by World Moms Blog | Sep 16, 2013 | 2013, Adoption, Adoptive Parents, Africa, Being Thankful, Cultural Differences, Discipline, Ethiopia, Family, Guest Post, Health, Humanity, Humor, Inspirational, International, Kids, Motherhood, Multicultural, Netherlands, Parenting, Special Needs, Uncategorized, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Sometimes I’m really weary of explaining. To grannies in the supermarket. To teenage girls at the playground. To fellow mums at school.
My daughter is clearly adopted, yes. She’s from Ethiopia, yes. She’s had a rough start, yes. She’s lost part of her eyesight, yes. And she’s got some countless more issues, yes.
But she’s still a four year old. And I’m her mother. I’m raising her my way. Just like I’m raising her big brother, who is blond and looks a bit too much like me.
The big difference between raising my daughter and raising my son, is that people seem to feel a kind of responsibility towards my girl. It feels like adopted children are in a way public.
I do understand how we stand out, in our not so worldly little town. We are getting used to the extra attention she brings with her, although I admit I have been thinking to teach her to growl when a stranger touches her hair and skin unasked.
We were prepared for all this. We knew we were going to feel like we have arrows flashing around our heads when taking her out. Now that she’s been with us for two years, we’ve all grown a thick skin, filled with humor. We have a series of catchy replies to go with all the ridiculous questions. The next one who dares to ask me what we feed her, will be answered ‘grass’, without even a blink.
But I still can’t really cope with all the unwanted ‘advice’ we get about raising her. When my son was little, I never ever had some stranger giving him candy or cookies. I never had to explain myself in the supermarket when I refused to let him take everything he wished for. And I certainly didn’t have to listen to people telling me how neglectful I was for letting him cry out a tantrum.
With my daughter, I do have those encounters. This one time in the supermarket, I was truly abashed. I had just taken away some nasty sugar bombs from my daughter’s hands and put them back, much against the little miss’s wishes. An elderly lady came over, took the candy and handed them over to my girl again. I was confused, believing she misunderstood. So I explained I didn’t want to buy that rubbish for her. At that moment she cursed me for being so horrible towards that poor little black girl that has been hungry all her life. She put the candy in my cart, ordered me to buy it, and took off while nodding her head.
At such encounters – yes, plural – I have the urge to scream.
For one thing. She’s NOT a poor little girl. She’s in most ways an ordinary four year old preschooler. She can throw the worst tantrums I ever witnessed, just because I can’t peel an apple while driving my car or because I can’t make the Easter bunny magically appear in August. The last one was about having only six colors of nail polish to choose from. Poor girl indeed.
But most importantly, I’M THE ONE raising that ‘poor little girl’. Of course we are aware of her issues, mostly the ones regarding attachment and anxieties. We try to give her everything she needs, truck loads of patience and care which unfortunately aren’t always replenished in time. But she doesn’t need everything she wants. Just like any other child doesn’t. Unless you plan to end up with a spoiled brat that demands a yellow sports car at age eighteen.
Spoiling her will not make right all the things she missed out in the first two years of her life. Maybe that sounds harsh and loveless, but I can assure you it isn’t meant that way. I cry with her when she mourns her lost heritage, when she is homesick. I’ve swallowed away rivers of tears all those times I had to explain her history to medical doctors and hospital professors.
But I can’t raise my daughter based on pity alone.
This is a first-time, guest contribution to World Moms Blog from our friend and mother of The Penguin and the Panther in Belgium, Katinka. Her Flemish blog is in transition over to an English-only blog. Stay posted to World Moms Blog for more from Katinka.
The photograph of the author’s daughter used in this post is credited to the author.
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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by Mama Mzungu (Kenya) | Aug 28, 2013 | 2013, Cultural Differences, Education, Inspirational, Kenya, Kids, School, Special Needs, Uncategorized, World Motherhood
In the US, people with physical disabilities focus on fighting stigma, on being viewed as people who can do almost anything despite of their physical limitations, and on fighting for the world to make appropriate accommodations in order to even the playing field.
In Kenya, like so many low-income countries, people with physical disabilities, children in particular, are fighting for their very survival.
