by Dee Harlow (Laos) | Sep 19, 2013 | Birthing, International, Maternal Health, Nutrition, World Motherhood
One of the most exciting day in any parent’s life is the day we get to bring our baby home. I was ecstatic to bring our two twin babies home, and very scared too about being left on my own to care for them. But it was indeed one of the most exciting days of my life.
On a recent work trip down to Salavan Province in southern Laos, I got to see two beautiful healthy babies on their way home from a district hospital with their parents. I don’t know who was more excited, them or me! To witness that special moment really touched me because of the volunteer work that I’ve been doing with Cleanbirth.org to help expectant mothers and newborn babies get a safe start in life by providing “clean birth kits” to women in rural Laos who would otherwise give birth unattended at home or in the forest using often unsanitary tools that can cause infection leading to death of the mother or child.
For me to know the long and difficult road that these two mothers have taken to give birth safely made the miracle of birth all the more awesome to me. To know that unless they traveled all way to a provincial hospital, they most likely did not get any prenatal check ups, or vitamin supplements, or ultrasounds. Although the standard of care that we consider basic are indeed accessible and cost relatively little because they are subsidized by the government, they are only available in large urban centers. This means that the 70% of the Lao population who live in rural areas either require a lot of resources to receive this care, or get none at all. Many factors contribute to the inaccessibility of the care expectant mothers need including, geographic remoteness, lack of infrastructure and seasonal limitations for travel on rough roads, lack of transport or money to pay, little knowledge of the health requirements of prenatal care or services available, as well as family priorities of working for subsistence living and other household responsibilities, and many others. (more…)
One of Dee’s earliest memories was flying on a trans-Pacific flight from her birthplace in Bangkok, Thailand, to the United States when she was six years old. Ever since then, it has always felt natural for her to criss-cross the globe. So after growing up in the northeast of the US, her life, her work and her curiosity have taken her to over 32 countries. And it was in the 30th country while serving in the Peace Corps in Uzbekistan that she met her husband. Together they embarked on a career in international humanitarian aid working in refugee camps in Darfur, Sudan, and the tsunami torn coast of Aceh, Indonesia.
Dee is now a full-time mother of three-year old twins and continues to criss-cross the globe every two years with her husband who is in the US Foreign Service. They currently live in Vientiane, Laos, and are loving it! You can read about their adventures at Wanderlustress.
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by Ecoziva (Brazil) | Aug 12, 2013 | 2013, Being Thankful, Birthing, Brazil, Child Care, Contraception, Family, Husband, Kids, Life Balance, Life Lesson, Marriage, Milestones, Motherhood, Nature, Parenting, Pregnancy, Working Mother, World Motherhood, Younger Children
It is no secret to those who know me that marrying and having kids wasn’t exactly part of my life plan. I thought someday I might want to, but up to my 24th year of age – which is when I got pregnant with our first child – the feeling hadn’t come up. My husband, on the other hand, wanted to marry and have a bunch of kids from the time he was a teenager!
After a lot of inner work and, above all, after seeing our son’s face for the first time, I fell in love with motherhood. The issue then became: how many children would we actually have? What exactly would be the average between my hesitance and my husband’s “as-many-as-I-can-convince-her-to”?
The answer was part instinct, part serendipity. As a wedding gift, one of my husband’s college professors had a painting made especially for us. The painter did not know us, so (as the story goes) the professor described us as two young, nature-loving, alternative creatures. The piece that resulted – which now hangs right here behind me – portrays a solemn-looking, round-faced couple that is so close they could be Siamese twins. The left hand of each rests on the other’s heart. The girl wears a flower printed dress, has flowers in her hair and a single flower in her hand. The guy wears a suit of sorts. On the side of each of their shoulders is a green, succulent plant, and above each plant is an angel resting on what seems like a marble pillar, one blue, one yellow. Above the couple is a yellow, flying fish.
