by Shaula Bellour (Indonesia) | Jun 22, 2016 | 2016, Asia and Oceania, Being Thankful, Expat Life, Home, Indonesia, Living Abroad, Shaula Bellour, Uncategorized
A few months ago we celebrated our “Asia-versary”, marking six years since we packed up our life in Portland, Oregon and moved to Dili, East Timor with our twin toddlers.
In some ways, it feels like yesterday. I can easily recall the very vivid sense of taking a giant leap into the world, equally nervous and excited. But it also feels like a lifetime ago.
After spending nearly two years in East Timor, followed by four years in Indonesia, we now feel like reasonably experienced riders of the expat rollercoaster. When new arrivals ask how long we’ve lived in Jakarta (and that we will likely be here for another four), they react with wide eyes…“Oh, wow!” This long-term status is unusual but I don’t really mind.
Our diaper-clad toddlers are now full-blown big kids who do not remember our pre-Asia life. Recently my daughter said, “I think we’ve lived in Jakarta for long enough now. Can we please move to Africa?” “Well, no. Not right now, anyway,” I replied – amused that such a move seemed entirely plausible to her, but also a little concerned by the normalcy of transience.
Though I sometimes miss the shiny novelty of being a new expat, I also appreciate our settled life in Jakarta.
Here are six things I have learned about making the most of this unique experience.
Choose the positive
Jakarta is not an easy city to love. The daily challenges of mega-city living – traffic, flooding, pollution and lack of green space – can really wear you down. Though we all have our bad days, choosing to have a positive attitude makes a world of difference. Unexpected traffic jam? Extra time to listen to my favorite podcast. There really is a lot to love here. It is a vibrant, friendly and generally safe city where just about anything is possible (and everything can be delivered). When I focus on the good things, more good things come.
Accept the chaos
In Jakarta, things often do not go to plan and the concept of jam karet (“rubber time”) takes some getting used to. However, learning to let go of being in control of everything and practicing a less-hurried approach to life can be valuable lessons. We love visiting Singapore because it feels like a breath of fresh air. Everything works, everyone follows the rules, you can walk everywhere! But after a few days I am always happy to return home. It turns out I like things a little messier and less predictable. It keeps life interesting.
Say yes
Living in a different country requires you to step out of your comfort zone on a regular basis. It provides countless opportunities to “say yes” to new experiences that may not have been available before. I have seen friends learn to play an instrument, take up a new sport, climb mountains, get dive certified, learn new languages, undertake distance learning and start small businesses. Last year I ran my first 5K and 10K races and performed with a dance group in front of 600 people. These are things I never would have done in my previous life. I am so glad I said yes.
Treasure friendship
One of the best parts of expat life is the community of friends. We all rely on each other and the bonds often feel familial. Close friends fill in for far away aunties, uncles and cousins. The downside is that most families will eventually leave and the annual exodus can be particularly tough for those left behind. But as sad as it is to say goodbye, it is also wonderful to know people in so many different places. We have been lucky to re-connect with some of our Dili and Jakarta friends during our summer travels, making the world feel both smaller and bigger. I love that paths do cross again.
Stay connected
I sometimes worry that our kids are missing out on a lot by not growing up in our home countries. The fact that they don’t remember our life before we moved to East Timor makes it even more important to stay connected to “home”, which is sometimes an abstract concept for them. Although home is where we live, home is also the US and UK – where we are from and where our families live. Fortunately we are able to visit every summer and have grandparents that can travel to see us in Jakarta. Prioritizing these special relationships helps us to feel rooted and connected.
Keep exploring
After living in the same place for a while, it is easy to get caught up in the daily routine and forget to notice the little things that make the experience unique.
The magic might fade but it is still important to keep learning and exploring. For me this can simply mean looking out the car window (instead of at my phone) or walking the nearby alleyways on my lunch break to appreciate glimpses of local life. I try to keep learning and using Bahasa Indonesia. I also keep lists of new things to do and places to go. Though we have plenty of time to tackle these activities, I am also aware that expat life can be precarious and is never guaranteed. I don’t want to take it for granted for a second.
This is an original post by World Mom Shaula Bellour in Indonesia
Shaula Bellour grew up in Redmond, Washington. She now lives in Jakarta, Indonesia with her British husband and 9-year old boy/girl twins. She has degrees in International Relations and Gender and Development and works as a consultant for the UN and non-governmental organizations.
