by Olga Mecking | Dec 15, 2014 | Motherhood, Netherlands, Parenting
When people find out I have three kids, they tell me: “Oh you must have your hands full.” Many mom bloggers rage against this because they feel that there’s contempt hidden behind these words. They feel it means that we have too many children, that we are crazy, out of control and have no idea what we’re doing. Which may be partially correct but not very helpful. Others offer tips what to say instead of “You have your hands full” and except for “enjoy every moment”, I agree with all of them.
Personally, I don’t mind being told I have my hands full because it is the truth.
I walk away and smile because these people have no idea how right they are.
Of course my hands are full. How can they not be, with three kids? They are full of little clothes to wash, dinners and snacks to prepare, toys to buy and clean up.
They are full of little warm bodies to hug and cuddle, of tiny hands to hold and of heads to caress.
In the moments that my hands are not busy with children’s affairs, they can usually be found holding a book, typing away at the computer. But mostly, they are writing about the kids anyway, just like they’re doing now. Sometimes, they’re doing nothing for a change, which is also nice.
But my hands are not the only thing that is full with my children.
No matter whether they are around or not, my head is full of thoughts of them. “Will K. like it?” and “How is J. doing at daycare?” and “M is so active, what a fun little boy!”
I think about them. I worry about them. I miss them. I am happy for them. Sometimes, I am even angry with them or feel sad about something they did. Yes, one way or another, my head is full as well.
And so is my mouth because many words that come out of my mouth are about my kids. I tell them I love them, I ask them about their day, I tell them to clean up after themselves. I talk to them. I read books to them. I sing for them. I kiss little cheeks and noses and make ouchies magically disappear with my kisses. I talk about them a lot, maybe even too much. Sometimes, the words that I say are “I am so tired”. Sometimes, they are not even meant for children, but they were definitely “inspired” by them.
My eyes are full of my children as well, when I watch them play or sing or make a mess. When they want to show me something. “Mama, look, look, looook!” Of course, I have to look to see what they’ve painted or built with DUPLO blocks. I have the kids before my eyes when I look at toys or clothes and try to find the prettiest ones.
Sometimes, this fullness is all too much. Sometimes, I need to step back, lie down, clear my thoughts and just be alone. Be empty, in a good way, even if just for a moment.
To let my hands, my head and my eyes rest.
But my heart will never rest because without the heart’s involvement, the actions of my hand, head and mouth wouldn’t mean anything. My heart will always be full of the love I feel for my kids, no matter how annoyed, tired or cranky I am.
Yes, I am so full.
My hands are full.
My head is full.
My eyes are full.
But my heart is the fullest of them all.
What are some of the ways in which your children make you feel fulfilled?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Olga Mecking of The Netherlands. Photo credit: le vent le cri. This picture has a creative commons attribution license.
Olga is a Polish woman living in the Netherlands with her German husband. She is a multilingual expat mom to three trilingual children (even though, theoretically, only one is trilingual since she's old enough to speak). She loves being an expat, exploring new cultures, learning languages, cooking and raising her children. Occasionally, Olga gives trainings in intercultural communication and works as a translator. Otherwise, you can find her sharing her experiences on her blog, The European Mama. Also take a while to visit her Facebook page .
More Posts - Website
Follow Me:
by Meredith (USA) | Dec 12, 2014 | 2014, Awareness, Communication, Cooking, Family, Home, Kids, Motherhood, Parenting, USA, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Last week as I was driving my children to school, my son asked me out of the blue “Mom, what do you do all day when we are at school?” My daughter chimed in with,” Yeah…what DO you do all day?” (more…)
Meredith finds it difficult to tell anyone where she is from exactly! She grew up in several states, but mainly Illinois. She has a Bachelor of Science degree in Elementary Education from the University of Illinois at Champaign/Urbana which is also where she met her husband. She taught kindergarten for seven years before she adopted her son from Guatemala and then gave birth to her daughter two years leter. She moved to Lagos, Nigeria with her husband and two children in July 2009 for her husband's work. She and her family moved back to the U.S.this summer(August 2012) and are adjusting to life back in the U.S. You can read more about her life in Lagos and her adjustment to being back on her blog: We Found Happiness.
More Posts
by Kyla P'an (Portugal) | Dec 11, 2014 | 2014, Adolescence, Awareness, Being Thankful, Bilingual, Cultural Differences, Culture, Education, Eye on Culture, Friendship, Inspirational, International, Japan, Language, Life, Life Lesson, Living Abroad, Multicultural, Parenting, Relationships, Responsibility, Study Abroad, Traditions, Travel, USA, World Motherhood
The author with her Japanese host family,
Oshogatsu (New Year’s Day), 1994
When I was eight years old, my mom moved from our home, outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, to start a new life for herself in Los Angeles, California.
