by Ruth | Jun 8, 2016 | 2016, Asia, Being Thankful, Childhood, Family, Gratefulness, Happiness, Life, Motherhood, Ruth Wong
My dearest son,
Being your mom has brought me tremendous joy, but also challenges. Many times, I worry about bringing you up well enough to reach your highest potential. I see other moms and feel like I am lacking.
Taking a deep breath I remind myself this is not a test. As much as it is my job to teach you, this is your life and your responsibility to be your best. I am here to grow with you.
I’m not the best mom in the world (though I’m blessed to know you think I am).
I hope you know that I am doing my best. I hope to teach you what I feel is most important to become a fine young man and live a wonderful life.
Be yourself.
There will always be expectations from people around you, to do certain things or behave in certain ways.
You are one-of-a-kind; born with a unique combination of gifts and talents. Seek to know who you are and have the courage to be true. Don’t compare yourself to others.
Don’t be afraid to dance to a different tune.
After some unconventional choices in my life, becoming a mom has made conscious of decisions I’ve made. I hope my life will show you that it is ok to not follow the crowd. There are no fixed rules or formulas for success. We must each find our own way, and that can only come from self-awareness.
Forget about trying to fit into a mold. Pursue your passion and live a life that brings you joy, meaning and fulfillment. Blaze your own trail.
Don’t just be a successful man, be a great man.
Most of us desire to be successful, and enjoy a good life. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I hope that you will also aim to be a great man. Be a man of courage, integrity, strong values and compassion, make a difference in the world. Show love and respect to others; don’t judge those who are different. Learn to appreciate. Life is not a competition, it’s a journey and we all need the company.
Be responsible for your happiness and your feelings
It’s not someone else’s job to make you happy. It all starts with the decisions and choices you make.
You can choose to let the words and actions of others affect you, or you can forgive, let go, and reclaim your joy. It’s important to acknowledge how you feel and choose to be in a positive, uplifting state.
Feelings are nothing to be scared of. They are only scary when you don’t know how to deal with them. We can learn how to positively manage and express feelings; learn to respond appropriately to others.
Feelings serve a purpose; listen to the messages they bring about any situation. When we acknowledge our feelings, we are opening the door to possibilities. Never suppress your feelings; it isn’t good for your health and wellbeing. You can be both strong and sensitive, and that will make you a wonderful man.
Failure is part of success.
Success takes effort, determination and courage. When you don’t succeed at first, don’t think that you are a failure. Instead, lean all you can from the experience.
Believe in yourself. If you persevere, you will succeed.
Success is an inside-out process
Success is an inside-out process. Your thoughts and beliefs determine your level of success. If you don’t have a strong inner state, success will be short-lived.
Focus on you inner game. Expand your consciousness to create a belief system that will support your outer success.
Be Thankful
Gratitude is an important ingredient to joy and success in life.
When we live with a sense of gratitude, we will naturally feel happier. There’s less need for comparison; we gain a balanced view about life, especially during challenging times. Focusing on the good helps us develop a positive mindset, which is the foundation to living a happy and successful life.
Appreciate responsibility
As you grow older, you will have more responsibilities. I hope you’ll learn to see beyond the tasks I give you and realize that you are only given them because I trust that you can do a good job.
Take responsibility for your actions and choices. You make a decision about something; you must bear the consequences. Don’t blame others when things don’t turn out. Appreciate the responsibility that comes with making choices. If the decision turns out poorly, learn from it. In the future, you will be able to make better decisions.
Learn how to communicate well
In life, everything is about relations. You need to be able to share your thoughts and ideas in order to achieve your goals. Learn to speak and write well.
Communicating is not just about speaking. It also means learning to listen. Communication is a two-way process. Pay attention to someone when they speak, look them in the eyes, acknowledge with simple gestures like a nod or smile. By doing that, you are showing respect.
One of the reasons I am so strict about you using smartphones is because I want you to first learn good communication skills.
Let’s grow together
Love, Mom
What things would you like to teach your children about life? What things about your own life would you like them to learn from?
This is an original article by Ruth Wong for World Mom’s Blog
Ruth lives in Singapore, a tiny island 137 kilometres north of the equator. After graduating from university, she worked as a medical social worker for a few years before making a switch to HR and worked in various industries such as retail, banking and manufacturing. In spite of the invaluable skills and experiences she had gained during those years, she never felt truly happy or satisfied. It was only when she embarked on a journey to rediscover her strengths and passion that this part of her life was transformed. Today, Ruth is living her dreams as a writer. Ironically, she loves what she does so much that at one point, she even thought that becoming a mom would hinder her career. Thanks to her husband’s gentle persuasions, she now realises what joy she would have missed out had she not changed her mind. She is now a happy WAHM. Ruth launched MomME Circle, a resource site to support and inspire moms to create a life and business they love. She has a personal blog Mommy Café where she writes about her son's growing up and shares her interests such as food and photography.
