by Martine de Luna (Philippines) | Apr 9, 2014 | 2014, Family, Motherhood, Parenting, Philippines, World Motherhood
I haven’t written for World Moms Blog in a while, I’ve had the privilege to work with two wonderful organizations in our country in the past few months, which is why I’ve been lying low around here. Most of my work has been online: blog coaching, doing digital strategy, etc. To run down what’s happened since the beginning of 2014:
- I rebranded my website. It’s now called “Make it Blissful,” and is dedicated to the quest for meaningful living.
- I started doing more workshops, as part of my shift to entrepreneurship. I’ve been doing monthly workshops since December 2013, which I would do quarterly in 2013.
- I worked on several websites, two of which are advocacy-related and geared at fund-raising efforts for our countrymen who were affected by the deadly Typhoon Haiyan last year. The websites I created for them were ProjectHopePH and ApldeApFoundation.org. (Do check them out when you have time!)
- I’ve coached more than ten ladies since the beginning of this year, on how to launch their own online platforms and communities.
- I started teaching some blogging classes (non-credited, short course only) at a local college.
- And, to date, I’m a contributing writer for several mom-centric and women-centric blogs, such as The Work at Home Woman, The Mom Writes, Glam-O-Mamas, and of course, The World Moms Blog.
Whew.
Yes, you could say I’m busy. I’ve had to do all this while homeschooling my son as well, which is no easy feat. We have a very flexible, crafts and arts-based homeschool setup, though, because I’d rather he play more than study. Some days I feel like I should slow down — and I do — so that I can play with him some more.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m too busy. I stay at home most days of the week, save for on-location meetings for clients who aren’t as Web-savvy (read: they don’t or can’t meet over Skype!). Still, even at home, I have to deliberately say “no” at times to things that compete for Vito’s attention. While my son understands that Mom has to work, even though she’s at home, I know myself and when I am getting too wrapped up in work instead of working with my son.
There will always be a juggle for me. I’ve decided to be a work-at-home mom, after all. These days though, as my son gets older and more curious about the world he lives in, I have to be mindful of our sacred times together. As a woman whose “office” is limited to a small deskspace and a laptop, I also have to be careful that I don’t get sucked into my microworld of obligations.
Yes, of course, I have to deliver the best work to my clients — and I’m very grateful for the clients I have. But, I cannot and will not lose out on the daily challenges and memory-crafting moments that the universe has blessed me with as a mother.
And so, this is why I’m glad I can still write openly and freely about motherhood here on WMB. My fellow mom-bloggers here have been so supportive of my work, and were so sweet to let me have a “blog-iatus” (i.e. “hiatus”) from writing here so that I could catch my breath. I’m very glad to be back , albeit I’ll no longer have my editor role. That’s what’s great about this community: Moms support one another, no questions asked.
So, thank you for reading this, whoever you are. It means so much to me that I can keep on blogging here, from my small workspace here in the urban jungle of Manila. Isn’t blogging awesome?
This is an original post by Martine de Luna for World Moms Blog. You can find her on her blog, Make it Blissful, and work with her at Martine de Luna – Digital Creatives. Photo credit to the author.
Martine is a work-at-home Mom and passionate blogger. A former expat kid, she has a soft spot for international efforts, like WMB. While she's not blogging, she's busy making words awesome for her clients, who avail of her marketing writing, website writing, and blog consulting services. Martine now resides in busy, sunny Manila, the Philippines, with her husband, Ton, and toddler son, Vito Sebastian. You can find her blogging at DaintyMom.com.
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by Mama B (Saudi Arabia) | Apr 9, 2014 | 2014, Family, Husband, Kids, Life Balance, Marriage, Parenting, Saudi Arabia, Working Mother, World Moms Blog
I never really had a paying job. In fact, I still don’t.
I started a new business and as anyone who has taken the leap and started a business knows, that doesn’t mean you’re getting paid or will get paid any time soon. For the first time in my life I have “job job”. And to tell you the truth, this is not how I imagined it would be.
