At the beginning of 2014, World Moms Blog asked me to define the coming year in one word. I replied: TRINITY.
No, I didn’t think I was a goddess – although feel free to disagree. . . in 2014, I was going to be three different mothers.
I have three kids, and for the first time, each of them was in a different developmental stage. I wasn’t sure whether this was good news or sit-tight-and-ride-the-wave news. But I felt ready, I was going to tackle that motherhood business with optimism and cheers.
My little girl was in her troll stage. And by that I mean, she was a lawless toddler fearing nothing and no one, living under her own rules, and with zero faith whatsoever in any kind of authority – especially coming from me. So for her, I was going to be “magic power” mom: I had to be able to reason with her without using logic (because a troll mind does not care for logic), no screaming (because I was sure to be out-screamed), no swearing (although really tempting on occasions, even though I know it’s not right). So it looked like reasoning was left to magic – Abracadabra! I was not too worried though. I had done that job before and felt confident.
A year has passed, and my daughter has not budged. Still in her troll phase, still living life on her own terms. As for my magic powers, well, let’s just say I have managed to become totally invisible to her, but I would not exactly call that progress – although I am pretty sure Batman, Spiderman and Superman envy me a little. Still, not a great consolation. . .
My middle boy was in the push-my-button phase. That’s the pre-teen phase where I was always wrong and I made no sense. But, unlike teenagers, my son still loved me. For him, I had to be “But-Mommy”: always ready to build a case for everything I said: putting a coat on, going to school, brushing teeth. Everything needed a reason. A year on, and no change there either. So “But-Mommy” stays for 2015. I don’t like “But-Mommy” too much. She requires a level of patience that I cannot even begin to comprehend. A year in the job and I still can’t keep an argument going for more than thirty seconds, without ending it with, “Because I said so!”
My big guy was in his honeymoon phase. He had slowed down on the button-pushing business but had not transformed into a teenager yet. He did not think I was a complete idiot and he kinda liked me. So for him, I was “Cool-Mom”. We would sit down and talk about life, growing up, stuff he saw on TV, etc. It was lovely. Unfortunately, that phase did not last long. A few weeks at the most. It has since been replaced by the “my mom is so lame” phase. And something tells me that I am in it for the long haul. For this phase, I have to be “No-See-No-Hear-No-Talk Mom”. Nothing I can possibly say is interesting, smart, or even just informative, I cannot make any observations over anything I see, hear or think. And whenever I try to share experience I get a roll of the eyes and a, “Argh, we are not in the 1800’s anymore”, or “What do you know?” And the answer is: “Nothing. I know nothing.”
If WMB is going to ask me for a word to describe 2015, I have not decided yet whether to answer “Grrrrrrr”, or “Arghhhhhh”. So in order to settle it, I have decided to send a picture of how I see myself, in 2015. . .
Just so you know, I would not trade any of this for the world and I know for a fact that I will miss every single one of these phases when they are gone.
How about you? Where is the motherhood train taking you this year?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Nadege Nicoll. She was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. Nadege also writes a daily blog for moms who need to smile at everyday life. She can be found on Twitter, Facebook and her website www.nadegenicoll.com.
Photo credit to Jake Nicoll