We live in New York City, in one of the busiest areas, mid-town Manhattan and there are many benefits to living in the city. The kids go, regularly, to museums. I walk 10 minutes to get to and from work. When the kids were babies, I was able to walk home and nurse them at lunch time, or we would meet in the park across the street if the weather was nice. I have a doorman who can accept any deliveries when I am not home. I can shop for my groceries on-line and schedule a delivery whenever I need to. On days where I am working late, I have hundreds of restaurants literally at my finger tips and can order any cuisine to be delivered.
There are also many cons to living in the city. We, the 4 of us, live in a 2 bedroom apartment, approximately 1100 square feet (102.2 square meters). I know in other countries this may seem like a rather large apartment, in fact, my cousin in France lives in smaller apartment than us with 2 boys. But in the US, where everything is bigger, such as the furniture, serving portions and cars, it feels small. Especially when I look at the house that I could buy, for the same price, in the suburbs. We don’t have much space for storage, which is probably not such a bad thing, since it gets me to purge lots of unused items.
The biggest downfall though, in regards to my children, is the lack of outdoor space. Sure, there are quite a few parks and playgrounds within walking distance, as well as the beautiful Central Park, which is either a short cab/bus ride away (or a long walk on a nice day). However, there is no backyard where the kids can play and run while I prepare dinner, or while I clean. So instead, I pop in a movie or turn on some favorite cartoons for the kids to watch while I do those things.
I have some ground rules set regarding TV watching: basically, no TV before 6 pm, and it is off when we start dinner. In the morning, they can watch something while I prepare breakfast, and on school days it’s off at 8am (on weekends, I allow it a little longer while we clean). The only exception to these rules are when there is a sporting event that my husband wants to watch during the weekend day, or if they are really too sick to do much else.
What I have noticed, is when you live in the suburbs, the kids run outside from the morning until night. In fact, my husband often says, that when he was a kid growing up on Cape Cod, he would be outside playing with the neighborhood kids all day, no matter the season, and only came in to eat. In the city, going outside to play is an event that you have to prepare for… make sure to pack enough diapers for the little one, make sure there are snacks and drinks packed for everyone, have a spare change of clothes for the kids, make sure to pack the hats and sunscreen in the summer, or hats and gloves in the winter, pack some park toys, i.e. balls, bubbles, coloring books, etc. Every time I leave home, I look like I am leaving on vacation, I have so much stuff! What choice do I have? The kids need to get outside and run around for a while, blow off some steam… it’s only natural.
Recently, my 6 year old has started saying (more like, whining) that he doesn’t like going outside. He doesn’t want to go to the park and he wants to stay home and watch tv or a movie! To which I always respond, that he doesn’t have a choice, we are going and it’s a beautiful day outside. I usually end up bribing him, by bringing his scooter along, which I would have brought anyway. Or with the prospect of getting a juice, which is really a special treat for the kids.
I worry, have I been too lenient with the electronic forms of entertainment? So much so that now, my son would rather stay indoors than go run and play? Would we be better off in a house where he could just play in the yard until it was time for dinner? Maybe the kids need a house. We certainly could use the room (every nook and cranny is stuffed with toys in our place). The kids will eventually need their own room, although they currently love to share the room they have. But, I love the city and all that it has to offer….. if we could take advantage of it all. Does that make me a bad mother? Well, if it does, consider me guilty as charged!
How easy is it for your kids to get out and play? Do you compensate with electronic entertainment?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Maman Aya of New York City, USA.
Photo credit to the author.
Maman Aya,
We lived in a similarly sized apartment as you for a year before we bought our house when our oldest was a baby. And, we were just in a a large apartment block overlooking a major highway IN the suburbs, far away from the culture and excitement that your family has at their fingertips!
I felt similar to you — my daughter was beginning to walk, and life seemed so much easier if we had a backyard. I had a backyard growing up as a kid, and during the summers, would be out on my bike with my friends until it was time to eat, too.
There is no right or wrong way to live: city or suburbs or rural! But, if you are feeling that your children are missing out on being in nature more, maybe that is a good focus for how you spend your vacations or summer weekends to create that balance. Maybe life is trying to make a camper out of you, city girl. 😉
I enjoy the window into your life in NYC!
Jen 🙂
LOL Jen – I actually love to camp (and have been many times in my late teens/early 20’s), my husband on the other hand (who grew up in the suburbs) never camped in his life and has no interest….but I love the idea! We def do try to take fun filled, outdoors vacations. But maybe we need to find a better way to do summer weekends (maybe we’ll just come down to your house and have the 4 kids run around together on a nice summer day 🙂 ).
Dear Maman Aya,
You’re doing great & have absolutely NOTHING to feel guilty about!!
My kids are practically “all grown up” now (oldest is 20 & youngest 17 years old). We live in a house in Cape Town. Even so, my son ALWAYS preferred indoor to outdoor activities, whereas my daughter is hardly ever home!
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s nobody’s “fault” if one child prefers watching movies to running around outside, and you shouldn’t think that moving to the suburbs would change that!
That’s a good point Simona… I hadn’t thought of it that way. You should see how my son chooses to go to school everyday (button down shirt, tucked into his pants, with a belt… I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised that he’d rather be indoors – LOL). 🙂
Thanks for stopping by.
Maman Aya,
I feel we all do the best we can with what we have available to us. You’re not a bad Mom for making the best of your situation, and there are always pros and cons to the places we choose to live. I have moments of wishing our boys were more ‘city’ smart – we have a constant stream of muddy and ripped clothing! While I do value that I can be in my pyjamas, open the door and the boys can just go and play outside, it is also an effort for us to get museums and art-galleries and I can’t imagine the cost of having food delivered to our house!
The grass is always greener, isn’t it Karyn? 🙂
Move to Westchester into a guest house or attached family house for your sister and your soon-to-be brother in law to move in to and enjoy each others company. You will have a built in babysitter and she will have a built in dog sitter…sounds pretty awesome! The city will pale in comparison.
What a brilliant idea Tati! Why didn’t I think of that? LOL! 😉
xoxo
“Backyard time” is MANDATORY by us (even during our lovely Canadian winters. That’s what snow pants are made for!). My kids are almost 3, 1, and newborn. Our yard is fenced in and backs directly onto a very busy jogging path that runs through the city. Our kitchen opens out to the yard and I can see/access it easily from there. I keep an eye & ear on the older kids when they are playing outside but my only realistic worry is the two of them fighting and hurting each other (so for now they take turns doing “backyard time”). I make sure to kick my oldest out every day before dinner so she can amuse herself and get her energy out.
Wow Gertrude! That sounds wonderful (especially that the yard is completely fenced in and safe). Even more compelling reason to move out to the suburbs. 🙂
I live in a rural area adjacent to suburban Seattle. We have an acre up against the woods with a full playset, tons of toys, a huge driveway on which to ride bikes. There’s even a trail system in the neighborhood. That said, my 7 year old son STILL asks to play video games constantly. So I guess what I am saying is, even if you had that space, we have a generation of gamers and screen watchers due to the advancement of technology, gadgets, and the social customs surrounding them. Like you, I have to enforce rules about screen time. My kids love playing outside, but they love games and tv too. My son and his school friends talk about video games constantly. I don’t think it’s all location…. it’s cultural. You are giving your kids so much in the city, and it all will work out because you are really thinking it through.