Had she not been a patient of mine and had my eye not been trained to see the telltale insults that cancer leaves on a body, I never would have known that her life was anything but perfect.
There are people like that in the world. People who smile through the worst. People who bring light to others and who know how to appreciate every moment with a vitality most of us lack.
She was one of the special ones. A special person and a patient with whom I connected on a deeper level. I was there to help guide her, but she was there to teach me about gratitude, optimism, tenacity, acceptance, love, courage and happiness.
She was an inspiration and a joy to be around. How I hoped she would be one of the few to beat the odds of metastatic breast cancer. And it looked like she might because she never stopped planning for the future or living her life in the present.
Unlike other patients and friends of hers who closed off the world or shut down when things took a turn for the worse, she never lost her huge infectious smile, energy, positive attitude or sparkle in her eyes.
Except for the last few days, and even then there was no self pity, just strength and determination. She was dying, in pain and in and out of consciousness but still fighting to hold on until her last wishes were fulfilled. She wanted her 8 year old daughter to come and say goodbye to her so her daughter would have some closure and she wanted her month old son, born to a surrogate mother, to be circumcised in Jewish tradition.
And she fought with her body to hold on. She saw her daughter for the last time and as soon as her son was circumcised later that same day, she took her last breath and our world was left a little dimmer as the light and joy that was her was released from her pain.
My only comfort is that she left behind an amazing family. A husband no less special than she, a daughter, a son, a mother, 2 sisters and a brother who all loved her deeply and will make sure that her special light and her precious gifts are not forgotten.
Every person who had the privilege of knowing her will never forget her, because although her years on this earth were short, she lived them to the fullest in a way many of us will never succeed in doing.
In these heartbreaking days in Israel, as we suffer our own private losses as well as national losses we choose to make our own, I think about my patient and the 29 young Israeli soldiers who died in the prime of their lives while fighting terrorists. Their deaths are more than just a grave loss. I think that their deaths are meant to be a “living” reminder for me. A reminder that it’s not how long you live, but rather how you live those years that you are given.
May all the families who are mourning the unfathomable loss of their loved ones somehow find the strength to continue to live life in the way they did.
And now I’m asking you all, how well are you living your years?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by our contributor, Susie Newday in Israel. You can find her on her blog New Day New Lesson.
Photo credit to author.
Susie Newday (Israel)
Susie Newday is a happily-married American-born Israeli mother of five. She is an oncology nurse, blogger and avid amateur photographer. Most importantly, Susie is a happily married mother of five amazing kids from age 8-24 and soon to be a mother in law. (Which also makes her a chef, maid, tutor, chauffeur, launderer...) Susie's blog, New Day, New Lesson, is her attempt to help others and herself view the lessons life hands all of us in a positive light. She will also be the first to admit that blogging is great free therapy as well. Susie's hope for the world? Increasing kindness, tolerance and love. You can also follow her Facebook page New Day, New Lesson where she posts her unique photos with quotes as well as gift ideas.
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how do we live the years we are given???? try to fill them with love, with good. I know how hard you try Susie. I hope that you continue to have the strength to help others find hope and comfort during their darkest hours. Sorry this amazing woman had to leave this world. sorry for the pain. 🙁
So sad to loose someone so special.
I continue to strive to live my years as happily as possible. Unfortunately, there are times when life gets in the way.
Beautifully written, Susie. I’m sure this special patient of yours is smiling down on you. Thank you for this important reminder that none of us know how long we’re here for, so we might as well focus on the positive and uplifting. As you have discovered, often our best lessons come out of loss. I have no doubt that you are loved and admired by many. The profession you have chosen is certainly not for the faint-hearted! May God continue to protect you and all your loved ones. xoxo
We recently, just this week, lost a very loving relative. It was so sudden and so shocking. It jolted me out completely. We have all not yet recovered.
Yes, it makes me wonder how we live our lives. I remember reading this – “Live your life as if you were to die the next moment” … not in a negative way though. But in a positive way, like do what you ought to do, be what you ought to, and love everybody unconditionally.
I am sorry for the loss of your patient and sorry for the loss of all those who died in the war.
Sending you love and support, Susie, with everything you are facing. This post beautifully highlights the human spirit and power to shine. I’ll make sure to bring some of that into my day. XO!
So sad to hear that a mom has died so soon. I wish the best for her family and children.
There is so much sadness in the news recently — death by war, by Ebola virus, by downed airplane — too many lives taken too soon!
We recently lost our Granny, my husband’s grandmother. She got to see all 4 of her great-grandchildren together the week before she passed. May we all be as lucky one day!
Jen 🙂