by Ms. V. (South Korea) | May 27, 2014 | 2014, Babies, Expat Life, Family, International, Korea, Multicultural, Parenting, Relocating, S. Korea, Siblings, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
Hello from Washington State!
I can hardly believe it’s already been three months since we arrived from Korea. We just unpacked our last boxes of books last week and are finally feeling a bit settled. The transition took much longer coming back than it did going.
Neither my spouse nor I was prepared for the culture shock we would experience returning to the country of our birth. Parenting in the States is a whole other ball game, and we are still getting our bearings.
We also underestimated how difficult it would be for our son, who had only been here once when he was 7 months old. Despite our best intentions and what we thought was good preparation, it was a hard landing for all of us.
Thankfully, things are starting to change and we’re all feeling comfortable and content and present. It’s been three months of feeling in between two places, with daily (and sometimes hourly) utterly heartbreaking questions from our little one about when we will be returning home to Seoul. And of course, now that we’re all settled, our baby is due to arrive any day, throwing all of our new comfortable routines out the window. Such is life, right? Constant change with all of us just trying to keep up with as much dignity and grace as we can muster.
I find myself filled with unanswerable questions about how life will be with a new baby. Will I have enough time with my firstborn? Will our relationship change? Will I ever have time for myself or my spouse or our relationship? Will my body recover? What will it feel like to be the mother of two? Am I ever going to find my parenting tribe here? And on and on and on.
If I’ve learned anything from the times I’ve lived abroad it’s that unknowns eventually become known and in the meantime, you just make it work. Life will be what it will be.
My husband’s paternity leave has already begun so this morning we all walked down to the Farmer’s Market. It’s one of those perfect Pacific Northwest days with sun and breeze and Mt. Rainier looming. As we drank our hibiscus tea and nibbled on some vegan tamales, all the while surrounded by the heady fragrance of freshly cut bouquets of lilacs, I felt completely at peace, perhaps since the first time since we’ve stepped off the plane.
You know what that means, right? Come on baby. We’re ready.
This is an original post written for World Moms Blog by Ms. V. who we are happy to announce at the time of this posting has given birth to her families’ new addition. Both baby and mom are doing great!
Do you sometimes feel like as soon as you become settled in a routine in life, something inevitable changes creating a new variable?
*Photo uploaded from PotoBucket from Jawandapuck
Ms. V returned from a 3-year stint in Seoul, South Korea and is now living in the US in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her partner, their two kids, three ferocious felines, and a dog named Avon Barksdale. She grew up all over the US, mostly along the east coast, but lived in New York City longer than anywhere else, so considers NYC “home.” Her love of travel has taken her all over the world and to all but four of the 50 states.
Ms. V is contemplative and sacred activist, exploring the intersection of yoga, new monasticism, feminism and social change. She is the co-director and co-founder of Samdhana-Karana Yoga: A Healing Arts Center, a non-profit yoga studio and the spiritual director for Hab Community. While not marveling at her beautiful children, she enjoys reading, cooking, and has dreams of one day sleeping again.
More Posts
Follow Me:
by Nadege Nicoll | Apr 4, 2014 | 2014, Babies, Family, Humor, Kids, Milestones, Motherhood, Nadege Nicoll, Older Children, Parenting, Stress, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Well, let’s see… so far, I have counted four.
First, there is robot mom. She is on auto pilot because she is up twenty two hours a day, doing pre-programmed tasks such as: feed baby, burp him, change his diaper, rock him to sleep for an hour. She repeats these tasks in a different order all day long.
Robot mom yawns all the time, does not shower every day, only wears PJs and looks like a zombie. Her conversations are very predictable, usually about substances coming out of the baby’s body.
Robot mom runs on batteries. They are rechargeable with anxiety. That’s why she does not fall asleep standing up; she is too busy worrying about the color of baby’s poop, or projectile vomiting. Yet again, it always comes down to something smelly firing out of that tiny little bundle.
After about six months, anxiety does not recharge the batteries anymore. Plus, the baby is exhausted as well from all the throwing up, pooping and screaming, so he starts to sleep a little. It’s time for mom number two to kick in: insecure mom.
Insecure mom deals with babies that sleep-ish up to eight year olds. She has no clue what she is doing, and is constantly reminded by her friends and family members. “You shouldn’t give him carrots at his age”, “Does she still wear diapers?”, “He is a bit small”, “How many? Only two teeth are out? That’s strange”, “Your daughter looks funny with so little hair”, “What do you mean he does not know how to read?!!” And so on. Insecure mom is at her best with her first child. By the time her second child comes along, she has learned to tell everybody to bugger off. She has realized that past the age of five, kids do go to the toilet, so who cares whether it happens at two, three or four? She has accepted that she cannot stretch her child to grow bigger, that there are no medicines to grow teeth, and that nobody wants to do hair implants on toddlers so yeah, whatever…
Insecure mom feels guilty about everything.