A friend, who runs a school for the disabled here, recently told me an illustrative story. The man who founded the school was visiting a friend in a rural area and came across a disabled child who was tied to a tree while his parents went to work in the field. The boy was left with a bowl of food and forced to defecate in the radius rope permitted. The school founder, touched by this scene, made it his life’s work to make lives better and futures brighter for these children. (more…)
Originally from Chicago, Kim has dabbled in world travel through her 20s and is finally realizing her dream of living and working in Western Kenya with her husband and two small boys, Caleb and Emmet. She writes about tension of looking at what the family left in the US and feeling like they live a relatively simple life, and then looking at their neighbors and feeling embarrassed by their riches. She writes about clumsily navigating the inevitable cultural differences and learning every day that we share more than we don’t. Come visit her at Mama Mzungu.
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by Sisters From Another Mister | Aug 2, 2013 | 2013, Inspirational, International, World Voice
Upstairs in a quiet little room, tucked away far from the madding crowd – were four of the most inspirational women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. They came from far and wide, each with a story to tell, of lives we can hardly imagine. Yet here they were – ready to share and let us peek in their windows and see their souls.
Not too many of the thousands of women attending BlogHer 2013 even knew that these women were here, how far they had come, how they had poured their hearts into the words that had earned them scholarships to be in the United States.
So very far from where they called home.
So very far from the lives we often take for granted.
Every year for around 5 years now, BlogHer has opened a competition across the globe to invite female activists to write in and tell BlogHer why they should come and tell their story. An all expenses paid trip from wherever they may be to share with us sometimes the unspeakable, sometimes the heart wrenching and always the uplifting on how just one person can make a difference.
This year there were four scholarship recipients:
- Zeng Jinyan from Mainland China – both her and her husband, an AIDS activist, have been on house arrest, and she was listed as one of TIME Magazine’s Top 100 People Influencing the World in 2007.
- Ayesha Sultana, an activist since she was 19, her family from Pakistan and now residing in Canada spoke of the time her father attacked her with a knife at the dinner table as her mother did nothing.
- Jennifer Tosch, an American living in Amsterdam and the founder of black heritage tours, after she followed her mother’s mysterious past to Europe.
- Purnima Ramakrishnan from India is the writer of The Alchemist; Senior Editor of World Moms Blog; activist for vaccines, maternal health and the girls of India; and also my friend …
I was so very taken with their words, that it did not occur to me between wiping my tears to take even one photo. I have only this one of my dear friend and also the founder of World Moms Blog, Jennifer Burden and the lovely Purnima Ramakrishnan, side by side … but I could not love this shot more!
This is Purnima’s very first trip to the United States, flying alone and such a teeny soul she was taken for an unaccompanied minor. I hope that you visit Purnima’s corner of the blogosphere The Alchemists Blog – she has so much to share with the incredible work she does for The Gates Foundation, GAVI Alliance, and The Huffington Post to mention a few!
There were many tears shed during this session.
These are voices that cry out to be heard.
Their stories are of hardships, struggles, and loss.
But their eyes shine as they tell of what they hope for the future and about realizing their dreams.
Since 2009, these ladies who have received the BlogHer International Activist Scholarships have walked the halls of BlogHer with incredible stories to tell, of the lives they have led, of countries far away where politics reign supreme, democracy may never reach and injustices prevail daily. They make a difference in a world, leaving footprints of change where most of us have barely left an imprint. They need us to share, to speak, to join forces and say that no matter where in the world our fellow sisters are, we are indeed all sisters – a mantra so very dear to my heart, here, at World Moms Blog and in the community I am building at Sisters from Another Mister.
As a single Mom raising two girls in Boca Raton FL, my hardships are few. Sure my emotions are drained daily, but I never doubt that I can conquer my fears and rise to where I need to be. These women have shown extraordinary courage, they break barriers for women everywhere and their stories are to be brought to the light. As a Mom, I strive to be an example to my children. Writing for Shot@Life, working with the UN Foundation and a member of the Global Team of 200 because my heart feels the need, and so that my children can see that there is more than what they see in this plastic world we live in.
In the words of BlogHer;
Ayesha Sultana, a Pakistan Native residing in Canada, writes at Dance of Red to shed light on gender violence and sexual violence, and its wider impact on society.
Jennifer Tosch comes to us from The Netherlands, where she works to explore and share the ‘hidden histories’ of the African Diaspora throughout the world, many of the stories focus on Africa and the former colonies of the Netherlands, through her site and Facebook page, Black Heritage Tours.