Shaula has lived and worked in the US, France, England, Kenya, Eritrea, Kosovo, Lebanon and Timor-Leste. She began writing for World Moms Network in 2010. She plans to eventually find her way back to the Pacific Northwest one day, but until then she’s enjoying living in the big wide world with her family.
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by Loren Braunohler | Jun 20, 2016 | 2016, Europe, Expat Life, Poland, Uncategorized
Imagine that it is your child’s first day of preschool. You are nervous, naturally, about them adapting and being able to spend time away from you. They are not sure what to expect and may be dealing with a
range of emotions from excitement to apprehension and fear. It is a big step – for both of you.
First day of pre-school in Poland
Now take that first day and move it to a different country. The school operates in a different language, which neither of you speak, and you and your child do not know anyone. You have only just arrived in this country a week ago and now you are saying goodbye to your child for a few hours, hoping that they will somehow understand what is going on and perhaps make a few friends despite the language and cultural barriers that lie before them. One thing is for sure – you don’t know what is going on.
This was our family in September. Being a US Foreign Service family that moves every two or three years, the expat life is not new to us, but sending our three-year old to a local Polish school was. The result? We are more connected to the local community in Poland than we have been in the previous six countries where we lived over the past 13 years.
As an expat, it is easy to arrive somewhere new and settle into a community of other expats. When you move far from home, you seek comfort and familiarity; both of which can be found with other expats who are in the same boat and who may share the same language, customs, traditions, and beliefs that you do. We’re guilty of it: we’ve done it in Thailand, Sudan, Venezuela, Australia, and Mozambique. It’s certainly not a bad thing. In fact, sometimes that familiarity is what keeps you sane. But, other times, being so ensconced in an expat community can unintentionally keep you from making local friends and appreciating the culture and traditions around you.
What have we gained from putting our daughter in a local preschool?
Visiting a local festival in Krakow
First and foremost, she is happy and has made a great group of friends. Her teachers are enthusiastic, loving, and kind. Additional bonuses? She understands and speaks Polish. The whole family has learned about Polish traditions, customs, and holidays as she celebrates them in school. It has allowed us to make a number Polish friends, further educating us about Polish lifestyle and culture. It has been humbling – for me, in particular. Each time I pick her up, drop her off, and attend school functions, I am embarrassed by my inability to speak Polish, but I have been overwhelmed by the warmth of those parents who speak English and go out of their way to befriend us. And from those friendships come great advice on where else to travel in Poland, what to see and what to do, what events to attend, and how to honor and celebrate Polish holidays.
The choice we made, albeit out of cost and convenience considerations at first, has helped us to dig deeper than the typical expat life we generally adopt when overseas. In turn, it makes the limited time we have in Poland richer and more meaningful.
Sometimes the decisions that scare you the most reap you the biggest rewards. In the beginning I asked myself if we were doing the right thing by sending our 3-year old to a school where neither she, nor I, could understand what was going on. Eight months later, we know we made the right choice.
This is an original post written by Loren Braunohler for World Mom’s Network
by Martine de Luna (Philippines) | Jun 15, 2016 | Asia, Being Considerate, Being Thankful, Caring, Communication, Domesticity, Family, Gratefulness, Life Lesson, Parenting, Philippines, Uncategorized, World Moms Blog Writer Interview
In the Philippines, we have a saying that the mother is “ilaw ng tahanan.” In English, it’s literal meaning is “the light of the home.” Beautiful thought, right? It conjures up images of a well-made home, filled with laughter and warmth and hope.
It’s nice and meaningful. In fact, I think it’s sometimes a far-fetched notion, because honestly most times I feel I am the polar opposite. It’s hard to feel like “the light of the home” when — like me — you feel like a looming cloud of darkness, failure and hopelessness. I know I’ve felt this way many times, especially in the past year when our family situation was shaken up from its very core.
We have had a tough past six to seven months in our family. When my husband lost his job at the end of 2015, we knew we were going to have to make some big changes as a family. Perhaps the most heart-wrenching part of this episode was saying goodbye to our rental home of five years. I remember my son crying huge tears for several days as he saw his bedroom being packed away little by little, and our house gradually emptied of its furnishings… and most of all, his memories. I felt as though we had let him down.
It’s a common setup in the Philippines to go to family when a situation has gone awry, and that’s what we did.
It just so happened that my mom’s guest house out back had been made available, and I humbly asked my parents if we could stay in that house until we could sort things out. “You can stay as long as you need to,” my mother said, and she meant it. It’s been six or seven months since we moved in, and every day she assures me of the same thing.
