by Kirsten Doyle (Canada) | May 16, 2016 | 2016, Autism, Canada, Children with Disabilities, North America, Older Children, World Motherhood
I wake up in the middle of the night needing to use the bathroom. I tiptoe past my son’s bedroom, but in spite of it being about two in the morning, he is awake.
“Mommy!” I hear him whisper.
I go in, thankful that he finally understands the importance of not talking out loud while the family is sleeping. As I tuck him in, he reaches a hand up and touches my face.
“Lie down with Mommy on the bed,” he says, in his peculiar speech pattern and his even more peculiar voice that is teetering between boy and man registers.
Knowing that he will not get to sleep again without a cuddle, I promise to be back. I quickly use the bathroom, return to my son’s room and lie down beside him. We lie there for maybe a minute before he whispers again.
“I love you, Mommy.”
“I love you too,” I reply.
“Good night. Have beautiful dreams,” he mumbles, giving me a gentle but unmistakable shove. By the time I’m walking out of his room, he is fast asleep.
As I make my way to my own bed, I think about my son, about how far he has come and how far he still needs to go. He is twelve years old now, sprinting down the home stretch toward his teenage years. Nine years ago, almost to the day, he was diagnosed with autism.
Back then, when he was almost four, the only functional words in his vocabulary were “juice” and “pee”. He needed assistance with every single aspect of his daily living – toileting, getting dressed, eating, brushing teeth. Grocery store meltdowns were common, and washing my son’s hair could reduce him to a state of terror. Haircuts were absolutely out of the question.
Today, my son talks. Not a lot – not enough to have more than the most rudimentary of conversations – but he talks. He makes requests using full sentences, complete with “please” and “thank you”. He expresses emotions and makes jokes. He can pick out his own clothes, take a shower more or less by himself and even washes his hair. He hates it, but he understands that it has to be done. He can have haircuts now, even though I am the only one who can administer them and he keeps bunching his shoulders up.
As I look at him now and try to see into the future, I have no way of knowing what he will be capable of nine years from now. On the one hand, I don’t see him being able to live independently. He still lacks many life skills and, like many people with autism, he does not have an innate sense of danger and he does not know how to keep himself safe.
On the other hand, nine years ago I would not have foreseen the progress that he has made up to this point. I would not have thought that a kid who once had two usable words would be saying things like, “Have beautiful dreams”. So who knows what another nine years will bring?
We will only find out by continuing to steer him out of his comfort zone and into unknown territory.
How do you deal with challenges faced by your child? Do you wonder what your kids’ futures look like?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Kirsten Doyle. Photo credit to the author.
Kirsten Doyle was born in South Africa. After completing university, she drifted for a while and finally washed up in Canada in 2000. She is Mom to two boys who have reached the stage of eating everything in sight (but still remaining skinny).
Kirsten was a computer programmer for a while before migrating into I.T. project management. Eventually she tossed in the corporate life entirely in order to be a self-employed writer and editor. She is now living her best life writing about mental health and addictions, and posting videos to two YouTube channels.
When Kirsten is not wrestling with her kids or writing up a storm, she can be seen on Toronto's streets putting many miles onto her running shoes. Every year, she runs a half-marathon to benefit children with autism, inspired by her older son who lives life on the autism spectrum.
Final piece of information: Kirsten is lucky enough to be married to the funniest guy in the world.
Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Be sure to check out her YouTube channels at My Gen X Life and Word Salad With Coffee!
More Posts
Follow Me:
by Ewa Samples | May 13, 2016 | 2016, Childhood, Cooking, Ewa Samples, Family, Health, Kids, Motherhood, North America, Nutrition, Parenting, Polish Mom Photographer, USA, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Cooking with kids is one of my favorite activities. I have to admit, I don’t do it often enough. Mostly because of the limited space in our kitchen where two is a crowd.
My parents would let us kids into the kitchen as often as they could. We were cooking family dinners at very young ages. I remember having to do all the peeling while my older siblings were taking care of the more complex things around the kitchen. My sister was the baker. As a young girl she was baking elaborate cakes, and to these days, she impresses people with her kitchen skills.
Due to both of my kids being burned in the past (just a little, but enough for them to remember), they are pretty standoffish to the idea of being too close to a hot stove. In this situation, making them help me while I bake is more enjoyable.
Also, our older daughter is very picky and I’m hoping that letting her be involved in the kitchen will help her become more open to foods. She loves sweets, of course, so I love baking with her. By doing it, I hope, being in the kitchen will be associated with something positive for her.