More Posts
by Ecoziva (Brazil) | Jun 3, 2016 | 2016, Awareness, Brazil, Caring, Communication, Environment, Global Citizenship, Humanity, Inspirational, Life, Life Balance, Life Lesson, Motherhood, Parenting, Priorities, Responsibility, South America, The Americas, Working Mother, World Motherhood
In an interview, a renowned academic in my field once said that when he was young he was certain about two things: 1) he didn’t want to teach, and 2) he didn’t want to write too much. He went on to teach in several famous universities and ended up writing 20 books. I found this very funny because although I have always loved to write, I always knew I didn’t want to teach, but I have been doing it for several years now.
This is something that comes to mind when I try to respond to some questions my husband and I often ask ourselves, as I listed in Part I of this post. Are we still living according to the same principles we followed when we first met (especially in relation to the environment)? Or are we fleeing our responsibility of making a difference in the world? Have we left our ideals aside in exchange for modern, middle class comforts? Are we still being true to our dreams? Above all, how can we be true to our dreams and ideals while at the same time guaranteeing a decent life for our children? And what is a “decent life”? Can’t we live a simpler life? The list goes on. (more…)
Eco, from the greek oikos means home; Ziva has many meanings and roots, including Hebrew (brilliance, light), Slovenian (goddess of life) and Sanskrit (blessing). In Brazil, where EcoZiva has lived for most of her life, giving birth is often termed “giving the light”; thus, she thought, a mother is “home to light” during the nine months of pregnancy, and so the penname EcoZiva came to be for World Moms Blog.
Born in the USA in a multi-ethnic extended family, EcoZiva is married and the mother of two boys (aged 12 and three) and a five-year-old girl and a three yearboy. She is trained as a biologist and presently an university researcher/professor, but also a volunteer at the local environmental movement.
More Posts
by ThinkSayBe | May 27, 2016 | 2016, Adolescence, Advice, Awareness, Being Considerate, Being Thankful, Blogging, Caring, Child Care, Childhood, Communication, Culture, Education, Expat Life, Eye on Culture, Family, Global Citizenship, Gratefulness, Happiness, Health, Helping, Humanity, Humor, Inspirational, International, Kids, Life, Life Balance, Life Lesson, Living Abroad, Motherhood, Moving, Multicultural, North America, Parenting, Partnerships, Relationships, Respect, Responsibility, Responsibility, The Americas, ThinkSayBe, Travel, USA, Womanhood, World Motherhood, Younger Children, Youth
If you’re a parent, or a child, or anyone, you may have heard the phrase. “It takes a village” (to raise a child). After reading a post written by a fellow contributor, KC, I remained in thought about this village that’s needed to raise our children.
KC is currently a stay-home-mum to a precious toddler, so you know she has one of the most rewarding and challenging positions in the universe; one weighted with a lot of responsibility, as well. Thankfully she takes the time to write about some of what’s going on in her world as a mum, a woman, and as a person, because out of her writing I found something I want to discuss, too. Check her out at http://www.mummyintransit.com. She is a really good writer, and she’s funny too.
In reading KC’s post I thought about my own experience as a child in Italy, a teenager in Tanzania, and an adult and parent in the United States. What was my village like? Who did my mum include in forming my personality and my worldview?
(more…)
I am a mom amongst some other titles life has fortunately given me. I love photography & the reward of someone being really happy about a photo I took of her/him. I work, I study, I try to pay attention to life. I like writing. I don't understand many things...especially why humans treat each other & other living & inanimate things so vilely sometimes. I like to be an idealist, but when most fails, I do my best to not be a pessimist: Life itself is entirely too beautiful, amazing & inspiring to forget that it is!
More Posts
Follow Me:
by Ecoziva (Brazil) | May 20, 2016 | 2016, Brazil, Domesticity, Education, Environment, Identity, Life, Life Balance, Life Lesson, Motherhood, Work, Working Mother, World Motherhood
When I was a teenager/young adult I wanted to change the world (as it happens with so many youngsters). And changing the world usually meant Doing Big Things.