Growing up on the East Coast of the US, in the 1970’s, I had been exposed to only small pockets of Asian, immigrant populations; I knew nothing of the large, well-established Asian populations out on the West Coast.
On one of my first trips out to visit, my mom took me to an area of Los Angeles called Little Tokyo. As its name infers, it was a predominantly Japanese neighborhood and wandering around its streets made me feel like I had been transported to a different land.
I can’t remember if I had ever had sushi before my visit but certainly I had never experienced sushi in as authentic a setting as the restaurant she took me to that day.
The entrance involved crossing a wooden bridge over a small koi pond. There were stone lanterns and bonsai trees. the waitresses were all clad in kimono and the sushi arrived at our table on small wooden planks. I was mesmerized. For me, it was love at first…bite.
This experience had such an impact on me that, from that day on, I was enthralled by anything Japanese. I wanted to know everything I could about the country, culture and its people.
The Japanese were the great inventors of all things prominent in my childish memory: Iron Man, Godzilla, Kero-Kero Keroppi, Hello Kitty, my first Walkman. What a genius tribe they must be!
The rise of my curiosity coincided perfectly with the rise of the Japanese economy. Access to their food, products and even language grew increasingly accessible.
When I was in high school, a small group of students expressed their desire to study Japanese, a language option not yet offered at my school. Fortunately for us, since our school was less than an hour from Yale University—one of the US’s leading colleges—we petitioned for and received permission to get transportation to Yale one evening a week, so we could take an introductory-level Japanese language class there.
When I began researching colleges the following year, I selected only those with an established Japanese language program and study abroad opportunities.
I ended up at a small, liberal arts college in Tennessee with a strong International Studies department. I enrolled in every Japanese class they offered. In my sophomore year, I applied for and was accepted into my school’s Japanese exchange program with our sister university in Osaka, Japan.
At the end of my sophomore year, when all students had to declare their majors, I–along with one other student–petitioned for and was granted permission to develop the school’s first degree track in Japanese Studies. It seemed an auspicious plan, considering the Japanese purchase of the iconic, US landmark, Rockefeller Center, earlier that same year.
I spent my entire junior year of college abroad, studying at a Japanese university, living with two separate Japanese families and absorbing as much of the country and culture as possible for a college-aged kid.
I turned 21 there, a major American coming-of-age. I participated on Japanese sports teams, took painting and pottery classes, studied the culture through the fascinating lens of manga (Japanese comics), dated only Japanese men and immersed myself in the pursuit of understanding all things Japanese.
The author and her host sister dressed in kimono
My study abroad experience had an unbelievable impact on my life. It launched my passion and insatiable hunger for travel and Asia, beyond Japan.
I gained greater independence, broadened my global perspectives, forged life-long friendships, developed cultural empathy and experienced life as a minority; a gaijin (outsider) in a homogeneous land.
I consider my study abroad experience the foundation of the life I built upon it. I know that many of us here at World Moms Blog also have had experiences living and studying abroad; it is one of the many ties that bind us. We are global citizens striving to raise our own children in an increasingly globalized world.
But, as you will learn later today from World Moms Blog Founder, Jennifer Burden, here in the US, accessibility to and enthusiasm for studying abroad are not as prevalent as many of us may think.
So what’s it like in your country? Are study abroad programs prolific on your college campuses? Did you benefit from studying abroad? Tell us about what the experience means to you.
And stay tuned later today for Jen’s post on Studying Abroad and how the White House is playing a part…
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our managing editor and mother of two rising, global citizens, Kyla P’an.
The pictures used in this post are credited to the author.
Kyla was born in suburban Philadelphia but spent most of her time growing up in New England. She took her first big, solo-trip at age 14, when she traveled to visit a friend on a small Greek island. Since then, travels have included: three months on the European rails, three years studying and working in Japan, and nine months taking the slow route back from Japan to the US when she was done. In addition to her work as Managing Editor of World Moms Network, Kyla is a freelance writer, copy editor, recovering triathlete and occasional blogger. Until recently, she and her husband resided outside of Boston, Massachusetts, where they were raising two spunky kids, two frisky cats, a snail, a fish and a snake. They now live outside of Lisbon, Portugal with two spunky teens and three frisky cats. You can read more about Kyla’s outlook on the world and parenting on her personal blogs, Growing Muses And Muses Where We Go
More Posts - Website
Follow Me:
by Shaula Bellour (Indonesia) | Dec 4, 2014 | 2014, Awareness, Being Thankful, Cultural Differences, Domesticity, Expat Life, Family, Home, Husband, Indonesia, International, Kids, Life, Life Balance, Life Lesson, Living Abroad, Motherhood, Parenting, Responsibility, Shaula Bellour, Twins, World Motherhood
This month marks our third anniversary of living in Jakarta. Considering how empty our house was when we first arrived here, I am staggered at how much stuff we have acquired in that short time.
