by Tina Santiago-Rodriguez (Philippines) | Apr 24, 2014 | 2014, Inspirational, Philippines, Tina Santiago-Rodriguez, World Motherhood
Dear Mom Who Wants To Do It All,
I’m writing this as much for myself as for you. I sense your worry. I feel your fatigue. I can see the endless to-do lists in your notebook and the jam-packed schedules in your planner. I can hear you cry out with frustration, wondering “How.in.the.world.can.I.do.it.all?! There’s just too much to do and too little time!”
I don’t have the answer to your question but I do know this. You…and I? We don’t really have to, you know, do it all. We don’t! Really.
The world may tell us otherwise though. But I’m here to remind you (and myself) that we don’t. Yes, we may want to do it all but most of the time we don’t have to. Sometimes, all we have to do is just be. Just be a wife. Just be a mom. Just be yourself. Just be.
Strip down your to-do lists to the bare essentials.
Simplify your schedules to make more time for the essentials that make life truly rich and worth living. The essentials like your family.
Today, I challenge you (and myself!) to embrace the fact that you really can’t do it all… But you can do any or all of the following:
Say yes to your child when she asks you to play with her.
Read not just 1, but 3 (or more!) books when your child asks you to read to him.
Hug your spouse/partner and whisper sweet nothings into his ear.
Take 5 minutes to just breathe…deep breaths.
Give thanks for all the blessings you have but may take for granted.
When you really think about it, not doing it all seems so much more attractive, doesn’t it? So how about it? Will you join me in my quest to focus on ‘the essentials’ of life? To try to not want to ‘do it all’ but do what’s needed? I hope we can ‘talk’ about this in the comments!
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Tina Rodriquez-Santiago, Truly Rich Mom, in The Philippines.
Tina Santiago-Rodriguez is a wife and homeschool mom by vocation, a licensed
physical therapist by education and currently the managing editor of Mustard, a
Catholic children's magazine published by Shepherd's Voice
Publications in the Philippines, by profession. She has been writing
passionately since her primary school years in Brunei, and contributes
regularly to several Philippine and foreign-based online and print publications. She also does sideline editing and scriptwriting jobs, when she has the time. Find out more about Tina through her personal
blogs: Truly Rich Mom and Teacher Mama Tina.
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by Martine de Luna (Philippines) | Apr 9, 2014 | 2014, Family, Motherhood, Parenting, Philippines, World Motherhood
I haven’t written for World Moms Blog in a while, I’ve had the privilege to work with two wonderful organizations in our country in the past few months, which is why I’ve been lying low around here. Most of my work has been online: blog coaching, doing digital strategy, etc. To run down what’s happened since the beginning of 2014:
- I rebranded my website. It’s now called “Make it Blissful,” and is dedicated to the quest for meaningful living.
- I started doing more workshops, as part of my shift to entrepreneurship. I’ve been doing monthly workshops since December 2013, which I would do quarterly in 2013.
- I worked on several websites, two of which are advocacy-related and geared at fund-raising efforts for our countrymen who were affected by the deadly Typhoon Haiyan last year. The websites I created for them were ProjectHopePH and ApldeApFoundation.org. (Do check them out when you have time!)
- I’ve coached more than ten ladies since the beginning of this year, on how to launch their own online platforms and communities.
- I started teaching some blogging classes (non-credited, short course only) at a local college.
- And, to date, I’m a contributing writer for several mom-centric and women-centric blogs, such as The Work at Home Woman, The Mom Writes, Glam-O-Mamas, and of course, The World Moms Blog.
Whew.
Yes, you could say I’m busy. I’ve had to do all this while homeschooling my son as well, which is no easy feat. We have a very flexible, crafts and arts-based homeschool setup, though, because I’d rather he play more than study. Some days I feel like I should slow down — and I do — so that I can play with him some more.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m too busy. I stay at home most days of the week, save for on-location meetings for clients who aren’t as Web-savvy (read: they don’t or can’t meet over Skype!). Still, even at home, I have to deliberately say “no” at times to things that compete for Vito’s attention. While my son understands that Mom has to work, even though she’s at home, I know myself and when I am getting too wrapped up in work instead of working with my son.
There will always be a juggle for me. I’ve decided to be a work-at-home mom, after all. These days though, as my son gets older and more curious about the world he lives in, I have to be mindful of our sacred times together. As a woman whose “office” is limited to a small deskspace and a laptop, I also have to be careful that I don’t get sucked into my microworld of obligations.
