SINGAPORE: Less Stuff, More Life

SINGAPORE: Less Stuff, More Life

Mother Theresa quoteEver felt like you have way too much stuff in your life? I do and it’s causing me unnecessary stress.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit, but I’m a hoarder. I keep cereal boxes and even toilet rolls thinking that I’ll use them for craft work with my daughter, someday, someday…

Plus I’m a huge sucker for pretty home decoration and knick knacks. I also believe that a girl can never has too many pairs of shoes and a wardrobe should be well equipped for just about any occasion. And it doesn’t help that I have itchy fingers that like to dabble in new craft projects every now and then (my latest pet project is December Daily and I’m embarking on Project Life). And as a result, my house is threatening to burst at the sides…

And so for my 2014 New Year resolution, my new mantra is “Less Stuff, More Life“.

My husband was more than happy when I shared this with him. I thought I even saw his thought bubble with a huge, “It’s about time!” complete with a huge exclamation mark.

While it may be too early for New Year resolutions, it’s a good idea to think about what you want for yourself in the brand new year. I’m resolving to be intentional and purposeful with my life, time and energy. That would also means that

I will have to say no to some things in my life so that I can make space for things that truly matter.

I’m making a choice to do things that will add joy and contentment to eliminate stress and tiredness so that I can enjoy more life and go the distance.

Gifting the gift of an experience

And on that note, I’m doing something different for this Christmas. Instead of giving presents all wrapped up in a box and fancy paper, I’m choosing to give friends and family the gift of an experience. In our society, most people around me don’t need anything (though they may have plenty of wants). And I think what will make it meaningful is to gift them an experience be it a cooking class, a play or maybe even a meal lovingly prepared for them.

Here are some ideas I came up for my own gift giving:

  • For a child, a membership to the zoo, or field trip. Even a membership at an indoor playground will be received.
  • For a spouse, love coupons for monthly, or up it to weekly, dates. Or how about a spa package that you both can enjoy? 🙂 And if they like the arts, then a play, musical, concert or even movie treat will be much appreciated.
  • For a friend who’s also a parent, a night of babysitting will be so so appreciated.
  • For a coffee fan, a list of new cafes that have popped up so that they can go cafe hopping.

And since my hubby’s birthday is before Christmas, he’s the first recipient of my experience gift! I can’t wait to surprise him with what’s in store.

Have you finished all your Christmas shopping? If not, perhaps you’ll like to rethink your gifts and challenge yourself to think out of the box and give someone an experience rather than a wrapped up gift. Let me know how it works out, if you do!

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by World Moms Blog contributor, Susan Koh, of Singapore. 

Photo credit to World Moms Blog. 

Susan Koh

Susan is from Singapore. As a full-time working mom, she's still learning to perfect the art of juggling between career and family while leading a happy and fulfilled life. She can't get by a day without coffee and swears she's no bimbo even though she likes pink and Hello Kitty. She's loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at A Juggling Mom.

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INDONESIA: The Case for Number Three

INDONESIA: The Case for Number Three

IMG_0034As I type these words, my almost four-year-old is entertaining himself playing with one of his many toy airplanes. In his mind, our bedroom is an airport and the sky is the limit. In the room next door my baby sleeps. I call him my baby but in fact he just turned two years old last week and baby is the last word I should use to describe him. My second child is now a full-fletched toddler and his chubby cheeks and legs keep slimming and he keeps transforming into a little boy. I don’t have a baby anymore.

We always said we wanted three kids, even when we were dating and testing the waters talking about our potential future families. When Evan, our oldest, turned one, we knew right away we wanted another baby soon so we got pregnant soon after. When Josh turned one, we knew we weren’t ready and now that he has just turned two we know it’s time to think about this again, but we just don’t feel ready.

We still want three kids, but it never seems to be the right time. If I could just fast-forward the 9 months of pregnancy and have a little one right here right now, I would do it. But just the thought of going through a pregnancy with two little guys to chase makes me hesitant. (more…)

Ana Gaby

Ana Gaby is a Mexican by birth and soul, American by heart and passport and Indonesian by Residence Permit. After living, studying and working overseas, she met the love of her life and endeavored in the adventure of a lifetime: country-hopping every three years for her husband’s job. When she's not chasing her two little boys around she volunteers at several associations doing charity work in Indonesia and documents their adventures and misadventures in South East Asia at Stumble Abroad.

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INDIA: Perfection, Competition and Swami Vivekananda

INDIA: Perfection, Competition and Swami Vivekananda

 

"Education is the manifestation of the perfection already in man – Swami Vivakananda"

“Education is the manifestation of the perfection already in man – Swami Vivakananda”

Sometime back I wrote about Abraham Lincoln’s letter to his son’s school teacher and my perspective and how it was appropriate for our lives here too. To bring up a good human being and to help him/her learn and get educated is the role of the parent and also the teacher at school.

Well, there were these competitions going on in my seven year old son’s school again, here, in India. This time it was Western Music. I am so fond of these musicals. My son sang some of my favorites and then Que Sara Sara and Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. He continued to the preliminaries, quarter finals, semi-finals and the finals. But one day while preparing for the finals at home, my son suddenly said, “Not all are going to win.” 

