So far, in this crazy adventure of life abroad there haven’t been too many times that we, as a family, have had to be apart. For the most part we are overseas, but we are overseas together as a family.
A few months ago my grandfather passed away and up came the dilemma of who should make the long trip back to the US for his memorial service. After searching flights that were FAR too expensive and envisioning 2 jet lagged little ones attempting big family events, we decided it would be wisest for me to make the trip alone.
Super dad agreed to take sick leave and have “adventure camp” with the boys while I was away. They were set. But what about me???I absolutely hate being away from my husband and kids.
Give me a girl’s night out or a short weekend away and I am loving the breath of fresh air, but crossing the ocean and times zones makes me a nervous wreck.
In the week leading up to the trip I could tell that our 4 yr old Jackson was becoming more anxious about my leaving, so I tried to get creative about what I would do to help him mark the time and enjoy his time anxiety free. What I came up with wasn’t anything amazing or novel, but it was something that brought them comfort while I was away and also helped them fill those many hours.
I wrote a card for each day I was gone. I put a big number on each card, so they would know which to open each day. And then I told them they couldn’t open it until after nap. That way they had already survived most of the day, and I figured I would throw my husband a lifeline and give them an afternoon activity during those “witching hours”.
In each envelope I wrote the boys a letter telling them how much I loved them, and then I told them to hunt for something around the house. One day I hid a box of blue jello (a big treat) and a cheap Ikea fish ice-cube mold. Another day, I hid a puzzle that I had stored away for a while, and I knew they would be excited to see it again.
And another, I hid watermelon slice ice cream in the freezer. They had begged for them all summer, and I knew it would be a fun distraction. And yet another day I tied up some of our books about nature and told them to take the bug dictionary into the forest on a hike and to look for bugs.
Yet, another day, I told them to ask daddy to google manatees and dolphins on the computer. I was in Florida, and I knew it would be fun for them to see some of the things I was seeing. Again, none of these ideas were novel, but they kept them busy and were reminded that I was thinking of them even when I was away.
Each day I would call to check in, and my 4-year-old would enthusiastically tell me about their treasure hunt and how many cards were left. He was able to see that he only had so many sleeps left. Truth be told, the letters and activities were just as beneficial for me as I prepared for my trip, as it was for them while I was gone.
I felt like I was able to slow down and instead of being anxious and nervous about my travels, I was able to do something useful like tell my family how much I loved them. If you try this out, don’t feel pressured to go out and buy a bunch of stuff. Keep it simple and make the focus on your family feeling loved!
When you have to be away from your children what do you do to feel close despite the distance?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Kristen Kolb in Switzerland. Kristen can be found on her blog, Seasons Worth Savoring.
Photo credit to the author.
What a beautiful idea! I love it!
What a fantastic idea!!! I love everything about this!! You absolutely made the best out of you being away from your kids. So glad it worked out.
*My condolences to you and your family on your loss of your grandfather.
Wow Kirstin! This post is super awesome 🙂
This was such a creative way to express your love and take it easy on the daddy too. I am sure the kids must have had fun!
that is a FANTASTIC idea! love it!
I leave once or twice a year abroad without the kids. It is very hard to leave but once I am out the door I am more han fine. As a stay at homely for seven years I find this the one time I can be selfish and do what I love most besides my family: travel and see the world. The trips make me a better person and better mom. I find myself again and cherish my family even more when I come home . Many moms think I am crazy yet travel makes me who I am and was before kids.
You’re such a good mom!
Wow Kristen! What a great idea! I have been away from the family (for a few days for work) before the baby was born (she is now a year and a half, so it’s been a while). My son and husband came up with fun games on their own, while I was gone. And I am sure that I missed them more than they missed me (they were too busy having fun, building legos and watching silly movies) , and we all made it through without a hitch. Truth be told, I rather enjoyed some quiet without everyone to rejuvenate. I look forward to weaning the baby to be able to do it again 🙂
I hope you had a safe trip, and I am sorry for your loss.
I love this idea! So fun for everyone. My husband just left for a month and we all hid notes and drawings in his luggage. I will definitely remember your idea the next time I travel — thanks for sharing!
Kristen, this is so creative. I wish I were more creative. I would have loved to be on the receiving end of your cards. How like an advent calendar and what a great way to keep things in a child’s perspective! Thanks for sharing the great idea.
I’m never away from my kids for as long as your trip, usually just a night or weekend, so I haven’t had to come up with survival skills like this before. Ironically, my husband travels on business a lot, like so many other dads I’m sure, yet we never expect dads to come up with such brilliance…Why is that?
Kristen,
When I first read this, I was getting really emotional! I could feel how much you loved and cared about your children. And I love this thoughtful idea!!!
Congrats on your first non-interview post on World Moms Blog! 🙂
Jen 🙂
*applaud* What a brilliant idea you have there! The kids must have had such an adventure! Interestingly, I’ve been talking to the spouse about going away for a weekend trip with my girl friends, but the thought of it had me worrying how well my boy will be cared for (knowing how clueless my hubby can be when it comes to the boy’s daily routine). But that said, I do hope to get away for a short while to have a bit of me-time and to connect with my friends.
What a wonderful project for all involved! I am definitely going to utilize this…even if I am not away. I can see this as an excellent way to keep entertained on school breaks.
I did something like this on a much smaller scale one night when I wasn’t going to be home for bedtime and I knew my son had been having a particularly tough day. I wrote him out a card and hid it in his room. I say a specific thing to him every night before bed, and I put it on the card so he’d find it before getting tucked in. He told my husband he was going to keep it forever.
And I’m with you. I like a good night out, but I don’t like being separated for longer periods of time. I went away for a long weekend with my sisters, and whenever I called home I cried. Not because I wasn’t having fun, but it’s just hard to be away from the little ones. What is it about their tiny voices over the phone that make them seem even more young and adorable?
And my condolences to you and your family on the passing of your grandfather. While still in the same country as our extended families, we live far away from them, and I know that must be tough…wanting to be in 2 places at once, especially in these moments.
Thanks for your post, and welcome to WMB!
Thanks everyone! I hope it’s an idea we can all use, on a busy day or a long trip! For those of you that have traveling husbands encourage them to do it…maybe not for everyday but maybe one or two! 🙂
Kristen
Really creative. Ahh—to think back to the days when i had energy for things like that.
It is hard being overseas for family-we miss a lot of the good stuff and the hard stuff too.