Yes, of course, I have to deliver the best work to my clients — and I’m very grateful for the clients I have. But, I cannot and will not lose out on the daily challenges and memory-crafting moments that the universe has blessed me with as a mother.
And so, this is why I’m glad I can still write openly and freely about motherhood here on WMB. My fellow mom-bloggers here have been so supportive of my work, and were so sweet to let me have a “blog-iatus” (i.e. “hiatus”) from writing here so that I could catch my breath. I’m very glad to be back , albeit I’ll no longer have my editor role. That’s what’s great about this community: Moms support one another, no questions asked.
So, thank you for reading this, whoever you are. It means so much to me that I can keep on blogging here, from my small workspace here in the urban jungle of Manila. Isn’t blogging awesome?
This is an original post by Martine de Luna for World Moms Blog. You can find her on her blog, Make it Blissful, and work with her at Martine de Luna – Digital Creatives. Photo credit to the author.
Martine is a work-at-home Mom and passionate blogger. A former expat kid, she has a soft spot for international efforts, like WMB. While she's not blogging, she's busy making words awesome for her clients, who avail of her marketing writing, website writing, and blog consulting services. Martine now resides in busy, sunny Manila, the Philippines, with her husband, Ton, and toddler son, Vito Sebastian. You can find her blogging at DaintyMom.com.
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by Shaula Bellour (Indonesia) | Apr 3, 2014 | 2014, Expat Life, Indonesia, Kids, Living Abroad, Parenting, Safety, Shaula Bellour
Recently, while checking out at the grocery store my 6-year old daughter wandered a few aisles down to chat with someone while she waited. In child-friendly Indonesia, this is pretty common.
Though my son is generally more wary of people, my daughter is naturally outgoing and enjoys “making friends” wherever we go – usually chatting away in English about school, her friends, her cat, etc.
My son soon went over to join her while I finished paying. As I started to wheel the shopping cart in their direction, I looked up to see that my daughter was giving this man a giant hug around the waist.
My stomach lurched.
Somehow we’d missed out a key lesson from Stranger Danger 101.
We quickly left the store, parked the cart on the sidewalk outside and discussed the fact that it’s not appropriate to hug or touch people that are not our friends or family. I left it at that for the moment, yet days later I found myself still reflecting on the experience and how cultural variables have shaped my thinking.
Growing up in the US, child safety rules were ingrained from a young age, including the widely used “stranger danger” warning that is intended to keep children safe from adults they don’t know.
In Indonesia, it is not so black and white. Typical rules such as “Don’t talk to strangers” can be tricky, if not impossible. Jakarta dwellers are extremely friendly and it is common to talk with and be approached by strangers wherever you go. For me, these kindly interactions are one of the joys of living here and it’s often the presence of my children that sparks the most interesting exchanges.
Another rule, “Don’t accept gifts from strangers,” can also be difficult to avoid. My children have been offered sweets by security guards and local treats by waiting area strangers. We may not always partake of these offerings, but there are times when it would be impolite to refuse them.
Children in particular attract a great deal of attention in Indonesia and strangers frequently pinch cheeks, touch hair and even take photos. My kids don’t usually appreciate this, but it can be a good opportunity to explore personal boundaries and what is comfortable or not.
Not long ago, an adoring Grandma-type reached out to stroke my daughter’s hair while she was washing her hands in the airport restroom. My daughter recoiled and then shouted “NO! I don’t like it!” at the top of her lungs. Although she probably shocked the small tour group of elderly ladies, her boundaries were clear.
In terms of larger safety concerns, it is interesting to consider how perceptions of danger in different contexts – and perceptions of safety – influence my parenting.
The recent article by Hanna Rosin,”The Overprotected Kid,” raises some important points about these perceptions:
“When you ask parents why they are more protective than their parents were, they might answer that the world is more dangerous than it was when they were growing up. But this isn’t true, or at least not in the way that we think. For example, parents now routinely tell their children never to talk to strangers, even though all available evidence suggests that children have about the same (very slim) chance of being abducted by a stranger as they did a generation ago. Maybe the real question for sharing is, how did these fears come to have such a hold over us? And what have our children lost—and gained—as we’ve succumbed to them?”
