by Shaula Bellour (Indonesia) | Oct 5, 2016 | 2016, Asia and Oceania, Expat Life, Health, Indonesia, Living Abroad, Shaula Bellour
A year ago, when our daughter was nearly 8 years old, we found out that she has profound hearing loss in her left ear. We had been concerned about her hearing since she was in preschool. Her class teacher assuaged our worries and subsequent teachers never raised any issues. But still, we wondered.
We couldn’t get concrete answers
A few years later we arranged for an audiology test at our health clinic in Jakarta and were told that her hearing was fine, in fact, her left ear was “better” than her right ear. Although I should have been happy when the doctor delivered the test result, I felt skeptical and couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.
We had to wait another year until our next US visit to schedule a more thorough assessment. This time it was immediately clear that there was a problem. The audiologist grew increasingly alarmed as he ran through the evaluation process, but my daughter remained relaxed. I explained that the tests showed us that her left ear wasn’t working. “Yeah, I know that already”, she said calmly, “I’ve been telling you that I can’t hear.”
“I know, sweetie. I know.” My heart broke a little.
There were many emotions that day.
Relief….at having our concerns confirmed and finally knowing what was wrong
Guilt…because it took so long to diagnose her hearing loss
Frustration…that it hadn’t been picked up at school or in the previous test
Amazement…when considering how well she had coped until now
Worry…about the challenges she will face and the unknown path ahead
Pride…in knowing that if anyone can manage this, she can.
The next day we met with an ENT specialist who suggested that we consider a cochlear implant (not typically recommended for single-sided hearing loss). It was a lot to take in and we wanted more time to consider the full range of options. We returned to Jakarta shortly after and followed up some months later in Singapore, where the doctor there told us that if it were his daughter, he wouldn’t do anything.
Between the two doctors, we had more questions than answers and it felt daunting and confusing to be navigating this brand new path with such divergent advice, without any kind of network or supportive community, thousands of miles from our home health care system.
Getting some Clarity
One year on, we are much clearer about things. We sought a third ENT opinion on our last US visit, which confirmed our desire to pursue a hearing aid option that we hope to get soon.
Unfortunately, such devices are more expensive in this part of the world and even with insurance the out of pocket cost is significant. When I found out about this, I immediately started calling around to compare prices – ringing hearing clinics in Thailand, Singapore and even Australia. It seemed absurd in a way – I would never fly to another US state to buy anything – but with limited options here, this type of “medical tourism” is common.
We have also worked with our daughter’s school and teachers to develop and implement classroom accommodations and communication strategies to support her learning and self-advocacy. Catering for this type of individual need is somewhat new for the school, so it has been a learning process for all involved.
Getting by with no support system
Fortunately I now know a few other school families who have children with hearing issues, which is a big help, but I still feel like I’m ambling along in the dark a lot of the time. It is this feeling of isolation which has been the hardest for me.
Sometimes I think that things would be so much more straightforward if we were based in the US and could easily connect with other families, access resources and services, and follow a more predictable path. The logistics of being an expatriate family meant that our daughter’s hearing loss went undiagnosed for longer than it might have otherwise. I still feel bad about this, but I also feel good knowing that our gut instincts were correct and we’re now on the right track.
We don’t know why our daughter lost her hearing. She was a premature twin with low birth weight, which could be a contributing factor – but really, we’ll never know.
The main thing for us now is to protect and maximize the hearing she does have and provide as much support as we can in the journey ahead. She has already selected the color of her new hearing aids (“champagne”) and can’t wait to show us how responsible she is.
If anyone can do it, she can.
As an expat mom do you feel that there are health issues with your kids that might have been avoided or that you could have dealt with better back home?
This is an original post by World Mom Shaula Bellour in Jakarta, Indonesia
The image used in this post is credited to Jaya Ramchandani. It holds a Flickr: Creative Commons attribution license.
Shaula Bellour grew up in Redmond, Washington. She now lives in Jakarta, Indonesia with her British husband and 9-year old boy/girl twins. She has degrees in International Relations and Gender and Development and works as a consultant for the UN and non-governmental organizations.
Shaula has lived and worked in the US, France, England, Kenya, Eritrea, Kosovo, Lebanon and Timor-Leste. She began writing for World Moms Network in 2010. She plans to eventually find her way back to the Pacific Northwest one day, but until then she’s enjoying living in the big wide world with her family.
