SINGAPORE: Celebrating Fatherhood

SINGAPORE: Celebrating Fatherhood

DSC_2005_2We continue honoring the fathers out there, even after Father’s Day! Today, Veena writes about her thoughts on the roles of fathers, and their unique hallmarks. 

Motherhood and Mother’s Day are celebrated the world over – but  how much does the world really realise a father’s sacrifices for his family?

According to Merriam-Webster, a father is :

fa·ther  (fär)

n.

a. A male person whose sperm unites with an egg, resulting in the conception of a child.

b. A man who adopts a child.

c. A man who raises a child.

As mothers, we all know the amount of work involved in raising a child. So, how many of you would agree to the first definition of a father – sperm uniting with an egg? Or even the second?

A father – in the truest sense of the word – is one who begets a child and stands up for the mother and child through thick and thin. He is there during the sunny times and rainy days, during happiness and sorrow. And through sickness and health.

I am a full-time working mother – made possible only with the complete support of my husband. When I have to travel on business trips, or stay late at office, he is there for my Li’l One.

India (where I am from) is a patriarchal society with the men taking the upper hand in most spheres of life and work. When a girl gets married, she is usually expected to resign if her husband (or his family) doesn’t want her to work (often with no regard to her wish to continue working), she may have to move to a new city if her husband is located there, and more often than not, she is expected to give up her job once she has a kid. Or if the husband gets a posting abroad, the wife just has to drop everything and follow him there.

Sometimes when I go home, there are relatives who look askance when I say I have to attend a call or a meeting, or that I have no time for some thing. According to some of them, I should be devoting more time to womanly pursuits – like cooking, attending Church or some such activity.

This is quite funny, because my paternal Grandfather was a person who believed in a girl’s right to education and managed to get all 3 of his daughters educated and in government jobs. And he had just 2 granddaughters (me and a cousin) from a brood of 10 grand-kids, and both of us are full-time working mothers. Needless to say, none of the women who married into the family are working outside the house (for various reasons).

I have nothing against home makers – my Mother is one herself – and I am eternally thankful to her for her decision to stay home and look after us. All I am saying is that no one has any right to judge whether a woman should work or not, and decide what should be her priorities in life.

Now, I have a tremendous opportunity to move to Singapore, and my husband is again there for me – completely supporting my decision, and ready to move over as a family – not heeding any unwanted voices that may whisper about the inappropriateness of a husband moving because of his wife’s work priorities.

So far, I have just seen a single friend who moved abroad because his wife was transferred there on a project. And here I am – honoured to have such a caring person as a partner. He is always there with a helping hand in the kitchen (one place I detest). He has a bad back, and yet refuses to let me carry the heavy stuff. Every time I am back from my business trips, he insists on driving over with Li’l One to the airport, so that I don’t have to worry about getting a cab late at night. And no matter how worn out he is, he always has a smile for Li’l One and me.

In fact, it is all there in the little things – the way he always slows down the car to allow a person to cross the road, or a car waiting at a U-turn to take the turn. Or the pains he has taken to win over my family, in spite of us having an intercaste marriage (a terrible taboo in India) and even after having been subtly snubbed by some of my extended family (something that could very well result in cutting ties with the wife’s family forever).  Or even the times he has packed up the house during the umpteen moves we have had ( 6 in the last 7 years), and let me go to a friend’s place or my home (and yes, I offered to stay and do the packing, but he was insistent that I leave it all to him).

Here is a salute to Fathers all over the world!

What makes your partner the best in the world? How does he help you out in your day? 

Veena Davis (Singapore)

Veena has experienced living in different climes of Asia - born and brought up in the hot Middle East, and a native of India from the state known as God’s Own Country, she is currently based in the tropical city-state of Singapore. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Several years ago, she came across World Moms Network (then World Moms Blog) soon after its launch, and was thrilled to become a contributor. She has a 11-year old son and a quadragenarian husband (although their ages might be inversed to see how they are with each other sometimes). ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ On a professional front, she works in the financial sector - just till she earns enough to commit to her dream job of full-time bibliophile. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ You can also find Veena at her personal blog, Merry Musing. ⠀

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SINGAPORE: The Anguish of Premature Empty Nest Syndrome

SINGAPORE: The Anguish of Premature Empty Nest Syndrome

Letting go...

Letting go…

It seemed like it was just yesterday when I held my newborn 3.4kg baby in my arm (yes singular!), breastfed her every 2 hours and survived on not more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep. In a blink of an eye, she is now a feisty and energetic 2.5 year old who is ready to “do it myself!” as she likes to say.

It used to be that whenever I asked her to do something, she would do it cheerfully, even if it was to throw rubbish into the bin. Nowadays, however, it is almost impossible to get her to do anything if there’s nothing in it for her

Where did my innocent little angel disappear to? (more…)

Madpsychmum (Singapore)

Madeline lives in Singapore, a tiny cosmopolitan island in Southeast Asia. She is a mother to a beautiful and intelligent little girl born in July 2010. Madeline used to be a stay-at-home mother while she was completing her graduate studies in psychology at a local university. On completion of her studies, she has now joined the workforce and is working in the Ministry of Education (Singapore). Madeline is passionate about children and education and hopes to make a difference in the lives of children living in Singapore. Also an avid traveller and hardcore advocate of breastfeeding, she regularly documents her overseas trips and nursing room reviews with incredible detail on her blog, MadPsychMum @ University of Motherhood.

