by Karyn Wills | Jun 23, 2014 | 2014, Awareness, Being Thankful, Brothers, Childhood, Culture, Education, Eye on Culture, Kids, Multicultural, Music, Nature, New Zealand, School, Siblings, Traditions, World Motherhood
It’s mid-winter in New Zealand. The air is crisper than I’ve felt it for a while, the leaves have pretty much fallen and we have had the shortest day of the year.
This week also saw the appearance of the star cluster, Matariki, (The Pleiades), which heralds the Maori New Year.
This was not a festival I had ever heard of growing up but it has been revised and reinstated and there are now celebrations being held all around New Zealand. While different tribes traditionally celebrated Matariki in their own fashion, now it is universally marked by the new moon and rising of the Matariki star cluster with festivities running from 1st June to 30th July.
Traditionally, Matariki was a time of celebration, important for navigation and the timing of the seasons. It was particularly relevant to the preparation of the ground for the upcoming growing season and offerings to the gods, and specifically, Rongo, the Maori god of cultivated food.
Only a few New Zealand schools consistently mark mid-winter and Matariki but for our boys’ school, festivals are an important part of the culture and I have two mid-winter events to attend this coming week.
On Wednesday evening, my youngest son has a lantern walk through a public garden. Imagine a waterfall and a large pond with a bridge over it and a stream running throughout. Imagine 30 or so small (3-6 year-old) children clutching a paper lantern with a candle in one hand and a parent’s hand in the other as we meander through the park in, otherwise, pitch black. We will wander past tiny grottos of handmade gnomes and crystals, we will attempt to sing (although for the children, it’s enough that they manage to walk and stay upright!) and we finish gathered together, munching on a star shaped, ginger or shortbread biscuit.
On Thursday evening, my older sons have their mid-winter festival, beginning with a shadow play performed by their teachers. After the play, the children who are between 10 and 14 gather in small groups amongst the trees at school and the youngest children, guided by their lanterns and teachers, meander from group to group and hear the older children entertain them with a song, or a poem or a tune. The 10 year-olds then follow behind the youngest to see the older children’s performances and the 11 year-olds follow them, and so on. They will finish with their classmates and a biscuit and warm drink.
The magic in these events is heart-warming and the children just seem to absorb the atmosphere; they appreciate the small snippets of light amongst the darkness, the companionship, the quiet musicality of the ’entertainment’ and especially the sharing of food at the end! (So do I.)
Do you celebrate mid-summer and mid-winter? How do schools where you live mark these seasonal events?
Sources: NZ Ministry of Culture and Heritage; Wikipedia
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by our writer and mother of three boys in New Zealand, Karyn Van Der Zwet.
The image used in this post is credited to Wikipedia images with editing from Dayne Laird (Ministry for Culture and Heritage, NZ)
Karyn is a teacher, writer and solo mother to three sons. She lives in the sunny wine region of Hawke’s Bay, New Zealand in the city of Napier.
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by Ewa Samples | Jun 20, 2014 | 2014, Awareness, Environment, Family, Health, Human Rights, Humanity, Inspirational, Motherhood, Parenting, Polish Mom Photographer, Safety, USA, World Motherhood
Four years ago I bought my last body lotion and body wash. Two years ago, for several months I went “no-poo”. Around that time I also threw all my deodorants in a trash can.
The only thing I have gotten back to is the shampoo. I do, though, try to make it myself every now and then. The rest of the cosmetics are not very welcome on my bathroom shelf, unless I make them myself.
Because of that, I normally try to stay on top of situations in which I may run out of something (and also because I simply refuse to use the toiletries that are on my husband’s shelf in the bathroom). Funny thing is that he has way more “beauty products” than I do, and he does not have a lot of them, compared to most people.
… but one day it happened, I ran out of my shampoo…
Luckily it was a shopping day. Happy that I didn’t actually have to make an extra trip to the grocery store just to get a shampoo, with my greasy hair tied in a ponytail, I left the house. Because it was pretty late, and we were pretty exhausted from a busy day, we had decided we were going to stop by only one store, not two, like we normally do. (more…)
Ewa was born, and raised in Poland. She graduated University with a master's degree in Mass-Media Education. This daring mom hitchhiked from Berlin, Germany through Switzerland and France to Barcelona, Spain and back again!
