by World Moms Blog | Oct 19, 2013 | Health, World Interviews, World Tour
It is that time of year again. The weather is turning colder, the leaves are beginning to change, Halloween costumes are being picked out, and there is pink everywhere you turn. Yesterday as I was taking my daughter to the park I drove by a large piece of plywood with a painted pink pig on it, 20 or more pink painted pumpkins, and breast cancer ribbons on the lawn of a local realty company. I am sure this serves some purpose, but it was lost on me.
October for me is always bittersweet. While I welcome the awareness, and messages of the importance of self exams and early detection, I am constantly reminded of the disease that took my mother’s life 15 years ago and of my own battle with breast cancer three years ago.
At 32 I was diagnosed with stage II B triple negative breast cancer. Life was good, my husband and I had been married for eight years, my daughter was four months old and my son was a few months shy of his third birthday.
It was a Friday night that I received the news that sent me crashing to the floor. A few days prior to my diagnosis my obgyn told me I was too young to have breast cancer.
Although I knew this to be untrue, I still found comfort in his words and convinced myself it was a clogged milk duct.
Two weeks later I underwent a bilateral mastectomy and four weeks following surgery I began my five month chemotherapy regiment. At the end of my chemo treatment I had genetic testing to see if I carried the BRCA mutation (a.k.a the breast and ovarian cancer gene). I was in fact positive for the gene mutation and for some reason I was surprised by this news, even with my strong family history. The reality then struck me that my children have a 50% chance of inheriting the BRCA mutation, putting them both at risk for breast cancer and other cancers including ovarian, prostate, and pancreatic.
Knowledge is power. Although my cancer journey has been difficult and it was very difficult to hear that my children and sisters could be at high risk, the knowledge that I am a carrier of the BRCA mutation has helped us to stay one step ahead of cancer.
A year following my diagnosis I had my ovaries removed to eliminate the risk of ovarian cancer. I firmly believe that if my mother had had that knowledge, treatment would have been more aggressive and she would have won her battle with breast cancer, before it became metastatic. I also believe that if I had the knowledge prior to my diagnosis, I would have been able to avoid my cancer diagnosis through a prophylactic mastectomy or at least been able to catch it earlier through increased screening.
I had heard about the genetic test in my twenties, but I did not know that if I tested positive I could have up to an 85% risk of developing the disease and a 40% risk of developing ovarian cancer. I did not know that I could have had a prophylactic mastectomy that would lower my lifetime breast cancer risk to less than the U.S. national average, which is currently 12%.
However, I do not live in the past. I have embraced my cancer journey and all that has come with it.
Having this knowledge will benefit my sisters and my children most of all.
We make life choices that promote health and wellness and I feel that is a gift I can give my children. One day, they will be armed with the knowledge they will need to make informed decisions as they become old enough to have the genetic testing.
FORCE, Facing our Risk of Cancer Empowered, is a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting families affected by hereditary breast and ovarian cancer through education, support, and resources. There are local chapters throughout the United States and in other countries including Canada, Israel, and Australia. The World Health Organization reports that in 2010 there was more than 1.6 million cases of breast cancer worldwide, making it the top cancer for women in the developed and developing world. Although BRCA mutations are a just a small portion of these cases, there are certain groups that are at higher risk of carrying the mutation. These are people with Ashkenazi (Eastern European) Jewish ancestry and people of Norwegian, Dutch, and Icelandic ancestry.
I am now the Raleigh, NC area FORCE Outreach Co-Coordinator and we are a resource for women in the North Carolina area that have a strong family history of breast cancer or have tested positive for the BRCA mutation. We have support group meetings and work with the local genetic counselors. I am very excited to help bring support and education to families affected by hereditary breast cancer and to make sure women have the information they need to make informed decisions. We need to be our biggest health care advocates and doctors need to get the word out on genetic testing and how it can save lives.
Pink-Tober is in full swing and I hope that we can ignore the commercialism of it (and the giant pink pigs) and focus on its real purpose. Early detection saves lives! If you have a family history, please speak with a local genetic counselor.
If you notice a lump, or any changes in your breasts, get it checked out and don’t allow your concerns to be dismissed by your doctors.
Too many of our mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, and daughters are losing their battle to this terrible disease. Until there is a cure, we need to focus on education, surveillance, and early detection.
To find out more about FORCE and hereditary breast and ovarian cancer please visit http://www.facingourrisk.org
To find out more about breast cancer in young women go to
http://www.youngsurvival.org
Risk factors for hereditary breast and ovarian cancer
http://www.facingourrisk.org/information_research/publications/documents/brochures-family-history.pdf
From the FORCE website:
How are hereditary cancers different?
