More than a month ago, our home was always clean and tidy. There were also nice home-cooked meals (complete with soup) every evening for my family.
Fast forward to today: dust is gathering around the house while home-cooked meals have been reduced to no more than two dishes at any one time. Soup? It would be a bonus to have that once a week.
You see, our live-in helper left us…without notice…after going back to her home town, supposedly, for a two-week break.
She didn’t come back. Didn’t send notice. Didn’t even call. I later learned from friends that this is not uncommon.
At first I was angry. Not only had we wasted money on her return ticket, she also left me stranded without a back up plan.
But as the days go by, a rhythm is slowly but surely developing. I’m beginning to experience the blessings her departure brings.
- Gone are my leisurely breakfasts, escapades to the library and social media time. But I now have greater focus on what I do.
- House chores and cooking are challenges for me but I am slowly getting the hang of things.
- While there are no set days as to when chores get done, since my work takes focus in the early part of the week, I am trying to tackle the bulk of cleaning mid-week. Strangely I sometimes find cleaning rather therapeutic.
- When it comes to cooking, I am learning to exercise creativity. One dish meals are great: simple to cook but nutritious and tasty enough for most fussy taste buds.
- When the laundry is done, he helps remove the clothes from the washing machine, grabs the pegs and passes them to me “as a set” – to quote his exact words. I wonder when he might get bored and stop helping me so I am cherishing every moment.
- Might I add that my husband has also chipped in to do his part now!
I am not sure if I will cave in and get another helper again. At the moment, I am busy but happy. I appreciate the quietness (when my son is at school) and extra space I now have, and I meant that quite literally. The best part is I get my spare room back! That is something I have been wishing for and for which I can’t be more thankful.
I know that for many moms living in other parts of the world, having live-in help is rare. Some may have cleaners come a few times a month but many families manage the bulk of cleaning and household chores alone. Here in Asia, having live-in help is common.
All of this made me really admire fellow moms who have to take care of the whole household and a few kids, not to mention those who are working from home. You are amazing. How do you do it?
Really, I mean it. How do you handle your house chores? Please share some tips! Hopefully some day, I might become an amazing mom like you, who seem to be able to do it all.
This is an original post for World Moms Blog from our blogger and live-in-help-less mother of one, Ruth Wong in Singapore.
The image used in this post is credited to clogozm. It holds a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.
I have a cleaner who comes in every week. I cook and do the other chores such as loundry and washing the dishes (ie. loading the dish washer). She is a life saver and I wouldn’t know what to do without her. I think you can now see how you’re doing without the live-in help… and then decide if you want to get another one or if you’re happy as you are.
Don’t be fooled, Ruth, no mother in the world is truly “able to do it all”. 🙂
I live in South Africa and here too it’s fairly common to have hired help. To be perfectly honest, I don’t like being home when my cleaning woman is there. I’m fortunate to have a trusted lady who comes to my house once a week to do the “heavy” chores (floors, windows, ironing etc) while I’m at work. I love coming home to a nice clean house, but I could never fully relax if she was around full-time … never mind live-in!
Household chores is not my favorite thing, but it has to get done, right? For me it’s a Saturday morning routine. Now that my girls are getting older, I ask them to help. My oldest likes to run the vacuum and clean the mirror in the bathroom while I clean the rest of the bathroom. My youngest can collect the wastebaskets from the bathroom and bedrooms; she can also help me make the beds. Sometimes it takes longer to have them help me, but I figure it’s teaching them about responsibility and the things we do to keep our home tidy – teamwork 😉
I’m not sure how I’m doing it, Ruth! But, this post reminded me of a conversation I had in NYC with our contributor from Saudi Arabia, Mama B. She asked me, how do I do it all without help every day? And, she told me about the types of help she had in her home. We enjoyed asking questions about our daily lives!
I have not found the solution yet, but wish I had!! In the meantime…I’m behind!
Jen 🙂
I am a lazy person more at home with mental work than physical. I have had live in helps over my 16 years of marriage and still do. I hate housework and cooking. I have had periods of no house help and certain times I cope but not very well. When I do all the house work I am tired and when tired I get angry and sometimes lash out. I rather have my helps and be at a peaceful state of mind for a good relationship with my family.
I respect moms who get along without any help.
THEY ARE SIMPLY AMAZING