother), but who is learning French through his children. Aya enjoys her job but feels “mommy guilt” while at work. She is lucky to have the flexibility to work from home on Thursdays and recently decided to change her schedule to have “mommy Fridays”, but still feels torn about her time away from her babies. Maman Aya is not a writer by any stretch of the imagination, but has been drawn in by the mothers who write for World Moms Blog. She looks forward to joining the team and trying her hand at writing!

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CANADA: Childcare Troubles

IMG_1574Childcare.  No word conjures such stress and anxiety in the mind of a working mom as “childcare.”  There are countless little things that can cause enormous problems.  Your child is too sick to attend.  Your child care provider is too sick to care for your child.  Your child care provider is late.  You are running late to pick up your child.  Never mind possible personality or caregiving style conflicts.

Stress.  Anxiety.  Too many problems to solve while juggling too many plates.  Eventually one of those plates will drop, and who picks up the pieces?

For me, just the experience of searching for a childcare provider for my oldest child was the single most stressful experience of my life.  I spent hours on the phone, calling centres, trying to be put onto their waitlists in hopes of getting a childcare spot.  I visited centres and caregivers, asking about programs, schedules, and meals.  It was harder to plan than my wedding, and as it turned out, more expensive.

In the Greater Toronto Area parents who hope to have licensed childcare for their child are told to put their child on waitlists – when they are about 3 months PREGNANT with that child.  You might have a chance at a spot by the time your twelve month maternity leave is over – that means your wait is at least 18 months. (more…)


Angela is a Special Education teacher who blogs about her super-powered special needs family. She has a 3 year old with Prader-Willi Syndrome and a 5 year old with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and Sensory Processing Disorder. The odds of these random genetic events occurring at the same time are astronomical. "When you add our typically developing one year old baby boy to the mix, you have a very busy household!", she explains. Angela admits to having too many appointments, too many school problems, and being generally too busy as she tries to live life to the fullest. Please visit her family at Half Past Normal for more of their adventures! If you want to connect to chat, you can find her on Twitter @specialneedmom2 If you are interested in Special Education policies and procedures in Ontario – or just some excellent strategies and accommodations – please check out Angela's other site at Special Ed on the Bell Curve.

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