by Melanie Oda (Japan) | Mar 4, 2013 | Japan, Uncategorized, Womanhood, World Moms Blog
It’s hard being female.
I think that’s holds true wherever you might find yourself in the world, but perhaps it is especially true here in Japan, where women have to deal with a well-established patriarchy as well as facing pressure from the older women in their lives to stay home, stay quiet, stay under control.
Perhaps it is ironic and surprising to some, to find that in this corner of East Asia, where women are still not allowed into Sumo rings for fear of “contaminating” sacred ground, there is a day set aside to celebrate the girls.
On March 3rd, families rich and poor, pause to pray for the health and happiness of their female children. In Japanese, this day is called Hina Matsuri, which literally translates as “Princess Festival.” Most English sources refer to it as “Girls Day” or “Doll Festival.”
When a female child is born, during her first year the family will purchase an elaborate set of dolls representing the traditional imperial court. No expense is spared, as it is believed the dolls will take her place in the event of natural disaster and will help protect her from sickness. Many families take pride in procuring a seven-level set, complete with the Empress and Emperor in many-layered kimono, the Empress’s attendants, musicians, and various objects found in the royal court. For others, space is a factor, but not to worry! Three tier sets and one tier sets are also popular. (more…)
If you ask Melanie Oda where she is from, she will answer "Georgia." (Unless you ask her in Japanese. Then she will say "America.") It sounds nice, and it's a one-word answer, which is what most people expect. The truth is more complex. She moved around several small towns in the south growing up. Such is life when your father is a Southern Baptist preacher of the hellfire and brimstone variety.
She came to Japan in 2000 as an assistant language teacher, and has never managed to leave. She currently resides in Yokohama, on the outskirts of Tokyo (but please don't tell anyone she described it that way! Citizens of Yokohama have a lot of pride). No one is more surprised to find her here, married to a Japanese man and with two bilingual children (aged four and seven), than herself. And possibly her mother.
You can read more about her misadventures in Asia on her blog, HamakkoMommy.
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by Dee Harlow (Laos) | Feb 28, 2013 | Culture, Discipline, Family, Kids, Living Abroad, Motherhood, Multicultural, Parenting, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
What are the rules for parenting other children or giving parenting advice or just plain parenting interference? And what is the appropriate response?
I imagine it differs by country and culture, by personality and preference. I’ve been scolded in both Mexico — and now, in Laos — about not dressing my children “warmly” enough during the “cool” season: (Here, what is considered “cold” to the locals is perfect and refreshing for us to enjoy, say, in jeans and a t-shirt without wrapping ourselves in sweaters and down jackets like everyone else around us.) With an understanding nod and smile, I always reply with a cheerful yet emphatic, “To us, this isn’t cold. It’s perfect!”
For all the concern in other countries about my children being cold, there is a surprising lack of concern for their over-consumption of sweets. One time while waiting to board our plane, a troupe of Korean men and women each gave my kids a piece of candy, repeatedly. After one or two, I asked my kids to politely say, “Thank you.” After the fourth, fifth, sixth piece, I made them do the same while I motion a polite, “Thank you, but please, no more.” Then, when they cojoled my kids to take even more, I resorted to a stern-faced, “NO thank you,” and prohibited my kids from escaping my firm grasp. Enough is enough no matter how kind the gesture.
(Another candy incident that elicited an immediate “No” from me without even a “Thank you” was returning to our hotel in Vietnam late at night with two obviously over-tired kids and having the doorman hand them a bowl (yes, a bowl!) full of candy to grab!)
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One of Dee’s earliest memories was flying on a trans-Pacific flight from her birthplace in Bangkok, Thailand, to the United States when she was six years old. Ever since then, it has always felt natural for her to criss-cross the globe. So after growing up in the northeast of the US, her life, her work and her curiosity have taken her to over 32 countries. And it was in the 30th country while serving in the Peace Corps in Uzbekistan that she met her husband. Together they embarked on a career in international humanitarian aid working in refugee camps in Darfur, Sudan, and the tsunami torn coast of Aceh, Indonesia.