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by World Moms Blog | Oct 5, 2016 | 2016, Africa and Middle East, Birthing, Health, Kenya, Maternal Health, Mission Motherhood, Pregnancy
Jennifer Burden, Founder & CEO of World Moms Network
As part of World Moms Blog’s collaboration with BabyCenter’s Mission Motherhood®, our World Moms are writing posts on maternal health around the world. In today’s post, Jennifer Burden writes about Jacaranda Health’s impact on maternal health in Kenya.
“Whether you are thinking about getting pregnant, currently pregnant, or a seasoned birther, there is one thing that we can all agree about avoiding. Lines in the maternity ward!! Big ones. HUGE. Because, hey, when a mother’s gotta birth, a mother’s gotta birth, right? Get out of our way, we’re coming through!!!
Long lines are the reality for moms who seek to give birth in public clinics in Kenya. Add lack of good procedures to prevent infection, being disrespected by health workers, rushed care, and overlooked emergencies to the mix; and Kenyan women report having bad experiences at public clinics. Giving birth can be frightening and dangerous for moms here. The Kenyan government is committed to help; however, there is little oversight or training to make the improvements needed…”
Read the full post, Maternal health worth traveling miles for in Kenya, over at BabyCenter’s Mission Motherhood®!
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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by ThinkSayBe | Oct 4, 2016 | Awareness, Being Thankful, Culture, Gifts, Gratefulness, Happiness, Health, Heartfulness, Inspirational, Me-Time, Meditation, Nature, Parenting, Peace, ThinkSayBe, World Voice
I ask my one year old son: “Who is Wesley?” His eyes brighten up as he remembers this question, and he happily and proudly answers “I”. He seems happy and proud because he knows our reaction to his showings of intelligence; not because he really understands that he is … himself.
That seems to be the question that many of us have, isn’t it? Who am I? What am I doing here? What am I doing in life?
Through the years, my life has made for a very interesting journey. I have learned, unlearned, thought that I unlearned, and have forgotten some things I thought were really important aspects of the type of life I wanted for myself, and my family. I have survived and I have lived, and I continue to be amazed at how much there is to understand about our experience in this physical realm. During my formative years I was raised within a religious structure, and I won’t name it only because I don’t want to provide a filter with which to read this article. Also, my ideas are just that: mine, and not a representation of any religion or belief system.
After conversations with people young and old, from here and there, and after experiencing energies that I couldn’t really explain within the context of religion, I have slowly come to believe in God a little differently. Maybe I should say it’s very differently because now I consider the possibility of God being she, and not he; or God being ____ and not anything we even understand. And that is way different than the solidified He that we often use in our speech.
On this part of my journey, which I should say started in 2009, I have become more aware of myself as a part of the universe. This has manifested most dramatically in my painting, and the connected-ness I feel whenever I let myself tune in to all that surrounds me.
If you have the opportunity to watch the movie, The Last Mimzy, I suggest that you do if for nothing else, just to see one scene: A little girl puts her hand in this space that is controlled by a force that is from out of this world *(literally). When she does this, her hand separates into millions of particles. It is absolutely beautiful and astonishing. When I saw this it made me think of a thought I once had. That scene was exactly what I was thinking – that creation exists as star matter gathered in different ways, to have different functions, but we (as in everything that exists) are all the same thing. Seeing that movie put into visual what I had in my mind.
So, where am I going with this? It is this – since 2009 I have allowed myself to be curious about life and creation, and to find the connection among God-based answers, soul-based answers, mind (consciousness)-based answers, and scientific answers. By doing so I have been able to experience the world differently. Some things have made me wonder if I am making things up. Could I have felt the presence of ancestors watching my husband and I when we were only friends? Could I have felt that good an energy when I put finger to canvas and painted an abstract, but soulful picture? Could I have dreamed of a place I had never visited, but upon describing it to a friend I hadn’t seen in 15 years and whom I just reconnected with a few months prior to the dream, she would finish describing the place of which I dreamed, and knew exactly where it was? Could I have climbed a mountain successfully by talking to all the elements, acknowledging their power along that of the mountain, and asking them to let me experience a safe climb? Was it coincidence that the climb was as peaceful and safe as it was?