- Hereditary cancer tends to occur at an earlier age than the sporadic form of the same cancer, so screening and risk-lowering recommendations for hereditary cancer may be different and may begin at an earlier age
- Hereditary gene changes and the accompanying increased risk for cancer can be shared by relatives and passed on to children.
- People with hereditary cancer have a higher risk for more than one type of cancer. In people who have already been diagnosed with a cancer, this may affect their cancer treatment or follow-up care.
- Specific screening or risk-lowering options are recommended for people at high risk for certain types of hereditary cancer.
Note: If you believe that breast or ovarian cancer runs in your family, you should contact a cancer genetic counselor, geneticist, or equally-qualified health care provider. These health care professionals can help determine your risk for hereditary cancer, inform you of available genetic tests and their benefits and limitations, order appropriate genetic tests, assist with insurance reimbursement of tests, and interpret the test results.
This is an original guest post to World Moms Blog. Katerina is a mom to Nathaniel, 6 and Lillian,4 and two labs Sasha and Dakota. She is a NJ native and recently relocated to Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Kat helped to start a young survivor breast cancer support group at UNC. She is happiest when she is enjoying the fresh air with her family, especially at the beach. Kat is passionate about nutrition and health. She feels so fortunate for every day that she get to spend with her husband and children. Every day is a gift.
Photo credit to Katerina Gmitter
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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by World Moms Blog | Oct 5, 2013 | Motherhood, Travel, Working Mother, World Tour
“From Technicals to Tummy Time: Inside My Decision to be a Stay-At-Home Mom”
Rebels, instability, armored vehicles, curfew, and no-go zones. Four short years ago, those words dominated my daily life. Fast forward to today and it’s diapers, infant Tylenol, Boogie Wipes, potty training, and “Dinosaur Train.” I think we can call that a pretty significant life change. Was it one that I saw coming? Not at all.
My husband and I always knew that we wanted to have children – definitely two and probably more. We were excited about traveling the world with them, raising them abroad, and teaching them about the importance of being open, understanding, and tolerant of other cultures. Our Foreign Service lifestyle was perfect for this. At the time I became pregnant with my first, we had already lived in Africa, Asia, South America, North America, Australia, and the Middle East. We were looking forward to the adventures that lay ahead with a family in tow. We could have a family, continue our careers, and introduce our children to so much of the world.
All the while, I could remain doing the very unique and powerful work that had defined not only my career, but me as a person. My role included participating in demining campaigns along the Mozambique-Tanzania border, serving as an independent observer in Mozambique’s local and national elections, barring Venezuelan drug dealers from entry into the United States, visiting and speaking with rebel groups and refugees in Darfur, Sudan, and being baffled – ad nauseam – by the lack of progress in U.S.-China climate negotiations.
I never thought much about leaving my career to be a stay-at-home mom. Before I was pregnant, a distant family member lambasted me for entertaining the idea I might continue my career after children came along – a judgment which deeply offended me (and still does). Working as a U.S. diplomat, and perhaps becoming an ambassador, is always what I had wanted to do. I didn’t believe working full-time and being a mom were mutually exclusive (and for the record, I still don’t).
My dad – a captain for Pan American Airways – and my mom – a flight attendant for National Airlines – continued to work after I was born for several years, carefully arranging their schedules so that one of them could be at home with me while the other was away. Why could my husband and I not continue our careers in the Service, alternating times we might need to work late to accommodate receptions and presidential visits, and raise our family in the way we wanted to? We could. So it was with that mindset I worked until the day I delivered my first baby. In the final weeks before delivery I worked until midnight, defining U.S. South China Sea policy – assured that I would be back to work after the standard three-month maternity leave period ended.
However, after the birth of our son, something changed for me – something visceral; something very basic. Once I held our baby in my arms, it became clear to me that no visits to U.S.-funded rural hospitals, Darfur peace negotiations, or U.S.-China strategic dialogues could convince me to be away from him.
While I had loved my job, my calling in life had changed to raising him – and other children we might have – in the best way that I could, making myself available to him as often as I could. I had changed my mind; my whole outlook on my career, and pretty much – life. I resigned from the U.S. Foreign Service and became a stay-at-home mom.
My husband and I were extremely happy with the decision, but there were many others that weren’t. My own dad called me a quitter and repeatedly voiced his “disappointment” with my decision. “I thought you’d be an Ambassador,” he said. At work, others tried to call my bluff. Why would I quit my career with the seniority I had accrued? That wouldn’t make any sense, right?