Purnima Ramakrishnan lives and works in India, creating support and raising awareness for mothers and children through her personal blog and as one of the Senior Editors of World Moms Blog.
Zeng Jinyan was honored in both 2007 and 2009, but was unable to attend due to being under house arrest in China because of her blog and her husband’s work as an environmental and AIDS activist. (Her journey has been well-documented here on BlogHer.com.) Named one of Time’s 100 Most Influential People in the World in 2007, Zeng Jinyan was allowed to move to Hong Kong and can travel. We couldn’t be more excited about the opportunity to host her. Finally.
I hope that you look them up, that you follow their work, that you can know their names … and be proud of the mark that women are making on the world!
These women, they are more. They are change … and thank you to BlogHer for letting their lights shine every so brightly. They bear witness to my children, this next generation, and I pray they will raise the torch and carry it forward. So BlogHer ladies, if I may be so bold, next year, bring these ladies into the ballroom, let the spotlights lift their causes, let the thousands of women who descend on this conference feed their souls, take in the spirit of the scholarship winners and carry their energy home.
When we see what they have achieved alone, imagine what we could do together?
This – this is Life Well Said.
Thank you.
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by contributor, Nicole Morgan of Sisters from Another Mister in Florida, USA.
Photo credit to Beth Rosen.
Sisters From Another Mister ...
A blog born from the love of 'sisters' around the world who come together to lift eachother up no matter where they are on their life journey.
Meet Nicole, a transplanted British born, South African raised, and American made Mom of two girls living on the sunny shores of South Florida, USA. A writer of stories, an avid picture taker and a keeper of shiny memories.
Sharing the travels of a home school journey that takes place around the globe - because 'the world truly is our classroom'. Throw in infertility, adoption, separation, impending divorce (it has its own Doom and Gloom category on the blog) and a much needed added side of European humor is what keeps it all together on the days when it could quite clearly simply fall apart! This segues nicely into Finding a Mister for a Sister for continued amusement.
When not obsessing over the perils of dating as an old person, saving the world thro organisations such as being an ambassador for shot@life, supporting GirlUP, The UN Foundation, ONE.org and being a member of the Global Team of 200 for social good keeps life in the balance.
Be sure to visit, because 'even tho we may not have been sisters at the start, we are sisters from the heart.'
http://www.sistersfromanothermister.com/
https://www.facebook.com/SistersFromAnotherMister
https://twitter.com/thesistershood
http://pinterest.com/thesistershood/
Global Team of 200 #socialgoodmoms
Champion for Shot@Life and The United Nations Foundation
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by Susie Newday (Israel) | Jul 31, 2013 | 2013, Culture, Eye on Culture, Feminism, Inspirational, Interviews, Israel, Life Lesson, Music, Parenting, Susie Newday, Uncategorized, World Events, World Interviews, World Motherhood
When you’re offered an opportunity to interview the biggest female singing sensation in your country, you jump at it. Last month during the Israeli Presidential Conference I was lucky enough to meet and interview Rita Jahan-Foruz a singer known simply as Rita.
Rita was born in Tehran, Iran and emigrated to Israel at the age of 8. Through hard work and lots of talent she became Israel’s most successful singing artist. For the last 25 years Rita has had an illustrious career both in Israel and abroad. Her latest album “My Joys” is entirely in her native language of Pharsi. That album has become a big seller on the black market in Iran where it is forbidden, along with all other Western music. Some say that Rita’s album would go gold in Iran if it wasn’t banned.
I waited in the VIP room for the interview to start, and I sat there becoming increasingly more nervous as I watched other people interview Rita and a host of other interesting people who were speaking at the conference. I did chuckle a bit to myself when Weili Dai, a top female entrepreneur and the CEO of Marvell (herself an amazing, friendly and gifted woman), came over to have her picture taken with Rita. It wasn’t the photo op that made me chuckle, it was the fact that right before the photo was snapped both of them fluffed their hair. It seems to be a universal quirk all women around the world have before being photographed. I was also quite in admiration how both of them managed to be on their feet all day in their beautiful but really high heels.
Okay, shallowness now aside.
Right before our interview started, a young man who was a waiter at the event came over, sat down on the couch next to Rita and started talking to her. It was spontaneous on his part and graciously received on her part. It was only after I had tweeted a picture of them talking and commented on how friendly Rita was that someone tweeted me back saying that the waiter is connected to an organization called OneFamily (a non-profit organization that rehabilitates, reintegrates and rebuilds the lives of Israel’s thousands of victims of terror attacks) which is a cause dear to Rita’s heart.