Both of the kids love our family cooking project: “quest for the best cinnamon rolls“. I feel like this project has made them, especially the picky one, very excited about being in the kitchen.
We started it 3 months ago, and so far we’ve tried 3 recipes. In the meantime we have also baked our regular cinnamon rolls several times.
Cooking with kids is fun and messy, and it’s a great opportunity to spend quality time with them. I’m always trying to sneak a little more of the good stuff into our recipes, and with baking, it seems like hiding the nutrients into the food is less of a hassle then fighting over eating a piece of a carrot. So, why not?
Our last recipe wasn’t really a cinnamon rolls recipe, but it was close enough for me to add it to our project. I got it from one of my clients, who saw me doing this project and she shared the link to this “Whole grain cinnamon swirl bread“.
I wanted to try it because of the of possibility of sneaking quinoa into the recipe as well as all kinds of different goodies.
Creating the whole-grain mix was a great thing to learn about, and I actually started using it in all kinds of recipes. My kids don’t even know they eat quinoa anymore. I’m loving it.
If you struggle with a picky eater, finding things in the kitchen that make them excited about food is really a great way to get around it. It makes them focus on the positive things in food, not the bad things.
With this project we are doing, I still let them be picky, and I find it interesting to see that our older daughter is less picky with eating what we bake than the younger one, who normally is very open to trying new things, and eating in general. Every time we bake new thing, the kids can express their thoughts about the dish. We talk about what they don’t like in it. And after that we get excited about the next recipe we will try.
How about you? Do you have any picky eaters in your home? Any interesting family projects going on? Please comment below to share!
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Ewa Samples (Mom Photographer). Ewa can be found sharing her pictures over at Ewa Samples Photography. She is also on Facebook and Instagram.
Photo credits to the author.
Ewa was born, and raised in Poland. She graduated University with a master's degree in Mass-Media Education. This daring mom hitchhiked from Berlin, Germany through Switzerland and France to Barcelona, Spain and back again!
She left Poland to become an Au Pair in California and looked after twins of gay parents for almost 2 years. There, she met her future husband through Couch Surfing, an international non-profit network that connects travelers with locals.
Today she enjoys her life one picture at a time. She runs a photography business in sunny California and document her daughters life one picture at a time.
You can find this artistic mom on her blog, Ewa Samples Photography, on Twitter @EwaSamples or on Facebook!
More Posts - Website
Follow Me:
by Jacqueline Jenkins (Jordan) | May 12, 2016 | 2016, Cancer, Jordan, Middle East, World Motherhood
Not everything that happens in life is warm and fuzzy and wonderful. Sometimes life is absolutely terrifying and paralyzing. This has been one of those weeks. Without sharing too many of the gorey details, it’s enough to say that I am now missing a golf ball size piece of my shin and had to have a skin graft taken from another part of my body to close up the hole. This story ends well as I heard yesterday that the margins are clear and the tumor was completely excised. But that is not actually what I want to talk about.
In the early moments after hearing the doctor say ‘it’s aggressive skin cancer and we need to get it out,’ my mind began to race…not so much about what the implications might be to my life if this was really bad news, but to ‘who are the people who are going to get me through this?’
Between biopsy and then surgery there was less than twenty four hours but I managed through Facebook and email to rally my global tribe. My doctor friend who could talk me through probable outcomes and what my shin will look like when it heals, to the endless Whatsapp messaging I did with Vanessa over days when she was meant to be studying for an important exam, to the mimosa morning my Amman Core came to sit on the couch with me and just listen, to the friends abroad who sent karma into the world, meditated with monks or convinced me to shop online for Furla bags to pass the time.
Too often we try and face situations alone, to be the strong one, the one who can manage everything. Society seems to value that and see it as the ultimate success.
I sit here and type this knowing that I dodged a bullet by getting the cancer out when I did. I also know that my life is richer for having a tribe of amazing people in my life. Maybe that’s what I am meant to learn from this experience…. Gather your tribe when you need them.
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by our contributor Jackie Jenkins in Jordan.
Photo courtesy of kizzzbeth / Flickr.