I write this not to judge others for their decision to continue to work after the birth of a baby – only to share my story.
I, so dedicated to work and ambitious in my career goals, chose to walk away from it all after our son was born. It was a decision that shocked me. It was not something I saw coming – not even at 39.5 weeks pregnant; yet, this was something that was crystal clear when I became a mother. I realize how important it is for parents to make their own decisions about work/life balance. Many moms, several of my closest friends included, feel the need to balance work and parenthood equally. I admire them for the ability to juggle both so beautifully and successfully. I also realize that many families cannot afford for one parent to choose to stay at home. To those families, I have the utmost respect, because I can only begin to understand how hard it might be to want to stay at home with your children, but not be able to do so.
Parenthood, motherhood, fatherhood – they change you. You might choose to remain in your same working pattern, but you will have become a more sensitive soul. You might decide that a Saturday trip to the park is far more enjoyable than dining at your favorite brunch spot. And you will begin to cherish sleep more than you ever thought possible. Welcoming a baby into your life is powerfully transformative. Things you never gave a moment’s thought to before become incredibly important – and may even change your path, and that of your children.
So, what changed for you?
Loren Braunohler and her family moved to Bangkok in November 2010. A former U.S.diplomat who served in Mozambique, Venezuela, Sudan, Washington DC, and Thailand, Loren resigned from the U.S. Foreign Service in July 2011 to be a full-time mom to son Logan, now age three and daughter Katelyn, age fourteen months. When parenting permits, Loren is a freelance journalist and regularly contributes to Travel+Leisure Southeast Asia, CNN Travel, and Bangkok Mothers and Babies International Magazine, among others, and guests blogs for premier parenting websites such as World Moms Blog. In 2012, Loren started Toddle Joy, an online blog and resource for expat parents of young children who are new to Thailand and the region.
Samples of Loren’s work are available on her website www.toddlejoy.com. Photo credit to the author.
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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by Sarah Hughes | Sep 7, 2013 | World Tour
“Stiches of Love”
I come from a family that rarely said ‘I love you’ with words, but nonetheless, I always felt loved to bits. My family showed their affection with handmade sandals, jumpers, dresses, skirts.
I wore them with joy, and they witnessed my climbing the trees, eating cherries in the yard, jumping over fences and sometimes bruising my knees. Now, years into adulthood and motherhood, I know how much love my grandparents and my mother put into stitches that held together my clothes because I do the same with my children’s things.
One morning my daughter walked next to me, focused on the day she was going to have, thinking about her kindergartens activities.
In her mind she was still singing, most likely. Earlier, when we were leaving home she was dancing to her tune; this fantastic daughter of mine. That morning she had decided to put on the pants I sewed for her. Every single stitch of these pants contained my unconditional love for her. I do tell my daughter that I love her, but somehow the magic of my handmade clothes cast a spell of love on her. The motherly spell of all the wishes I have for her. The clothes selected and made only for her, individualized, crafted for her particular needs.
Last month my mother came to visit me in California. She came all the way from Poland, and it had been almost two years since our goodbye before I had left to come the States. We miss each other like crazy, yet we always avoid public displays of affection and neither of us are chatterboxes.
Such a period cannot be easily covered with words, so we took out a sewing machine. I made pants for my younger daughter, and she cast her spell of love into the stitches of a skirt that she sewed for me. I am an adult, but my mom’s love is such that she will make a skirt for me. The prettiest skirt ever.
My daughter dressed her doll into a dress she hand-sewn for her. And then my daughter made her first attempt to sew something. I could see how deep the love goes, and how life through sewing made a full circle despite distance. Here was this 5-year-old daughter of mine sewing before she was able to write.
Just like me, my mom, my granny, and many other women in my family before us, we were all sewing affections into the net of life before our ABCs started to matter.
Love can be expressed in various ways, in my family we do it with stitches, there is no denying it, it is sewn deep in our veins.
How do you say your “I love yous?”
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Agnieszka, an expat wife from Poland living in California and mother to four children aged 10, 8, 5, and almost 1. By education she is a linguist in love with everything related to words in various languages. Currently, she is a stay-at-home-mom dedicating her time to raise good, loving, and smiling human beings. Being a stay-at-home-mom is a luxury she appreciates a lot and every day. Her family decided to move from Poland in 2008 to experience an adventure and see the different ways in which people live.
California is the second foreign place they have lived as a family so far. Agnieszka is a huge fan of sustainability; she loves upcycling, so whenever she can, she sews, knits, and recycles old clothes. The whole family is crazy about books and travel, except for their cat who cannot understand their passions, with the exception of their passion for yarn. She tangles every bit of any skein that gets into her claws!
