When I think about the perfect Xmas I think about waking up in the morning and seeing snow outside my window. (I guess I should mention that I am talking about a Norwegian Xmas, where we celebrate on Xmas Eve, not Xmas day.) Â As a child I enjoyed getting up really early in the morning and going into the living room to see the decorated Xmas tree with its light, and for the first time seeing all the presents underneath it.
Then, I’d spend the rest of the day looking at the presents, just looking. I never touched them or picked them up. I remember, especially, the afternoons when my mother was busy blow drying her hair, whilst I would watch the traditional Disney cartoons on telly.  This was my perfect opportunity to look at all the presents. To this day, my parents do not believe me when I say I didn’t touch them, but honestly I didn’t!
There are, of course, lots more aspects to my perfect Xmas, but I guess what I find a bit surprising is that my perfect Xmas is the one that I had as a child. I just don’t seem to be that open to new ideas when it comes to this one day of the year. So, when it comes to my wee lad’s first Xmas, I, of course, want it to be perfect!
My husband’s idea of a perfect Xmas is nothing like mine, as he grew up in England where there isn’t any snow for Xmas (or if there is it is a disaster, as nobody is prepared for it and the cars do not have winter tyres). He prefers going to the pub on Xmas eve, and opening his presents on Xmas day, in his pyjamas!
The fact that my wee lad is not yet one, and will not remember his first Xmas has nothing to do with the fact that I would like for it to be perfect. (Oh dear, I sound really spoiled and selfish now!)
Anyway, as we live in Norway and my parents get to spend a lot of time with their grandson, it was really only fair that we spend time in England when we have time off work, so this year Xmas in England it is.
Where to spend Xmas isn’t the only decision to be made, but also how should it be celebrated?  Although my first Xmas in England was a little bit strange, I soon got used to going to the pub on Xmas eve, but not sure that will work with a one year old…
We have this year decided that the grownups should not give presents to each other, so we will only buy presents for the children. This does mean that the amount of stress in December will be drastically reduced, as we spend so much time calling around trying to figure out what to get one another. So, back to basics – children will get presents, grownups will not (unless the item is small enough to fit into the stocking — this is what I try to tell my husband anyway!).
Then we are faced with the issue of presents for children. How many presents should they get? Our little lad is almost one, and I personally don’t think that he needs that many toys. He already has lots and lots, but he is always the happiest when he gets something else to play with, for instance, a cardboard box or a magazine. But, I will, of course, want him to have nice things to play (and develop) with. (Any views on this would be much appreciated!)
Another question we will have to face at some point, although not this year, is whether or not the little lad should believe in Santa. I risk annoying all the American readers here who celebrate Xmas (oops, and there I probably did by assuming that all American readers would be annoyed, but bear with me), but I just don’t see the point in going to the mall and making your kids sit on a strange man’s lap (a man in disguise)… As you’ll probably understand this is not part of my Norwegian tradition. (But, I would be very interesting in hearing other views on this one!)
After a lot of debating with myself, I am starting to come to the conclusion that any Xmas is perfect as long as you share it with loved ones, whether that be in a camper van in Australia (yes, I’ve done that), or a big family celebration with the in-laws (I’ve done that too). And, I am sure that my little family will start to make its own traditions, and hopefully, my son will look back at Xmas in the same way that I do – that the Xmas he had as a child was the best.
Are you celebrating this year? Â Where are you spending your Holidays?
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Asta Burrows in Oslo, Norway. Â Asta can be found on her Facebook Page or on Twitter @AstaBurrows.
Photo credit to http://www.flickr.com/photos/yozza/4360367926/.  This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
HEART WARMING & beautiful article with the exception that xmas should be spelled CHRISTmas!
Hi Ron, as you have probably guessed English is not my first language, and I have always thought that one was just a short version of the other. I have been using the term ‘xmas’ for years and only now do I see what it means. I will indeed use the correct term from now on, I wish somebody had told me before! Thank you for your comment and Happy Christmas! Asta
Greate article. I agree that Christmas is a day for the children. And I really love looking at them, the faces full of excitement, eager and happiness. That makes my Christmas perfect. We all have different traditions, so just find the best from both parts and that will give you the perfect day. Have a greate celebration i England this year 🙂
Hi Lene, thanks for the comment, have a great Christmas, or “God Jul”, like we say 🙂
Asta – Sounds like no matter how you will be celebrating Christmas it will be super special because it is your first Christmas you are celebrating with your baby. I have two children, ages 5 and 2. Since they arrived we’ve always spent Christmas on Cape Cod in Massachusetts (where we live). I cannot imagine the stress of having to pack up Christmas packages along with luggage and celebrating the holiday in another location. Anytime we travel I seem to get stressed out just in the process the packing for myself and my children. Kudos to you for conquering the challenge of packing up and flying no less!!