We are a few months into our new 'home of our heart' location in Amman, Jordan. Originally from Canada, I have been moving around the globe for more than twenty years as my husband works for UNICEF. While we were a carefree couple in Uganda, Lesotho and Bangladesh, Meghan joined our family in 2000, while we were living in Myanmar. She was joined in 2005, while we were posted in India by Charlie, her energetic younger brother! Since then we have lived in Mozambique and New York. I am an educator and have been incredibly fortunate to have found rewarding jobs in international schools wherever we have been posted. Most recently I was the Elementary School Principal at the United Nations International School in Manhattan. Since arriving in Jordan, I have been a stay at home Mum, exploring, photographing and learning about the incredible history of the region and the issues facing not only the Jordan population but the incredible number of Syrian refugees currently residing in the country. While I speak English and French, I have not yet started to learn Arabic; a big goal for our time here.
I write to record and process this incredible journey we are on as a family. Time passes so incredibly quickly and without a recording of events, it's hard to remember the small moments and wonderings from each posting. Being a mother in this transient lifestyle means being the key cheerleader for our family, it means setting up and taking down a house with six weeks notice, it means creating close friendships and then saying goodbye. All this, while telling yourself that the opportunities your children have make the goodbyes and new hellos worthwhile. Raising a child in this lifestyle has incredible challenges and rewards. The challenges include culture shock every single time, even when you feel the move will be an easy one. It means coaching yourself, in your dark moments to be present and supportive to your children, who have not chosen to move but are trusting you to show them the world and the meaningfulness of the lifestyle we have committed to as a UNICEF family. The upsides to this lifestyle are incredible; the ability to have our children interact and learn about cultures, languages, food, and religions firsthand, the development of tolerance and empathy through relationships with many types of different people and the travel, they have been to more places before the age of ten than some people do in a lifetime! My commitment to raising children who believe in peace and feel responsible for making a difference in creating a better world is at the core of everything I do.
More Posts
Follow Me:
by Elizabeth Atalay | May 10, 2016 | 2016, North America, World Moms Blog, World Voice
World Moms Elizabeth Atalay, Tes Silverman and Founder Jennifer Burden met up at the 4th annual Moms + Social Good conference last Thursday at the New York Times Center in New York City. The one day event was hosted by The United Nations Foundation and Johnson & Johnson, with support from BabyCenter, Global Citizen, Fatherly and Charity Miles. The goal, in honor of Mother’s Day, was to highlight some of the greatest challenges women and children across the globe are facing today.
The buzz word that came up in almost every panel and topic of conversation, whether the discussion was on the refugee crisis or the importance of global vaccines, was EDUCATION. The importance of education to rise above any circumstance was underlined again and again.
We were impacted by the Save The Children special report this year. Save The Children usually conducts a State of the World’s Mother’s Report released around U.S. Mother’s Day. The surprising statistics on maternal and child health in the USA in last year’s global report (The US ranked number 33 worldwide) inspired the compilation this year of The Shriver Report Snapshot: Insight Into The Resilient American Mother instead. The study polled 1000 mothers in the United States of various backgrounds. The findings were surprising.
- Overall 85% of American mothers polled think that the US is becoming a worse place to raise a child.
- Despite this alarming finding, almost all moms, also said they are optimistic about their future and their children’s future.
- 6 in 10 said that the US business culture makes it “nearly impossible” to balance work and family.
- The top stressors for American moms were bills and expenses.
- American moms are conflicted whether technology and social media do more good than harm for their children.
- When it comes to helping kids, American mothers overwhelmingly want the next president to focus on education.
One of the highlights of the day was World Moms Blog Founder, Jennifer Burden’s, interview with Save The Children CEO Carolyn Miles about the report. (More to come on the blog about the interview!)
World Moms Blog Founder, Jennifer Burden, interviews Carolyn Miles, CEO of Save the Children at the Moms + SocialGood event in NYC on May 5th, 2016.
Gene Gurkoff and Elizabeth Atalay
Three years ago at Moms + Social Good we met Gene Gurkoff, Founder and CEO of Charity Miles, an app that lets you donate to the charity of your choice when you work out. We’ve been doing Charity Miles ever since while watching his company grow to do more and more good in the world each year.
Also, we tracked down the US Ambassador to the UN, Samantha Power after her panel on how they are working hard to take out Boko Haram and the importance of education. Just last month, Ambassador Powers was in Abuja, Nigeria visiting with the mothers of the Chibok Girls. There, she met our contributor, Aisha Yesufu, at the sit in. We were so excited to tell her about our connection to Aisha and our support for the moms in Chibok!
US Ambassador to the UN, Samantha Power with Jennifer Burden, Founder and CEO of World Moms Blog, at Moms + SocialGood in NYC May 5th, 2016.