Dee is now a full-time mother of three-year old twins and continues to criss-cross the globe every two years with her husband who is in the US Foreign Service. They currently live in Vientiane, Laos, and are loving it! You can read about their adventures at Wanderlustress.
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by Meredith (USA) | Feb 18, 2013 | Motherhood, Parenting, Uncategorized, USA, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
Last month, I “unfriended” someone on Facebook for the first time. In fact, I had to Google how to unfriend someone. It was December 21, one week after the horrific massacre in Newtown, Connecticut. Like most people in America and around the world, I was shaken to my core from the events which transpired on December 14, 2012.
Not only could I not fathom what must have been going through the teacher’s minds on that terrible day (even though I was a teacher myself), but I could not get over the twenty first graders who were murdered. I could not even look at my own first grader for weeks afterwards without getting teary eyed thinking of the parents who would not get to hug and kiss their first graders goodnight.
That is why, when I logged on to my Facebook newsfeed and saw three of a Facebook friend’s children, ages 6, 4 and 2, holding semi automatic rifles under a caption which read “This is how we do Christmas in Texas” one week after the Connecticut shootings, that I could no longer have that person as a friend on Facebook. A line had been crossed, and I could not look away.
Some may say I made a rash decision and I should not “unfriend” someone because of one post, but that post in particular was so upsetting to me that there was no other possible action I could take. I just knew I didn’t want to see it on my newsfeed again. I understand that people have guns to hunt and I respect that, but I do not and most likely will never feel that guns in the hands of young children, even as a joke, will ever be okay with me. Yes, even after being escorted all over Lagos by armed guards and being around guns on a regular basis, I do not feel that guns in the hands of children are ever okay. (more…)
Meredith finds it difficult to tell anyone where she is from exactly! She grew up in several states, but mainly Illinois. She has a Bachelor of Science degree in Elementary Education from the University of Illinois at Champaign/Urbana which is also where she met her husband. She taught kindergarten for seven years before she adopted her son from Guatemala and then gave birth to her daughter two years leter. She moved to Lagos, Nigeria with her husband and two children in July 2009 for her husband's work. She and her family moved back to the U.S.this summer(August 2012) and are adjusting to life back in the U.S. You can read more about her life in Lagos and her adjustment to being back on her blog: We Found Happiness.
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by World Moms Blog | Feb 16, 2013 | Saturday Sidebar, World Moms Blog
This week’s Saturday Sidebar Question comes from World Moms Blog writer Dee Harlow. She asked our writers,
“How can we raise our children to become self-assured men and women not focused on how they look?”
Check out what some of our World Moms had to say…
Young girl playing dress-up
Dee Harlow of Laos writes: “Under-praise cuteness/beauty? Over praise intelligence/capability? Be the role model? Already I rarely dress up, wear no makeup, air dry my hair, use no accessories, I am always in flats, but my daughter will still be influenced through classmates, advertisements, doll play, etc. We deprive our girl of a lot of the ‘girly’ stuff for now because it (unfortunately) will come. Nail polish already has, last month, from school friends.I am concerned that just because our son is a boy that we don’t have to be sensitive to certain things. My husband always says that because he is big, strong, athletic and coordinated that he will be able to overcome a lot of social concerns through sports. But really? Do we overlook certain issues with boys because of stereotypes, too?”
EcoZiva of Brazil writes: “Many of my son’s friends are extremely picky eaters and very skinny. They are all about the same size, aged 8-9, but my son (who is average in weight, while we can literally see his friends’ ribs) is about 10 kg (22 lbs) heavier than them. Once I made a comment at home on how skinny one of them was (how I regret that!). I don’t know if it had to do with that or with other things he has heard, but now every once in a while he will comment on how he is “fat” (he is not at all!!) and how he doesn’t want to surpass so many kilos. He hasn’t gone as far as try to diet or anything like that, but he does like to weigh himself and will say a “hurray” if his weight hasn’t changed. It really bothers me.