Don’t worry about the Santa thing, you didn’t offend me. I always believe in Santa growing up and was angry with my parents when I found out he wasn’t real. I felt betrayed and upset that they lied to me. I also was disappointed that there wasn’t this mythical man out in the universe that would always bestow presents to me even when I was grown up. Ah well, I got over it! But my husband and I did not tell our daughters the myth of Santa Claus. They know their gifts are coming from us. We read them books about Santa every December night and even have the Elf of the Shelf, which is a new American tradition that is really kind of cool, but they know him as a character, not a real man. To be completely honest, they are not in the least bit missing the Christmas spirit. If anything, I feel like they are better off because they know that we will never lie to them.
Have a Merry Christmas!!
Hi Courtey, regarding the packing we haven’t actually taken any presents with us! We decided this year that adults will not get presents for eachother, and we also agreed that my parents, who live in Norway will wait until we are back home before they give the lad his presents, I am sure he will get plenty of presents from his paternal grandparents, I just hope he doesn’t get too many as we have to take it all back on the plane!
Happy Christmas,
Asta
hmmm, as I was reading, I was wondering how long it would for someone to be offended by your use of Xmas! (it doesn’t offend me, but it does some people…) You don’t mention a religious aspect to your celebrations, so I think referring to it as Xmas is acceptable. I agree that whatever your traditions old or new – it only matters that you are with the ones you love. I will be spending my Christmas eve at the Ronald McDonald House next to the hospital, with my kids and husband, enjoying a meal someone else prepared for us and watching a man in disguise pass out presents to all the kids staying at the House as well. I will be thinking about how my youngest son has to spend his 1st Christmas in the hospital hooked up to a breathing machine. So the fact that I get to spend a little time with my family is enough for me. I am not a fan of the ‘mandated’ Xmas celebrations anyway. Thanks for sharing ~I never thought much about Santa being an American phenomenon! Although, I don’t think it hurts for the kids to have something ‘magical’ to believe in. Take care~Amy
Hi Amy, I hope you and your family have a great Christmas together!
Asta
I enjoyed reading about traditions outside of the US and wasnt offended in the least. :-)I dream of traveling to Europe someday. Anywho, my boys believed in Santa, my youngest still does and gets a kick out of writing a letter, but we don’t get all crazy about it. We don’t celebrate in any religious way, I am agnostic so we view Christmas as a time with family. We will spend time with my Dad’s family, then with my Mom on Xmas Eve. This is the first year that my boyfriend and I are living together so it’s our first Christmas morning together. I am pretty excited about that. 🙂
Hi Margie, thank you for for comment and hope that you and your boyfriend have a great Christmas together and that you find some great traditions of your own!
Happy Christmas,
Asta
Hi Asta ~ Love your post! Although I didn’t grow up with White Christmases, all the songs talk about it, so I feel like that is the ultimate Christmas. And I also grew up celebrating everything on Christmas Eve. We opened our presents at midnight in our nice Christmas clothes, so I am still getting used to opening presents in my pajamas on Christmas morning (this will be my third Christmas celebrating that way).
And about Santa…it’s funny because last year was the first year my oldest daughter (then 3 yrs old) started to “get” Christmas. My husband and I also debated the Santa issue. We asked ourselves why we would lie to our child about something make believe? But before we knew it, she was already talking about Santa because friends at her pre-school had been talking about him. So, onward with Santa we went. I will admit, this year I am working the Santa angle to promote extra good behavior – especially this month 🙂
Hi Eva, love the fact that you can use Santa to promote good behavior, I may have to reconsider my view on Santa! 🙂
Happy Christmas,
Asta
Hi Asta!
I have an English husband, too. And, like you, he’s referred to it as Xmas. For my family in th U.S. Christmas Eve is spent eating a fish dinner at home, then evening mass and then home to open presents from the family. Then, in the morning the presents left under the tree were always from “Santa”.
When I had my first Christmas in England, I didn’t understand the whole Christmas Eve pub thing either! My in-laws were good sports about it, so they would pick us up from the pub, and then take us to midnight mass at the church closest to their house just because it was part of my tradition. You don’t want to hear my husband sing hymns after he had a few pints…
Also, last year our friends took us to a pub that had an outdoor playground, which worked out perfect to catch up with other friends who had kids!
My husband explained that in his experience growing up in England the presents on Christmas morning were from his mum and dad and Santa came to fill just the stockings. And, all Christmas gifts were opened on Christmas morning, none on Christmas Eve.