Guilty for the things she does wrong, like losing the plot occasionally, using TV to get a few minutes of peace, being caught saying “What the f@*&!” by her four year old, who then seems to only remember THAT word (never happened to me!!!)
Guilty for the things she does right, like punishing the kids for being rude, using a firm tone when they spit their food back in their plate, and generally for being firm but fair.
And guilty for anything in between.
After a few years of not trusting herself, insecure mom realizes that her kids are growing up to be fine, well adjusted and happy children. So she turns into cool mom!
Cool mom is going to enjoy a few years of honeymoon. The kids are big enough to understand rules and respect. They can express themselves clearly, so unless they run to you screaming, there is really no need to panic. If you don’t hear them, they are likely being mischievous, but they have learned the difference between stuff that they cannot do that are a big NO-NO (like drawing on the walls with markers) and the stuff they cannot do but, “Meh!” (like playing video games with the volume off so you won’t know). They give you priceless, magical moments where they tell you about their friends, their views on life. Nothing is more enjoyable than this complicity between you and them. They think you totally rock, although please don’t try to hug them in front of others!
Enjoy! Because this mom does not stay for long. After that, the kids become teenagers. Everything you thought you knew about them is just gone. Woosh!!! You have to start from scratch. The only part you don’t have to repeat is potty training. Other than that, you will have to deal with tantrums and other toddler-like behaviors: not sharing their phone with their siblings, refusing to eat, slamming doors, boyfriend / girlfriend issues (I am not sure about teenagers, but toddlers have a lot of boyfriend / girlfriend drama going on!). Except, you can’t put them in time out or tower over them with your grumpy voice and your look-like-you-mean-it. I mean, let’s face it, they are a foot taller than you are…
So you have to be cop-mom: lay down the laws, stick to the rules. And call for back up! Or maybe remote mom: move to a deserted island with your alien children until they become humans again. I have no clue, I am only entering phase three of my motherhood journey. That’s why phase four looks a little scary. But like with robot, anxious and cool moms, we’ll all manage when we get there. Because at the end of the day, we will try our best. And that’s the best we can do!
Do you feel like you have evolved, or reached milestones, in your parenting journey? How has it been similar or different to mine?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Nadege Nicoll. She was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. Nadege also writes a daily blog for moms who need to smile at everyday life. She can be found on Twitter, Facebook and her website www.nadegenicoll.com
Drawing credits to Jake Nicoll, the author’s son.
Nadege Nicoll was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. She stopped working in the corporate world to raise her three children and multiple pets, thus secretly gathering material for her books. She writes humorous fictions for kids aged 8 to 12. She published her first chapter book, “Living with Grown-Ups: Raising Parents” in March 2013. Her second volume in the series just came out in October 2013. “Living with Grown-Ups: Duties and Responsibilities” Both books take an amusing look at parents’ inconsistent behaviors, seen from the perspective of kids. Nadege hopes that with her work, children will embrace reading and adults will re-discover the children side of parenthood. Nadege has a few more volumes ready to print, so watch this space…
More Posts - Website
Follow Me:
by Mamawearpapashirt (Singapore) | Mar 13, 2014 | Babies, Health, Pregnancy
Chinese Herbs
Most people think of confinement (a period of 30 days of recuperating after childbirth) as a rather smelly and icky ordeal where the new mother is not allowed to shower at will, drink plain water, or venture outdoors. At least that’s how one usually does confinement here in Singapore.
My recent one was my third time so in many ways I knew what to expect.
During the first few days in the hospital, I didn’t shower or wash my hair. But I kept my hair clean with a dry shampoo and wiped my body down with a microfiber cloth and warm water.
When I got home, I restricted myself to showering every other day using water boiled with a Chinese herb that helps to remove wind. Thankfully the weather was cool so I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all, even on no-shower days.
In place of water, I drank red date tea, made by boiling red and black dates, dried longans and other herbs in water. This drink has a sweetish taste and the red dates are meant to replenish blood and aid overall recovery, so this is the easiest practice to follow, IMHO. When my red date tea ran out (usually by night-time), I would make a fresh brew of fennel tea, to help with milk supply.
Traditional confinement diet usually encompasses cooking with loads and loads of ginger, sesame oil, and various other Chinese herbs for specific benefits to the postpartum body.