I said, “Yes, they are not. But if you want to win, you need to practise.”

 

He was not the type of person who was interested to sing, but the type who loved to listen to music and songs. And I discovered this during this time.

“But amma, I don’t care.”

“Well, you should do your best. And then if you don’t get to win, that is fine. But you should not just give up.”

“I am not giving up. I just don’t want to sing.”

“Oh?”

Well, I was at a loss of words. I did not want him to do something he did not want to do. But then we were already into the finals, and I thought was it not a sheer waste if he did not even participate? This got me thinking…

The next day I found this quote in his school’s website.

Education is the manifestation of the perfection already in man – Swami Vivakananda.

We send our children to school for education and the teachers and parents are loving and affectionate and try to encourage the children to imbibe knowledge.

But then, what do they actually learn? Only what they chose to!

And also, sometimes they don’t learn and at other times they are very smart in academics. They also indulge in sports and other extra-curricular activities. We are happy, sometimes sad, and at times indifferent to various achievements, successes and failures and mediocre performances of our children. So many choices, actions, results, and yet Swami Vivekananda says we are all perfect.

If everyone is perfect, then where are the gaps? Why do only some people win? Why are there so many differences and scales of grades? ‘Manifestation’ is the significant word. What manifests out of a child is important. And whatever manifests, the society, the parents and the teachers are responsible to some extent. And then the children themselves are finally responsible. We bring up a child, giving him a lot of room to explore, think, discover and find joy, and, thereby, allow him to manifest his perfection.

I did not ask him to practise a lot for the singing competition. If he is not interested, let him not be. Maybe he is interested in building robots. Maybe he is interested in literary pursuits. Maybe he is interested in astronomy when he points out the pole star and Venus.

Because he is talented to sing, does not mean he should want to do it or become the next pop star. Whatever he allows to be manifested from himself, only will be, and I cannot force it.

And the reason for what he focuses on, no one can understand. It is his own mind acting under his own will and there are no explanations for that. So, let me not put a restraint to the manifestation of his perfection. Let him lay down his own options and channel his own interests.

In the end, he did end up participating in the finals, but without practising and the results are not out! But I shouldn’t care about the results because he doesn’t, right?

Is your child exercising independence in what he wants to do in life and what he wants to achieve? If so, are they different from what you think? And how do you handle it?

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Purnima, our Indian mother writing from Chennai, India. Her contributions to the World Moms Blog can be found here. She also rambles at The Alchemist’s Blog.

Photo credit to Wiki Media Commons.

 

Purnima Ramakrishnan

Purnima Ramakrishnan is an UNCA award winning journalist and the recipient of the fellowship in Journalism by International Reporting Project, John Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies. Her International reports from Brazil are found here . She is also the recipient of the BlogHer '13 International Activist Scholarship Award . She is a Senior Editor at World Moms Blog who writes passionately about social and other causes in India. Her parental journey is documented both here at World Moms Blog and also at her personal Blog, The Alchemist's Blog. She can be reached through this page . She also contributes to Huffington Post . Purnima was once a tech-savvy gal who lived in the corporate world of sleek vehicles and their electronics. She has a Master's degree in Electronics Engineering, but after working for 6 years as a Design Engineer, she decided to quit it all to become a Stay-At-Home-Mom to be with her son!   This smart mom was born and raised in India, and she has moved to live in coastal India with her husband, who is a physician, and her son who is in primary grade school.   She is a practitioner and trainer of Heartfulness Meditation.

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WORLD VOICE: South Korea’s Exam Suicides

WORLD VOICE: South Korea’s Exam Suicides

Photo Credit : Mafuyou/Flicker Creative Commons

Photo Credit : Mafuyou/Flicker Creative Commons

Last week over 650,000 South Korean students took their college entrance exams. To give you an idea of how important this day is to Korean families, consider the following: banks and government offices open late, air traffic is rerouted, extra metro trains and buses are added to the schedule, and police officers are deployed to ensure that students arrive on time for the exam. In addition to this many of the parents of these students spend the 100 days leading up to the exam fervently praying at temple, performing 3,000 bows for good luck.

What is perhaps most striking about this yearly ritual, as an outsider looking in, is how everyone in the country sees it as their duty to ensure that these students make it on time and do well on their exams. The amount of pressure to succeed academically is unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed.

South Korea does indeed lead the world in measurable academic success. They have one of the highest rates of literacy in the world, in addition to scoring very high on international standardized tests, especially when compared to Western nations. Unfortunately, South Korea also leads in the world in another unfortunate and surprisingly related area: suicide.

As of 2011, suicide is the leading cause of death among South Koreans under the age of 40. In the age group from 15-24, worry over academic performance is cited as the reason. Every year after the exams there are reports of these “Exam Suicides”.

Suicide affects every culture, not just this one, but it is deeply troubling to observe just how widespread it is here, not only among young people, but within the general population as well. Long seen as a private and personal issue, the government has finally taken steps in recent years to stem the tide. There are call centers and prevention groups receiving government funding, as well as dedicated employees who search the internet and social media for suicide-related posts. Within the last few months a specific type of pesticide was banned, as it had been commonly used in suicides.