When it was my turn I came over, said hello and introduced myself. I sat down trying to look put together, which I can tell you is not an easy task when you are lugging a knapsack, a telephone, a tape recorder, notebook and ipad.
Before I even started asking questions, I gave Rita a World Moms Blog tote bag that Jennifer Burden, the founder of World Moms Blog, had sent me to gift to her. Rita loved it, and right away started putting all her things into it.
I then handed her a little gift from myself, a keychain that said in Hebrew “Music is the language of angels.” She loved that too, and you could see that her reaction was genuine and not just polite. She right away pulled out her keyring from her bag. It had lots of keys and other keychains, including one with a picture of her daughters and she clipped my gift right on. She even proudly showed it off to others.
As I was about to start asking her questions, I blurted out, “I’m a bit nervous.” She looked at me in surprise and said, “Nervous? Really? Why?” as if the concept was completely foreign to her that someone would even be nervous speaking to her. That put me completely at ease, and the interview, or should I say more of a conversation, started. When I watched some of her videos later I was able to once again see her natural friendliness and charm shine through. This video of Rita recording one of her songs in Pharsi is a good example of her being down to earth and approachable.
I offered to do the interview in English or Hebrew, but Rita wanted to practice her English so we started off in English but moved back and forth. I could tell how passionate she was about certain subjects (which was often) because that was when she moved back into Hebrew in order to be able to express herself so much more freely.
Susie: World Moms Blog represents mothers from around the world. Right now we represent 20 countries including Morocco, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Egypt and many others. We write about motherhood, culture, social good, about connecting people through what they have in common.
Rita: Wow. Do you have a writer from Iran?
S: No, but if you know someone, we would love to have them on board.
I think that what you’re trying to do with music is what we at World Moms Blog are trying to do through writing, which is to bring the world together one person at a time. (Rita nodded her head at that.)
Do you see yourself as an ambassador of peace between all countries or just between Israel and Iran?
R: I think with my own existence I represent the Iranian and Israeli connection but I would love to represent as much as I can. I think that as women we have a unique way of connecting.
The male and female species are in essence two opposites. You need them both in the world, like Ying and Yang, day and night. It’s a little bit like our reproductive organs. The male behavior, like the male anatomy is surging forward, conquering, moving on with energy that is outward facing.
A woman’s energy is like our wombs. It’s meant to contain/include* and to embrace what there is no matter what. We first embrace and bring things close. We need to be able to see the strength in this, we need to influence and to realize that the place of “containing/including*” others is our strength.
It’s like a a mother who is always the center of the house. Everyone in the family comes and goes, they go a bit nuts. They cry but in the end they always come back to the middle, to the center and the nature of women is the center.
We are mothers and what happens to our children, and to the world they will inherit is important to us. We have to use our natural strengths of connecting to make sure we do what is best for them.
(*There is no great English translation for the word Rita used. The closest I got was contain but it is somewhere between contain and include with maybe a little bit of absorb.)
S: What would you suggest to women to do in order to empower themselves?
R: Not everyone can sing or dance or act or write books, but I think that each and every one of us can influence by connecting. One person connects with another and they connect with someone else from someplace place and so on. We all have to try to connect to others.
(Note: Rita is not only the best selling Israeli singer of all time, she also dances, acts and has published a children’s book. She received The Israeli Academy Award for Best Actress in 1989 for her role in The Thousand Wives of Naftali Siman-Tov, as well as the 2011 Best Actress award at the San Francisco International festival of Short Films for Ben returns Home. Her children’s book “The Girl With A Brave Heart” has been translated into English from Hebrew.)
S: That is something really close to my heart. That’s how I got to blogging, by connecting with other mothers though a forum overseas, getting to know them and having them get to know me. We were all from different cultures but we were all mothers.
One of the things which touched me was listening to you talk about how you got the love of music from your home and that your parents were very supportive of you.
R: They were supportive in their love. They didn’t understand what I was doing, going from class to class, learning acting, dancing and taking voice lessons. They didn’t understand anything about that.
S: But what I’m hearing from you is that they didn’t criticize either?
R: No they didn’t.
S: You have two daughters ages 12 and 21, right? Do you think parent/child relationships today are different then they were when you were growing up?
