Small acts of kindness, a word or a gesture, making a difference … or simply connecting with others. Do you keep your eyes averted when walking down a street? Or do you smile at the people you pass by? Do you avoid contact with strangers, or do you catch their eye and hand out random compliments? My girls roll their eyes sometimes when I compliment a passerby on their sweater, or a nice hair cut. “That color looks lovely on you” never fails to give someone a smile. A little feel good moment.
In a way, being polite and small acts of random kindness come across as one and the same to me.
People in stores and restaurants always wear their name tags. I tell my girls to take a quick look and then be sure to use their name when addressing them. Making eye contact and thanking the person who bagged your groceries by name just seems to be a polite thing to do. Stepping up to a register and asking the person on the other side how they are takes but a second, but may just make a difference in their day.
I abhor people who talk on their phones while being served, or conduct supposedly private conversations loudly in stores. It is all I can do to hold myself back from chastising people who do not say please and thank you. Is it really so hard to pick up your garbage in the movie theater? Or with that in mind – do you have to talk during the movie as though you were perchance in your living room? Which by the way, you are not.
I even wrote a post once about what annoys me most about people in Barnes and Noble. Perhaps I should print it out and give it to them next time we visit. My kids would die. But my children are polite souls for the most part, they have not really been given much of a choice, and maybe it is even some sort of British Colonial type upbringing as forced upon me as a child that makes me such a stickler. We even have little sayings about manners around the house lest they forget.
In fact, it reminds me of when my oldest was around 4. She had been served a dish at a grown up dinner party prior to the grown ups eating. She set her cutlery down, wiped her mouth sweetly with her napkin from time to time and thanked our hostess profusely when she was done. But when asked if she would like another serving she said, “Oh, no thank you, it was disgusting.”
A work in progress.
So in knowing that your children watch your every move … they certainly remember all the things you really should not have said or done, little sponges that they are. Guaranteed they can quote you right back when there are words you wish you had never uttered in the first place … because children learn their behavior from those that they spend time with. And most of the time, especially when they are little – that is YOU.
What sets you off? Do you have a pet peeve when out and about in the general public? Have you ever told someone off for their bad manners … or do you just quietly stew? Are there things that your children know are not negotiable, something you brought from growing up into rules for your own kids?
Share, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. After all, manners maketh man. Right?
This is an original Post for World Moms Blog by Post by Nicole of Sisters From Another Mister in Florida, USA. She can also be found on twitter @thesistershood.
Sisters From Another Mister
Sisters From Another Mister ... A blog born from the love of 'sisters' around the world who come together to lift eachother up no matter where they are on their life journey. Meet Nicole, a transplanted British born, South African raised, and American made Mom of two girls living on the sunny shores of South Florida, USA. A writer of stories, an avid picture taker and a keeper of shiny memories. Sharing the travels of a home school journey that takes place around the globe - because 'the world truly is our classroom'. Throw in infertility, adoption, separation, impending divorce (it has its own Doom and Gloom category on the blog) and a much needed added side of European humor is what keeps it all together on the days when it could quite clearly simply fall apart! This segues nicely into Finding a Mister for a Sister for continued amusement. When not obsessing over the perils of dating as an old person, saving the world thro organisations such as being an ambassador for shot@life, supporting GirlUP, The UN Foundation, ONE.org and being a member of the Global Team of 200 for social good keeps life in the balance. Be sure to visit, because 'even tho we may not have been sisters at the start, we are sisters from the heart.' http://www.sistersfromanothermister.com/ https://www.facebook.com/SistersFromAnotherMister https://twitter.com/thesistershood http://pinterest.com/thesistershood/ Global Team of 200 #socialgoodmoms Champion for Shot@Life and The United Nations Foundation
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I love that quote from your daughter, Nicole! A work in progress, indeed.
And I agree with you, wholeheartedly. I often engage in conversation with people serving me and at least attempt to make eye-contact and smile. My boys are still very much a ‘work in progress’ but I am so proud when I hear them use good manners… automatically. 😀
I love what you said here and I agree 100%.
I would do the same. I smile all the time in public which can be unusual in my culture sometimes.
I totally agree with everything you wrote. Raising your children with good manners is like giving them a passport into society. I have a crotchety old uncle who dislikes children … yet, he would brag about mine and let them stay over for weekends from when they were about 4 years old! Nothing beats that, as far as I’m concerned. I knew that if their manners were good enough for my uncle, they’d be good enough for everyone! 🙂
An interesting view- and yes kindness and politeness are connected, in a way that polieteness is a culturally appriopriate way to show kindness (which is a human characteristics). But it is cultural: for example, in the Netherlands, people are often considered rude because they may not say please and thank you all the time. but, they view their directness as kindness in a way: “I am telling you the truth because I respect you and I know you can take it”. And in some countries, it is not at all polite to maintain eye contact. I love your daughter’s answer- politeness, I think is also not about lying to someone, it is more to be truthful in a nice way (saying “You’re stupid” is not kind nor is it polite. Saying: “you did a great job on this but if you did that, you’d get much better results” is a polite way of criticizing someone without offending him or her.
When I visit my aunts in their retirement community, my girls always tend to run off in the hallways a bit ahead of me with me calling, “Get back here!”. And it always occurs (why??) in front of one particular woman who happens to be in the halls. And she tells me that they shouldn’t do that every time, but keeps going on and on about all the possible horrible things than can happen to them if I’m not completely beside them, here, in the retirement place. It was as if I let them loose on a NYC street or in a conflict zone. I appreciate her concern. But, why this bothers me. I don’t know, but it does. Maybe because I feel that she assumes that I’m a bad mom.
Jen 🙂