by World Moms Blog | Sep 14, 2012 | Culture, Death and Dying, Guest Post, Health, Loss of Child, Maternal Health, Miscarriage, Motherhood, Pregnancy, USA, Womanhood, World Motherhood, Writing
I’m not going to apologize for being sad.
I have been thinking a lot lately about how it has been two weeks, 15 days to be exact, since my miscarriage (well, finding out about it anyway). And how although I have so many friends who have been supportive and such, I sense that the general feeling in our culture, when death happens, or a loss occurs, is to “get over it”.
Scattered throughout my days I hear these messages whispered in my ear..
move on
occupy your time
stay busy
you will get over this
I suppose in some ways I’m telling myself those things. I know people mean well. It’s just in our culture to stick a band-aid on things that are wounded and keep on going.
But you know what? I don’t want to get over it. Not right now. Nope. I’m sitting down right here on the ground and crossing my legs in the sand. I don’t care if it has been two weeks, or six… or two years or a decade. Maybe never. (more…)
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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by Salma (Canada) | May 14, 2012 | 2012, Canada, Childhood, Culture, Death and Dying, Kids, Loss of Child, Maternal Health, Miscarriage, Motherhood, Salma, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
There is a secret world out there; one, that unless you have lost a child, you would not be aware of. This world consists of blogs, forums, and meetings. Some of us call it the DBC. We are often too afraid to call it by its real name, the (dead babies club). Every day, a new member joins. Sometimes, a mother re-enters through another door with multiple losses. In the end, once you’re in, you never leave.
Walking into a room full of women who have experienced pregnancy and prenatal loss, it’s hard to see past their faces. Often, their faces tell of heartbreak, and sadness. You would likely be struck by how different each family’s story is. However, one thing remains the same, the impact that the loss has had on each family member.
Usually, I share my own painful story– my infant son died fifteen minutes after birth.
When I entered this secret world in 2009, I was unprepared. Sure, I had gone through a high-risk pregnancy; however, there was never any talk of my baby’s life being in imminent danger. Knee deep in denial, and heartache, I showed a brave exterior to my family, only to break down every time I was alone. I was so self- absorbed that I failed to include my children in my grief. (more…)
An Imperfect Stepford Wife is what Salma describes herself as because she simply cannot get it right. She loves decorating, travelling, parenting,learning, writing, reading and cooking, She also delights in all things mischievous, simply because it drives her hubby crazy.
Salma has 2 daughters and a baby boy. The death of her first son in 2009 was very difficult, however, after the birth of her Rainbow baby in 2010 (one day after her birthday) she has made a commitment to laugh more and channel the innocence of youth through her children. She has blogged about her loss, her pregnancy with Rainbow, and Islamic life.
After relocating to Alberta with her husband in 2011 she has found new challenges and rewards- like buying their first house, and finding a rewarding career.
Her roots are tied to Jamaica, while her hubby is from Yemen. Their routes, however, have led them to Egypt and Canada, which is most interesting because their lives are filled with cultural and language barriers. Even though she earned a degree in Criminology, Salma's true passion is Social Work. She truly appreciates the beauty of the human race. She writes critical essays on topics such as feminism and the law, cultural relativity and the role of women in Islam and "the veil".
Salma works full-time, however, she believes that unless the imagination of a child is nourished, it will go to waste. She follows the philosophy of un-schooling and always finds time to teach and explore with her children. From this stance, she pushes her children to be passionate about every aspect of life, and to strive to be life-long learners and teachers. You can read about her at Chasing Rainbow.
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by Salma (Canada) | May 14, 2012 | 2012, Canada, Childhood, Culture, Death and Dying, Kids, Loss of Child, Maternal Health, Miscarriage, Motherhood, Salma, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
There is a secret world out there; one, that unless you have lost a child, you would not be aware of. This world consists of blogs, forums, and meetings. Some of us call it the DBC. We are often too afraid to call it by its real name, the (dead babies club). Every day, a new member joins. Sometimes, a mother re-enters through another door with multiple losses. In the end, once you’re in, you never leave.
