In my twenties, I found my love. Our first Valentine’s Day together, I gave him an ink sketch that I had done and he gave me a bottle of wine. It was a month into our relationship, so this exchange was pretty much expected.
As I got to know him more, I learned that he did not like Valentine’s Day. He thought it was a holiday made by Hallmark and it was all about money. I had never heard of this interpretation before, but I heard him out.
Unfortunately for him, I am much more based in my emotions, so he knew it would hurt me if he boycotted this day. It is not about the price tag, but the sentiment. We found a way to make us both happy and my favorite gifts have been hand-picked flowers, a card made by the kids and a poem written for me. What I like about us, is how we found a way to meet in the middle and understand each other. I get my romantic day, and he doesn’t feel like he is forced to go commercial.
While reflecting on all of this and thinking back to this day when I was younger, I thought it would be entertaining to have an interview with my family about Valentine’s Day to see what each of them thought (Daughter 4, son 6 1/2):
What do you know about Valentine’s day?
Son: I don’t know.
Daughter: Nothing
Husband: There was a St. Valentine guy, and Hallmark invented the holiday so they could sell greeting cards. Valentine’s Day is a multi-million dollar industry.
Me: It’s a day to celebrate our loved ones and friends. It is a special day, a romantic day.
What do we do on that day?
Son: Give somebody cards
Daughter: Give cards
Husband: Give cards, flowers, chocolate, get drunk and do it
Me: Tell each other we love each other, do something little, but special for each other, have a nice dinner together, sweet things
Why do we give cards?
Son: To say Happy Valentine’s Day
Daughter: I don’t know
Husband: To let someone know you’re thinking about them
Me: To say I love you or I like you.
Who do we give them to?
Daughter: Grammy, Pop, and Uncle Bill
Son: Everybody
Husband: Our Beautiful wives
Me: Husband, children, kids at school, niece and nephew
Does anyone get flowers?
Daughter: Yes. Who? Grammy, Pop, Uncle Bill
Son: No
Husband: Yeah. Who? You and our daughter
Me: Yes, me and our daughter
Does anyone get candy?
Daughter: Yes! Who? Grammy, Pop, Uncle Bill, Chuckie, Uncle Jason and Aunt Shelly
Son: No
Husband: Yeah, whoever, everybody…it just falls out of the sky
Me: Yes, we all do
Do you want candy?
Daughter: Yes, I want the things that have the twirl stuff on it. (spiral lollipop)
Son: No
Husband: Yeah, I like chocolate and those Andes mints
Me: Yes, chocolate crackers and turtles from the Chocolate Shoppe
Do you want flowers?
Daughter: Me! What kind? Red flowers
Son: No. Flowers are not good because they smell bad.
Husband: Not particularly
Me: I love flowers all the time, yes.
Do you want cards?
Daughter: I want cards. My mermaid wants a card too.
Son: Not me
Husband: I don’t know. If someone gives me one, that’s nice.
Me: Yes, my favorite are the ones that are made for me (hint, hint hubby dear)
Valentine’s day is a day to say I love you, I like you, I’m glad we’re friends. What do you think about that?
Daughter: I want to get candy, flowers and a card. Can I please get all of those stuff?
Son: Great
Husband: Sounds good
Me: I love it.
Who do you want to say “I love you,” to?
Daughter: Grammy & Pop
Son: Aunt Janie
Husband: Everyone I love….you and the kids
Me: My family and close friends
Are you going to do anything for Mommy for Valentine’s Day?
Son: You sleep and then we make valentine cookies, like hearts with chocolate chips
Daughter: orange cookies, ginger cookies and candy canes
Husband: Yeah…I have to, don’t I?
Are you going to do anything for Daddy for Valentine’s Day?
Daughter: Card
Son: Card
Me: Of course
What is your favorite thing about Valentine’s Day?
Daughter: Cookies!
Son: I don’t have a favorite one for Valentine’s Day
Husband: Ohhhh, we usually get chocolate that we don’t usually have and there’s nothing really wrong with that
Me: Surprising the kids in the morning with someone special, seeing their excitement, reminding them how special they are to us, doing something nice for my husband, pampering ourselves with a nice dinner together
Do you have someone special for Valentine’s Day?
Son: Amy….making her a heart cookie.
Daughter: Cousin May. I’m going to make her a present. Her present is going to be goodies.
Husband: I do.
Me: I do
After our interview, I have come to the conclusion that my daughter loves getting and giving candy, cookies, flowers and cards and so does her mermaid. My son actually does like getting surprises on Valentine’s morning, he just plays it cool. My husband has warmed up to this day because he has an emotional wife. He also has been the recipient of very nice Valentines!
