On September 11, 2001 – the day known to the world as 9/11 – I was a year into my new life in Canada. My office in the west end of Toronto had a perfect view of the Toronto skyline, including the distinctive CN Tower, then the tallest free-standing structure in the world.
About an hour after I got to work that day, I got myself a cup of coffee and was walking back to my desk. A colleague stopped me and handed me a printout from the CNN website. It showed a picture of the World Trade Center’s North Tower with smoke billowing from the top half. My immediate reaction was that this must be a Photoshop hoax. When I realized that it was a legitimate photograph, I thought the same thing as everyone else: that a freakish and tragic accident had occurred.
As I scrutinized the picture, I heard a shout coming from the direction of the conference room. Someone had been able to get the temperamental TV to work, and we all spilled into the room just in time to see live footage of the plane hitting the South Tower. An hour later, we were still sitting in the conference room. We were incapable of speech; someone muted the sound on the TV because the frantic commentary of chaos was violating the silence that we all needed.
I don’t think anyone moved for about ten minutes. Eventually, someone at the back of the room whispered, “Oh my God.” That utterance was a catalyst for everyone to rush to their phones to call family members, pausing on the way past the window to see if the CN Tower was still there.
There was no question of any work getting done that day. We all spent the day on the phone, contacting loved ones south of the border to find out who was alive and who wasn’t. My parents called from South Africa, unashamedly relieved to hear my voice. Toronto is not that far from New York, especially to people watching the chaos unfold from the other side of the world.
After talking to my parents, I frantically tried to get in touch with my friends in New York City. By late afternoon, there were two people I had not been able to reach – Luisa and Jason. I went to bed that night not knowing whether they were alive or dead. I didn’t sleep. I suspect that most people didn’t that night.
Luisa’s husband emailed me early the following morning. As soon as the South Tower had been hit, she and her coworkers had been evacuated from their office a block away to some hall somewhere. Phone signals were jammed: for several hours, Luisa’s husband did not know whether she had been buried in the rubble of collapsing towers. It was almost midnight by the time she got home, traumatized but alive.
But what had become of Jason? At lunchtime on September 12th, I spoke to a mutual friend, Mark, who had commuted to work with him the previous morning. Jason had dropped his dog off at the vet on his way to work, so he was late. The two friends had gotten off the subway at the same stop, and then they had gone into a Starbucks for their morning coffee. With coffee in hand, Jason had gone into the North Tower, waving goodbye to Mark, who had to go a few blocks further. The time was about 8:35 a.m.
Eleven minutes later, the North Tower was hit. I tried to convince Mark that Jason could have left the building in those ten minutes. Mark said it was unlikely. Jason had said something about a 9:00 meeting for which he had not prepared. He would have been sipping his coffee and working on reports at his desk, which was right in the flight path of a hijacked plane.
I said to Mark, “I hope Jason got to finish his coffee.” People say the oddest things in times of stress.
The 9/11 memorial
Now, twenty years later, I reflect on that day along with the rest of the world. I think of Jason and hope he died instantly, with no pain or stress. I look at my two children, neither of whom was alive on 9/11, one of whom is on the cusp of becoming an adult, and I wonder what kind of world their children will live in. I look at the world around me – at the discrimination and violence that almost seem to have become normalized – and I wonder if we have really learned anything.
Poignantly, I wonder what became of Jason’s dog, the one he dropped off at the vet on that terrible morning. The dog is certainly not alive anymore, but I hope it found a new home, and perhaps helped some family get through the unspeakable collective grief from 9/11.
Kirsten Doyle was born in South Africa. After completing university, she drifted for a while and finally washed up in Canada in 2000. She is Mom to two boys who have reached the stage of eating everything in sight (but still remaining skinny).
Kirsten was a computer programmer for a while before migrating into I.T. project management. Eventually she tossed in the corporate life entirely in order to be a self-employed writer and editor. She is now living her best life writing about mental health and addictions, and posting videos to two YouTube channels.
When Kirsten is not wrestling with her kids or writing up a storm, she can be seen on Toronto's streets putting many miles onto her running shoes. Every year, she runs a half-marathon to benefit children with autism, inspired by her older son who lives life on the autism spectrum.
Final piece of information: Kirsten is lucky enough to be married to the funniest guy in the world.
Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Be sure to check out her YouTube channels at My Gen X Life and Word Salad With Coffee!
