Relationships are the key to life…
Lately, in my personal life there have been many changes. And I started wondering about relationships and how much importance and attachment we give to them. And the fact that certain relationships make or break our life.
For instance, the relationship each one of us have with our children as mothers is so precious and may seem to signify the epitome of any wholesome relationship. But what is it that we share with our children that we cherish in this relationship? Love is a very poignant word, and I sometimes wonder the real meaning of it. Maybe it is the capacity to give your life for your child? Perhaps!
And then we have these relationships with our spouses and meaningful others. Other than physical intimacy, emotional attachment and love (again, that word) what else do we share with them? An interdependency, trust, common value system and a few other things like this. But what is a relationship based on?
And one day my friend, Geetha, told me, maybe in a good enduring relationship the two people have to grow! The commonalities in them which brought them closer and helped them start a relationship should also grow. It is continuous growth that sustains a relationship, makes it healthy and fresh. This got me thinking.
Yes children grow in so many ways. They have their entire life ahead of them, which, we, as parents help them forge. And they help us parents, grow in so many ways. They teach us tolerance, patience, acceptance, and maybe help us understand love better. So, yes, there is growth in a parent-child relationship. Both ways!
With spouses, yes! There is a lot of growth. No doubt about that. That is an entirely different topic with so much of mutual development and progress between partners because of the other partner.
With co-workers, with neighbours, with friends, with relatives, we all have certain elements of growth associated with it.
And then when it comes to these relationships which have soured, which leave scars within us, which makes us bitter, I wonder what really went wrong?
I have had soured relationships, and I have thought so many times, how I could have made them better, how I could have prevented bitterness to creep within them? And no matter what I think or the solutions which I have conjured up, some relationships just wither away. And I have no explanations, but only sorrow and bitterness. I work so hard at certain relationships, but they never seem to go ahead anywhere.
But there are certain other people, with whom I just need to connect my eyes with and it hits off from there!
Why so much difference?
And the answer came, as the key word – Growth!
Yes, there is love, trust, affection, mutual dependence and so much more of the same kind of things too.
But growth and evolution is the key. Helping each other grow and evolve has been vital to any relationship since the start of humanity and time. Growth and evolution has been the womb for even civilization.
Both people sharing a relationship should gain and also help the other evolve. Energy should flow bi-directionally. If it is unidirectional, the relationship just gets wasted away.
Here, at World Moms Blog, I feel, we, mothers, who have become more than friends and affectionate acquaintances, share a very basic relationship with each other. It is the need to bring up a very beautiful child from within to outside.
To keep the world a good place for our children and the future generation to live.
To help our fellow human beings in various ways which the World Voice contributors and editors are working on.
To basically grow and help other mothers grow.
To evolve and help humanity evolve in different ways.
Today, I voice my gratitude to various organisations like World Moms Blog, UN, WHO, UNICEF, Shot@Life, GAVI and the like which is dedicated to growth and evolution of relationships with humanity.
What recent experiences in your personal life made you grow a little more? For me, it has been to understand relationships better!
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Purnima, our Indian mother writing from Chennai, India. Her contributions to the World Moms Blog can be found here. She also rambles at The Alchemist’s Blog.
Photo credit to Anesha Isis. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
Purnima Ramakrishnan
Purnima Ramakrishnan is an UNCA award winning journalist and the recipient of the fellowship in Journalism by International Reporting Project, John Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies. Her International reports from Brazil are found here . She is also the recipient of the BlogHer '13 International Activist Scholarship Award . She is a Senior Editor at World Moms Blog who writes passionately about social and other causes in India. Her parental journey is documented both here at World Moms Blog and also at her personal Blog, The Alchemist's Blog. She can be reached through this page . She also contributes to Huffington Post . Purnima was once a tech-savvy gal who lived in the corporate world of sleek vehicles and their electronics. She has a Master's degree in Electronics Engineering, but after working for 6 years as a Design Engineer, she decided to quit it all to become a Stay-At-Home-Mom to be with her son! This smart mom was born and raised in India, and she has moved to live in coastal India with her husband, who is a physician, and her son who is in primary grade school. She is a practitioner and trainer of Heartfulness Meditation.