R: Of course. Of course. I think that back then children were not so important in what they said. They were children. Nowadays, we don’t look at children as children. They are much more important than us. We listen to them more, we are more attentive and sensitive to them. I don’t think it was like that back when I was growing up. Kids were kids. You ate and grew. No?
S: I don’t know. What I see is that kids these days are less connected to their parents than we were, at least on a daily basis. They have a lot more outlets than we had.
R: The world is changing. In this age of the television and computers, the “outside” world has more influence whereas once the “inside” world, the inner circle, had more influence.
I think that these days we give our kids so much love that maybe we spoil them too much. We are more protective of them than anyone was of us. Right?
S: I think that these days we have more to protect our children from.
R: Yes, you’re right.
S: Has fame affected your family relationship and your relationship with your daughters?
R: Of course.
S: In what ways?
R: I’m not talking about fame because fame didn’t affect anything. I am talking about not having the privacy to go for instance with my daughter to the beach. People constantly come and want to take pictures with you and you can’t possibly have privacy with your family and children outside of the house. Of course it’s something that affects you.
S: What do your children have to say about it?
R: I think they don’t like it. They are much more sensitive to people passing by and looking at them or photographing them. They are very sensitive to that.
S: Do you think your children feel any advantages of your fame?
R: Of course. They come to the concerts. They have a different type of life. Once, my daughter Meshi came home laughing at a question that someone had asked her. “What is it like to be Rita’s daughter?” She said I don’t know, I haven’t experienced anything else.
S: It sounds like she has a great sense of humor.
R: Yes, she’s amazing.
S: What is your wish for world mothers?
R: I wish for all us mothers to have the power, strength and wisdom to protect our children until they themselves have the ability to protect themselves.
I think that the most painful thing in the world is knowing that children are raped or abused and that we are not really able to protect them. That is what I am most sensitive to, knowing that somewhere out there, there is a child that is helpless and there is no one to protect him.
S: Sadly, things like that happen even to children who have people looking out for them.
R: It’s even worse when the people who are supposed to be protecting the children are the ones who do terrible things and do them harm.
S: Do you have one particular defining moment that you remember as a child?
R: Yes, yes. In Iran, my mother had a hair salon in the house. All kinds of women used to come to her. Once, a women who was almost completely bald came. All she had was wisps of hair. My mother shampooed her hair and while she was doing her hair she kept telling her you’re so beautiful, look how beautiful you are, you’re so wonderful.
I was 6, and my sister who is four years older than me was 10. My mother was working in our bedroom like she always did because that was also her work room. When the woman left, my sister said to my mother, why are you such a liar? How could you tell her she was beautiful? She was bald, she almost didn’t have any hair.
My mother then asked my sister, why do you think I was lying? My sister said, you told her how beautiful she was, what beautiful eyes she has, but she was bald. My mother then gently asked my sister, but did you look at her eyes? Her eyes were very beautiful.
And that’s the lesson I quietly learned there.
S: It seems to me that that is exactly what your book teaches, to look past the outer and see the beauty and kindness that is in each person.
R: That’s what I learned my whole life from my mother. When she looks at someone, first and foremost she looks for what’s beautiful in the person. That’s the way she sees people. That was a very big life lesson for me.
Every time I tell this story I still have goosebumps.
S: I find it amazing that I didn’t even know about your book until one of the other World Mom Bloggers told me that you had written one and it had been translated to English.
R: The book is gaining incredible momentum.
S: It should. It’s a great book with a great message and great illustrations.
(Note: The book is called The Girl With a Brave Heart. I read it in Hebrew and I love the many messages in it including the fact that people don’t always know how to ask for what they need and that we should let our hearts lead the way.)
Of course that’s when I pulled out the two copies of her book that I bought along for her to sign. I handed her a pen but she searched her bag because she has a special marker for signing books.
There is something so nice about talking to someone who is famous, who has performed for world leaders, who has bought so much joy to others through her music, yet still makes you feel no less important than she is. Maybe one day I will get to speak to her again because I really enjoyed our conversation.
I really hope Rita has unparalleled success in bringing people and countries together through her music. My wish for her is that one day she will get to perform in her native country of Iran, something that will mean that peace and acceptance has finally come to our world.
Before Rita’s performance at the UN’s main assembly hall, secretary-general Ban Ki Moon told Rita that many revolutions started from music and that it’s a place that politicians can never enter.