Now, three kids and more than twenty years later, my saving the world efforts seem so distant. I grapple with alternating days when I stay home with the kids, sorting socks and washing dishes, and days teaching classes at the university, advising students’ research, and trying to do some research of my own.
At one point of my life I thought my career would be in the non-profit sector; i.e., I would be a professional environmentalist, forever. By then my volunteering efforts had evolved into parallel paying jobs related to social-environmental issues, and this kind of lifestyle went on for 12+ years.
I continued on to graduate school not because I wanted to become an academic, but because I thought it would be a great addition to what I already did. I found it exciting to go from project to project, often working on more than one at once. I felt almost repulsed by the thought of staying in the same job for the rest of my life, always doing the same thing. I even got a certain thrill from not knowing where my salary would come from after the current project ended.
My husband (who worked for the same NGO) was not as thrilled and dreamed of the day at least one of us would have a more stable job. Since I was already on the academic path in one way or the other, that person became me.
When I first became a professor I wasn’t overjoyed. Although I love to do research, teaching is a different story and it was very hard in the beginning. At this point I already had three children and the “saving the world” type of projects were in the past. Another dream that I tried to pursue (to become a professional writer) had also been buried. I sadly realized I wasn’t really passionate about anything anymore – except, of course, my kids.
By this time my husband had gotten a relatively stable government job, although he didn’t really love it. We were finally okay financially and we were living a comfortable life. Nevertheless, we began to question ourselves about our choices.
Were we still living according to the same principles we followed when we first met (especially in relation to the environment)? Were we fleeing our responsibility of making a difference in the world? Had we left our ideals aside for modern, middle class comforts? Were we still being true to our dreams?
At first I had a good excuse to avoid these issues because two of our kids were very small and I had to deal with all of the related motherhood issues. In parallel, I tried to make the most of my job focusing on the good things: stability, flexible hours, and the possibility of quantity time with my children even if that meant doing a lot of work at night and during the weekend. I told myself (and I still do), that there are many means to make a difference, even if in “small” ways.
After all, in practice, there are no real big things. Big things take place in small steps and often need more than one person involved. Also, what seems like small, local things, often involve a lot of work and may have a greater impact on the world than expected. No wonder one of the most popular environmentalist mottos is, “Think global, act local”.
Today, in my attempts to continue to be of service to the world, I try (for example) to be a good listener to my students because sometimes I sense they are more in need of a friendly ear than anything else. A great number of students suffer from depression and other related disorders, for instance. And it’s not that I serve as a psychologist or anything, but I frequently feel that just treating them kindly and making an effort to advise them extra well regarding academic issues makes a significant difference.
Yet the fact is, regardless of how we do in our present jobs, the sort of questions I listed before has been haunting us for the past few years. Now that our youngest is past three, these questions have resurfaced. The biggest issue that remains is how to be true to our dreams and ideals while at the same time guaranteeing enough food on the table (and healthcare, and a good education etc., etc.)?
This post will be continued in Part 2.
Please share your story below on how you have managed (or not) to follow your dreams, personally and professionally.
This post was inspired by two other posts: “Surviving the turmoil” and “My frame world”.
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Ecoziva in Brazil.
Photo credit to Claremont Colleges Digital Library. This photo has a creative commons attribute license.
Eco, from the greek oikos means home; Ziva has many meanings and roots, including Hebrew (brilliance, light), Slovenian (goddess of life) and Sanskrit (blessing). In Brazil, where EcoZiva has lived for most of her life, giving birth is often termed “giving the light”; thus, she thought, a mother is “home to light” during the nine months of pregnancy, and so the penname EcoZiva came to be for World Moms Blog.
Born in the USA in a multi-ethnic extended family, EcoZiva is married and the mother of two boys (aged 12 and three) and a five-year-old girl and a three yearboy. She is trained as a biologist and presently an university researcher/professor, but also a volunteer at the local environmental movement.
More Posts
by Ecoziva (Brazil) | Apr 29, 2016 | 2016, Brazil, Death and Dying, Environment, Friendship, Life, Relationships, South America, World Motherhood
I believe that everyone, in some way or another, has a second (or more) set of “parents”. This is a broad definition of parents I am using here – they may be people who cared for you when your biological parents were having problems, such as grandparents or aunts and uncles, or even godparents as is the custom in some places. They could be people who took you to the movies or to fancy restaurants if the money in your family was tight. They could be people close to you whom to others might seem commonplace but to you were heroes. They could be teachers, formally or not. The common characteristic among these people is that they were role models for you and had a big (positive) impact on your life in one or more ways.