I have had so many experiences that if you don’t believe in universal inter-connectivity, then it will just sound like craziness.
In 2009 I was not meditating. I thought about starting doing so for years, but never have. Now that I have started I understand it is not something I should force, and am content with the fact that I never did force it; it must have not been a part of my journey at that time. I started meditating only a few months ago and it has improved my life considerably.
Early this year I considered taking anti-depressants. It had been a battle to even acknowledge that I might actually need help chemically, and that went along with battling whatever the things were that I felt so badly about. I won’t go into details, but I will say that my children are awesome. They are being children perfectly. My husband is my friend, my love, my silent rock and I love him to the ends of the multiverse (forget the moon & back. I’m just loving him beyond infinity). So it wasn’t about any of that. It was that I would start feeling down and would start spiraling. I would watch the spiral and knew I didn’t want to go down in it, but it was so hard to stay out of it. I would watch canvas and paint. I’d just pass it sometimes like it wasn’t there. I’d look at my camera and not want to take photos. I’d not want to write any poetry, and would make myself focus on the many blessings, so I could write a blog post or two. However, making myself see these blessings, and actually acknowledging them are two different things, to me.
I noticed that when I meditated more and more, that more and more I would feel better.
I would believe that I could be a part of the art community. Why not? Why not I? Who was I anyways? Wasn’t I someone whose work could be displayed somewhere?
Meditation helped me (here comes a cliché) get centered. Cliché or not, it is absolutely true.
I decided to meditate instead of the anti-depressants and I have done so since February.
I don’t always feel great, and don’t expect that that is how it works. I think we learn from feeling down and from being jubilant. I do, however, see the difference in myself, and hear it in what my children say about how they feel about mommy (completely out of the blue “I love my mommy” “My mommy is nice” statements to random people).
Meditation inspires me to be happily alive. Not only does it inspire my creativity by unlocking … artist’s block (like writer’s block), but it also helps me so that I am not taken by life’s little trials.
I see it this way: small trials can be ignored, but sometimes this is done in a way that is like unto filling an hourglass with grains of sand. Each grain is a small trial. Then, before you know it, the hourglass has passed the last grain and you can’t take it anymore… you react, upset about too many things to remember, but you didn’t truly processed them so they piled up and filled you up in a negative way. Through meditation, I feel like I am learning to really regard small trials as just that. There is still an hourglass, as habits are hard to break, but it isn’t getting as many grains of sand in it.
I will share that since beginning meditation I have exhibited my photography at a local event once; I have painted new pieces and exhibited them in two cities in a neighboring State; I am working on a two-country anthropology project to bring children closer to one another, and it will exhibit in the next few months at a local museum or gallery; and I will participate in a really funky (good) art exhibit that fills a tunnel up with colorful chalk designs.
To say that I am feeling better and better about myself is an understatement. I sincerely believe that meditation is helping me tap into my subconscious and bring out my potential so that it can transform from potential, to actualized and tangible reality.
The last thing I would like to say to you, is that if you do decide to give meditation a try, to keep a journal about your experiences. Do this faithfully. When you look back at your journal in six months, or one year or more, I think you will be surprised by your journey. A journal will solidify the fact that you have made your life better by forming the habit of meditation and making it an integral part of your lifestyle.
This Friday, October 7th, at 9:30 AM EST, join me by registering here for a chat and a Heartfulness Relaxation and Meditation session, as part of the GLOW webinar series.
If you have questions for me, send them to glow@heartfulness.org. Judith and Purnima, our very own in-house #Heartfulness Trainers are hosting me for this webinar, and I shall be chatting with them, and with you.
Keynote Speaker, #WorldMom Sophia
Sophia Neghesti-Johnson is a photographer, painter, and a pencil artist. She is a children’s book writer with her main focus being educating the reader on the tribes of Tanzania. Sophia uses her photography to fund girls’ education, and is currently pursuing her higher education goals as well. Sophia is mother to three children. She has an amazing & astute teenage girl, a clever &sassy three year old girl, and a sweet & musical boy who is almost two years of age. She tries to be a good mom, a good wife, and a good person to others and herself. Sophia has been practicing Heartfulness Meditation for about 8 months now. In her spare time she loves to go for a hike or a jog: it’s like meditation on the go in the midst of creation in motion. Sophia writes on her blog at ThinkSayBe.wordpress.com, and also contributes to WorldMomsNetwork.com
GLOW Webinar Series – Inspiration through Meditation – this week with …!