We initially started out with garden chairs as living room furniture and took our time furnishing our new space. Though the house isn’t exactly cluttered, it feels full – and I feel daunted by the sheer volume of STUFF that seems to fill every closet and drawer.
It’s the never-ending tide of cheap party favors, orphaned toy and game parts, and plastic galore. It’s the piles of paper: children’s artwork, old receipts, and unfinished magazines. It’s all the things I never use or wear, the boxed objects I might use one day and the stock of (US-bought) items I think I can’t live without.
Moving from the US to East Timor 5 years ago was a great opportunity to clear things out and scale back. Although I did feel a little sad watching an expectant dad cart away our twins’ disassembled cribs the night before we moved, it felt good to sort through our accumulated belongings and assign categories: donate, sell, ship or store.
Donating unwanted items was easy. I arranged for a pick up with a local charity group, stacked everything on my porch and it was all magically whisked away. We sold our car and other big items, sent friends home with plants and other housewares and shipped our edited possessions to Dili.
Everything else went into our storage unit. A few years later I visited it for the first time and was amazed by what we’d deemed worth keeping at the time. I randomly peeked in a few boxes and found…sweaters. Lots of sweaters. What was I thinking? It was winter at the time and we didn’t know how long we’d be away, but still.
We also stored our furniture, though we recently realized that the cost of storing it for the last five years has probably exceeded its value. While visiting the US, my husband spent a day digging out furniture and giving it all away – couches, tables, lamps, washer/dryer…everything. I was thousands of miles away at the time but it felt fantastic.
Leaving East Timor prompted a similar purge. And yet here I am again, feeling the urgent need to reduce and simplify.
Here in Jakarta, this process isn’t as straightforward. While it’s fair to say that nothing will ever go unused, getting rid of unwanted items isn’t as simple as piling them on the porch. I frequently give outgrown kids’ clothes and shoes to friends or neighbors, donate household items to women’s association charity shops, or leave things out to be upcycled by our handcart-pulling bin man.
Last month my children got involved and we went through their toys, books and clothes and filled 10 bags with donations for a local orphanage. Though it was good for them to be part of this process, I would also really like for them to see where their donations are going and consider giving back in other ways (time, money, materials etc.).
Although I will never be a minimalist (or a light packer…), I’m committed to scaling back and am hopeful that this is a first step toward living with less.
A quick internet search reveals hundreds of creative ways to de-clutter, organize and simplify our homes – and ultimately our lives. We are told that having too much stuff is draining and overwhelming us, that we are wasting too much time and money managing our things and that getting rid of all this stuff can make our lives richer and happier.
All of this may be true, but for me the bigger question is about how to acquire less stuff in the first place.
Clearly I don’t have the answer yet, but it’s definitely something I would like to explore and practice – starting now.
Please share your strategies and tips to get me started!
How do you minimize/manage the “stuff” in your house and life? Do you have any tips for living with less?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Shaula Bellour.
Shaula Bellour grew up in Redmond, Washington. She now lives in Jakarta, Indonesia with her British husband and 9-year old boy/girl twins. She has degrees in International Relations and Gender and Development and works as a consultant for the UN and non-governmental organizations.
Shaula has lived and worked in the US, France, England, Kenya, Eritrea, Kosovo, Lebanon and Timor-Leste. She began writing for World Moms Network in 2010. She plans to eventually find her way back to the Pacific Northwest one day, but until then she’s enjoying living in the big wide world with her family.
More Posts
by Tina Marie Ernspiker | Nov 28, 2014 | 2014, Cooking, Education, Expat Life, Family, Husband, Living Abroad, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mexico, Motherhood, Parenting, Water, World Motherhood
As a wife of one and a mom of four, it seems like I am always learning and discovering! I know I am not alone. Let’s just admit it: The world is a big place, life is a lesson, and children can be the best teachers. Normally my series, Life Lessons with Mexico Mom, is hosted on Los Gringos Locos, but today I am posting here on World Moms Blog.
Here are my insights and experiences as a Mexico Mom for this week:
Life Lesson 25: The city of Morelia, Mexico may shut off your water at any time without given notice. If this happens make sure your water tank is full! We have to press a switch to fill our water tank every other day or so. If we forget, we are without water for a few minutes. If the city turns off the water, we may be without water for a day. Then our wonderful landlord brings us a huge barrel of water for the toilets and the dishes. Yea!