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This is something profound. I need to read it many times and comprehend fully,and apply to relationships myself.Congratulations. Please continue. Maybe a book someday !
Thank you. Hopefully maybe someday!! 🙂
There is a saying that people come into our lives for a reason, for a season or for life. Sometimes relationships just end because they’ve served their purpose!
I sense you’re like me, Purnima, you cherish all relationships and nurture them as best you can. Then are left hurt and bewildered because despite your best efforts, the relationship just ended. I used to suffer a lot like that. I would think that “if only” I’d done (or not done) something, we’d still be friends.
Now that I’m older, I’ve learnt that “if onlys” are a waste of time and peace of mind! I still cherish my relationships but (just like I have to accept that one day soon my children will leave home) I now accept that sometimes I have to let go of old ties to form new ones.
I’m also super grateful to be part of the WMB community. I love what we stand for and the genuine care and support that is felt around the world! 🙂
Simona, Thats a fresh new perspective to what I am thinking right now – relationships ends because they have served their purpose. Thank you. I have to think more along those terms.
Relationships are key! You are right — they’ve got to be worked on and valued by both parties.
Thank you for this post from India, Purnima! 🙂
Jen 🙂
I totally agree! They need to be ‘valued’ by both the persons. Thats the key!!
It has been my priviledge, Jen 🙂
I think it’s more than just growth. I think the key is that we all want to feel loved and we all want to feel like have something of worth to contribute and give others and that we are appreciated.
Why are our kids the epitome of loving relationships? I think it’s because our love for our kids is all about unconditional love. The kind of love we wish we received and gave to everyone.
Hope all the changes in your life are helping you to grow and I hope you are finding some peace and tranquility. 🙂
Susie, you are absolutely right. I guess, I think love is for growth too. The ability to love and receive love is a growth in our persona.
The ability to love unconditionally is just amzing is’nt it? I wish it just spreads beyond the mother-child relationship too 🙂
I agree about the unconditional love part. Wont it be great if relationships evolve into that kind?
Yes, the changes in my life are helping me to grow 🙂
Just being married to my husband has made me to grow terribly, not to mention having kids and all the responsibilities that comes with it.
I think many times we don’t see the scale of growth we’ve reached until somebody points it out, say: “you have changed”. I discussed this topic with my husband just yesterday, and it was an eye opening discussion.
I think that key to a good relationship is communication. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate! That I have learned from my husband as well.
Husbands are wonderful growth machines, aren they?!! They help us wives grow and grow and grow with patience and tolerance and acceptance… lol!
Ok, jokes apart, yes, I agree with your husband, Communication is a vital key to any relationship.
What a fabulous post, Purnima! You are so right, in all the relationships I have had that have faded or failed, it is the rate of growth in one or other of us that has ultimately caused that break-down. Thought provoking indeed.
Thank you Karyn 🙂
Rate of growth is another factor which causes a relationship to crack down, isnt it? How true!
Purnima, this is thought provoking indeed! We are each constantly evolving and in the relationships we value it’s important to make sure that despite that growth and change the connection remains. Trust is huge, and knowing that you have each others backs. I love our WMB community and the shared goal we have of bringing our children up as global citizens in a better world.
Agree with you that, even with growth, trust makes a relationship endure. I find retaining trust through thick and thin in itself is a strength of character from both sides and thus a growth.
I love this thought that our children are global citizens 🙂 !!!
A group of girlfriends and I were just talking about this, both within friendships and romantic relationships. Many of us were pondering what makes some relationships endure versus fail. We talked about the seasons in a relationship and how people come together or break apart with change and growth. I’ll share ths post with them all!
Thank you for sharing it across, Tara.
Oh, dont we all change and move apart, and well, the relationship becomes seasonal.