She left Poland to become an Au Pair in California and looked after twins of gay parents for almost 2 years. There, she met her future husband through Couch Surfing, an international non-profit network that connects travelers with locals.
Today she enjoys her life one picture at a time. She runs a photography business in sunny California and document her daughters life one picture at a time.
You can find this artistic mom on her blog, Ewa Samples Photography, on Twitter @EwaSamples or on Facebook!
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by Patricia Cuyugan (Philippines) | Jun 19, 2014 | 2014, Parenting, World Motherhood
My son and his cousins!
Yes, it’s true. My 8-year old son and I recently had a conversation about his being an only child and the prospect of him having siblings in the near future. And, well, this was the response that I received from him:
No, Mommy, I don’t want any siblings.
To be honest, I have been asked several times why I still only have one child. It’s been asked so often that I already have a set of predetermined answers that I use, depending on who I am speaking with.
“Maybe eventually, when we get our own place, we can have another kid.”
“We live in one room. The only space I have left to put a crib in is the bathroom.”
“Oh, it’s so expensive raising a child! And I’m already going nuts with just one.”
“Someday.”
“Maybe I haven’t gotten pregnant because I have yet to lose the baby weight from my last pregnancy. Oh, and yes, I know it’s been eight years.”
And the list goes on and on. There are days, though, when I ask myself if it’s time. My husband and I talked about it, too, on more than one occasion. We both agree that if it’s meant to be, it will happen. We also are on the same page in thinking that we should focus on raising our son, instead of dwelling on what may come into our lives in the future.
He’s the only one, but he sure isn’t lonely.
One of the things I am often told is that I should give my son someone to play with. And yes, it’s put in exactly those words, as if having one more kid was as simple as buying a toy from the store. I know for a fact that the age gap between my son and any baby that we might eventually have is too big for them to truly become playmates. I would know because my sister and I were born six years apart, and it was already difficult to relate to each other growing up. With the at least nine-year gap we are looking at, at this point, getting pregnant in order for my son to have a playmate isn’t exactly a compelling reason.
Fortunately, fate has made up for his lack of siblings with a surplus of cousins, who are also about his age. Between my cousins and I, we have five small boys, and they get see each other quite often. One is even in the same school and grade level as my son. We also recently made friends with some of our neighbors who have young boys at home, and so playdates are fun for us both. The mommies get to chitchat while the kids run around and be kids together.
And just recently, our family was blessed with a vacation getaway together with fellow World Moms Blog contributor, Tina and her family!
Her son and mine became friends in an instant, and that trip was definitely one of the most memorable yet. Yes, he may be the only one, but he sure isn’t alone.
World Mom Contributors Tina Santiago-Rodriguez and Mrs. C. on vacation together in the Philippines!
Don’t worry baby, I’m happy with just you.
I am very content being mom to just one child.
There are definite perks to having a small family. I get to focus on my child 100% each and every time. And because my attention is all on him, I can see so clearly what an awesome kid he has turned out to be. He has become very close to both his dad and I. He is growing up to be independent, secure and confident. He knows how to keep himself occupied and entertained, and without gadgets at that. He is excited about making new friends and spending time with them. He loves hanging out with his parents, grandparents, aunts and uncle.
I know that being able to care for him myself, with the help of family, of course, has played such a big role in his development. I, honestly, can’t say if it would have been the same with more kids at home, but there’s really no reason to dwell on what might have been. For now, I am happy with just the opportunity to be a mom and to raise a child. And in the future, if it’s meant to be, I know that I will be the most excited over having more.
How about you, how many kids do you have? Parents with only one child, does your kid look forward to having siblings? And to the moms with several children, how has having siblings helped your child in his growth and development?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Mrs. C of “Mrs. C’s Sugarcoated Life” in the Philippines.
Photo credit to the author.
