For the last three years I have had to prepare lunch for my son to take to school with him. I always sent him a warm meal, in a thermos, usually comprised of leftovers or something that I would cook for him before school in the morning. I stood in the kitchen lovingly cooking his lunch every day. The only rules the school had were no nuts or candy. OK – easy enough, considering I always include fresh fruit and a salad and since I am conscience to buy organic whenever I can, I knew that he was having a balanced meal that was healthy and included some of the vital nutrients that his growing body needed.
This September, he started first grade, and the school rules changed. I am no longer allowed to pack his lunch, and he HAS to eat from the cafeteria.
The first graders need to learn responsibility and proper nutrition, so part of that lesson is allowing them to choose their food themselves.
I wouldn’t mind if they had the same organic, fruit and vegetable laden options that I would provide, but they don’t. Apparently they get organic “when they can”, and they try to make the parents feel better by saying that there is a “salad bar” available to the kids with baby carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, hard boiled eggs and such available. They also have a “sandwich bar” where the kids can have their choice of bread like white sliced bread, bagels, whole wheat sliced bread, etc. (my kids have never had white sandwich bread in their life). They have cold cuts (I don’t ever buy cold cuts at home, since they are full of nitrates and sodium, if anything I would get fresh cooked chicken or turkey and slice it for a sandwich), and butter and jam available. They always have some kind of breakfast cereal (non-organic, mind you), and milk, juice, chocolate milk available to drink. Now to be fair, they have a “hot food bar” available as well, where the kids have a selection of hot foods available usually consisting of some protein, starch, vegetable, a soup, perhaps some pizza or pasta.
We have been working very hard trying to teach my son how to eat “right”. We are teaching him that fresh fruit and vegetables are so important for his health and his growing body. We are explaining to him how too much sugar is really bad for him and how organic is always a healthier option when it’s available.
And now here he is, 6 years old with carte blanche to get whatever he wants! Woo- hoo it’s party time! He has been choosing to have a raisin bagel with butter, and a bowl of cereal with milk everyday. He is choosing to drink juice or chocolate milk every day. Occasionally he is supplementing it with some chicken nuggets or pizza. Even less often he added a couple carrot sticks, or a hard boiled egg (Of which I am ecstatic!).
I spoke with the school’s director and asked her why they offer the cold cereal, which has minimal nutritional value). Why would they offer kids juice and chocolate milk, which is full of sugar? Why not just provide water? Her response was that the teachers are “monitoring” what the kids are eating and that they will have a study on nutrition soon, so that they will be able to make a smart decision. I question what kind of smart decisions can be made when foods with little or no nutritional value are even being offered? Don’t children learn by example? If so wouldn’t it be prudent not to offer these options to the students?
This fell on deaf ears. She made up excuses and gave me examples of students really taking advantage of this new found responsibility…probably trying to make me feel better – it didn’t. So now, instead of having the pressure of making his lunch, I have to worry about what he is going to choose to eat for lunch. I have been talking to him about the lack of nutrition in eating a bagel and bowl of cereal every day. I always thought that school was supposed to be a “partner” in raising your child, but what if one of the values that you feel so strongly about is the diametric opposite to you?
How would you handle this situation? Have you every been in a situation where you disagreed with your child’s school?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Maman Aya.
Photo credit to the author.
Oh my, I can just imagine the choices my kids would make! They too have been raised with awareness of what makes good food and what doesn’t but, but, but…there is no way they would choose those foods over sugary, processed stuff – even the 11 yo!
I don’t know what I would do in your position…except perhaps, nag, nag, nag the school. (Jamie Oliver?)
I have been nagging them as well – LOL! I have spoken to many of the other moms and realize that I am not the only one who is in this situation. I have been more conscious of making sure there is a good protein and lots of fruit and veggies with breakfast and dinner, since, ultimately, it is what they consume over the course of the entire day that makes a difference…. even if I would like to have the occasional pizza dinner! 🙂
I heard of a study of 5 year olds who had a choice of both “healthy” and “unhealthy” food options (while the adults monitored from a one way glass window). They found that (even though, at first, some children only had sweets) over the duration of the study they ALL ended up eating a healthy and balanced diet.