Life Lesson 26: Driving through Morelia you could very well see a naked woman in the middle of the street. Unfortunately there is not much government help for the poor and mentally ill in our city. This part is actually very sad. My husband saw this poor lady, stark naked, with a pile of clothes in front of her. Chances are she was homeless and mentally ill. Cars were slowing down and people were staring. Brad was flabbergasted. There is not much he could have done for her. She would probably have been scared of my large, white husband.
Life Lesson 27: It is not necessary to have a stove and oven. Since we moved into our new house a month ago I have been without this appliance. I miss it dearly and hope to purchase one very soon. But on the upside, we have discovered just how much you can cook on a grill. Banana bread, pancakes, casseroles, scrambled eggs, quesadillas, pulled pork, and lots more! Brad has become a professional grill chef. Cooking is not my forte, so I am loving it!
What life lesson did you learn this past week? Please share it with us below. We want to hear your thoughts from around the world!
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Tina Marie Ernspiker. Tina can be found blogging over at Los Gringos Locos. She is also on Facebook and Twitter.
Photo credit to A. Hurst Photography
by shootiegirl | Nov 26, 2014 | 2014, Awareness, Boys, Family, Gun Violence, Human Rights, Motherhood, Parenting, Prejudice, Respect, Shootie Girl, Social Equality, Tragedy, World Events, World Moms Blog, World Voice
#BlackBoysMatter
Positive Images of Black Boys in Protest of Ferguson Tragedy
Mocha Moms, Inc. members, many of whom are the mothers of sons, are outraged by the failure to indict Darren Wilson in the Michael Brown, Ferguson grand jury case. But we realize we can’t change the decision, nor bring back Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin and countless other unarmed black boys, and men who have lost their lives. We chose to take to social media and flood our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages with positive images of our sons with hashtag #blackboysmatter. This is our way of peacefully organizing via the power of social media to change the way our society views black males. At the time of this article, our social media campaign has garnered nearly 5 million impressions and that number is steadily growing.
Our sons are not thugs, robbers or murderers. They are educated, professional, philanthropic, law-abiding men who give back to their communities and families. Their precious faces should not evoke a sense of fear simply because they are black.
We are not saying that all lives are not precious and equally important, or that our girls, white or brown children don’t matter. But these children are not being gunned down like animals in the street.
We invite moms from around the world, no matter the race, to join us in solidarity and help us spread the word by sharing photos of your precious sons of any color with #blackboysmatter. But don’t stop there!
Talk to your children about equality. Share the struggles of people who are not treated fairly and are discriminated against. Raise them to understand that no matter the color of someone’s skin, they deserve the same rights as everyone.
We shudder to think that civil rights icon and scholar, W.E.B. DuBois, was accurate in his statement;
“A system cannot fail those it was never meant to protect.”
This is an original post written by LaShaun Martin, National Director of Social Media, Mocha Moms, Inc. for World Moms Blog.
LaShaun Martin is National Director of Social Media and Community Service for Mocha Moms, Inc. a national 501(c)(3) support group for stay-at-home mothers of color. LaShaun currently works to manage and promote community service programs for the organization to include teen mentoring, Boys Booked on Barbershops literacy program, America’s Promise, MomsRising, Moms Clean Air Force, U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, and U.S. Department of Education. She is a frequent guest of the White House for events focused on women and girls including tea with First Lady Michelle Obama.
LaShaun holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Administration. LaShaun spent 20 years with the State of California, the State of Maryland Department of Corrections managing public education, research, FBI programs and later Hewlett Packard. LaShaun now serves as CEO and Designer of her own company, Shootie Girl™ Custom Rhinestone Apparel and Shootie Girl™ Blog – Positive Messages for Women and Girls. Shootie Girl™ designs have been featured with CNN’s Soledad O’Brien, Sherri Shepherd of The View, Carol’s Daughter, Clinique Cosmetics, Jack and Jill of America, Inc., Still Standing Movie, Dr. Sherry Blake of Essence Magazine and Aja Dantzler of R&B singing couple Kindred and the Family Soul and Blogalicious.
LaShaun is passionate about giving back and ensures her company reflects a heart for service by donating many “t-shirts for a cause” to Heart of Haiti, the women of Zimbabwe and The United Nations Foundation Shot@Life Campaign. She also serves on the Advisory Board of MOMentumNation and the Epilepsy Foundation.
LaShaun’s greatest passions are her husband, two lovely daughters and music.
Blog: http://www.shootiegirl.net
Custom Rhinestone Apparel: http://www.shootiegirl.com
More Posts
When people find out I have three kids, they tell me: “Oh you must have your hands full.” Many mom bloggers rage against this because they feel that there’s contempt hidden behind these words. They feel it means that we have too many children, that we are crazy, out of control and have no idea what we’re doing. Which may be partially correct but not very helpful. Others offer tips what to say instead of “You have your hands full” and except for “enjoy every moment”, I agree with all of them.