Like any parent, I want my children to be safe. However, I don’t want them to grow up in an atmosphere of fear and mistrust. To me, rather than emphasizing stranger danger, it seems far more useful to instill confidence and teach them to recognize and avoid certain situations, rather than people in general.
I hope that I can equip my children with the skills, knowledge and strategies they will need to protect themselves and be safe but not scared. Obviously, it’s an ongoing process but one that is particularly important for our family as we move between countries and as our children grow up and encounter new situations.
How do you navigate cultural norms and perceptions related to child safety?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Shaula Bellour, mother of twins and now living in Indonesia.
Photo Credit: Wilson X . This image holds a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.
Shaula Bellour grew up in Redmond, Washington. She now lives in Jakarta, Indonesia with her British husband and 9-year old boy/girl twins. She has degrees in International Relations and Gender and Development and works as a consultant for the UN and non-governmental organizations.
Shaula has lived and worked in the US, France, England, Kenya, Eritrea, Kosovo, Lebanon and Timor-Leste. She began writing for World Moms Network in 2010. She plans to eventually find her way back to the Pacific Northwest one day, but until then she’s enjoying living in the big wide world with her family.
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by Patricia Cuyugan (Philippines) | Mar 20, 2014 | 2014, Motherhood, Philippines, Stress, World Motherhood
Today, for the first time in a long time, I said no to a work project. See, last year was difficult for our family, with my husband being out of work for some months. I had to assume the role of breadwinner while still functioning as mommy, wife, and woman. I know a lot of you know how that feels. I knew that I wasn’t completely alone, though, and that my husband was always around, ready to help. But that didn’t stop me from feeling the pressure that came with bills, tuition and car payments and other expenses that came knocking on my door each month.
I accepted every work opportunity that came my way, and turned over a lot of my home responsibilities to my husband. For a while, the pressure caused me to forget how it was to live. It made me lose sight of what I had set as my purpose a couple of years ago when I chose to work from home – to focus on my family. The stress that I was putting on myself made me cranky and moody. It also caused me to doubt my abilities and question if what I was doing was right. Worst of all, it nearly made me lose faith that things would work out.
Life was, basically, not nice, and it took a lot for optimistic me to see the sweet side of every day. But, as life teaches us, there is always a rainbow after the rain, and the sun always rises after a long dark night. And today, as I said no to that project, I felt the sun shine down on me, and saw that beautiful colorful rainbow. I’m glad that I am now out of that funk.
This post may just be simple, short and sweet, but it goes out to each one of you. I want to remind you today to love yourself, and that means making time for yourself amidst all the chaos that you might be facing. I want for each of you to stop and cherish the moment you are in right now, to hug your husband and inhale his scent, to play with your child and take in all the giggles.
We all have our long days, long weeks, in my case, one long year, and all it takes is a few seconds in the middle of all that to stop and remember what you really are living for. Remember your purpose, and live it out. And before you know it, you’ll begin to feel the warm sun shine down on you, too.
How easy or difficult is it for you to say ‘No’ to something?
This is an original post by our contributor Mrs. P. Cuyugan from Philippines. Photo credit to the author.
Patricia Cuyugan is a wife, mom, cat momma, and a hands-on homemaker from Manila, whose greatest achievement is her pork adobo. She has been writing about parenting for about as long as she’s been a parent, which is just a little over a decade. When she’s not writing, you can usually find her reading a book, binge-watching a K-drama series, or folding laundry. She really should be writing, though! Follow her homemaking adventures on Instagram at @patriciacuyugs.
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by Ana Gaby | Mar 6, 2014 | 2014, Communication, Family Travel, Home, Indonesia, International, Kids, Living Abroad, Motherhood, Parenting, Travel, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Not too long ago, my four-year-old started understanding the concept of fairness vs. unfairness. To him, life is unfair, oh so many times ,during the day. To me, the fact that he can express his frustration over a denied chocolate treat before dinner or being sent back to sleep in his room when he tries to sneak into mom and dad’s bed, is just another sign of my toddler becoming a big boy.