I really liked your post, and a snowy Norwegian Christmas sounds magical. Maybe you will have to alternate years! 🙂
Veronica Samuels 🙂
Hi Veronica, we are actually having a snowy English Christmas this year! Who would have thought – so we get the best of both worlds (pub and snow) 🙂
Hope you and your family had a very happy Christmas!
Asta
Hi Asta!
I have an English husband, too. And, like you, he’s referred to it as Xmas. For my family in th U.S. Christmas Eve is spent eating a fish dinner at home, then evening mass and then home to open presents from the family. Then, in the morning the presents left under the tree were always from “Santa”.
When I had my first Christmas in England, I didn’t understand the whole Christmas Eve pub thing either! My in-laws were good sports about it, so they would pick us up from the pub, and then take us to midnight mass at the church closest to their house just because it was part of my tradition. You don’t want to hear my husband sing hymns after he had a few pints…
Also, last year our friends took us to a pub that had an outdoor playground, which worked out perfect to catch up with other friends who had kids!
My husband explained that in his experience growing up in England the presents on Christmas morning were from his mum and dad and Santa came to fill just the stockings. And, all Christmas gifts were opened on Christmas morning, none on Christmas Eve.
I really liked your post, and a snowy Norwegian Christmas sounds magical. Maybe you will have to alternate years! 🙂
Veronica Samuels 🙂
Hi Veronica, we are actually having a snowy English Christmas this year! Who would have thought – so we get the best of both worlds (pub and snow) 🙂
Hope you and your family had a very happy Christmas!
Asta
I loved reading your post and all of the comments! It was all very interesting indeed. I was also not offended at all by “xmas” or your reference to Santa. So if there’s no Santa, or Santa-like figure, in Norway, then the children know it’s the parents who put the gifts under the tree? I also love that you refer to your son as a “wee lad.” That’s so cute.
My experience with Christmas as a parent has included learning about Hanukkah and Kwanzaa through my daughter, who learns about all three celebrations in school. Although Santa is very popular in the U.S., not all Americans celebrate Christmas. As my husband and I struggle with our own religious beliefs, we haven’t really put the “Christ” back in Christmas for our celebrations. We do Santa, and the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy because we think they are fun traditions to share with our children. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.
Hi Sally, we do have Santa, and some kids might believe in him, but we don’t have the tradition of visiting him in the mall. Some families have the tradition of having a visit from Santa on Christmas Eve, usually a dad or an uncle dressing up. I did get some presents from Santa, and strangely Santa has the exact same handwriting as my dad! I also got some presents from Donald Duck who, you will not believe it, also has the same handwriting as my dad! So my patents didn’t try too hard to make me believe 🙂 I was actually terrified of Santa, it is common here to use a “mask” when dressing up as Santa, and to this day I find it scary!
I did also grow up with a toothfairy but always new it was my parents who you the money in the glass 🙂
Have a very happy Christmas!
Asta
Asta, I wasn’t offended by anything you wrote. either. I love learning how people celebrate the holidays in different places. It’s so interesting! I never knew that it was a tradition to go to the pub on Christmas eve in the UK or that there were pubs that had an outdoor playground. Interesting…I must hear more! 😀
Anyway, back to the holidays. I love Christmas time! I believed in Santa when I was younger and our kids believe now. For me, Santa was always so much fun and so magical, that I just couldn’t wait to share that with them. There’s mystery and excitement with the whole Santa thing. I didn’t have the perspective that my parents lied to me. But, I can see if you did feel that way, how it might be a negative, instead of a positive. For me, it’s all positive. Would it be great without Santa? Probably, yes, but that is what I grew up believing and I loved that part, so I never felt that I wanted to change that. I did change some other things, but that’s another post. Anyway, enjoy your holidays, whether you are in a pub, at church, with friends or family!! 😀
Hi Maggie, thank you for your comment. I think “the pub” here is an “institution”, where I come from the pub is just a place you go to get drunk, but here in England it seems to be a place for the whole family, and most of them serve food, and some of them serve excellent food, like the one we went to on Christmas Eve.
It’s an interesting question you ask – “Would it be great without Santa?” – and I hope it would – but it is good to have something magical about the holiday, and I think we all have to be careful that it isn’t just about receiving gifts. I do like the idea and the fairytale about Santa, what I don’t like is the idea of sitting on his lap at the mall 🙂 The part of my family who live in California said that Santa had “visited” them on Christmas Eve after the children had gone to bed, he had taken their Christmas lists, drunk the small glass of whisky, and Rudolf had left teeth marks in the carrot. I just can’t help but smile when I think of “dad” trying to leave the marks in the carrot 🙂
Hope you have had a very happy Christmas!
Asta