Patricia Cuyugan is a wife, mom, cat momma, and a hands-on homemaker from Manila, whose greatest achievement is her pork adobo. She has been writing about parenting for about as long as she’s been a parent, which is just a little over a decade. When she’s not writing, you can usually find her reading a book, binge-watching a K-drama series, or folding laundry. She really should be writing, though! Follow her homemaking adventures on Instagram at @patriciacuyugs.
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by Nihad | Jun 18, 2014 | 2014, Awareness, Egypt, Husband, Me-Time, Motherhood, Parenting, Relationships, Single Mother, Womanhood, Working Mother, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
My swim coach is in her mid to late twenties and she’s engaged to be married. On several occasions, I’ve noticed from the way she talks, that she does not seem to be happy in her relationship. Today, I didn’t see her engagement ring on her finger so I asked her about it. She said she had taken it off because she was afraid of losing it in the swimming pool.
I mentioned that I thought she had broken up and she confided that she had been on the verge of doing so the day before. She looked so sad and I understand how she feels. She is desperate and disappointed, she loved her fiancé but as he doesn’t show his love she said that she doesn’t feel anything for him anymore and she believes that sooner or later the relationship will be over.
I found myself telling her to think only about her happiness and about making herself the first priority in her life, that she must stop being the only one to give and that she has the right to receive. I expressed concern that by being the only one giving in a relationship, she may find herself, after a few years, frustrated, disappointed and unable to give anymore.
While talking to her, I found myself thinking about how women in my community, as well as in many other communities, grow up with the belief that a woman is created to only give. Everybody around her expects to receive yet no one thinks about what she needs or that she even has needs that must be met. A woman’s role is to make everybody happy even if she is not. Her husband, her children and even her parents expect a lot from her but no one cares about what she expects.
For many long years, I lived with the people surrounding me expecting too much from me. I was giving so much but at a certain point I could not go any farther. I could not accept the idea of burning myself for others while nobody thought about me. My reaction was a little bit aggressive. I could not bear anymore the idea of being a good girl, good wife and good mother.
Being good to my parents meant being obedient to my mother even if she was intruding on my personal life and imposing her beliefs as to what I need to do and what I should not do. Being good to my husband meant I had to take responsibility for everything, take care of his needs, be kind to him, work, and take care of the house all the while never having my needs met. Being a good mother meant taking care of the kids’ needs, studies, training and entertainment.
You may ask why my husband didn’t do his share in all of this? The answer is that we have different values and backgrounds so he always said that none of those things are his priorities, so if I wanted them I had to do it myself. For years I did, but after nine years I exploded and that was a turning point in my life. I got divorced and I lived, as a single mom, with my kids, for five years. Those years were the transformation years.
I finally realized what my mistake was. I was not making myself a priority. I was allowing everybody to make decisions for me. I was not happy yet I was expected to make others happy. I never thought about my needs, I was only focusing on the needs of my family. I reached a point where I couldn’t give love anymore. How could I do that with my emotional tank empty? To give love to others you need to get your emotional tank refilled. Only then will you be able to give love to everybody around you.
It took me years and I’m still working on it, learning to constantly refill my emotional tank from different resources in order to be able to give . That’s exactly what I told my lovely and kind swimming coach in my conversation with her today. Get your emotional tank refilled, do your best to find your own satisfaction and fulfillment. Do whatever you can to make yourself happy. Only then will you be able to give love to others . You will feel happy even if you don’t receive love from others because you already have your tank refilled.
I really sympathize with women in my community because they are taught lies about what it means to be a good wife and good mother and they believe it. They live internally unhappy but do not dare to object or ask for what they need. They feel that they must accept what they’re given. They are looking for approval from others and they are afraid to reject the beliefs they were bought up on.
What beliefs in your community hurt women’s well being yet they don’t dare to reject them?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Nihad from Alexandria, Egypt. Nihad blogs at Aurora Beams Life Coaching.
Image courtesy of “Young Woman Under Depression” by David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Nihad is an Egyptian woman, who was born and has lived her whole life in Alexandria, Egypt. She says, “People who visited this city know how charming and beautiful this city is. Although I love every city in Egypt, Alexandria is the one I love the most.”