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World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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by Martine de Luna (Philippines) | Feb 15, 2013 | International, Motherhood, Philippines, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
The “class” at the WAHMderful Life Workshop. (Photo courtesy of Manila Workshops)
In the last few months, I’ve seen just how powerful connections are between like-minded moms. That may sound funny, coming from a person who works alone, at home, with no one but husband, kid and kitchen as her constant companions! It’s the reality, of course, of many women like me, who are what I lovingly call “WAHMderful” women.
Being a work at home mom is challenging because you are often isolated, on your own. I felt this way, and I yearned for some form of community to fill in this void. As a mom, I needed to connect with other women who knew what I was going through as a mom who worked from home. I was hungry for the companionship of fellow moms who understood my dreams, my goals, my intentions as a parent.
And so, I made a bold intention, which I broadcast to the universe (and the people who read my blog): I wanted to create an event by work at home women, for work at home women. This event would connect, inspire and empower the work-at-home community in Manila to be the best mothers and homemakers they could be.
In short: It happened. Twice, in fact! 
We recently held our second “WAHMderful Life” workshop here in Manila. It was a meeting of the minds, as around 70 women (and two dads!) got together for a day of learning, support and empowerment. Our topic? Well, working from home, naturally! Aside from that, we had specific streams about actual work-at-home jobs for moms. It was all pretty informative! In fact, it was so successful (just like the first event, last October 2012), that we are re-running this workshop again this year. Best of all, I got to see one of my life list goals come to fruition.
And you know what? Seeing the fruit just motivates me to pursue more of my goals for the WAHM community. (more…)
Martine is a work-at-home Mom and passionate blogger. A former expat kid, she has a soft spot for international efforts, like WMB. While she's not blogging, she's busy making words awesome for her clients, who avail of her marketing writing, website writing, and blog consulting services. Martine now resides in busy, sunny Manila, the Philippines, with her husband, Ton, and toddler son, Vito Sebastian. You can find her blogging at DaintyMom.com.
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by Ms. V. (South Korea) | Feb 11, 2013 | International, Motherhood, Uncategorized, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
Here in Korea, there is a wonderful program that allows outsiders to experience life in many of the hundreds of Buddhist temples all over the country. Some programs are only for one or two nights, but some are for weeks or months or even up to a year. During your time there, you follow the exact schedule of the monks and nuns who live there, you wear clothing that is issued to you upon arrival, and you strictly observe all of the customs of the temple.
I recently enjoyed two days and one night at Golgul Temple, just outside the town of Gyeongju, which is about 2.5 hours from Seoul via high speed train. There are many options for Templestays, as they are called, much closer to home, but I wanted to go to Golgulsa when I learned that it is the home of sunmudo, a zen martial art. Yes, you read that right. Zen martial arts. I’d heard that it was a combination of Yoga, Qi Gong, and Tai Chi and that was basically all I needed to hear to be motivated to go have a look myself. Mostly I was curious about unwrapping this seeming contradiction – how could martial arts be Zen or Buddhist?
The land where Golgulsa sits has been a site of Buddhist worship since the 6th century A.D. There is a 1,500 year old stone Buddha carving in the limestone cliffs of Mount Hamwol. The main temple shrine sits just below this carving and the rest of the temple buildings are scattered alongside the steep path to the carving. The setting is beautiful and peaceful and the air was intoxicatingly crisp and clean, especially compared to the air in Seoul. (more…)
Ms. V returned from a 3-year stint in Seoul, South Korea and is now living in the US in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her partner, their two kids, three ferocious felines, and a dog named Avon Barksdale. She grew up all over the US, mostly along the east coast, but lived in New York City longer than anywhere else, so considers NYC “home.” Her love of travel has taken her all over the world and to all but four of the 50 states.
Ms. V is contemplative and sacred activist, exploring the intersection of yoga, new monasticism, feminism and social change. She is the co-director and co-founder of Samdhana-Karana Yoga: A Healing Arts Center, a non-profit yoga studio and the spiritual director for Hab Community. While not marveling at her beautiful children, she enjoys reading, cooking, and has dreams of one day sleeping again.
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It’s hard being female.