She blogs in Polish about the family expat life, motherhood adventure, and her own third culture kids at http://silvallirion.blox.pl/html.
Sarah grew up in New York and now calls New Jersey home. A mother of two, Derek (5) and Hayley (2), Sarah spends her days working at a University and nights playing with her children. In her “free” time Sarah is a Shot@Life Champion and a volunteer walk coordinator for the Preeclampsia Foundation. Sarah enjoys reading, knitting, sewing, shopping and coffee. Visit Sarah at her own blog Finnegan and The Hughes, where she writes about parenting, kid friendly adventures and Social Good issues. Sarah is also an editor, here, at World Moms Blog!
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by World Moms Blog | Aug 24, 2013 | Adoption, World Tour
Ever since I was a tiny girl and they’d ask me what I’d want to be when I grew up, I always wanted to be a mother.
“An artist! And a Mommy!”
“A teacher!! And a Mommy!
“An art teacher!!! And a Mommy!”
As I got older and realized I actually had no idea what I wanted to be, one constant remained unchanged—the wanting to be a Mother.
I gave myself a deadline of age 26 to have my first baby by. Beyond that, I didn’t put that much thought into what my dream family looked like. I have known plenty of people, almost always girls, who had all kinds of things planned out about their future children. They’d have a boy and a girl, the boy first, or all boys or all girls or a one-and-only. And they always knew what names they wanted to use.
I had no idea what I’d have (of course neither did they, really), nor was I hell-bent on any particular names. I guess I kind of figured I’d only have girls, but I think that’s because I only had sisters and so I visualized families that way. How many kids? What names? I had no idea.
So somehow we ended up with two girls and three boys. We had a girl, we had a boy, we had a vasectomy. We had a foster baby boy and adopted him, and then when his birth mother had another boy and then another girl, we fostered and adopted them as well. Our family gets noticed quite a bit, besides being on the large side, we are also racially mixed.
Women in particular seem very inclined to ask me a lot of questions about my children. Many of them indicate that they have always been interested in adoption themselves, and a large number tell me that their husbands didn’t want to pursue it.
Then, an acquaintance asked, “How did you and your husband decide to adopt?”, and I had to laugh when I realized how little thought we put into it; especially now that we know so many adoptive families who have told us about the many hours of research and soul-searching they put into making their adoption decision. Ours was nothing like that. A book about adoption caught my eye at the thrift shop so I bought it. My husband saw it on the counter and said, “Adopting would be nice.”
Upon further recollection, it occurred to me that most of our biggest life decisions were made with very little discussion. Getting married? We can’t even remember whose idea it was. Having kids? Well I definitely had to push for that first one since I was the one who had given myself an age deadline for but after that it was easy. As a matter of fact, when the caseworker called me about our second foster son, I said yes to her on the phone and then remembered I ought to call my husband and verify that with him.
Naturally, he agreed in a heartbeat, because apparently that’s how we make the big family decisions around here—with our hearts.
This is an original guest post to World Moms Blog by Gina Sampaio, a lifelong actress and activist who lives in rural New Jersey with her husband and five children. She likes to challenge the notion of what being a stay at home mom means by not only staying busy with her kids but also with acting, writing, social activism and rabble rousing in general. Gina blogs about her daily adventures with kids, crafts and cooking, navigating a post-foster care transracial open adoption and the ongoing journey of surviving a sexual assault at www.facebook.com/SisterSerendip.
Photo credit to the author.
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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by World Moms Blog | Aug 17, 2013 | Belgium, Expat Life, World Tour
“An American Toddler in (not quite) Paris”
It’s 2 P.M. and my toddler is tuckered out and ready for his nap; and—let’s be honest—I’m ready for some coffee and couch time. However, there is one small problem; the neighborhood organ grinder has set up shop right outside our apartment.
Welcome to life in Brussels, Belgium.
There are obvious differences between living in the U.S. and living in Belgium; a royal family, socialized medicine, and Nutella encouraged as breakfast fare, just to name a few. But raising an American toddler here in Belgium has brought out some of the more unanticipated nuances between our home country and temporarily adopted one.
The differences between the U.S. and Belgium are by no means all negative. We will soon be taking our son to Paris for his third visit; he regularly has play dates with pals from Italy; Australia, Denmark, Sweden, Germany and Russia; and he’s a big fan of Pellegrino — all of which would probably not be the case if we were still in the U.S. But, discovering the differences between our old home and new one adds a little levity to the challenge of raising our son across the ocean from most of our friends and family.