In a very fast pace world we lose connection with our true selves and we may become unaware of what really happiness means to us. Across my journey of growth and personal development I always came by the expression SELF LOVE. I remember very well the first time I heard this expression. It was twelve years ago, while studying coaching, in one of my sessions
with my coach she said “Love yourself” and I asked “How can I love myself?” but she didn’t answer and since then I am looking for the meaning of self-love.
We spend years running to achieve different goals like earning more money, getting a new house, latest mobiles, watches , cars, clothes brands but we may still feel that our happiness is incomplete, something is missing. If I ask:
“What happiness means to you?”; most probably I will get different answers about materials, other persons love, or achieving goals. They are all external ways or tools to bring happiness. While different psychological studies and spiritual practices found that happiness comes from the inside. It is within us we just need to dig deep to find it.
Let’s imagine two bottles; one contains crystal clear water while the other contains dirty water. If we pour clear water into the dirty water, does this latter become clear or does it remain dirty? It’s the same for us. Is it enough for a person with a lot of limiting beliefs, anger feelings, hatred feelings, and negative thoughts to be happy, lasting happiness, just because they got a new car or a new house? I believe it is a temporary happiness because later they will look for a newer car or a bigger house. Real happiness starts from the inside of us when we can discover our true selves and purpose in life.
Louise Hay wrote, in her book “You can heal your life” that to make any change in our life we need to accept and approve ourselves exactly the way we are. I went to one of the Heal Your Life workshops in Egypt. It was an amazing eye opening experience,it helped me see clearly that everything in my life depends on how I see and feel about myself. To continue the work after the workshop I needed to do some daily exercises. The first was to repeat the affirmation “I love and approve of myself exactly the way I am” 300 to 400 times a day for four months in a row. The second is to repeat the same affirmation few times a day in front of the mirror while looking in my eyes. In the beginning, frankly, I couldn’t believe what I am saying and when I looked in the mirror I started criticizing my face, my hair and how I looked bad, but later on these voices calmed down and I started to feel this love and its energy. It is real love. Last month I went to a retreat continuing the work of the workshop, and after several sessions and meditations I could heal my biggest childhood wound, feeling unloved and unaccepted the way I am from my mother; a very deep wound that prevented me from enjoying my life for years. Finally I could realize that the pain was because I couldn’t love and approve of myself exactly the way I am, now I feel totally different.A very simple action of self-love and self-approval can make a big difference in your life. Start today to repeat, daily, kindly and tenderly to yourself in the mirror while looking into your eyes: “I love you, you are beautiful, and you deserve happiness …” or whatever positive words that come to your mind and feel the love and happiness.This is how I bring more real happiness into my life. Do you have your own ways that bring you happiness?
Nihad is an Egyptian woman, who was born and has lived her whole life in Alexandria, Egypt. She says, “People who visited this city know how charming and beautiful this city is. Although I love every city in Egypt, Alexandria is the one I love the most.”
She is a software engineer and has worked in the field for more than twenty years. But recently she quit her job, got a coaching certificate and she is now a self employed life and career coach. She says, “I believe that women in this era face big challenges and they are taking huge responsibilities. That's why I have chosen my niche -- women looking for happiness and satisfaction. I help and support them in making whatever change (career change, life change, behavior change, belief change…) they want to bring more satisfaction and happiness in their lives.”
Nihad is a mother of two lovely boys, 15 and 9 years old. She states, “They are the most precious gifts I have ever had. I madly love them, and I consider them the main source of happiness in my life.”
Our inspiring mother in Egypt can also be found at Aurora Beams Life Coaching.
Who are the World Moms behind the posts? This is the first of many mini interviews with our World Moms contributors that we will be posting! We want, you, our readers to have a window into the life of our global writers! 🙂 First up is a longtime writer for our site, Karyn Wills of New Zealand. Let’s see what she has to say!
World Moms Network (WMN): Hi, Karyn! First, tell us about where we can find you on the globe!
KARYN: I currently live in Aotearoa, New Zealand. Previously, I lived in London, England for four years in the 90s, before Covid.
WMN: What language(s) do you speak?
KARYN: English
WMN: How many children do you have and what are their ages?
KARYN: I have three sons: a 19-year old, a 16-year old, and a nearly 12-year old.
WMN: How did you first connect with World Moms Network?
KARYN: I messaged Jen Burden to see if she wanted a contributor from down under!
WMN: Nice move! Jennifer Burden is our founder. 🙂 So, how long have you been a part of World Moms Network?
KARYN: Very close to the beginning of the original site. (World Moms Network originally launched as World Moms Blog in November 2009!)
WMN: How has your life changed since you joined World Moms Network?