For the first one to two weeks, I ate simple steamed or boiled dishes like steamed fish, fish papaya soup (great for boosting breast-milk) and chicken stir-fried with ginger and black fungus.
Subsequently I had tonic soups too, such as black chicken soup double-boiled with Dom Benedictine.
I avoided cold drinks, vegetables, fruit and bread as the Chinese believe that these lead to more ‘wind’ in the body, which is generally not beneficial as it affects our joints and digestive system.
How did I cook all these nutritious meals? Well, it’s common for new mums to hire a confinement nanny (who stays over at your house) to cook and clean and care for baby during the first month. But as we recently hired a domestic helper, I just provided her with recipes and a rough meal plan so that she knew what to prepare each day.
Joshua, our latest arrival, was sleepy throughout the entire first month which worked out well for me as I could catch up on sleep during the day-time. So I would say my biggest challenge was adjusting to a new routine, which at one month after birth is non-existent.
The other major challenge was coping with the older kids. As I was busy either breastfeeding, caring for myself, or resting, I barely had energy left over for Vera (5 year old) and Javier (3 year old). It helped that the hubby took them out to play on the weekends, and on weekdays when he got home early, but it didn’t alleviate my guilt. As far as I could, I tried to involve my older kids when I was busy with the baby. Obviously they can’t change diapers, but they were pretty good at fetching things and helping to put soiled clothing into the laundry basket. The big sister was especially helpful in distracting him when he was cranky or crying. She also helped to rock the rocker when he needed a nap, and pop his pacifier back whenever it dropped. Sometimes when baby isn’t due to sleep, I’d read them a book while breastfeeding. And on good days when everything fell into place, I tried to do simple activities that they enjoyed, such as painting, art and craft, and bringing them to play with their skate scooters at the nearby park.
For self-care, I followed the age old advice – sleep when baby sleeps. I kept visitors to a minimum so I could focus on caring for baby and getting sufficient rest.
Before I knew it, the month was up. We had a lovely celebration for Joshua’s one-month birthday, which over here is a pretty big thing. And everyone congratulated us for surviving life with three. But as you know, the journey has only just begun…
How did you rest and recuperate after childbirth? What traditional practices do you follow?
Photo credit to the author.
June, born and bred on the sunny and sometimes rainy shores of Singapore, is a mother of two - a chatty 4 y.o. girl and a toddler boy who babbles. She works part-time as a communication consultant, and she is deeply passionate about family, writing, faith, and good old-fashioned love. She can be found on her blog, Mamawearpapashirt.
More Posts
by Natalia Rankine-Galloway (Morocco) | Jan 31, 2014 | Babies, Humor, Kids, Life Balance, Marketing, Motherhood, Parenting, Working Mother, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Since my son turned two, I have been getting questions about when another baby might be on the way. But the fact is that I have already have a second baby….my start up. And I’m just barely kidding. My business demands only marginally less time than a baby and gets talked about only a little less than baby number 1 on my Facebook page.
However, I will say that this first business of mine is, as my second child, benefiting from my experience with baby number 1. What I knew about starting a business could have fit on a postage stamp when I began. But I had at least a modestly sized pamphlet’s worth on being a mother.
I have been expanding both knowledge bases as my two babies have grown and I’ve noticed a substantial amount of cross over. Here are my five rules about running a business….or raising a baby…whichever. (more…)
Natalia was born a stone's throw from the Queen's racetrack in Ascot, UK and has been trying to get a ticket to the races and a fabulous hat to go with it ever since. She was born to a Peruvian mother and an Irish father who kept her on her toes, moving her to Spain, Ireland and back to the UK before settling her in New York for the length of middle and high school. She is still uncertain of what she did to deserve that.
She fled to Boston for college and then Washington, D.C. to marry her wonderful husband, who she met in her freshman year at college. As a military man, he was able to keep her in the migratory lifestyle to which she had become accustomed. Within 5 months of marriage, they were off to Japan where they stayed for a wonderful 2 and one half years before coming home to roost. Baby Xavier was born in New York in 2011 and has not slept since.
A joy and an inspiration, it was Xavier who moved Natalia to entrepreneurship and the launch of CultureBaby. She has loved forging her own path and is excited for the next step for her family and CultureBaby.
Natalia believes in the potential for peace that all children carry within them and the importance of raising them as global citizens. She loves language, history, art and culture as well as Vietnamese Pho, Argentinian Malbec, English winters, Spanish summers and Japanese department stores...and she still hopes one day to catch the number 9 race with Queen Liz.
You can find her personal blog, The Culture Mum Chronicles.