What do you think? Do you think music and musicians can help bring about change and be a conduit for peace?
This has been an original post to World Moms Blog by Susie Newday of Israel. You can find her positive thoughts on her blog, New Day New Lesson.
Photo credit to the author.
Susie Newday is a happily-married American-born Israeli mother of five. She is an oncology nurse, blogger and avid amateur photographer.
Most importantly, Susie is a happily married mother of five amazing kids from age 8-24 and soon to be a mother in law. (Which also makes her a chef, maid, tutor, chauffeur, launderer...) Susie's blog, New Day, New Lesson, is her attempt to help others and herself view the lessons life hands all of us in a positive light. She will also be the first to admit that blogging is great free therapy as well. Susie's hope for the world? Increasing kindness, tolerance and love.
You can also follow her Facebook page New Day, New Lesson where she posts her unique photos with quotes as well as gift ideas.
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by Purnima Ramakrishnan | Jul 23, 2013 | Casting a Wider Net, Economy, Education, Feminism, Government, Human Rights, Humanity, India, Inspirational, International, Motherhood, Nature, Purnima, Social Good, The Alchemist, United Nations, Women's Rights, World Moms Blog, World Voice
A couple of weeks ago, we featured a remote village, Piplantri (Western India) on the Gates Foundation. Piplantri is a model village, whose actions of change have been very well received all over India.
Aloe Vera products from the small scale industries
They plant 111 trees for every girl child who is born, create a fixed deposit of INR 31,000 (approx. USD 620) in her name which attains maturity when she is 18 years old and chalk up a legal agreement between the parents of the girl child and the government that they won’t get their girls married off before she is 18 years old. They also have Aloe Vera industries in which the women of the village are employed. So they have achieved MDGs #3 (promote gender equality and empower women), #4 (reduce child mortality), and #7 (ensure environmental sustainability) at one go. Today on the blog, I would like to introduce Mr. Shyam Sundar Paliwal and his wife, Anita, who were the pioneers of this change action in their village. Anita is 42 years old, and she got married after she finished her 12th grade. It was an arranged marriage and the couple were happy.
Their first daughter Kiran was 18 years old when she passed away. She died due to dehydration. That was the turning point in their life, and they vowed to make lives of others happy.
They also have another daughter Hemanshi (22) and a son Rahul (15) who is in 10th grade. Hemanshi is married and has a child, too.
The women of the village tending Aloe Vera
Anita recalls that when she came to her in-laws place after she got married, the first lesson she received from her father-in-law was to plant banana saplings such that they bear fruits during the rainy season and then plant mango saplings around the banana trees. Banana trees absorb water during the monsoon and transfers this water to the mango trees through its roots during the arid summer season. She says she has stuck to this piece of advice to date in her village and ensured that her villagers follow such age-old farming wisdom.
Anita, who is the wife of the ex-sarpanch (ruling political head) of the village, Piplantri, is a very active community member. She is a Zila Parishad Member (Elected person of the district council). Her husband has always been supportive of her as a woman and wants her to do her best for her villagers. He has never restricted her in any way. Though she is more educated than him, he has never been jealous of her, but has only encouraged her and furthered her growth and development as an active member of their society and community. She says, if only all women of the world gets a husband like Shyam, the women of the world will be better off and we would not be speaking of women’s rights here.
Shyam Sundar won the panchayat elections in 2005 and he says he first wanted the people who worked in the government offices to be comfortable. He installed the first AC in the office, brought in some comfortable furniture and ensured that people in all echelons of the society were treated equally. (In rural India, at times, the upper caste people are given more respect and sit on chairs, whereas the lower caste people are treated shabbily and sit down on the floor. Read more about the Evils of Caste system in India here). He said, he worked on the psychology of the ruling body to make them happy and comfortable. He says, only if they are happy, they would start working on reform measures and help provide for the remaining villagers. He, at his own expense, made the offices a comfortable place to work and conducive to provide better results.
He started small. In this difficult water shortage era, he diverted the waste water from all houses/offices towards the fields. Better water conservation was ensured. If waste water does not stagnate anywhere, there would be no mosquitoes and no dengue and fewer diseases. So, he solved primarily problems with simple, cost-effective solutions.
He installed drinking RO water systems in schools. Brought in furniture for the students and made the public schools better than the expensive private schools. People started flocking towards government schools. He raised awareness slowly and in a small way, which evolved out.