And there, I see what it means when a mother is the light of the home. Because for me, my mother restores my hopes each day. We’re still working to get back on our feet, and her encouragement for us remains constant. There is nothing but acceptance and love for myself, my husband and our two young children here in this tiny little home in our childhood garden and backyard. I’m reminded every day of the goodness of my parents, and the Filipino sense of family in which our people so pride themselves. A “light of the home” isn’t something whimsical or aspirational. A mother is a light to her home when she restores hope to a darkened situation or state. No mention of keeping a perfect house or a spotless kitchen!
Maybe you’re not feeling much like a “light of the home,” dear mama reading this today. It’s OK. Like candles, we all get snuffed out at times; we get burned out and we get spent. It’s times like these that we have permission to rely on our fellow moms: friends, our actual mothers, mother figures.
There is nothing more powerful than women helping women, mothers helping mothers. In a matter of time, our light can shine again, brighter than ever.
This is an original post by Martine De Luna for World Moms Blog. Martine is a Manila-based writer and consultant for women in digital (bloggers, online entrepreneurs). Find her regularly on Instagram @martinedeluna and on her blog, makeitblissful.com
Martine is a work-at-home Mom and passionate blogger. A former expat kid, she has a soft spot for international efforts, like WMB. While she's not blogging, she's busy making words awesome for her clients, who avail of her marketing writing, website writing, and blog consulting services. Martine now resides in busy, sunny Manila, the Philippines, with her husband, Ton, and toddler son, Vito Sebastian. You can find her blogging at DaintyMom.com.
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by Orana Velarde | May 25, 2016 | 2016, Asia, Awareness, Being Thankful, Environment, Expat Life, Global Citizenship, Living Abroad, Sri Lanka, Uncategorized
Monsoon season is on the brink.
To make things interesting there was a Tropical Depression that started in Sri Lanka and made its way to India, flooding everything in it’s path. It turns out that “Flooding in Sri Lanka” made it to the Facebook Safety Check system and I promptly marked my family as “safe”.
There have unfortunately been a lot of displaced families and ruined homes. Landslides and too much water put Sri Lanka on the news. If you would like to donate to the flood victims please visit the site for YAMU that offers plenty of options for helping from abroad. Our family is in a safe area.
The two days of intense rain that cause the flooding got me thinking of how I always remember an occurrence of strong rain about every place I have lived in.
There are few things I like more than being inside at night with all the lights off and a thunderstorm raging. The way the lightning shines on everything for just a second; it’s like a dangerous magic sparkle.
The first time I ever saw real heavy rain was in Miami when I was 9 years old. I couldn’t believe that so much water could fall from the sky at once. In Lima, our rain was more like spittle in the air, making everything damp instead of washing away grime. The trees got moist but never really clean so the leaves stayed dirty from the soot that never washed away.
The rain in Miami was ruthless, it soaked you in seconds if you got caught outside, parks and streets flooded, the sky would explode in light and the wind would whistle between the houses. When I was 12 we experienced Hurricane Andrew and even if it was a bit scary, I fell in love with heavy rain. Since then, every place I have traveled to or lived in has been marked by episodes of rain.
When my oldest daughter was little, we lived in Cusco, a city in the Andes where rains are quite special. Rainbows are an every day occurrence and sun showers always took our breath away. Once in a while it would hail and the streets would get covered in little rivulets of ice pellets. I loved those days; the sound of hail hitting the roof was so loud we couldn’t hear each other talk.
When I left Cusco, the thing I missed the most was the beautiful cotton like clouds that formed against the crisp blue sky. I didn’t see those again until we arrived in Bangkok. What a sight, giant billowy formations over skyscrapers intertwined with wispy fingers over a deep blue sky that would suddenly turn grey and break loose like a thousand waterfalls. Rain so powerful that you couldn’t see the buildings across the street.
My kids have never been afraid of thunder and lightning, they get excited when they hear the rumbling getting closer and closer as a storm moves in. We watch from the window trying to guess where the next flash of lightning will strike.
I read a book once about a hippy commune in Goa, India. I clearly recall that the foreigners would disappear every year during the monsoon season. What a magical word, “monsoon”.
I didn’t realize the magnitude of a monsoon until we arrived in Phuket. The floods were maddening, the wind overpowering, the rains could last for days on end with no breaks or openings in the sky. Those were long, needless to say, wet days.
In the book Goa Freaks, the people that leave for the monsoon are the foreigners; obviously the locals stay. I am living this firsthand in Sri Lanka and the thing that surprises me the most is how people just go on with their lives, wading through the flood. The women in soaked saris going to work or getting things done without a care in the world. The strong rains are so common that it does not stop people from living. Life is just a little wet here on the shores of the Bengal Sea.