I was lucky enough to have several such wonderful people in my life during childhood and adolescence, but one couple stands out.
(more…)
Eco, from the greek oikos means home; Ziva has many meanings and roots, including Hebrew (brilliance, light), Slovenian (goddess of life) and Sanskrit (blessing). In Brazil, where EcoZiva has lived for most of her life, giving birth is often termed “giving the light”; thus, she thought, a mother is “home to light” during the nine months of pregnancy, and so the penname EcoZiva came to be for World Moms Blog.
Born in the USA in a multi-ethnic extended family, EcoZiva is married and the mother of two boys (aged 12 and three) and a five-year-old girl and a three yearboy. She is trained as a biologist and presently an university researcher/professor, but also a volunteer at the local environmental movement.
More Posts
by Mamma Simona (South Africa) | Apr 25, 2016 | 2016, Africa, Life, Life Balance, Meditation, South Africa, World Motherhood
Recently I started practicing Heartfulness Meditation. It is when you are trying not to think about anything that you truly realise how your brain is never quiet! No matter what we’re doing, there’s a constant commentary going on. Most of the time we’re not consciously aware of these thoughts, but they do have an impact on our mood and behaviour.
Sadly, we are often raised to be very hard on ourselves, and our “self-talk” tends to be negative and critical. We would never be as cruel as we are to ourselves towards anyone else! This begs the question, why do we think it’s okay to be so mean to ourselves?
Many point to the way women are portrayed in the media, and how we’re somehow expected to be “perfect” – totally able to be a brilliant mother and an outstanding career woman whilst keeping a husband happy to boot. The truth is that nobody is perfect, and nobody truly has the life that we imagine they do!
A while ago I read something that truly resonated with me – “Don’t compare your behind the scenes to somebody else’s show reel.” Think about this for a minute … none of us really know what goes on in another person’s life, we only know what they choose to share with us.
Obviously people tend to share whatever makes them look good, and not what they’re ashamed of. So we look at another person and think “why can’t I be as good / brave / fit / successful or whatever as this person?” without knowing that they are probably thinking the same thing about us!
The good news is that as soon as you become aware of a bad habit, you can choose to replace that habit with one that is better for you. With regard to negative self talk, there are two steps to mitigate it. The first is to become more aware of the “soundtrack” going on in your mind. The second is to refute the nasty comments.
For example, if you make a mistake and find yourself thinking “I’m SO stupid!” you should counter that statement with something like “I’m not really stupid, I made a mistake, I now know better and I’ll do better next time.”
I also think it is very beneficial to carve out a few minutes every day to try and quieten the mind completely. This is usually accomplished by means of meditation, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be anything esoteric. It’s enough to sit in a quiet and comfortable space and just focus on breathing in and out. As soon as you become aware of a thought, you just bring your attention back to your breathing. There are many variations to this, for example in Transcendental Meditation a teacher gives you a mantra that you must repeat. No matter what you choose, the aim is the same, to try and get rid of the “soundtrack” (even if it’s just for a couple of seconds) so that you can reconnect with your authentic self.
Sometimes my soundtrack is made up of snippets of songs, and that can occasionally be rather amusing. Recently I tore part of my big toenail away from the nail bed. I kept it taped up to try and prevent my nail from falling off completely. I’d only left the tape off for a short time when I snagged the same toenail again and ripped it even more! Despite the pain, all that my brain had going on in a loop was the line “Oops, I did it again.” from the Britney Spears’ song!
Did you ever notice yourself thinking about a particular song in response to what is happening to you or around you? If so, can you give us an example?
Have you ever tried any kind of Meditation? If so, did you find it beneficial?
This is an original blog post for World Moms Blog written by Mamma Simona from Cape Town, South Africa. Photo credit: Kirsten Doyle
Mamma Simona was born in Rome (Italy) but has lived in Cape Town (South Africa) since she was 8 years old. She studied French at school but says she’s forgotten most of it! She speaks Italian, English and Afrikaans. Even though Italian is the first language she learned, she considers English her "home" language as it's the language she's most comfortable in. She is happily married and the proud mother of 2 terrific teenagers! She also shares her home with 2 cats and 2 dogs ... all rescues.
Mamma Simona has worked in such diverse fields as Childcare, Tourism, Library Services, Optometry, Sales and Admin! (With stints of SAHM in-between). She’s really looking forward to the day she can give up her current Admin job and devote herself entirely to blogging and (eventually) being a full-time grandmother!
More Posts - Website
Follow Me:
