Would you believe me if I tell you I have NEVER heard of Father’s Day until I moved to America in 2005.
Yes, true story!
Here in Indonesia we just simply don’t have Father’s Day.
We do have Mother’s Day on December 22, 2014. The holiday is celebrated on the anniversary of the opening day of the first Indonesian Women Congress, which was held from 22 to 25 December 1928. The Congress was attended by 30 feminist organizations from 12 cities in Java and Sumatra. In Indonesia, feminist organizations have existed since 1912, inspired by Indonesian heroines of the 19th century, e.g., Kartini, Martha Christina Tiahahu, Cut Nyak Meutia, Maria Walanda Maramis, Dewi Sartika, Nyai Ahmad Dahlan, Rasuna Said, etc. The Congress intended to improve women’s rights in education and marriage.
We also have Kartini Day on 21 April to celebrate the emancipation of women spearheaded by an activist, Raden Ajeng Kartini.
So why do we have no Father’s Day then?
Could it be because we as a country are already too patriarchy?
I actually wonder about that too. So like a good citizen, I turned to Google and did a little research.
What do you know, actually we do have one and it’s called “Hari Ayah” in Indonesian which means Father’s Day. It was declared in 2006 it falls on 12 November. That explains why very few people are aware of this and it’s not popular. Maybe because we don’t commercialize it as much as mother’s day? I have never seen an advertisement for local Father’s Day.
Technically, men still perceived to have higher place than women in Indonesia. Like it or not, that’s the truth. We are still plagued by social injustices caused by a male-dominated society that abandons women to the whims of their husbands. So maybe that’s why it is more ‘common’ to celebrate Mother’s Day.
Being from a whole intact family unit of a father and a mother doesn’t guarantee that the father is always hands-on, and I think this happens in many different countries, too. I have personally seen mentally checked out fathers who leave all the responsibilities of raising children solely to their wives by justifying they are too busy making a living for the family. Many men still believe their fatherhood role is simply to provide for the family and that’s it. I feel for women who literally are acting as single parents in a married-life.
Being a mother myself, I can truly appreciate a man who helps out his wife. I celebrate hands-on fathers, like my own father. My father is a strong dominant male figure to me and many people will be surprised by how hands-on he has been. I can still recall him changing my brothers’ diapers, doing the dishes (something he still does to this very day!) and other domestic chores without complaining, going to the market for my mother and many more. He was even actively involved in our schools’ boards. He works hard, yet, he was and is always there.
And now seeing my own younger brother being very hands-on in caring, raising his first daughter truly warms my heart. My sister-in-laws’ friends pointed out that their own husbands do not even want to change diapers, but my brother changes diapers and more.
This made me realize how lucky we are to have our father as a big role model who set great living standards of what a great father is like.
So although Father’s Day is not hugely popular here, I salute all men who break the stereotype of fatherhood in my country. Hats off to you!
When do you celebrate Father’s Day in your country? How do you celebrate Father’s Day?
This is an original post by our World Mom, Maureen of “Scoops of Joy” in Indonesia for World Moms Blog.
Photo Credit: http://www.stockvault.net/photo/152311/asian-child-with-father
I live in South Africa and here Father’s Day is celebrated on the 2nd Sunday in June (Mother’s Day is the 2nd Sunday in May). I’m one of the lucky ones – my husband is (and always has been) the best father any child could wish to have. From dirty nappies to picking up our teen from a party in the early hours of the morning, he’s there. My children and I can count on him for everything. 🙂
My son is 21 years old now. Last Christmas his girlfriend and her little girl (from a previous relationship) came to stay with us for a month. It was heartwarming to see how good my son was with the 4 year old which (as you all know) is not the easiest age to manage … especially since English isn’t her mother tongue (they’re German). I’m really proud to be able to say “like father, like son”. 🙂
Fathers Day is celebrated in June here in the US, and our family does try and make a big deal about it. My husband is very hands on with our boys, and they look up to him. I know they will grow up to be caring men because they model their dad. It was really interesting hearing about your experiences in Indonesia. Thank you for sharing your perspective!
In India Father”s day is celebrated in June just like the US. It is not such a big deal like Mother’s day, but nevertheless it is well known. The men in my family have always been good role-models for the next generation, by God’s grace though we live in a very patriarchal Indian society. I hope some day my son would grow up to be a good man too.
It was interesting to read your article from Indonesia.
I love hearing about your father and brother being hands-on dads in a world where it isn’t common. Good for them!!
In the US, we took a parenting class for newborn care as a couple at our local hospital. The nurses there made it clear to the dads that they needed to be involved and taught them how.
As a stay-at-home mom, I have most of the work when it comes to the children, but my husband jumps in when he can and when I need help. There weren’t any babies in his family for a long time before our first daughter was born, so he was learning from scratch!
Jen 🙂