I was five months pregnant then and had just found out the baby was a boy. The name we chose means “he who tills the earth”. I don’t know who said it first, but we started joking that the blue angel was our boy, the yellow angel was our future second child (a daughter whose name would mean “lady of the waters” in an Indigenous language) and the flying fish would be our youngest (a little boy whose name – a reference to a famous Greek character – would mean “he who balances himself in the air”).
Coincidence or not, here we are almost nine years later with the three of them, born in that order and aged nearly nine, two and a half, and five months. And with the added bonus that both our lady of the waters and our little “flying fish” were born in our tub, to the sign of Pisces!
Having gone through a particularly difficult pregnancy this last time, I constantly tried to convince my husband to undergo a vasectomy. He, however, did not even want to hear about it (like many men I know, he has a huge needle phobia!).
Later, while I was in labor, he said he would do it (talk about good timing!). At that moment I was ecstatic, yet after the baby was born I began to question myself about our decision. I look at that cute little baby (it doesn’t help that he is so calm and sleeps so well!!) and think wistfully, “Oh my, this is the last baby in the house until we have grandkids!” Or now, as the time approaches to start introducing food in addition to nursing, “This is the last time I will be able to smell this pure breast milk breath all the time!” And so on…
My husband of course took advantage of all this and decided to postpone the vasectomy for another two years until I am absolutely sure.
When I stop to really ponder, three seems like a perfect number considering our life style and the way we raise our kids. For instance, we enjoy working from home as much as possible and choose to rely on as little outer help as possible; all of this gets harder with more kids.
Of course, if we “accidentally” did have more children we would find a way. On the other hand, if my husband did undergo a vasectomy and then we later changed our mind, we could adopt (which was a possibility we had considered before having our third child).
Do I really want more kids or am I just attached to this cute baby phase? The truth is, I don’t really know the answer right now! Let’s see what the future has in store…
And you, how many kids do you have? Was it a planned number or did it just happen? How did you decide? Please share your story!
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our enviro-mama and mother of three in Brazil, EcoZiva.
The photograph used in this post is of the referenced painting commissioned for the author and her husband. It was submitted by the author.
Eco, from the greek oikos means home; Ziva has many meanings and roots, including Hebrew (brilliance, light), Slovenian (goddess of life) and Sanskrit (blessing). In Brazil, where EcoZiva has lived for most of her life, giving birth is often termed “giving the light”; thus, she thought, a mother is “home to light” during the nine months of pregnancy, and so the penname EcoZiva came to be for World Moms Blog.
Born in the USA in a multi-ethnic extended family, EcoZiva is married and the mother of two boys (aged 12 and three) and a five-year-old girl and a three yearboy. She is trained as a biologist and presently an university researcher/professor, but also a volunteer at the local environmental movement.
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by Kristyn Zalota | Aug 6, 2013 | 2013, Birthing, Clean Birth Kits, Laos, World Moms Blog, World Voice
As many of you know, one year ago I started CleanBirth.org, a non-profit aimed at reducing infant and maternal mortality in Laos. We provide nurses with training, birthing supplies and funding to educate village volunteers about safe birthing practices.
One tenet of my organization is that local people call the shots on-the-ground, while Westerners provide the resources and funds. Local nurses are empowered to develop and execute programs which empower expecting mothers to have safer births.
There’s that darling of non-profit speak: empower. Oxford defines it: to “… make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.” A worthy goal, certainly, but sometimes I worry:
“Can foreigners really empower locals to find long-term solutions to their own problems?”
Photo By Kristyn Zalota
I thought about this on my long journey to Laos in June to train twelve nurses. On this second CleanBirth Training trip, I wanted to see that the nurses were taking ownership of our CleanBirth Kits Program. I also wanted to hear their new ideas about ways that we can make birth safer.
From the beginning, it was clear they the nurses wanted to learn and participate. They were “…thrilled to have been invited…none of them had ever been asked to a training like this before.” They asked pertinent questions about the CleanBirth Kits Program and grasped the importance of accurately reporting data.
