As parents I’ve always believed that all of us want our children to achieve their full potential and to do amazing things with their lives, we also never want for them to be fearful of anything, real or imagined.
But what happens when a child’s fear is not imagined and is in fact very real. When the one thing they’re most fearful of is the person who they should be able to trust the most?
A story in the news this week in Adelaide has parents—actually not just parents but every living, breathing individual—up in arms over the treatment of a four-year-old little girl in 2012, who died as a result of the cruel treatment dished out by her mother and her boyfriend.
As the story is told, they put this little girl on a 50kg motorbike and over a period of three days made her ride it around the backyard while they videotaped it for their own enjoyment. Despite her terror and numerous crashes, they kept picking her up and putting her back on.
A final crash into a tree at almost 40km/h caused serious injury and despite complaining of her injuries when they put her to bed they did nothing. The following day she slipped into unconsciousness and they waited a further eight hours before seeking help, turning instead to Google for answers about what to do when someone is unconscious. She died as a result of them not seeking medical assistance.
There are many more facts, there’s much more to the story and there’s also a history of social welfare intervention—but nobody actually stepped in and took this child away from her mother, nobody in fact did anything to save her despite their knowledge that things weren’t quite right.
This week, the mother and her boyfriend were both sentenced, with the mother receiving an eight-year prison sentence with a non-parole period of just under five years. That’s a measly year in prison for every year her child was alive.
It’s a pitiful and sad sentence but sadly I think it’s also indicative of the ‘hands off’ society that we’re now living in.
I understand that in this day and age we don’t want to get involved, we mind our own business and we look after our own. But I also think it’s a sad state of affairs when, as individuals, we shy away from getting involved when an innocent and trusting little girl is left in the clutches of such disturbed people.
I also think it’s a travesty of mammoth proportions that with all our laws and child protection agencies that nobody saved this little girl.
I know bad things happen to small children and it makes my stomach churn each and every time I hear about one of them. Little Chloe Valentine was just one of many, who as a society we all failed to protect. (Please be aware that I have not linked to any of the footage or the story as I find it too upsetting to watch or read about)
No I didn’t know her personally but as a parent who cherishes her own children and grandchildren it makes me sick to even hear about it. I will stand up and get involved when something is going on around me which I know to be wrong. These children are our future and just because they don’t have a voice doesn’t mean we can’t do something about it.
As a result of this case, Adelaide will see a total overhaul of child protection laws with an inquest into the failure of social welfare to intervene. For little Chloe, it’s a case of too-little-too-late, but one can only hope that we can all learn from this and prevent this kind of thing ever happening again.
I know that sometimes we should stay out of things which aren’t our business but in this case would you have gotten involved?
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Fiona from Inspiration to Dream of Adelaide, South Australia.
The image used in this post is credited to .craig. It holds a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.
This story really is heartbreaking…
I honestly can’t say whether I would have interfered at that time. Depends on whether I would actually see what was happening, or just saw indications, or whether I had filed them for child neglect even before and was relying on social services to follow them up.
I, for a fact, am very hesitant on taking steps towards accusing someone child neglect or abuse when I’m not sure, because I have been accused of that myself, by our neighbours. Wrongly, of course. They heard our adopted daughter screaming for hours and hours a day, in the first year after she arrived (she was 2.5 yo at that time) and although I tried to explain to them she was traumatized and full of confusion, anger and grief, and that she was actually hitting me, not the other way round, they wouldn’t believe it and went to the police. I understand them, in a way. I really try to think more people should act on such suspicions, for the wellbeing of children. Better to file worng reports and offend good parents than to miss a real one and let a child get hurt. But for myself, I was absolutely devastated by the accusations. The police interrogation broke me, although they were very understanding and the complaint was dismissed immediately. I would never want to do that to another struggling mother…
K10K – I can only begin to imagine how horrible it must be for a parent to have social services visit them, but that said I think you said it yourself when you said “Better to file wrong reports and offend good parents than to miss a real one and let a child get hurt”
The fact that you were upset by the report against you in itself is evidence that you’re a good parent. These parents had a history of reports against them, yet were unconcerned and still no-one did anything to save this little girl which is what’s upsetting.
I guess my point is that while I don’t condone everyone rushing out and reporting parents who have a screaming child (because boy have we all been there) but more for everyone to be alert to things around us. This little girl was in her own backyard over a three day period – surely neighbours heard something that would have raised alarm bells.
Thank you for your sharing your experience,
Fiona
Fiona,
This is sooooo sad!!! Thank you for writing this and for speaking up for the rights of children!!
Jen
It happens too often Jen and we need to protect those too little to speak for themselves
It’s terribly sad when the people who are supposed to be the champions for these poor children just don’t follow through. As a psychology student I worked in a Day Care Center for a few months during my holidays. I was particularly tasked with looking after a 4 year old child with “discipline issues” who would hit the other children when not kept under close supervision. It took me a long time to slowly gain his trust. One morning I arrived at the Center with a bandage around a sprained ankle. As soon as that little boy saw me he asked “Who hurt you?” I told him that I had hurt myself to which he retorted “That’s not true, you don’t hurt yourself, someone else hurt you!” This comment worried me, and I took even more careful note of the things he would say. One morning he came to the Center with part of his ear torn and bruises on his chest and back. By that time he felt safe enough with me to confess that his mother’s boyfriend hurt him, his brother AND his mother! 🙁 Obviously I told the Head Teacher of the Day Care and convinced her to call in Child Services. When the Social Worker came I first showed her my notes of the month-long observations I’d documented, as well as what the child said and did. She then “examined” him by looking at the torn ear lobe and lifting his T-shirt to see the bruises for herself. She said she would “take care of it”. I felt good about what I’d done ….. unfortunately that feeling was quickly replaced by anger and frustration, followed by deep sadness. Her “taking care of it” meant that she spoke to the mother of this child (who, understandably, denied that any of it was true) and that was the end of it!! 🙁 What was worse is that the mother (upset by the fact that we’d contacted Social Services) took the child out of Day Care. I resigned shortly after that. I felt responsible for that child, and I have no doubt that he would have felt betrayed by me as well. 🙁 I often wonder if it would have been better for him had I kept quiet – at least he had a few hours a day of respite from his horrible home situation when he was at Day Care! 🙁 All of this happened over 20 years ago, but I have never been able to forget him. I did the best I could, but was left feeling betrayed by the Social Worker and also feeling that my “interference” had done that boy more harm than good.
🙁
Simona that is a truly horrible experience when you were only trying to do what you thought was the right thing. Sadly this cycle of abuse just goes round in circles, those who are hurt and abused will possibly go on to hurt and abuse because they know no other way.
(That said, I’m not saying everyone will follow that pattern either)
In Australia we have laws which mean that anyone in a medical or child care profession who are regularly around children must by law report any suspicion of child abuse. That said, no system is perfect as is the case I mentioned in this post – children will still fall through the cracks and at the same time good parents will still get wrongly accused.
There’s a fine line between getting involved and keeping quiet.
That is just so tragic to hear. I hope the law mets out harsher punishments so that people think twice or thrice about doing something as inhumane as that, and to their own child.
I agree Susan, I think awareness is the first step
This is truly upsetting. Unfortunately there are too many stories like this one. It’s difficult to know when you need to step in.
Awareness is key.
What a heartbreaking reality that happens way way too often in our crazy world these days. Thank you for writing this Fiona. I agree, awareness is key.