She is a software engineer and has worked in the field for more than twenty years. But recently she quit her job, got a coaching certificate and she is now a self employed life and career coach. She says, “I believe that women in this era face big challenges and they are taking huge responsibilities. That's why I have chosen my niche -- women looking for happiness and satisfaction. I help and support them in making whatever change (career change, life change, behavior change, belief change…) they want to bring more satisfaction and happiness in their lives.”
Nihad is a mother of two lovely boys, 15 and 9 years old. She states, “They are the most precious gifts I have ever had. I madly love them, and I consider them the main source of happiness in my life.”
Our inspiring mother in Egypt can also be found at Aurora Beams Life Coaching.
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by Katinka | Jun 16, 2014 | 2014, Awareness, Belgium, Death and Dying, Government, Health, Hospital, Human Rights, Life Lesson, Loss of Child, Motherhood, Parenting, Penguin and Panther, Politics, World Motherhood
I’m going to ask you all to journey with me into an imaginary world. A parallel universe if you will. This world bears some similarity with the one of H.G Wells’ Eloi from his book The Time Machine. And possibly something from Suzanne Collins’ Hunger Games as well.
It’s a nice world to live in, really. You are relatively happy there. You get to spend a great deal of time with your child and you generally feel fulfilled. There is this small matter of the alien usurpers that govern the world but in daily life, you don’t even notice them. Afterall, they did manage to rule out world hunger and poverty, so at times you are even grateful to them.
Every once in a while, however, the aliens impose their Lottery. It is a constant little threat that buzzes at a corner of your head. The Lottery picks out subjects at random, which are then summoned to the alien High Office. No one really knows what happens there but everyone agrees it’s nasty. Sometimes the subjects are adults, sometimes children. Even babies don’t escape the Lottery. But it has never happened to you or anyone you know. So, you are quite comfortable and don’t even mind following the Lottery outcomes.
Until that fatal Lottery Day. You don’t even know your child’s name is picked until you see his hypodermal chip changing colour. At first you try to deny it. It has to be a play of the light. A mistake, maybe. But then it is on the news as well. Your son is the new subject and he hasn’t come in yet like he should have. The aliens are coming for him.
Being accustomed to human habits, they allow you to go with him, although they advise against it. Of course you go. All parents do, the aliens say. Humans never listen to reason.
In the following weeks, your child is poked around. Needles, infusions and pills. He has to swallow big magnet-like sensors and gets extra chips. Wires go in and out. He is brave and endures. You can see his anxiety, but you assure him it should be over soon. That’s what they tell you anyway.
Then the pain comes. And his screams. Oh, his screams. You kiss his forehead, telling him to hold on. The aliens don’t give in to your pleas to stop. To please stop.
The pain comes and goes. In between, he is exhausted, but brave, still. You believe he is so much braver than you are.
One day, the aliens take you aside for a little talk. They inform you your child isn’t going to be one of those subjects that gets to go home after a memory wipe. Their studies show he actually is an excellent subject for their experiments. He is quite special. He is going to stay at the High Office forever. As long as his little body can endure anyway.
It’s your time to scream now. Your legs give in. You beg them to take you instead. There must be some similarities between the both of you, you plea. Maybe you would make an even better subject. You might be able to endure longer than your precious little boy.
Of course they don’t give in. That was not how the Lottery works. It’s your child they want.
So, day in, day out, you watch your child suffer. When you can’t bear looking, you still hear him anyway.
One day, the pain is exceptionally hard to cope with. Out of breath, your child tells you again he can’t do it anymore. He doesn’t even care for going home anymore. He just wants it all to stop.
For the first time you can’t find the strength to tell him to hold on. Why would he? The door is locked and guarded. And the aliens seem more thrilled with their results every day.
They will never let him go now.
This is why in Belgium, as of February 2014, euthanasia for minors was legalized.
We don’t have aliens here (yet) but we do have children suffering from terminal illness. Children with no other perspective in life than death.
Some are born into it; others see their life changing overnight. Some are in constant, barely sedated, pain; others are sitting out their time. Some have a clear will about what they want from life; others only know the difference between comfort and discomfort. Some will want to live; others will want to die.
I don’t expect you all to fully agree with this law. I do understand there are various objections, moral and religious. I do realize there are fears of misjudgement, or even misuse.