Preventing access to means and providing support will be effective up to a point, but perhaps a closer look must be taken at the cultural obsession with academic success. I was thinking of all those kids taking the test last week, wondering how it must feel to know that the entire country is invested in how you do on this test. Such immense pressure! I can’t even imagine.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, South Korea is at a very interesting point culturally. It has rapidly modernized and continues to do so while still having deep roots to the Confucian principles that have guided society for generations.

It is the intersection of new economic realities and globalization with older traditions of filial piety and family honor that seem to be most challenging to navigate.

As long as suicide is seen as an honorable exit because of failure to live up to expectations or, in the case of older people, to unburden the family from the need to provide for aging relatives, the numbers will at the very least remain somewhat steady. As the culture changes, so too will the rates of suicide, I suspect.

But how many people’s children will die in the meantime?

The results of the exams will be announced on November 27th. Until then, we all wait, hope, and pray.

This is an original post written for World Moms Blog by S. Korean Contributor Ms. V.

Do you think it is possible to have such academic success without all the pressure?

Ms. V. (South Korea)

Ms. V returned from a 3-year stint in Seoul, South Korea and is now living in the US in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her partner, their two kids, three ferocious felines, and a dog named Avon Barksdale. She grew up all over the US, mostly along the east coast, but lived in New York City longer than anywhere else, so considers NYC “home.” Her love of travel has taken her all over the world and to all but four of the 50 states. Ms. V is contemplative and sacred activist, exploring the intersection of yoga, new monasticism, feminism and social change. She is the co-director and co-founder of Samdhana-Karana Yoga: A Healing Arts Center, a non-profit yoga studio and the spiritual director for Hab Community. While not marveling at her beautiful children, she enjoys reading, cooking, and has dreams of one day sleeping again.

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PHILIPPINES: Our World After Haiyan

PHILIPPINES: Our World After Haiyan

haiyan-from-daily-telegraphyThere are just no words these days to describe what has happened to my beautiful country. I write this from the capital of Manila, which was spared the catastrophic effects of the world’s strongest recorded typhoon, Haiyan, which befell our country last November 8. 

The most affected regions are in the Southern region, the Visayas. These islands comprise some of our top tourist destinations, and are home to some of the world’s most beautiful beach landscapes, including the famous Boracay island, Bohol, and Palawan, where we have several world heritage churches and protected coral reefs.

Today, we don’t know what will come of these cities, which have all been ravaged by nature’s cruelest storm to date.

Watching CNN is both helpful and heartbreaking. Helpful, because it keeps us attuned to what’s going on; heartbreaking, because the images they show slowly wear away at the human heart. Daily — sometimes by the hour — we receive more news about the worsening situations in the Southern Philippines.

Our country is in shock. I know it would be easy for some to blame our government, too, and not that I am a hundred percent in agreement with the way things are run, but I also believe our President and officials of the affected cities are in shock, too. The finger-pointing and guilt-tripping on social media disgusts me, to the point that I’ve sometimes stayed off for hours, just to filter out the negativism. (more…)

Martine de Luna (Philippines)

Martine is a work-at-home Mom and passionate blogger. A former expat kid, she has a soft spot for international efforts, like WMB. While she's not blogging, she's busy making words awesome for her clients, who avail of her marketing writing, website writing, and blog consulting services. Martine now resides in busy, sunny Manila, the Philippines, with her husband, Ton, and toddler son, Vito Sebastian. You can find her blogging at DaintyMom.com.

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PHILIPPINES: Celebrating the disconnect

PHILIPPINES: Celebrating the disconnect

la union 6

We  took a family vacation over the Halloween long weekend, and headed up to the northern part of Luzon (our region in the Philippines) to the small beach town of San Juan, in the city of La Union. It’s well-known in Asia as a premiere destination for surfers, which is the very reason why my family heads up here regularly. (Well, it’s more because of my younger brothers, who actually surf! I’m content to take in the views, wade in the calmer waters, and collect sea shells during our sojourns here.)

The photo above was taken during our second morning there, when the kids (my own, and those of my brothers’) had woken up bright and early, thanks to the crisp, clean sea air and the slow, stress-free vibe of the provincial town.

Getting away from the big city is always good for me. Prior to this trip, I was coming off a hectic ride, work-wise. We’d just concluded a big event for the work-at-home mom community here in Manila (which you can read about here, the WAHMderful Weekend). I had a string of blog coaching and website clients to take care of. To top it off, I was conducting a string of blogging workshops, which I love doing, but they always leave me mind-weary by the end. (more…)

Martine de Luna (Philippines)

Martine is a work-at-home Mom and passionate blogger. A former expat kid, she has a soft spot for international efforts, like WMB. While she's not blogging, she's busy making words awesome for her clients, who avail of her marketing writing, website writing, and blog consulting services. Martine now resides in busy, sunny Manila, the Philippines, with her husband, Ton, and toddler son, Vito Sebastian. You can find her blogging at DaintyMom.com.

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