Is there a weather phenomenon that has stayed with you through time? Are your children scared of thunderstorms?
If you would like to donate to the Sri Lanka Flood Relief, please visit YAMU, there are plenty of online “from abroad” options if you are not in Sri Lanka
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Orana Velarde, Peruvian mother in Sri Lanka
by Cindy Levin | May 3, 2016 | 2016, Celebrations, Child Care, Family, Holiday, Motherhood, Uncategorized, World Moms Blog, World Voice
This Sunday, many moms in the United States will be celebrated with crepe paper flowers, homemade artwork, and breakfasts made with love and varying levels of quality control as tradition dictates. No matter how many kids you have or what country you live in, I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day from the U.S.!
But I really want to give a shout out to the Supermoms who walk among us. Hats off to the….
Single Working Moms
…who are just as tired as everyone else, but never get to look forward to that break and relief of hearing another set of keys in the door. All responsibilities start and stop with you when a child is sick while you need to work at a job that may or may not be paying you what you are worth.
Moms of Kids With Special Needs…
…who do everything all moms do, but over and over and over. Sometimes while everyone stares because they judge your child is too old for such behavior when they should be in awe of your patience.
Moms Living in Poverty…
…whose lives are full of Either’s and Or’s. You made the tough choices this winter between heat for the house or food for the bellies. Or even when things were going a little better, making the slightly higher class choice…toothpaste or dishsoap?
Moms Who Have Lost a Child…
…who live with the shadows of possibilities that never will be. You have an empty seat at the table and love still in your heart.Whatever your plans are this weekend, you should receive much more thanks from the world than you’re going to get this Sunday. I hope that if our paths cross on Mother’s Day, that I might notice you and give you some more of the respect and love that you deserve. But most of all,
I wish I could tell you that you can be the most powerful among us. You have the stories – if you are ready to share them – that can change minds and change lives to make the world better for your kids or the kids that will come after them.
This might seem like a strange Mother’s Day message, but Mother’s Day in the U.S. throughout the 19th Century was not about pancakes and flowers, but more about peace movements from mothers who lost sons, temperance movements, and local efforts of women to help other mothers learn to properly care for children. It used to be about empowerment instead of recognition. Could it be a bit of both?
To the Supermoms: Life is asking more from you than of many, but don’t let it defeat you. Be strong and speak out whenever you can. I wish I could tell you that you are powerful and have you believe it. Because it’s absolutely true.
This is an original post written for World moms Blog by Cindy Levin.
Do you know a supermom? Maybe it’s you?
Cynthia Changyit Levin is a mother, advocate, speaker, and author of the upcoming book “From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started.” A rare breed of non-partisan activist who works across a variety of issues, she coaches volunteers of all ages to build productive relationships with members of Congress. She advocated side-by-side with her two children from their toddler to teen years and crafted a new approach to advocacy based upon her strengths as a mother. Cynthia’s writing and work have appeared in The New York Times, The Financial Times, the Washington Post, and many other national and regional publications. She received the 2021 Cameron Duncan Media Award from RESULTS Educational Fund for her citizen journalism on poverty issues. When she’s not changing the world, Cynthia is usually curled up reading sci-fi/fantasy novels or comic books in which someone else is saving the world.
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by ThinkSayBe | Apr 22, 2016 | 2016, Advice, Awareness, Being Considerate, Being Thankful, Blogging, Caring, Communication, Family, Happiness, Health, Home, Humor, Husband, Identity, Independence, Life, Life Balance, Life Lesson, Memories, North America, Partnerships, Peace, Respect, Spirituality, ThinkSayBe, Uncategorized, USA, World Motherhood
I love post-prompts like this one, as they make me think about my everyday actions, especially the ones that come out of habits I created overtime, and no longer think about. Let’s get right to it and I’ll say that even though some of my dos and don’ts apply to varying types of relationships, I am focusing on romantic relationships like the one I have the pleasure of having with the man who is my husband. These are only a few of my favorites: (more…)
I am a mom amongst some other titles life has fortunately given me. I love photography & the reward of someone being really happy about a photo I took of her/him. I work, I study, I try to pay attention to life. I like writing. I don't understand many things...especially why humans treat each other & other living & inanimate things so vilely sometimes. I like to be an idealist, but when most fails, I do my best to not be a pessimist: Life itself is entirely too beautiful, amazing & inspiring to forget that it is!
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