As we moved on to additional ideas for making birth safer, they became even more engaged. Dr. Nong, my Lao partner, had to write furiously to keep up with the nurses’ suggestions. I sat back and smiled, thinking:
“This is exactly the way it should be. I, the Westerner, am in the background, while they, the locals, are finding their own answers.”
In the end Dr. Nong and the nurses drafted an outline for our new initiative: CleanBirth Volunteer Training. The nurses will gather one woman from each of the villages that she serves to learn about Clean Birth Kits, safe birth practices, and prenatal and infant care. The first CleanBirth Volunteer Training will be held in October.
So have we empowered these nurses? Are we giving women more control over their lives and births in the 100 remote communities that we serve? I’d say that we are off to a good start. The nurses have the funds and the tools that they need. They have designed the solution themselves. Now, we must wait and see what happens next.
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Kristyn Zalota.
What do you think? Is it truly possible as an outsider to empower locals of another culture in a sustainable way?
Kristyn brings her years of experience as an entrepreneur and serial volunteer to CleanBirth.org. She holds a MA, has run small businesses in Russia and the US, and has volunteered in Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos and Uganda on projects related to women’s empowerment.
After having children, Kristyn became an advocate for mothers in the US, as a doula and Lamaze educator, and abroad, as the Founder of CleanBirth.org. She is honored to provide nurses in Laos with the supplies, funding and training they need to lower maternal and infant mortality rates in their villages.
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by Fiona Biedermann (Australia) | Aug 5, 2013 | 2013, Babies, Being Thankful, Birth Parents, Brothers, Divorce, Family, Grandparent, Kids, Life Lesson, Marriage, Oceania, Older Children, Parenting, Pregnancy, Relationships, Siblings, Single Mother, Stress, World Motherhood
My husband and I have four boys – his, mine and ours. We have one child each with other partners and then the two younger ones we have together. They now range in age from 16 – 24 years of age.
This morning my son sent me a text message to say his girlfriend has begun having contractions – which have since stopped and started and stopped again – regardless the baby is coming (be it today, tomorrow or next week) and this has raised all sorts of emotion in me.
This new baby is not biologically my son’s yet he’s been with the baby’s mother for almost the entire pregnancy. The girlfriend treats my son’s little boy like her own and my son in turn has been there for her every step of her baby’s short life from the first movements, to birthing classes, to sticking by her side today as labour has stopped and started and stopped again.
Raising happy, healthy children is a massive undertaking. As is maintaining healthy, sound relationships with all of the involved parties when relationships break up and family dynamics change. Step families have a dynamic all of their own with all of the extra people involved; from different partners and new siblings, through to step parents and step siblings. Wrap this entire group up with lots of emotion, plenty of personality and opinion and you have a good idea of how challenging step families can be.
The early years of family life were challenging in my world – with my husband’s ex-partner, my ex-partner and then all of the grandparents and family members who didn’t suddenly stop loving the children or wanting to see them because their parents had split up.
Consider Christmas which is hard work at the best of times; it’s harder when you have to coordinate four immediate households, four children (plus their step / half siblings) and numerous aunties, uncles and grandparents. Christmas is exhausting to say the least.
You may wonder where I’m leading with this post…
I’m excited for my son and his girlfriend, but I’m also a little reserved because I’m not sure how I should act. Am I a proxy grandma, a step nanny – I’m not really sure where I fit into this picture. This baby already has two sets of grandparents and I don’t want to step on anyone else’s toes. Then I realise I’m probably being stupid about the whole thing and I don’t have to ‘fit’ anywhere. I realise no baby can have too much love or attention and that biology alone does not make a loving family member.
Regardless, I guess this newest member of the family, when he finally arrives (yes, they already know it’s another boy – why am I not surprised?), will no doubt enchant us and beguile us. He’ll add an extra element to Christmas Day and I will goo and gaa over him, hug him and cuddle him just as I do with my own biological grandson.
In the end – happy, healthy babies and loving families are all that matters – biology surely doesn’t count for as much as love and emotion does.
What’s your experience with step families? Do you have special ways of dealing with the ex-partners, extra siblings and family occasions?