Walking into a room full of women who have experienced pregnancy and prenatal loss, it’s hard to see past their faces. Often, their faces tell of heartbreak, and sadness. You would likely be struck by how different each family’s story is. However, one thing remains the same, the impact that the loss has had on each family member.
Usually, I share my own painful story– my infant son died fifteen minutes after birth.
When I entered this secret world in 2009, I was unprepared. Sure, I had gone through a high-risk pregnancy; however, there was never any talk of my baby’s life being in imminent danger. Knee deep in denial, and heartache, I showed a brave exterior to my family, only to break down every time I was alone. I was so self- absorbed that I failed to include my children in my grief. (more…)
An Imperfect Stepford Wife is what Salma describes herself as because she simply cannot get it right. She loves decorating, travelling, parenting,learning, writing, reading and cooking, She also delights in all things mischievous, simply because it drives her hubby crazy.
Salma has 2 daughters and a baby boy. The death of her first son in 2009 was very difficult, however, after the birth of her Rainbow baby in 2010 (one day after her birthday) she has made a commitment to laugh more and channel the innocence of youth through her children. She has blogged about her loss, her pregnancy with Rainbow, and Islamic life.
After relocating to Alberta with her husband in 2011 she has found new challenges and rewards- like buying their first house, and finding a rewarding career.
Her roots are tied to Jamaica, while her hubby is from Yemen. Their routes, however, have led them to Egypt and Canada, which is most interesting because their lives are filled with cultural and language barriers. Even though she earned a degree in Criminology, Salma's true passion is Social Work. She truly appreciates the beauty of the human race. She writes critical essays on topics such as feminism and the law, cultural relativity and the role of women in Islam and "the veil".
Salma works full-time, however, she believes that unless the imagination of a child is nourished, it will go to waste. She follows the philosophy of un-schooling and always finds time to teach and explore with her children. From this stance, she pushes her children to be passionate about every aspect of life, and to strive to be life-long learners and teachers. You can read about her at Chasing Rainbow.
More Posts - Website
by Amy Hillis (USA) | Mar 7, 2012 | Death and Dying, Health, Loss of Child, Motherhood, Parent Care, Parenting, World Motherhood
Being a mom is hard work.
Being a mom after one of your children has died is indescribable.
I thought the days that directly followed the passing of my eight month old son were difficult. But soon those days drifted into weeks. Those weeks quickly drifted into months. Here I am, over a year later, and it still feels like David’s passing was just yesterday.
I began to wonder if something was wrong with me. There are days I don’t want to get out of bed. There are days that I yell at my kids over silly things they have done. There are days when I feel alone, even when the house is full of people.
Well-meaning people around me thought I should be over it. That I should be beyond the grief that holds me hostage.
In part, I agreed.
Not that I would ever be over it, no one can ever “get over” the death of a child. But the grief that holds me (more…)
Amy is a native Chicagoan that currently resides just outside of Cincinnati, OH. A city girl, through and through, she’s still adjusting to small town life. Amy has a Bachelor’s degree in Fine Art with a minor in French from Elmhurst College. She was working on her Master’s degree at the School of the Art Institute in Chicago, when she became pregnant with her 3rd child. Although this angel boy was only here for a very short time – he left quite a legacy.
Nathaniel was born with a rare genetic disorder called Citrullinemia. Amy and her husband, James, went on to have 4 more boys, 3 of whom were also born with Citrullinemia. In January 2011, her youngest son, David passed away from complications of a liver transplant performed to 'cure' the Citrullinemia. Now a stay-home mom of 5, she started blogging in October 2010, while David was still in the hospital. Two of her other sons have had successful liver transplants to cure their genetic disorders.
