At the beginning of 2014, World Moms Blog asked me to define the coming year in one word. I replied: TRINITY.
No, I didn’t think I was a goddess – although feel free to disagree. . . in 2014, I was going to be three different mothers.
I have three kids, and for the first time, each of them was in a different developmental stage. I wasn’t sure whether this was good news or sit-tight-and-ride-the-wave news. But I felt ready, I was going to tackle that motherhood business with optimism and cheers.
My little girl was in her troll stage. And by that I mean, she was a lawless toddler fearing nothing and no one, living under her own rules, and with zero faith whatsoever in any kind of authority – especially coming from me. So for her, I was going to be “magic power” mom: I had to be able to reason with her without using logic (because a troll mind does not care for logic), no screaming (because I was sure to be out-screamed), no swearing (although really tempting on occasions, even though I know it’s not right). So it looked like reasoning was left to magic – Abracadabra! I was not too worried though. I had done that job before and felt confident.
A year has passed, and my daughter has not budged. Still in her troll phase, still living life on her own terms. As for my magic powers, well, let’s just say I have managed to become totally invisible to her, but I would not exactly call that progress – although I am pretty sure Batman, Spiderman and Superman envy me a little. Still, not a great consolation. . .
My middle boy was in the push-my-button phase. That’s the pre-teen phase where I was always wrong and I made no sense. But, unlike teenagers, my son still loved me. For him, I had to be “But-Mommy”: always ready to build a case for everything I said: putting a coat on, going to school, brushing teeth. Everything needed a reason. A year on, and no change there either. So “But-Mommy” stays for 2015. I don’t like “But-Mommy” too much. She requires a level of patience that I cannot even begin to comprehend. A year in the job and I still can’t keep an argument going for more than thirty seconds, without ending it with, “Because I said so!”
My big guy was in his honeymoon phase. He had slowed down on the button-pushing business but had not transformed into a teenager yet. He did not think I was a complete idiot and he kinda liked me. So for him, I was “Cool-Mom”. We would sit down and talk about life, growing up, stuff he saw on TV, etc. It was lovely. Unfortunately, that phase did not last long. A few weeks at the most. It has since been replaced by the “my mom is so lame” phase. And something tells me that I am in it for the long haul. For this phase, I have to be “No-See-No-Hear-No-Talk Mom”. Nothing I can possibly say is interesting, smart, or even just informative, I cannot make any observations over anything I see, hear or think. And whenever I try to share experience I get a roll of the eyes and a, “Argh, we are not in the 1800’s anymore”, or “What do you know?” And the answer is: “Nothing. I know nothing.”
If WMB is going to ask me for a word to describe 2015, I have not decided yet whether to answer “Grrrrrrr”, or “Arghhhhhh”. So in order to settle it, I have decided to send a picture of how I see myself, in 2015. . .
Just so you know, I would not trade any of this for the world and I know for a fact that I will miss every single one of these phases when they are gone.
How about you? Where is the motherhood train taking you this year?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Nadege Nicoll. She was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. Nadege also writes a daily blog for moms who need to smile at everyday life. She can be found on Twitter, Facebook and her website www.nadegenicoll.com.
Photo credit to Jake Nicoll
Nadege Nicoll
Nadege Nicoll was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. She stopped working in the corporate world to raise her three children and multiple pets, thus secretly gathering material for her books. She writes humorous fictions for kids aged 8 to 12. She published her first chapter book, “Living with Grown-Ups: Raising Parents” in March 2013. Her second volume in the series just came out in October 2013. “Living with Grown-Ups: Duties and Responsibilities” Both books take an amusing look at parents’ inconsistent behaviors, seen from the perspective of kids. Nadege hopes that with her work, children will embrace reading and adults will re-discover the children side of parenthood. Nadege has a few more volumes ready to print, so watch this space…
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Into the world of teenagers….
I’m buckled up and ready to go!
Argh, I am almost there and I already fear that phase. On the plus side, I think we’ll have plenty of blog material!
You just described my life. In detail. Although my little one is 5 now. Still completely unreasonable.
Hahaha!! Five year old are the new teenagers!! Except, they say “I love you” all the time!
My little one (4yrs) has just entered the phase where I’m surprised that she is actually listening to me. It is finally happening! Sometimes!!! What I’ve found is that she is happiest when she is very active — ice skating, gymnastics, etc. She keeps me on my toes. I have realized how important these outlets are to her, so I try my best to make sure her schedule is heavier on the sports side.
My 7 year old is really hard on herself. I have only realized this recently, so I’m trying to adjust my parenting and learn more on how I can support her as a parent best. I’m looking into a yoga class for children for her to help her let go.
The motherhood train has me planning and organizing and trying to keep up!! I am always learning. Both my children have different needs. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what those needs are!
Jen 🙂
And just when you figure it out, they enter a new phase and it all changes again! Never a dull moment. For me, each phase is teaching me something about myself that I didn’t know I had (or didn’t have).
This year has brought us many milestones. A transition to a new school (we recently moved) for my oldest. At the end of the summer my youngest (and my family) will be graduating from the child care/pre-school facility that we’ve been using since 2006. I am realizing that time is flying…and you’re so you’re right, “I know for a fact that I will miss every single one of these phases when they are gone.”