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Fiona from Inspiration to Dream of Adelaide, South Australia.
Image credit courtesy of Vlado of Free Digital Photos
Fiona at Inspiration to Dream is a married mother of three amazing and talented MM’s (mere males, as she lovingly calls them) aged 13, 16 and 22, and she became a nana in 2011!
She believes she’s more daunted by becoming a nana than she was about becoming a mother! This Aussie mother figures she will also be a relatively young nana and she’s not sure that she’s really ready for it yet, but then she asks, are we ever really ready for it? Motherhood or Nanahood. (Not really sure that’s a word, but she says it works for her.)
Fiona likes to think of herself as honest and forthright and is generally not afraid to speak her mind, which she says sometimes gets her into trouble, but hey, it makes life interesting. She’s hoping to share with you her trials of being a working mother to three adventurous boys, the wife of a Mr Fix-it who is definitely a man’s man and not one of the ‘sensitive new age guy’ generation, as well as, providing her thoughts and views on making her way in the world.
Since discovering that she’s the first blogger joining the team from Australia, she also plans to provide a little insight into the ‘Aussie’ life, as well. Additionally, Fiona can be found on her personal blog at Inspiration to Dream.
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by Dee Harlow (Laos) | Jun 27, 2013 | 2013, Birthing, Culture, Eye on Culture, Inspirational, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
Our “Casting a Wider Net” series features mothers around the world whose voices have typically been excluded from the blogosphere, due to lack of access to the internet, low literacy or poverty. This feature aims to include their important and distinct perspectives with interviews and occasional video clips.
Peng is a soft spoken but opinionated housekeeper who is meticulous, professional and very kind. Like many of her peers, she switched careers to become a housekeeper because it pays more money. After finishing high school, her father paid for her to attend trade school to become a trained cook, after which she began working a stable but odd hours catering job in a big hotel here in the capital city of Vientiane. Despite her burgeoning restaurant career, after one year Peng’s father advised her to become the housekeeper of his then foreigner boss instead, not only because it paid more but offered more reasonable hours and a nice environment in a large, well appointed home. She hasn’t looked back on her restaurant career and still agrees today that being a housekeeper for foreigners pays more than restaurant work as an assistant cook, even in large establishments.
The only time Peng has stopped working was when she became a mother to her daughter, Cofie, and raised her at home for her first four years. Cofie was born in 2001, in a small hospital near Peng’s house on the outskirts of the city. Peng said that she chose this particular hospital to give birth because it was close by and not as crowded as the main government run Mahosot Hospital. And good thing that it was nearby her home because she was turned back twice within two days after her initial contraction pains started. (more…)
One of Dee’s earliest memories was flying on a trans-Pacific flight from her birthplace in Bangkok, Thailand, to the United States when she was six years old. Ever since then, it has always felt natural for her to criss-cross the globe. So after growing up in the northeast of the US, her life, her work and her curiosity have taken her to over 32 countries. And it was in the 30th country while serving in the Peace Corps in Uzbekistan that she met her husband. Together they embarked on a career in international humanitarian aid working in refugee camps in Darfur, Sudan, and the tsunami torn coast of Aceh, Indonesia.
Dee is now a full-time mother of three-year old twins and continues to criss-cross the globe every two years with her husband who is in the US Foreign Service. They currently live in Vientiane, Laos, and are loving it! You can read about their adventures at Wanderlustress.
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by Kristyn Zalota | Jun 25, 2013 | 2013, Birthing, Clean Birth Kits, Health, Maternal Health, Philanthropy, Social Good, Uncategorized, World Moms Blog
Photo By Kristyn Zalota
Nine months ago, I received the first donation to CleanBirth.org, my project to make birth safer in Laos. It was fittingly given on the playground after school by a fellow mom.
I say fittingly, because I have spent much of the past 7 years of motherhood pushing swings and spotting my monkeys on bars. It is also fitting because the bulk of the three hundred donors who followed that first donation are fellow frequenters of playgrounds. The support from moms, dads, and grand parents totals almost $20,000 in just 9 months!