We don’t have cafeterias in SA schools, so this particular “battle” isn’t one I had to fight. However, there will ALWAYS be disagreements between “school policy” and parents. I did what you did – voiced my concerns, and they did the same thing – made excuses and / or dismissed my concerns.
If it’s any consolation, what you teach by your example at home will “stick” more than what they learn at school (at least in the long run)! 🙂
I feel that if my son did not have peer pressure around him, he would make the right choices automatically, like the children in the study (after all, this is the same kid who gets upset with me if I don’t prepare a fresh salad for dinner every night). Last week, when I asked him why he is making these food choices, he said because the other boys would make fun of him if he only took the healthier options. So, now I realize that it is a bigger battle than I ever imagined! He doesn’t want to appear “weird” or different, which is even more concerning to me, since he is such a strong spirited boy, albeit not too confident! Hopefully, we can help him understand that it’s OK to make different choices than the rest of the kids, esp. if they are the correct ones, before the choices are really consequential ones!
Ugh, I wish I had an answer for you. My best advice is perhaps contacting the Parent Teacher Association and see if you can drum up some more people who share your concerns. Here in France our kids MUST eat the food provided at canteen but it’s a four course meal, and provides better than I do at home!
I used to go to the Lycee Francais in NYC when I was my son’s age, and remember exactly that! We were served restaurant quality meals full of nutritious foods. I half expected all private schools in NYC to be similar, and when I found out that wasn’t the case this year I was actually surprised. I have spoken to other mothers in the school who feel the same way and have had the same conversations with the school, but they won’t change the food options since there are children who would not eat anything at all (or so they say). The way I see it, is that children will always choose something, so give them good options to choose from. 🙂
That’s a tough one! In my daughter’s school they offer warm lunches, but some parents can decide to give their children lunch. I also pack bread, fruit and some water for her as snack. The school serves food that is child-friendly, but delicious- lasagna, pasta with tomatoe sauce, rice with veggies, and such like and the fod is mostly steamed or cooked, not fried.. I am happy with that, especially it is one of the few schools that offer a warm lunch option. In daycares, however, it’s a whole different story: the children eat Dutch bread (which consists of plastic and air), with processed cheese or ham spreads. They also get fruit pieces (and pureed fruit for the babies) in the morning, and baby tomatoes or cucumber pieces iin the afternoon, but that is not the case with all daycares. Of course, you can try talking to the school, but I wouldn’t otherwise worry becuase most of the time, children end up eating well as adults, and pushing them to do some things doesn’t end well!
That’s what I am hoping for…. that in the long run, the lessons that I have been teaching my children at home will stay with them more than the lessons from school. I am very surprised that your primary schools offer good food options while the daycare doesn’t. I would have thought it would be the other way around. It’s frustrating when they don’t share the same values as you do.
I think it’s because the school is a private, international school and the daycare is a normal Dutch daycare.
That makes sense 🙂
As another parent who slavishly prepares my kids’ lunches & struggles with ensuring they eat well (both kids have serious medical issues) forced participation in a school lunch program would mean my kids could no longer attend that school. Even if they were ‘exempt’ why would I send them to watch their friends eat things they cannot?
The only “exemption” I believe are medical issues, although the school makes sure that they have gluten free and vegetarian options everyday. Although I agree. One of the reasons that i don’t make as big of a deal (by insisting that i send in his lunch) is that my son would be very upset to see everyone else eating from the cafeteria while he had to eat his lunch. For this reason, I am currently contemplating actually keep my so home from school for a week in April during Passover (which is not my preference).
Auw, I would absolutely hàte this!
I’m very sensitive about what my children are eating. I seem to have a checklist in my head, and every night I feel bad if I don’t get to check everything I find important. I am even slightly upset when I can’t control what they eat when they are staying with their grandparents. But I am learning how to cope with that and to let it go 🙂
But a daily, unbalanced lunch for my kids, forced by the school? I don’t know if I could digest that…
I’m sorry Maman Aya – that is just crazy! I would hate it. I feel lucky that my oldest daughter’s public school has taken on an initiative to use organic food and whole grains when ever possible. They have also incorporated more fruits and vegetables into the menu.
I would agree with Jacki – keep pushing the PTA to see if any change can be made. Good luck!