Evan has not only learned to voice his frustration but has become a strong little boy with convictions. He will call my husband and I out on our mistakes and let us know how he believes what we are doing is not fair and shouldn’t be done. Sometimes I just chuckle, but sometimes my heart just skips a beat. For Evan, unfairness is represented by tangible things he cannot have or those few extra minutes in front of the TV that he wasn’t allowed. I feel so blessed that, so far, this is all the unfairness he has had to face. (more…)
Ana Gaby is a Mexican by birth and soul, American by heart and passport and Indonesian by Residence Permit. After living, studying and working overseas, she met the love of her life and endeavored in the adventure of a lifetime: country-hopping every three years for her husband’s job. When she's not chasing her two little boys around she volunteers at several associations doing charity work in Indonesia and documents their adventures and misadventures in South East Asia at Stumble Abroad.
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by Veena Davis (Singapore) | Feb 27, 2014 | 2014, School, Singapore, World Motherhood, Younger Children
My Little One started school during the New Year, and it was with great trepidation that we approached his impending education. And this was for many reasons…
For one thing, he knew no other language but our native tongue. And we were very concerned about how he’d interact in school. In fact, we were more concerned about how the teacher could understand him as there was no one who spoke or wrote the language at his school.
Second, this was truly his first foray into the outside world. He has lived a very sheltered 4 years, and was always at home with nearly no interaction with peers of his own age. This wasn’t intentional, rather, it just happened that everywhere we lived, the kids were always much bigger than him; and, he was also very shy.
Third, was for ourselves. We really had no clue on how to go about educating a little child. Both of us remember our mothers teaching us, but that was when we were much older. How does one go about getting a 4 year old to hold his pencil and learn the alphabet? What does one do when he says he wants to play now and study later? Do we force him to learn, or just let it go?
Despite our misgivings, our son started school on Jan 2nd, and the first day went okay. The school permitted parents to sit with kids on the first day, and we had a nice time watching the proceedings. The second day was when the waterworks started, and that lasted till last week.
Every morning, he’d wake up even before the alarm, and ask me if it was time for school. It is heart-wrenching to hear that plaintive tone in his voice…but as advised by many, we were not taking no for an answer. Come rain or shine, he had to go to school.
Then came the homework – for the first time, he had to write “A,B,C”, and we weren’t really sure how to tackle it either. Since neither my husband, nor I, were too endowed in the patience department, we didn’t have such a great time these past 2 months. Most days were filled with screams and cries as we forced the little thing to hold his pencil and write. And you know the funny thing – after we had screamed at him for inverting his Bs or not getting the right slant for his As, he would come up to us after an hour or so, and write a perfect A and B.
I know, we were horrible to him – and our only excuse is that we didn’t want to appear to be too lenient and that he get the impression that it was okay not to want to learn. And I don’t know if it was the terror of the home classes that made it doubly difficult for him to adjust to school, where everything was foreign to him.
You see, we feel like we are living a race now – once we get back home after work, we just have time for a bath and to eat, as Little One must be in bed atleast by 10, so that he wakes up fresh at 7 the next day for school.
But two weeks ago, we made the decision not to pressure him so much – because we were also distressed on seeing his pitiful face every time he had to learn something. We decided that any homework would be finished off speedily by holding his hand and helping him write it, while learning it would be done during the weekends, when there was no pressure on any one.
And I don’t know if it was this decision, or as Little One has made friends and adjusted to school – but since last week, he hasn’t cried at all when going to school. He seems more happy about school, and he keeps singing songs they sing in school. He tells me about the kids in his class (he is already interested in girls) and what he ate and the general happenings in school.
And the atmosphere at home is also different now, with him being happy about school and life in general feels so much more lighter and happier. The lesson I’ve learned from the school fiasco is not to pressurise kids so much that they lose all zest for life. His sad face, and moping around all evening was so depressing, and frankly, I was dreading the years up ahead.
After all, he is just 4 years old, and he is a bright little spark. Let him have his fun and the learning will come slowly.
Have you ever faced a situation like this? What do you do to get your kids to study?
Veena has experienced living in different climes of Asia - born and brought up in the hot Middle East, and a native of India from the state known as God’s Own Country, she is currently based in the tropical city-state of Singapore. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Several years ago, she came across World Moms Network (then World Moms Blog) soon after its launch, and was thrilled to become a contributor. She has a 11-year old son and a quadragenarian husband (although their ages might be inversed to see how they are with each other sometimes). ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ On a professional front, she works in the financial sector - just till she earns enough to commit to her dream job of full-time bibliophile. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ You can also find Veena at her personal blog, Merry Musing. ⠀
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