Kristyn with OVA Staff and Nurses in Laos
So how does a playground aficionado add safe birth advocacy to her daily life?
Here’s my 3-step plan for changing the world in the way only you can:
1. Find your passion. My kids are 4 and 7 today, but when they were younger full-time, stay-at-home motherhood was tough for me. I wanted to be with them and I also wanted to travel and work. By way of a compromise, I volunteered on projects in Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Thailand, Cambodia and Uganda. Sometimes the kids came with me – we lived in Thailand and Cambodia for a year – and other shorter trips they stayed at home with their dad and grandparents. My experiences as a volunteering mother transformed my long-standing interest in women’s empowerment into a passion for global maternal health.
Once I realized that I wanted to advocate for women and make birth safer, I became a mama on a mission.
2. Find a do-able project. So, how can I be at pick-up by 1pm everyday *and* make birth safer in Laos? I started with a manageable project. CleanBirth.org provides Clean Birth Kits (an absorbent sheet, medicated soap, a sterile blade, cord clamp, picture instructions) and birth education to women in one province of Laos. Studies show that kits prevent infection in both mothers and babies.
To ensure that the project is locally driven and sustainable, I have partnered with two organizations. The first partner is Our Village Association (OVA), a Lao non-profit with 10 years of experience working with local villagers. Together with OVA, CleanBirth.org trains local nurses in the use and distribution of Clean Birth Kits. OVA continuously monitors the nurses, tracks the use of the kits and reports back to me via email.
The second organization that I teamed up with, AYZH, manufactures high-quality Clean Birth Kits in India and mails them directly to OVA in Laos. Since the kits are shipped directly, I do not need to be on the ground to ensure quality-control or resupply.
I travel to Laos twice per year to see everything for myself. In the US, I spend all of my kid-free hours raising funds and awareness – and loving every minute of it!
3. Find help. None of this would be possible without the support of my family: my husband, mother-in-law and parents. Having the people closest to you believe in your cause is so important, especially if you are working 30 hours per week and not getting paid.
I have also asked for help from maternal health experts and volunteers. By going to the experts, to those already doing the work, I have been able to capitalize on best practices. Volunteers can be invaluable. When someone competently takes on a task, no matter how small, it enables me to move onto another to-do item.
I can honestly say that I am living my dream life. I still hit the playground every afternoon — after 4 hours of working to promote safe birth. When I travel to Laos, I pack in more in 2 weeks than I could have imagined in my pre-kids wanderings. No time to waste, I’ve got kids at home missing their mama.
If you are reading this and thinking: “I have a passion for _____ but I don’t know where to start,” I urge you to just start. Find a small first project. Make time each day to work on it. Get advice from others who are doing similar work. Ask for help.
If your goal is to help others, you will find support from many places, often you just need to ask. I have been overwhelmed by the unexpected generosity and support of friends and perfect strangers.
So use your passion, get out there and change the world in the way only you can!
What’s Your Passion?
This is an original post written for World Moms Blog by Kristyn Zalota.
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Kristyn brings her years of experience as an entrepreneur and serial volunteer to CleanBirth.org. She holds a MA, has run small businesses in Russia and the US, and has volunteered in Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos and Uganda on projects related to women’s empowerment. After having children, Kristyn became an advocate for mothers in the US, as a doula and Lamaze educator, and abroad, as the Founder of CleanBirth.org. She is honored to provide nurses in Laos with the supplies, funding and training they need to lower maternal and infant mortality rates in their villages.
Kristyn brings her years of experience as an entrepreneur and serial volunteer to CleanBirth.org. She holds a MA, has run small businesses in Russia and the US, and has volunteered in Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos and Uganda on projects related to women’s empowerment.
After having children, Kristyn became an advocate for mothers in the US, as a doula and Lamaze educator, and abroad, as the Founder of CleanBirth.org. She is honored to provide nurses in Laos with the supplies, funding and training they need to lower maternal and infant mortality rates in their villages.
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