This was my plan: Have a dream (check), work really hard to achieve it (check), be happy…
Now, I’m proud. I’m excited. I’m feeling engaged and doing something I love. The problem is that I’m having trouble finding the happy. I find myself with a full time job that seeps into my thoughts at nights, on weekends, on family vacations and during school plays.
To put things in perspective here is what my life was before this: I had a husband who I saw often. I had time to sit with him, talk to him and watch TV together. I used to be available for him. I also have 4 children for whom I was always available for as well. I played with them, picked them up from school and did homework with them. In fact, if I wasn’t home in the morning I was most probably at their school on the PTA or volunteering in the library (yes) and enjoying it. I volunteered at Saut Down Syndrome School. I was very good at staying in touch with my extended family. I was so good that I was at every family thing we had. Always!
When I started properly working on making my vision a reality, I worked all the time with the “excuse” of it being the beginning. I kept telling myself that it takes this much effort to make it happen. Then it didn’t let up. In fact it got worse.
I have always formed my opinions of working mothers from the cushiness of my ‘stay at home but work when I want to’ life. My opinion was that it was totally valid for a woman to stay home with her children and that it was, if not impossible, then unbelievably difficult to be fully available to your children and husband while working. Why men don’t have to think of being fully available to their wives and children is beyond me but we are being honest and this is what goes through my mind. It may be because while I don’t have to work for us to live he does, so the least I can do is be available when he does come home from work.
I never actually thought about this issue from the point of view of the working mother. Does every working mother constantly feel like she is failing her family because of her work? I do. Always. Every day. It’s gotten to a point that it puts a damper on any success I have in my work life because I know it came at the cost of time spent with my family.
It hasn’t gone unnoticed by my family either. They are missing me and feeling the difference in their day to day life. The upside is that I guess I know I’m wanted and needed. It does however makes the vision I had for my professional life blurry and a little less important every day.
What kills me more is that I don’t have to do this. I just want to. I am very proud of what I have accomplished and grateful for all the help that seems to have walked into my life to aid me in making this all work. At times I take it as a sign that I have to do this because of all the doors that opened up to me when I seriously started working on it.
It’s a strange feeling to be so proud of something I have accomplished but at the same time feel ashamed of the sacrifices I have made to get there.
It has been 6 months since this change in my life began and now I’m finding it harder and harder to come to terms with how much of my life it has taken up. I have a business I have committed time and money to, AND a family I feel I ‘m letting down daily.
So here’s my plan: Hire people who can take a load off of, so I can pick my kids up from school and see my husband while I still have enough energy to engage with them! It may be easier said than done but I will try and find a balance.
Is there such a thing as a balance between working and being a mother?
Does one have to suffer in order for the other to prosper?
Mostly, is it fair for me to do this at the expense of time spent with my children and husband, especially since I don’t have to, I just want to?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Mama B from Saudi Arabia. She can be found writing at her blog, Ya Maamaa.
Photo Credit to Lauren Sachs.
Mama B’s a young mother of four beautiful children who leave her speechless in both, good ways and bad. She has been married for 9 years and has lived in London twice in her life. The first time was before marriage (for 4 years) and then again after marriage and kid number 2 (for almost 2 years). She is settled now in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia (or as settled as one can be while renovating a house).
Mama B loves writing and has been doing it since she could pick up a crayon. Then, for reasons beyond her comprehension, she did not study to become a writer, but instead took graphic design courses. Mama B writes about the challenges of raising children in this world, as it is, who are happy, confident, self reliant and productive without driving them (or herself) insane in the process.
Mama B also sheds some light on the life of Saudi, Muslim children but does not claim to be the voice of all mothers or children in Saudi. Just her little "tribe." She has a huge, beautiful, loving family of brothers and sisters that make her feel like she wants to give her kids a huge, loving family of brothers and sisters, but then is snapped out of it by one of her three monkeys screaming “Ya Maamaa” (Ya being the arabic word for ‘hey’). You can find Mama B writing at her blog, Ya Maamaa . She's also on Twitter @YaMaamaa.
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