More Posts
by Meredith (USA) | Jan 24, 2014 | Adoption, Babies, Bedtime Routines, Being Thankful, Birth Parents, Communication, Family, Husband, Infertility, Life Lesson, Motherhood, Parenting, World Motherhood
I am the first person to admit that I had no clue about adoption before I adopted my son. I remember when I was growing up, I would tease my brothers that they “were adopted”. There was a girl in my first grade class who was adopted, but I was always told not to talk about it to her. I came to think that adoption was something that was a secret, and because it was a secret there might be something wrong with it. (more…)
Meredith finds it difficult to tell anyone where she is from exactly! She grew up in several states, but mainly Illinois. She has a Bachelor of Science degree in Elementary Education from the University of Illinois at Champaign/Urbana which is also where she met her husband. She taught kindergarten for seven years before she adopted her son from Guatemala and then gave birth to her daughter two years leter. She moved to Lagos, Nigeria with her husband and two children in July 2009 for her husband's work. She and her family moved back to the U.S.this summer(August 2012) and are adjusting to life back in the U.S. You can read more about her life in Lagos and her adjustment to being back on her blog: We Found Happiness.
More Posts
by Kristyn Zalota | Jan 7, 2014 | 2014, Babies, Birthing, Clean Birth Kits, Health, Humanitarian, Laos, Maternal Health, Social Good, World Moms Blog, World Voice
As many of you know, my organization CleanBirth.org works to make birth safer in Laos, which has among the highest rates of maternal and infant mortality in the world.
Due to the generous support of so many of you in 2013, with our local Lao partner Our Village Association, CleanBirth.org provided 2,000 AYZH Clean Birth Kits, served 150 villages, trained 15 nurses and 20 Village Volunteers.
The training of the last group, Village Volunteers, is particularly exciting. The nurses we train about Clean Birth Kits and safe birthing practices, have begun passing their knowledge to women from each remote village.
The nurses explain how to use and distribute the Clean Birth Kits, as well as how to track their use with a picture data sheet. They cover topics like safe pregnancy, the importance of having a partner during delivery (many women birth alone) and the importance of exclusive breastfeeding.
Photo provided by CleanBirth.org
A government representative who attended the Village Volunteer training in December 2013 was impressed and said, “We need more of these trainings throughout the Province.” That kind of validation from the government is essential to scaling up the project.
In another positive development that will enable us to expand training for nurses and Village Volunteers, CleanBirth.org has formed an alliance with the Yale University School of Nursing.
In July 2014, Yale Midwifery students will teach 30 local nurses the World Health Organization’s Essentials of Newborn Care. The Essentials are: clean birth, newborn resuscitation, skin to skin newborn care, basic newborn care and breastfeeding. This information will then be incorporated into the Village Volunteers training.
By providing access to the midwives from Yale, our Lao partners, the local nurses and Village Volunteers will have more tools to improve care for mothers and infants. This promotes our mission to make birth safer by empowering those on the ground with the training and resources they need.
We want to maximize the Yale Midwifery visit in July 2014 by raising $8,250 to fund the training of 30 nurses. To that end, CleanBirth.org is launching a crowdfunding campaign from February 4 – March 4.
Photo provided by CleanBirth.org
We are so lucky that World Moms Blog has signed on to support us again this year. During last year’s crowdfunding campaign WMB raised $685 and tons of awareness.
Please join us February 6 from 12-1 EST and 9-10 EST for a World Moms Blog & CleanBirth.org Twitter Party to talk about making birth safe worldwide. It is easy to join in by going to tweetchat and entering #CleanBirth.
Thank you!
Kristyn
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Kristyn Zalota. Kristyn is the founder of CleanBirth.org, a non-profit working to improve maternal and infant health in Laos. She holds MA from Yale, is a DONA doula and Lamaze educator. She lives in New Haven, CT with her husband and two children. Click here to watch Kristyn talking about her project. Email her are kzalota@cleanbirth.org. To find out more check out:
Facebook:http://www.facebook.com/CleanBirth
Twitter:https://twitter.com/CleanBirth
Tumblr:http://cleanbirth.tumblr.com/
Pinterest:https://pinterest.com/cleanbirth/
What do you think is in a Clean Birth kit? Click here to find out!
Kristyn brings her years of experience as an entrepreneur and serial volunteer to CleanBirth.org. She holds a MA, has run small businesses in Russia and the US, and has volunteered in Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos and Uganda on projects related to women’s empowerment.
After having children, Kristyn became an advocate for mothers in the US, as a doula and Lamaze educator, and abroad, as the Founder of CleanBirth.org. She is honored to provide nurses in Laos with the supplies, funding and training they need to lower maternal and infant mortality rates in their villages.
More Posts