It’s finally summer in Brussels, which means swimming—albeit indoors since it’s rarely hot enough to swim outside. Just like in the States, there are plenty of pools to take your kid to, but there is one difference that never fails to delight me about swimming in Belgium. Everyone, even your bald as a cue ball baby, is required to wear a swim cap. So out of all the things that can come out of babies and end up in the pool, people in Belgium are most concerned about hair. Très Bien!
The language differences are always entertaining. One of my son’s go-to activities while we walk around Brussels is to point out people who are wearing glasses, by yelling, aptly, “glasses!” as they pass by. This is all well and good, except for the fact that the way he says it makes it sound more like, “ca ca” i.e. the French word for ‘poo’. It’s probably not hard to imagine the looks you get from strangers when your kid yells ‘poo’ and points enthusiastically at them. Merde!
Once during a walk, a woman (who wasn’t wearing glasses, mercifully) said something to my son that sounded like, “mechant”, a French word meaning “mean or bad.” I was all set to spew forth my best French insults when I realized she had actually said, “il chant”, meaning, “he’s singing” and in fact, he was. Our little guy loves to sing and play music; so much so that we just might make an organ grinder out of him yet.
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Mindi, an American expat who has been living in Brussels, Belgium for the past 5 years with her rocket scientist/cycling journalist husband and toddler son. Mindi is a professional social worker, amateur cultural anthropologist and failing French student who loves Belgian waffles, mussels, and absurdity, and who misses American bagels, mint chocolate chip ice cream, and pragmatism. Mindi’s son tweets his daily displeasures at: twitter.com/Parler_Toddler.
Photo credit to the author.
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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by World Moms Blog | Jul 20, 2013 | Guest Post, Parenting, World Interviews, World Tour
Welcome to “World Tour” where we feature a guest post from around the world, here, at World Moms Blog. Today, we’re in the USA and talking gender roles with father, Scott, from the blog, Three Five Zero.
There was a time in America when the color of your skin determined which schools you could go to, where you sat on a city bus and what careers you could choose, among many other things. That time long ago passed.
There was a time in America when your gender determined whether or not you could vote, among other things. That time long ago passed.
There is still a large part of our population that believes that only certain genders of parents can do certain things, and that some genders can’t do some things at all. Only Dads can be little league coaches. Only Moms can go bra and panty shopping. Dads can’t soothe babies. Moms can’t do their own home improvements. I really want this time to pass.
I happen to be a single dad, and because I am a single dad, I learned to do things I never imagined I would need to do. Bras and panties, for example. I’m an expert, and I don’t really care who dislikes my presence in those departments in the clothing stores. My kid needs them.
I used to be very self conscious in those situations. Not anymore… I go get what I need, and I don’t even pay attention to who else is there, or whether or not they notice me. Just like picking up a gallon of milk.
I know lots of single moms, too. Want to meet guys? Go to your favorite home improvement store. Men are likely to offer you help whether you need it or not. I’m happy to help anyone who asks for help. I won’t offer help based on any assumptions about what tasks your gender makes you capable, or incapable, of. I’ll assume you know what milk you’re buying, too, whether you’re male or female. If you don’t ask for my help, I’ll assume you’re able to paint your kid’s bedroom all by yourself.
This list of examples could go on and on and on. In fact, I hope you’ll leave comments regarding your (least?) favorite story about something another parent assumed you couldn’t do just because you were Mom or Dad. I’ll chuckle along with you, and if the story is topped with enough sexism, I’ll get just as annoyed as you were when it happened.
When my kids are grown, I hope that all of these archaic stereotypes have long passed. I hope that they raise kids in a family unit of some sort, but if either of them ends up raising kids on their own, Grandpa Scott will be there to hack away at those gender biases and stereotypes, along with any that might still exist about what grandparents can or can’t do!
Family comes in all shapes and sizes. Do kids need both male and female influences? I absolutely believe they do. If you’re a good parent, you’ll make good choices about who those influences will be, and it will all work out just fine in the end. It doesn’t matter whether you’re Dad or Mom. Good parents do whatever their kids need them to. Period.
Help me out? The next time you see a single mom or a single dad, look at them differently. Think about any assumptions you had about him or her the moment you saw them. Then erase those assumptions from your thought process forever. Look at him or her as a parent, and only a parent, and assume he or she is a very good one unless you know otherwise.
Do you have a favorite story about something another parent assumed you couldn’t do just because you were Mom or Dad?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog. Scott is a single dad. He didn’t plan it that way, but he did rise to the occasion. You can find Scott blogging at www.ThreeFiveZero.com
Photo credit to the author.
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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