#WorldMoms Sophia, Purnima, Judith
I am a mom amongst some other titles life has fortunately given me. I love photography & the reward of someone being really happy about a photo I took of her/him. I work, I study, I try to pay attention to life. I like writing. I don't understand many things...especially why humans treat each other & other living & inanimate things so vilely sometimes. I like to be an idealist, but when most fails, I do my best to not be a pessimist: Life itself is entirely too beautiful, amazing & inspiring to forget that it is!
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by World Moms Blog | Oct 3, 2016 | 2016, AIDS, Asia and Oceania, Health, India, Maternal Health, Mission Motherhood, Purnima
As part of World Moms Blog’s collaboration with BabyCenter’s Mission Motherhood®, our World Moms are writing posts on maternal health around the world. In today’s post, Purnima Ramakrishnan interviewed a doctor in her local hospital, Dr. Vijila Christian, who is the Senior Anti Retroviral Therapy Medical Officer at the Government Hospital of Thoracic Medicine in Tambaram, Chennai. Dr. Christian is dedicated to see that more babies are born HIV-free in India.
“’We cannot disclose if a client is HIV positive to their partner without consent from the client. This creates problems because when we cannot disclose, we cannot do adequate counselling as a couple.’
In fact, Dr. Christian once had a client who kept both her pregnancy status and HIV status a secret from her partner until her third trimester. She was a very thin built woman, so she did not begin showing until she was 8 months along.
‘So what can I do with such clients?” she asks with a shake of her head.'”
Read the full post, Counseling mothers with HIV in India: The dawn of hope, over at BabyCenter’s Mission Motherhood®!
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
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by ThinkSayBe | Sep 16, 2016 | Advice, Being Thankful, Caring, Change, Communication, Family, Gratefulness, Happiness, Health, Identity, Independence, Life, Life Balance, Life Lesson, Memories, North America, Peace, Relationships, Respect, Responsibility, Responsibility, Stress, The Americas, ThinkSayBe, Time, USA, World Motherhood
The last time I saw my father was in March 1991. In July 2016, after 25 years and many more questions, I finally saw him again.
Leading up to the day he was coming, I kept wondering what it would be like to see him after so long. Would we both cry? Would I be happy, or mad, or something I didn’t yet know? So it was fairly perplexing to discover that I’d react as if I had just seen him the previous week.
My older brothers, my husband, my oldest niece and I picked him up along with my youngest brother, whom I hadn’t yet met. The airport was busy with people and taxi drivers bustling about, which made the experience kind of surreal, as if experiencing it from outside of myself with ‘Café sounds’ playing as mood music in the background.
We all hugged, got in our cars and drove to my mom’s house. I was really curious to see what my parents’ first in-person interaction in 25 years would be like. There were no fireworks and no war-like explosions; just hugs and excited happy voices.
I pulled my husband to the side later that evening and explained how weird it was to not feel anything extreme. How could I not want to cry from seeing my father and my youngest brother? How could I not want to yell in frustration for having so many questions left unanswered? In the end, I theorized that because I already knew that I wouldn’t be getting any answers, I was mentally and emotionally prepared for this very special encounter.
Although we were around one another here and there for about two weeks, it was only toward the end of my stay that my father and I had ‘the’ conversation. We were at the beach, and he was by the water, standing alone. I walked over to take a food order from him, and he said: “Listen, I am really sorry for not being in your life, but all that is in the past, and I hope we can move forward with a new life. Okay?”
I could see it was a difficult sentiment for him to get out, as he could barely look at me as he spoke. It seemed that he wanted to let me know how bad he felt, but he wasn’t going to get into it, whatever his reasons were.
All I could do, given where we were, was say “okay”, smile, and take his food order. On my way back to the restaurant at the beach I couldn’t help but analyze my response. I was a bit incredulous at myself, but I also knew this wasn’t the place to have ‘the’ conversation with my dad.
