As any Manhattan dweller will tell you, living in the Big Apple can’t be beat. Culture, parks, restaurants, and all sorts of excitement are all right in our backyard. (Well, we don’t actually have backyards, but I digress). The one big drawback? The size of the living space!
After all, because 1.6 million of us have decided to inhabit this 22 square mile island, something’s gotta give! I know, this is not the only place in the world where people cram themselves into a metropolitan area, but for me, the space issue can, at times, be a real issue!
We live in what is known in NY as a “junior four” apartment—basically, it’s a large one bedroom with a dining alcove that can be converted into a second *small* bedroom. Before Chase was born it was a perfect set up. When we bought the apartment we had a different lifestyle–we actually had space for dinner parties and the occasional houseguest! Now there is a train table where the bar cabinet once sat, so as we all know, things change!
We always planned to create the second bedroom but we didn’t fully understand what it would be like to have an actual person with finely tuned hearing living in it!
When Chase was younger he had to be rocked (rocked and rocked . . . .) to sleep. It was such a process to get him down, and then one little noise from outside his room and: “waaaaahhhhhhhh”, I had to begin the process all over again. He still wakes up from too much outside noise and he’s almost 3!
A few weeks ago my husband was cleaning up the toys in the living room after bedtime and Chase shouted “Daddy, why are you playing with my toys? Its sleepytime!”
The fact that his bedroom is right next to our kitchen and adjacent to our now dining room does not make life after bedtime very easy. While he’s sleeping, we have taken to opening any soda cans in the master bathroom (bedroom and bathroom doors closed) and all phones are sequestered in our bedroom after 8pm.
But, we soldier on! So, we keep the place quiet after bedtime and during naps; it’s an inconvenience, but not a deal breaker for us. When Chase was first born and I was working, we looked into moving to a normal-sized house outside Manhattan to be closer to family. The thought of having the extra space was definitely appealing, but we decided staying put was the best choice for us then.
It still is.
We have had some people question whether this is the best decision for our son. After all, he has no back yard. He doesn’t have a huge basement filled with toys, and he really doesn’t have much place to run around inside the house. These are all true statements. However, we (mostly me!) go out of our way to take Chase to the local parks and playgrounds whenever we can.
We go to indoor play spaces and have a playroom in our building for days that the playground is not an option. We do not have a lot of space, but we try to make the most of the city where we live. I take Chase to the Metropolitan Museum of Art or the American Museum of Natural History at least twice per month.
Even before we were parents we decided that spending time with our kids was the first priority, and I am happy that we’ve been able to stick to that decision so far. My husband’s commute is two stops on the express subway line and he’s home for breakfast every morning and usually makes it back for a bedtime kiss each night. When it’s time for kindergarten we’ll have to reassess whether this is still the right fit for us. Until then, we’re sitting (very) tight in our little junior four!
What’s a typical family dwelling like in your part of the world?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Allison Charleston of NY, USA. Allison is our city-dwelling, attorney-gone-stay-at-home mom!
Photo credit to http://www.flickr.com/photos/poldavo/2563078724/. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
Oh my, Allison. What I take for granted.
Usual older house in NZ probably 3 bedrooms, lounge, dining, kitchen, laundry, big verandah, decent sized yard. Nowadays there are more of the walk-in-wardrobe, study, 4+ bedroom, two lounge variety around, but the sacrifice has been the space outside – especially in the larger cities. And there are smaller flats/units/apartments around, always have been a few, but it’s not the norm, and I would say it’s unusual for people with children to live in them.
I can’t believe I worry about our yard being too small for our boys. I’m just going to hang my head in shame for a minute or two…What a great idea to write about.
Thanks! Yes, that is a big difference! We are very lucky that we have three very nice playgrounds in close walking distance (even sans stroller), then of course Central Park is only a few blocks away but too far to go without the stroller or the bus. I often compare our experience to friends’ in the suburbs and find that we are actually outside a lot more out of necessity but that is not necessarily a bad thing! Chase is very friendly and a favorite among our doormen and those of the neighboring buildings because we are out and about so much!
Good for you making the most of living in such a cool place. No point living in Manhatten if you’re not going to be doing things! I agree with the others who have commented – it’s being with the kids that’s important. Hubs and I said we’d make the same choice to have him round more too, under the same circumstances.
Giving time to kids is more important than a dwelling place like you hinted. Until a few months ago, we lived in an apartment with 2 bedrooms (the 2nd bedroom was a joke for a room), a living come dining, a kitchen, bathroom/toilets. We lived there for 4 years since DDS born. Now though we live in a very ‘big’ house compared to that. It just happened that we moved out of there and moved in here.
So, maybe you could reassess later when it needs reassessment.
And generally here in India, there are all sorts of dwelling among all sorts of people. It all depends on the priorities at certain stages in life. MAybe commutation is important or a huge back yard is important or ample living space is important, well, just different types..
Thanks! I agree that spending time with the kiddies is top priority. We have decided that living in a small space is worth it for now because I can stay home full time and my husband has a very short commute. Once Chase is in school full time we may decide that being in Manhattan is less important, but for now we are loving every minute of it!
Thanks, Courtney! If you ask him today, the Jackson Pollack is his favorite because its so messy! We have a few “must see” pieces at the Met including Degas’ ballerina sculpture and the Madonna and Child Enthroned with Two Angels by Fra Filippo Lippi! Also, we can’t leave without a trip to the cafeteria for some pasta in a taxicab lunchbox! We were there last week for the Guitar Heroes exhibit and he just loved it!
What a fun article! I loved it! I can completely relate to removing the phone for nap times. I bring our upstairs phone downstairs to avoid disturbing my youngest daughter’s nap.
I extol your efforts in making the most of what you have. We do the same on a one income salary in our house.
I love, love, love that you take Chase to museums so frequently. You are stimulating his senses with such GOOD quality. I am so interested to hear his perspective when he gets older about which art is his favorite and why! So very cool of you Allison!!
I love that you are our Manhattan mommy on here. I always look forward to reading your posts!
I really enjoyed your post! I am originally from Northeastern Pennsylvania and have family still in PA/NY/NJ, whom I visit when I can. While my own family in WA recently moved to a rural area for more space and breathing room, we are not too far from the major highway system, which was super important to me as I wanted to still be able to take my kids into Seattle to explore. I have always lived in or around major cities, and I love how much there is for children to do and learn. It is a cool gift for your little one to grow up around so much….well, just so much! Funny side story – I was just telling my older son about NYC yesterday when we received a gift from his cousin who lives there. It was a darling little boy’s sport coat, way dressier than anything that our typically casual PacNW family wears. He was in awe of it. When I explained where it came from, he asked, “What’s New York City?”, and I said that it’s a huge city aaaaaall the way on the East Coast full of cool things to do and people who dress all pretty and fancy (hence the jacket). He just said “wow…” while holding the jacket with wide-eyed wonder 😉
Great post! What an amazing experience for Chase to grow up in Manhattan. Nothing is ever going to be perfect. We have a lot of space where we live and a big back yard, however, we are hundreds of miles from museums and any type of cultural experience for that matter! Not only are you living in the greatest city in the world but you are taking advantage of all it has to offer.
Allison, I love this post. It speaks so truthfully about the choices that we make as parents. I, too, remember the days of bars rather than train tables. We chose the suburbia route but I have city envy for you. And the after bedtime soda can opening in the bedroom image? Freakin’ priceless! Great post! 🙂