But for me, I’m mostly relieved and confident.
Relieved these children will now be able to make the most important decision of their lives. Confident they will be able to make the right choice with the support of their parents and doctors. They have my support too.
How about you? Would you be able to support a child or a parent on such decision? Are there laws for or against euthanasia for minors in your part of the world?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by K10K from The Penguin and The Panther.
The picture in this post is credited to the author.
If you ask her about her daytime job, Katinka will tell you all about the challenge of studying the fate of radioactive substances in the deep subsurface. Her most demanding and rewarding job however is raising four kids together with five other parents, each with their own quirks, wishes and (dis)abilities. As parenting and especially co-parenting involves a lot of letting go, she finds herself singing the theme song to Frozen over and over again, even when the kids are not even there...
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by Nadege Nicoll | Jun 13, 2014 | 2014, Family, Humor, Kids, Motherhood, Nadege Nicoll, Parenting, World Motherhood, Younger Children
I often say that I think moms have super powers. I genuinely, truly believe it. They might not be as flashy as climbing up walls – although figuratively, I do that on a daily basis – or flying from roof tops and landing on our feet with our hair perfectly combed. But still, superpowers they are!
Like being invisible: when you are trying to make your kids do something and they ignore you because they cannot see or hear you. Ha! How cool is that? Or being able to step in a basement so messy that not even a pet wants to risk a paw, and tidying it up with a few magic words – like “Are you kidding me?”, “Unbelievable!” – and a wave of our magic wand. If these are not super powers, then I don’t know what qualifies!
My favorite mom super power is our ability to predict the future. Try to beat that, Superman!!
For example, I can guarantee, with 100% accuracy that the following is going to happen to you today:
- You will be late: everywhere you plan to go, you will be five to ten minutes late. No point getting up ten minutes earlier. I have tried that. Does not work. Just accept it.
- There will be a messy room in your house tonight. If you are like me, it will be every room!
- You will be searching for your keys, phone, glasses, probably three or four times today.
- All the items listed in point 3 are in your handbag. Go look. See, I told you!
- I know you like to think of yourself as a very organized mom. This is why days ago, you have planned what you will cook tonight. But the bad news is, you are missing 30% of the ingredients. And let’s face it, no matter how creative you are, chicken curry without chicken just isn’t the same.
- Your kid(s) will disagree with you. For sure. If you are lucky, it will be about one little thing. If you are having a normal day, it will be about everything!
- With regards to point 6, don’t sweat it too much, because it’s only going to get worse…
- If, by any miracle, the kids don’t argue with you, you will be taking them to the doctor because, surely, they must be brewing something.
- When 8 PM strikes, you will feel an uncontrollable urge to put everybody in bed so you can have some quiet time – generic word for doing Facebook, drinking wine, or collapsing in front of the TV.
- Once the craziness has settled and the kids are asleep, you will want to go in their bedroom and wake them up to tell them you love them, because they look so sweet, and you are missing them.
None of these so-called “real” super heroes below can beat our gift. Batman kinda flies, but who doesn’t? Ben 10 can change into various creatures. Pfff, why is that even useful? As for the red guy, I can’t remember who he is. But he couldn’t get away with dressing like that unless he was a super hero.
What about you? What are the predictable moments in your day-to-day family life?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Nadege Nicoll. She was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. Nadege also writes a daily blog for moms who need to smile at everyday life. She can be found on Twitter, Facebook and her website www.nadegenicoll.com.
Photo credit to the author.
Nadege Nicoll was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. She stopped working in the corporate world to raise her three children and multiple pets, thus secretly gathering material for her books. She writes humorous fictions for kids aged 8 to 12. She published her first chapter book, “Living with Grown-Ups: Raising Parents” in March 2013. Her second volume in the series just came out in October 2013. “Living with Grown-Ups: Duties and Responsibilities” Both books take an amusing look at parents’ inconsistent behaviors, seen from the perspective of kids. Nadege hopes that with her work, children will embrace reading and adults will re-discover the children side of parenthood. Nadege has a few more volumes ready to print, so watch this space…
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