As for Me, I am a romantic! I love treating my kids and husband on this day.
We want to hear from you: How do you feel about Valentine’s Day and what are your traditions?
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Maggie Ellison. Maggie can be found crafting with her children at home or playing on the beach with them in the low country of South Carolina, USA.
Photo credit tohttp://s763.photobucket.com/albums/xx279/jeniferqm/?action=view¤t=aw.jpg This photo is being used within the terms of photobucket.
I’m with your hubby on this one. I like to be romanced on any day of the year *except* valentines.
I love your husbands responds to the question “Are you going to do anything for Mommy for Valentine’s Day?” 🙂
In Norway Valentine’s Day isn’t really a tradition, we never had it when growing up, it is a day that has become popular in the last ten years or so, so here it does feel like quite a commercial day. Having said that, I do think it is very nice to get the card and flowers! 🙂
Very cute!!!
My sister and I always made a heart shaped cake for Valentine’s Day together. Now I do the same every year with my daughter.
My husband and I usually celebrate on a day close to Valentine’s Day to avoid the crowds and have a date night out to dinner!
Very cute post, Maggie! 🙂
Veronica Samuels
My hubby’s like your hubby. He thinks Valentines Day is over-rated and over-commercialized. I’ve learned to not expect anything. BUT my hubby surprises me with flowers and little romantic gifts on other days, and I really love it this way. I much prefer being surprised out of the blue, when I’m least expecting it!
My son is 3 and loves a 6 year old girl at school. He’s bringing her flowers. I love the sentiment and want him to learn about romancing someone. But the buying and commercialisation makes it over-complicated for me. My husband bought me a singing balloon and I bought flowers for the house and a chocolate for my son. It’s usually simple for us but we will be together all usual. Sweet post! Thanks for sharing.
Maggie – I loved your post – what a creative way to do it! Your husband’s responses made me laugh out loud because they sounded a lot like what my DH would say. And your sweet daughter’s responses made me smile because it sounds like she, my 4 yo and their mermaids would get along swimmingly with candy, cookies, and cards 🙂
Thanks! I love doing interviews with my kids. It is so fun!! Valentine’s Day is pretty simple here, too. This morning, I gave the kids and my husband some Hershey kisses and conversation jelly beans. My kids were through the roof with excitement. I wrote them all a Valentine, too. My son, who is now reading, read it himself and then gave me the biggest hug. He couldn’t wait to exchange Valentine’s at school. My daughter has eaten all her candy already! My husband is good for flowers. It’s an extra fun day for us!!
I know many folks who believe it is a purely commerical holiday to make money. While I can understand some of that argument, I believe that we each decide what to bring into the day. If you don’t like Hallmark cards, don’t give Hallmark cards. If a heart shaped box of chocolates feels trite, you don’t need to buy one. But the spirit of the day, reminding those you love and care about that you are thinking of them, that is something special. Some people need a prompt to do it, and if a little commercialism helps to do that while in the end brightening someone’s day, then I have no issue. I don’t go for the commerical stuff myself, but if someone is moved to give it to me, I take it in the spirit intended. I don’t think people should fake it or be ingenuine, but as your beautiful post shows, if you love someone, it isn’t about faking it, but understanding what has meaning to your partner and finding a way to meet in the middle. (Oh yes, as you can tell, I am in the romantic camp.) Plus it is another festive morning for my children. My son was so excited to get up today to give us his homemade cards. And he spent the whole weekend making Valentines for everyone in class even though he was sick. He wanted to make sure each kiddo knew he thought they were awesome. I can’t be cynical about that!
Loved the post – it made me smile. I am not expecting anything from my husband or girls today so I treated myself. I didn’t fold the clothes! I didn’t run the dishwasher! (I may regret that later) I didn’t make lunch – instead I took the girls to the local grocery store for fruit and yogurt. I bought myself some flowers! And I watched a movie on this rainy afternoon – which I NEVER, EVER do. It felt truly indulgent. Happy Valentines day to all xx
I think I go with your husband’s point of view – that the day is highly commercialised. We really don’t need a day to celebrate love…it can be celebrated everyday in the little tings we do for each other.
And I do love your son’s ideas on the subject.
I LOVE this post and, not surprisingly, I LOVE this holiday! I do a something speciaI for the kids in the morning and I’m a sucker for handmade cards and flowers. My husband and I have moved from expensive outings to a glass of wine together and a card exchange after bedtime. it suits us well these days. hope y’all had a beautiful day! You nailed this post. 🙂