Her 2 older children still live in Chicago. When not hanging out with her kids, she spends her ‘me’ time writing, sewing, reading & walking. Amy also spends a generous amount of time online. She can be found on Twitter @transplantedx3. On Facebook and on her Website <a href="http://mytearstainedlife.com"My Tear-Stained Life
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by Salma (Canada) | Aug 30, 2011 | Canada, Child Care, Culture, Education, Family, Language, Loss of Child, Salma, Working Mother, World Interviews, World Moms Blog Writer Interview, Writing
Where in the world do you live? And, are you from there?
We live in Canada right now but Egypt is a second home for us as well. I was born in Jamaica.
What language(s) do you speak?
I’m a passive bilingual. I speak English & some French…I’ve been learning Arabic since “forever”.
When did you first become a mother?
My oldest daughter is 13 years old…I have been a mommy for a very long time. (more…)
An Imperfect Stepford Wife is what Salma describes herself as because she simply cannot get it right. She loves decorating, travelling, parenting,learning, writing, reading and cooking, She also delights in all things mischievous, simply because it drives her hubby crazy.
Salma has 2 daughters and a baby boy. The death of her first son in 2009 was very difficult, however, after the birth of her Rainbow baby in 2010 (one day after her birthday) she has made a commitment to laugh more and channel the innocence of youth through her children. She has blogged about her loss, her pregnancy with Rainbow, and Islamic life.
After relocating to Alberta with her husband in 2011 she has found new challenges and rewards- like buying their first house, and finding a rewarding career.
Her roots are tied to Jamaica, while her hubby is from Yemen. Their routes, however, have led them to Egypt and Canada, which is most interesting because their lives are filled with cultural and language barriers. Even though she earned a degree in Criminology, Salma's true passion is Social Work. She truly appreciates the beauty of the human race. She writes critical essays on topics such as feminism and the law, cultural relativity and the role of women in Islam and "the veil".
Salma works full-time, however, she believes that unless the imagination of a child is nourished, it will go to waste. She follows the philosophy of un-schooling and always finds time to teach and explore with her children. From this stance, she pushes her children to be passionate about every aspect of life, and to strive to be life-long learners and teachers. You can read about her at Chasing Rainbow.
More Posts - Website
by Amy Hillis (USA) | Jul 21, 2011 | Being Thankful, Inspirational, Life Lesson, Loss of Child, Motherhood
Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling pain with the mistaken belief that you can’t bear the pain. But, you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyondthe pain. (St. Bartholomew)
This is the essence of renewal: discovering all that you are (or can become) after the pain crystallizes in your mind. Decisions on how you want to live your life going forward. What is truly important?
Going forward. How does one move forward when faced with tragedy? It’s a difficult road to navigate, to be sure. I have borne the pain of losing not one, but two of my sons. I am struggling with what’s beyond the pain.
(more…)
Amy is a native Chicagoan that currently resides just outside of Cincinnati, OH. A city girl, through and through, she’s still adjusting to small town life. Amy has a Bachelor’s degree in Fine Art with a minor in French from Elmhurst College. She was working on her Master’s degree at the School of the Art Institute in Chicago, when she became pregnant with her 3rd child. Although this angel boy was only here for a very short time – he left quite a legacy.
Nathaniel was born with a rare genetic disorder called Citrullinemia. Amy and her husband, James, went on to have 4 more boys, 3 of whom were also born with Citrullinemia. In January 2011, her youngest son, David passed away from complications of a liver transplant performed to 'cure' the Citrullinemia. Now a stay-home mom of 5, she started blogging in October 2010, while David was still in the hospital. Two of her other sons have had successful liver transplants to cure their genetic disorders.
Her 2 older children still live in Chicago. When not hanging out with her kids, she spends her ‘me’ time writing, sewing, reading & walking. Amy also spends a generous amount of time online. She can be found on Twitter @transplantedx3. On Facebook and on her Website <a href="http://mytearstainedlife.com"My Tear-Stained Life
More Posts - Website
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