Mrs. Anita Paliwal working on the Water Harvesting Structure
He started rain water harvesting with the help of government. He built canals. He used the women of the village who were unemployed. To the left is a picture of Anita, who at times does not hesitate to get into the fields with a mean sickle. She and her husband were instrumental in starting the water harvesting structure of the village. In most of his welfare activities 90% of the employed are women and 10% alone are men. Women of the village have been blessed indeed to have him there, says Anita. In addition to 25,00,000 Aloe Vera plants, there are 10,000 rose shrubs which are also used in small-scale industries for toiletries and medicinal supplements. Women are employed in all of these schemes.
Mr. Shyan Sundar Paliwal and Mrs. Anita Paliwal with Anna Hazare
He started the Kiran Nidhi Yojna with the 76-year-old International Social Activist, Anna Hazare to ensure that no girl child is married off before 18 years old. This man who himself did not study in a college, ensures that all girl children in his village get a college degree. He also nudges the parents to get their girls married off in collective wedding, so that money is conserved and better utilised for other public welfare schemes or for their own savings. This scheme also granted government land to the parents in return for planting 111 trees on the birth of their daughter in that land, and tending to it to fruition before their girl child is 18 years old. On the death of any community member, the family is requested to plant trees again.
He says this again works on their psychology. The girl children treat the trees as their own brothers and sisters. After all, the saplings were planted on the day of their birth. And the parents get emotionally attached to the trees which came into existence on the day their family member was born or died. They then take care of it as a family member, and would under no means cut it down. He says, it is all in the hearts of the people. If people get involved with their hearts, anything is possible. He made people to get emotionally attached to nature and trees and the earth.
I learnt something new from Anita and Shyam that day – Ecofeminism. It is such a beautiful concept. Women and nature have been connected since time immemorial and this couple have harnessed it.
After all, he who was not highly educated could work on such things and make that beautiful village into a heaven, he says, the whole world could change too. And we would have no need to talk about the MDGs or uplifting of any downtrodden society/community.
When asked how he felt when his village was showcased by the Gates Foundation on their Blog, he gushed with happiness and pride. The district collector and Panchayat officials were so excited, too, he said. But his only complaint was that he could not get a hard copy of the magazine which he could show his villagers. He is so proud like a father, like the father of the heaven he created.
He also invites donation to his Kiran Yojna Scheme for the fixed deposit of INR 31000 of every girl child born in his village. He invites the contributors, readers and fans of World Moms Blog to make a trip to Piplantri. He wants people to embrace such change and for them to build upon it to suit their own society, and community.
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Purnima, our Indian mother writing from Chennai, India. Her contributions to the World Moms Blog can be found here. She also rambles at The Alchemist’s Blog.
Photo credit to Piplantri.com
What do you think about the traditions put in place to support girls and women in the community of Piplantri?
by Susan Koh | Jul 11, 2013 | Inspirational, International, Life Lesson, Motherhood, Parenting, Singapore, Susan Koh, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
I’m pretty confident when I say I have most things under control at home. But when it comes to driving, that’s where I fail miserably. I got my driving license 10 years years ago, and by right, driving to me should be easy peasy by now. But just like teaching a child to ride a bike, we all know that practice makes perfect. And that sums up why I’m so lousy at it because no drive equals no practice.
Over the weekends, I had to drive. Had to because my dear husband extracted two of his wisdom teeth and was feeling very uncomfortable behind the wheels. So as his wife, here’s when I have to rise to the occasion to relieve him. So I agreed to take over, grudgingly.
My little back seat driver was observing me and parroting Alexis’s instructions to me to slow down, drive straight, don’t turn so fast. Sensing that I was getting more and more frustrated as I drove, she told me, “Mummy, don’t drive until so angry. Just drive. Drive slowly okay.” In my head, I thinking that having her in the car is such a bad idea as she’s seeing the worst of me.
At some point when I have to manuveour between changing gears and the hand brakes to go up a slope, I nearly burst out crying and exclaimed exasperatedly at my husband and child, “I’m trying, I trying my best ok!” (more…)
Susan is from Singapore. As a full-time working mom, she's still learning to perfect the art of juggling between career and family while leading a happy and fulfilled life. She can't get by a day without coffee and swears she's no bimbo even though she likes pink and Hello Kitty. She's loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at A Juggling Mom.
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