KARYN: I’m now a solo mother, have been for six and a half years. I have my younger children 12 out of 14 days ,and my eldest full-time. But he’s likely to move out in the next six months or so. I work as a SENCo, basically the safety net for everyone at our local Rudolf Steiner (Waldorf) school. I live in town, not on the land. It’s practical, but I miss the bird song, especially in the morning when I used to have an absolute dawn chorus.
WMN: Karyn, that’s a lot of growing and changes! Thank you for finding the time to stick with us through it all. So, how do you spend your daily life in New Zealand? (work, life, etc.)
KARYN: I’m up at 5am to steal some quiet time for myself, if urgent emails and texts aren’t already coming in. We’re all out the door for school/work at 7:45am! Sometimes there are after-school hours meetings and/or after-school swimming for my youngest. I try to squeeze in some study time as I’m starting Hakomi Therapy training in August 2021 and then will begin talk-therapy training. I’m aiming to be a psychotherapist in six years time. The older boys and I share cooking & night time dishes, a few chores and then bed.
WMN: What are the top 5 places on your travel wish list?
KARYN: Back to Turkey and Europe; some of the Pacific Islands.
WMN: Sounds great to us! What is your best motherhood advice?
KARYN: Become trauma-informed and address your own stuff as soon as you can; if possible before you have your own children!
WMN: Wow. That is a great one! Tell us next, how did you get through quarantine/lockdown (2020/21)?
KARYN: We had a very strong (could only leave home for food, medicine, or for outdoor exercise within a close local area – nothing else, no excuses) but short (7 weeks) lockdown from the end of March, 2020 in New Zealand. We have been living normally, aside from overseas travel and tourists, since May 2020. I often think there are so many different experiences of lockdown that we often talk past each other because we’re using different reference points.
I baked a lot of bread and made pasta, and put on 8kg! I helped the kids to stay sane and tried to get some work done. My youngest and I walked every day to a nearby river, while the older two had full control of their schedules as long as they stayed polite, did their chores and finished all their studies, which they did.
WMN: Thank you for sharing your pandemic experience so far with us! It’s been so interesting to hear how all of the World Moms have experiences that are both, different and very similar, from around the world! Ok, next we have to ask, because WMN is always on social media, do you have a favorite social media platform, if any?
KARYN: Facebook got me through the last few years of my marriage and the first few years of separation. There, I also made a lot of overseas contacts who I like to keep up with as much as possible. I like Twitter for the politics.
WMN: Ok, here’s another question we’d like to know…what brings you joy?
KARYN: The usual things, I’m guessing: my kids, quiet time, my friends, dancing.
WMN: And finally, as you know, Karyn, World Moms Network contributors often align to support the UN’s Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs). So, we must ask, what SDG are you most passionate about?
KARYN:#3, Good Health and Well-Being. If we got this sorted, everything else would fall into place. Suggest everyone read Resmaa Menakem’s book ‘My Grandmother’s Hands’. Most of humanity carries a history of trauma in one way or another, and if we addressed this properly the world would be able to easily implement all the other goals. I also find it ridiculous that we have more than enough food but people are starving. I’m loving all the food-rescue programmes that are springing up around Aotearoa New Zealand.
WMN:And there you have it, folks! Karyn’s favorite SDG is #3, Good Health and Well-Being. We love it!! Karyn, thank you for taking the time so our network can get to know you better! 🙂
This has been an original post to World Moms Network of our interview with Karyn Wills who writes for the site from New Zealand. We hope you enjoyed getting to know more about a mom from down under! If you have any questions or comments for her, please comment below!
Tes Silverman was born in Manila, Philippines and has been a New Yorker for over 30 years. Moving from the Philippines to New York opened the doors to the possibility of a life of writing and travel. Before starting a family, she traveled to Iceland, Portugal, Belgium, and France, all the while writing about the people she met through her adventures. After starting a family, she became a freelance writer for publications such as Newsday’s Parents & Children and various local newspapers. Fifteen years ago, she created her blog, The Pinay Perspective. PinayPerspective.com is designed to provide women of all ages and nationalities the space to discuss the similarities and differences on how we view life and the world around us. As a result of her blog, she has written for BlogHer.com and has been invited to attend and blog about the Social Good Summit and Mom+Social Good. In addition, she is a World Voice Editor for World Moms Network and was Managing Editor for a local grass roots activism group, ATLI(Action Together Long Island). Currently residing in Virginia Beach, VA with her husband, fourteen year-old Morkie and a three year old Lab Mix, she continues to write stories of women and children who make an impact in their communities and provide them a place to vocalize their passions.