And here is Ambassador Power weeks earlier in Abuja Nigeria with our World Mom, Aisha Yesufu!
As our good friend Ilina Ewen said on her panel, From local to global challenges: Focus on the whole child, “The sisterhood of motherhood is universal.” This is something we know and feel every day at World Moms Blog.
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by our Managing Editor, Elizabeth Atalay of the USA. It was updated at 11:36am EDT on May 10th, 2016.
Photo credits to the author.
Photo credit of Aisha and Ambassador Power to Aisha Yesufu.
Elizabeth Atalay is a Digital Media Producer, Managing Editor at World Moms Network, and a Social Media Manager. She was a 2015 United Nations Foundation Social Good Fellow, and traveled to Ethiopia as an International Reporting Project New Media Fellow to report on newborn health in 2014. On her personal blog, Documama.org, she uses digital media as a new medium for her background as a documentarian. After having worked on Feature Films and Television series for FOX, NBC, MGM, Columbia Pictures, Warner Brothers, 20th Century Fox, and Castle Rock Pictures, she studied documentary filmmaking and anthropology earning a Masters degree in Media Studies from The New School in New York. Since becoming a Digital Media Producer she has worked on social media campaigns for non-profits such as Save The Children, WaterAid, ONE.org, UNICEF, United Nations Foundation, Edesia, World Pulse, American Heart Association, and The Gates Foundation. Her writing has also been featured on ONE.org, Johnson & Johnson’s BabyCenter.com, EnoughProject.org, GaviAlliance.org, and Worldmomsnetwork.com. Elizabeth has traveled to 70 countries around the world, most recently to Haiti with Artisan Business Network to visit artisans in partnership with Macy’s Heart of Haiti line, which provides sustainable income to Haitian artisans. Elizabeth lives in New England with her husband and four children.
More Posts
by Marie Kléber | May 9, 2016 | 2016, Europe, France, Motherhood
Over the past few years, I realized that it was important for me to get to know who I am, to love myself (without condition), to create my space, to find some “me” time so I could deal with motherhood, work and daily life, peacefully and with an open heart. This way, I could give my full attention to my child whenever we have time together, or to my friends and family. By taking care of myself, I would surely take better care of the people around me.
And by falling in love with myself, I would allow love into my life, the kind of true and respectful love I deserve.
I’ve always been the first to tell family and friends, “think about you” or “you are important, you need to look after yourself”, “take some time away, it’s good for you and for your kids, your husband….” That’s it: I give good advice when it comes to others. It’s another story when I am concerned.
I have to acknowledge that I have a tough time finding my balance between my life as a mum, my life at home with my parents, my personal life including meeting friends and creating new relationships, writing and relaxing. I feel like it’s too much for me. In fact, I spent the last three years focusing on my child and my family, without even thinking that I was part of the equation. Don’t get me wrong, I was the first one saying that I needed time for myself, but I was not taking it. I was the first one trying to meet new people, without catching opportunities. I was the first one feeling that I needed to make the first step towards time for myself, but taking guilt in my handbag every time I was about to cross the line between motherhood and womanhood!
This year I told myself that I must do something about it. My life can’t change if I just sit down, wait and see. I am in charge of making it work, one way or another.
I must change the way I feel and think about taking time for myself. I can’t find the balance if I don’t give myself a chance to test what it’s like to be fully with my child, fully with dear ones, and fully with me.
I know that it won’t happen overnight. It’s a step by step project. But I refuse to let life pass and forget me once again. I matter as much as others do. I don’t say that it’s going to be easy. But I don’t want to feel once again what I felt a few months ago: being exhausted, on the edge, shouting every time something did not go according to plan. I don’t want to spend my life feeling bad and feeling guilty for feeling bad. I need to take action. Where to start? I don’t have a clue.
I am on the way to a better life as a mum and a woman.
Tell me, did you find your balance yet? Did it take time? Any advice or tips to share? Or are you, like me, still searching for it?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Marie Kleber. Picture: The Kerry Files.
Marie is from France and is living near Paris, after spending 6 years in Irlande. She is a single mum of one, sharing her time between work, family life and writing, her passion. She already wrote 6 books in her native langage.
She loves reading, photography, meeting friends and sharing life experiences. She blogs about domestic abuse, parenting and poetry @https://mahshiandmarshmallow.wordpress.com
More Posts - Website