The sum of the experience, for me, was to learn that life presents us with a myriad situations in which innumerable people are involved. Sometimes we find the strength to ask questions to find closure, and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we ask the questions and we get answers, and other times we don’t. What do we do then, when there are no answers but the answer-bearers are alive?
We can come up with as many solutions for this as there are people, but I found that my lesson was to let it go and agree that it’s all in the past.
Finding closure for yourself can be difficult, but if you pretend that there is no other way (for instance, if you wanted to ask Michael Jackson how many times he rehearsed The Man in the Mirror, you couldn’t do so, and you’d have to be at peace with that), then I believe you can put your mind to accepting that you can move on, taking your brain and your heart with you and have closure regardless.
What are some of your experiences in which you wanted closure but couldn’t get it? What did you do about it? Does it affect your parenting in any way?
This is an original post to World Moms Network by Sophia of ThinkSayBe. Photo credit to the author.
I am a mom amongst some other titles life has fortunately given me. I love photography & the reward of someone being really happy about a photo I took of her/him. I work, I study, I try to pay attention to life. I like writing. I don't understand many things...especially why humans treat each other & other living & inanimate things so vilely sometimes. I like to be an idealist, but when most fails, I do my best to not be a pessimist: Life itself is entirely too beautiful, amazing & inspiring to forget that it is!
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by Alison Fraser | Sep 6, 2016 | Casting a Wider Net, Education, Feminism, Girls, Health, Human Rights, Puberty, Social Good, The Advocates of Human Rights, World Moms Blog, World Voice
Delivering Kits
Last April, I traveled to Nicaragua, staying in the Chinandega, Managua and Granada regions of the country. I have traveled to many places, but never to Central America so I was really excited to embark on this new adventure. Nicaragua is famous for its volcanoes (including volcano boarding) and its amazing waterfront beaches where surfing is a must. It’s rich history, unique culture and incredible people make it an idea travel destination.
But Nicaragua has undergone many transformations over the years, rebuilding from internal unrest and strained global relations. Almost half of the Nicaraguan population lives below the poverty line. People struggle to provide the basic necessities to their children, and for many young girls, this can mean having to miss school when their periods start.
Nicaragua Clinic
Just before going to Nicaragua, I met an amazing woman, Brenda Porter, living in my community who runs the local chapter of ‘Days for Girls’. I had never heard of the organization before reading about Brenda in the local newspaper. As the name suggests, Brenda and her countless volunteers, dedicate most of their free time to making and assembling sustainable menstruation kits, that are then brought all over the world to communities in need. With access to the menstruation kits, girls can attend school all year round, not missing school because of their periods. Missing a week of school per month has a huge impact on the educational success of girls. It means they are put at a disadvantage as soon as puberty hits. I connected with Brenda, and with the support of my friends, travel companions and Brenda’s incredible ‘Days for Girls’ network, I was able to bring two suitcases full of menstruation kits to Nicaragua free of charge.
With the help of the owners of the eco-resort I stayed at, El Coco Loco, we were put in touch with an American nurse’ Margarite (Meg), who runs a health clinic in a rural area outside Chinandega (http://coenicaragua.weebly.com/). She was thrilled to receive the kits and held a sexual education clinic for local village girls before distributing the kits. She was so overwhelmed by the response of local girls to the kits, and had no idea that there was such a need in the community.
Days For Girls
Days for Girls is a global organization. If you are travelling to countries where girls may be in need of the menstruation kits, I highly recommend reaching out to this wonderful organization. No girl should be put at a disadvantage in school when her period starts. And, if you have a local chapter nearby, please consider donating time to help cut material, sew pads and assemble kits.
For more information, please visit: www.daysforgirls.org
This is an original post by Alison Fraser who is Founder and Director of Mom2Mom Africa.
Picture Credits to the author
Alison Fraser is the mother of three young girls ranging in age from 5 to 9 years old. She lives with her family in Cambridge, Ontario, Canada. Alison works as an Environmental Toxicologist with a human environment consulting company and is an active member of the Society of Environmental Toxicology and Chemistry (SETAC). She is also the founder and director of the Canadian Not for Profit Organization, Mom2Mom Africa, which serves to fund the school fees of children and young women in rural Tanzania. Recently recognized and awarded a "Women of Waterloo Region" award, Alison is very involved in charitable events within her community including Christmas Toy and School Backpack Drives for the local foodbank.
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