Potty training my three year old son has not been easy. Heโs been resistant to the idea for quite some time. I chalk this up to two things. First, he has a willful spirit and often rejects my proposals on principle. Even when dealing with treats or play, if it isnโt his idea, heโll pass. Second, my son verbalizes to me regularly that he is still a baby.
On one hand, Iโm touched to hear my child to tell me he wants to stay my baby. On the other hand, I donโt want him using this baby-business as an excuse to hold back. I pointed out things like, โBut babies donโt ride two wheel bikes, eat ice cream, and go to the moviesโ (all things he loves to do). He corrected me and said, โNo. Babies do ride bikes. Babies do eat ice cream.โ Etc.
I also offered reassurance that even though he is changing from a baby to a little boy, heโll always be MY baby, and I will love him just the same. He replied, โIโm not a boy. Iโm a baby.โ
Basically, I let it lie. Iโd ask him from time to time if he felt like trying on underwear or sitting on the potty. When he continually said no, I didnโt force it.
Then recently I went out for the day with a friend, and when I returned my husband had my son in underwear. I hadnโt planned on potty training, but since we finally had an opening, I went for it.
It was rocky at first in all the usual ways. There are so many things for little ones to coordinate. The messes and the emotional outpouring were epic, and the more I pushed, the more my son resisted.
Then one night I walked into the bathroom to find him using the potty. He looked right at me and said, โBabies use the potty.โ It was in this a-ha moment that I remembered that the moon was made of cream cheese.
Let me back up. My older son is very logical and literal, so often he and my younger son get into these arguments over nonsense. Little brother will make claims like volcanoes shoot sharks into the ocean, and big brother will correct him on the real world facts. Mayhem ensues.
One day I had a talk with my older son and explained that a) his brother is 3 years old and has a wild imagination that we need to support, and b) little brother loves to get big brotherโs goat. If he thinks heโs bothering you with his fantastical stories, then those stories will only grow.
I asked my older son to just let my younger son be. If he claims the moon is made of cream cheese, then let him think the moon is made of cream cheese. Donโt argue the point. So it has been common place that when my older son starts getting frustrated over some tall tale my younger son is telling, one of us will announceย thatย the moon is made of cream cheese as a reminder to just enjoy the madness.
Back to baby on the potty. My younger, spirited son has been very clear all along that he is a baby, but he also has said that babies do all sorts of things, like climb monkey bars and make dare-devil skid turns on a bike. Taking my own advice, I shouldnโt have argued the point of him being a baby, but instead encouraged the baby to use the bathroom. All this little guy ever wants is to exercise his ideas and individuality. I love this about him, and I just need to remember that during these life transitions.
Weโre six days into potty training at the time that Iโm writing this, and the progress he has made is just amazing. Every time he does his business, he comes running up to me for a hug and asks if I am proud of him, which of course, I show exuberantly. He often falls into my embrace and says heโs still my baby, which I now affirm without pause.
I am grateful for the lessons my children teach me every day. As for my younger son, he continually reminds me to dream big under a cream cheese moon.
How did potty training go in your household, and what lessons did you learn from it?
This has been an original post to World Moms Blog by Tara B. of Washington (State) USA.
Photo creditย to the author.
Tara, I love the idea of a cream cheese moon!
Yes, potty training. It’s been the one issue I wish I had asked the grandmothers, more specific questions about – before we began. Not really my most fun time as a parent, shall we say!
Such a challenge, but so many life lessons for us all ๐
I was really lucky because the Day Care my son attended had a stellar potty training system. ๐ He had been dry during the day for quite a while, but I still put a nappy on him at night and nap times at home because I really wasn’t keen to deal with even more laundry!
One evening, as I was about to put a nappy on him, my son announced “I don’t want a nappy. Nappies are for babies and I’m a big boy” (he was 2 years old at the time)! I simply replied; “Ok, no nappy tonight, but if you wet the bed I’ll put one on you tomorrow night because I don’t want wet sheets.”
Believe it or not, that was it! My son never wet the bed. Not even once!
My second child went to the same Day Care, but she did have the occasional “oepsie”. Still, she was also totally potty trained by age 3. I give full credit to my wonderful Day Care for this!
Your daycare should write a manual for us all! And I think you hit the nail on the head when note that your son decided to skip his nighttime nappy. This is one of those things that our children have to decide to do, no matter how ready we parents are. Thanks for sharing your stories!
We should introduce our 3 year olds Tara! They seem to be kindred, stubborn spirits :-). I had my son pretty much potty trained (except at night) when he was 2. It was so easy – I mistakenly thought it would be the same for my daughter….. After all, everyone says “girls are faster”, “the younger one learns from the older”, etc, etc… All of the stereotypes were wrong, and the more I pushed, the more she resisted. She too insisted that she was a baby. Then one day she woke up saying “I’m a big girl today!” She went back and forth for a while (she would have to tell us every morning when she woke up if she was a baby or a big girl that day. And she eventually got it! Then 2 days ago she announced that she doesn’t want her pull up at night anymore because she is no longer a baby, and that she won’t wet her bed….so far so good – wish me luck with the rest of the nights to come! ๐
Good luck to you! I hope your daughter sticks to her convictions ๐ The funny thing is my younger son did show interest around 2 years old. He wanted to be a big guy like his brother and dad. But then the novelty wore off, and he decided he’d march to the beat of his own drummer instead. We are well past the day I wrote this post, and aside from occasional accidents, we are well established in underwear. Our challenge now is teaching that while he can relieve himself in our backyard if we’re out playing, not every grassy space in the world is an appropriate spot to do his business. He’s not shy in front of friends and neighbors ๐
I find it so cool that you have two boys that are so different.
As for potty training….I’m glad I can’t remember it. LOL
Hopefully diapers are in a thing of the past in your house these days Tara! My oldest was very cooperative with potty training. It took time a few months, but by the time she was 3, she was used to using the potty and was done with diapers. My youngest, well…I tried the same tactic, but she would have none of it. Then one day, she just decided that she could use the potty and was done with diapers! Kids ๐