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SINGAPORE:  Interview with A Juggling Mom

SINGAPORE: Interview with A Juggling Mom

Susan Koh Author World Moms Blog

Where in the world do you live? And, are you from there?
I was born and raised in Singapore and have lived here all my life. Although I live in the smallest country in Southeast Asia, I take pride at the vast progress that we’ve achieved. At the same time, I’m humbled to live in a city where it’s a melting pot of different cultures, fueling my passion to travel to learn more about different cultures.

What language(s) do you speak?

English is my first language. I also speak Mandarin, and dialects such as Cantonese and Hokkien. Oh and I also speak baby language 🙂

When did you first become a mother?
I became a mom at 29 years old in August 2009 which also happens to be our National Day or Independence Day!

Are you a stay-at-home mom or do you work outside the home?

I’m a full time working mom and made this choice consciously as I believe that it’s possible to balance family and a career. Though I’ve had my ups and downs especially in the initial years, I don’t regret it and hope to inspire other moms to find work life balance. (more…)

Susan Koh

Susan is from Singapore. As a full-time working mom, she's still learning to perfect the art of juggling between career and family while leading a happy and fulfilled life. She can't get by a day without coffee and swears she's no bimbo even though she likes pink and Hello Kitty. She's loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at A Juggling Mom.

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SINGAPORE: A Mom, a Book, and Three Lessons Learned

SINGAPORE: A Mom, a Book, and Three Lessons Learned

I have a dream. I believe all writers share this same dream – which is to someday publish their own book (all the better if it turns into a bestseller!).

But never in my imagination had I thought that this dream would materialize any time soon, at least not this year, not in the way it had happened.

It all started with a conversation with my friend. I can’t recall what we were talking about, but I casually mentioned to her that I hope to write a book on mompreneurship, a subject I’m passionate about.

To my surprise, she shared that a publisher had approached her to write about work life balance but given her commitments she didn’t feel she could take it up at that point (she’s founder of Mums@Work, a social enterprise in Singapore that helps moms find better balance between being moms and workers through flexi-work or starting their own business). Through my sharing, she saw the possibility of us working together and shortly after, an appointment with the publisher was set up. Things went well at the first meeting and soon we found ourselves signing an agreement with the publisher to work on the book. (more…)

Ruth

Ruth lives in Singapore, a tiny island 137 kilometres north of the equator. After graduating from university, she worked as a medical social worker for a few years before making a switch to HR and worked in various industries such as retail, banking and manufacturing. In spite of the invaluable skills and experiences she had gained during those years, she never felt truly happy or satisfied. It was only when she embarked on a journey to rediscover her strengths and passion that this part of her life was transformed. Today, Ruth is living her dreams as a writer. Ironically, she loves what she does so much that at one point, she even thought that becoming a mom would hinder her career. Thanks to her husband’s gentle persuasions, she now realises what joy she would have missed out had she not changed her mind. She is now a happy WAHM. Ruth launched MomME Circle, a resource site to support and inspire moms to create a life and business they love. She has a personal blog Mommy Café where she writes about her son's growing up and shares her interests such as food and photography.

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SINGAPORE: Dealing with Challenges

My heart has been trudging through tough terrains lately because of some events that  happened unexpectedly.

Tough as it may be, it’s going through this challenging time as a mom that has been harder to handle.

In the beginning, there were times when I just wanted to go away and be alone. Twice, I lost my temper at my son. But just as soon as I did that, guilt washed over me. I immediately apologised and held him tight in my arms, assuring him it wasn’t his fault.

This whole experience got me thinking about how I should deal with tough times as a mom. More importantly, how can I help my son to cope with challenges in life?

While I feel a need to be strong for my son’s sake, I don’t want to pretend that things are fine. After all, setbacks are a reality of life and even the little one experiences a bit of that once in a while – like when mommy and daddy refused to buy him a toy even though he was bawling his eyes out and his voice was turning hoarse from crying.

However, at two-and-a-half years-old, he is too young to understand what  happened. Yet, I believe he can sense that I’m feeling down, and it probably affected him, as he did throw more tantrums than normal when I was riding out the emotional roller coaster.

But it’s never too early to start thinking. So I imagine the day when my son is old enough, and what I would say. (more…)

Ruth

Ruth lives in Singapore, a tiny island 137 kilometres north of the equator. After graduating from university, she worked as a medical social worker for a few years before making a switch to HR and worked in various industries such as retail, banking and manufacturing. In spite of the invaluable skills and experiences she had gained during those years, she never felt truly happy or satisfied. It was only when she embarked on a journey to rediscover her strengths and passion that this part of her life was transformed. Today, Ruth is living her dreams as a writer. Ironically, she loves what she does so much that at one point, she even thought that becoming a mom would hinder her career. Thanks to her husband’s gentle persuasions, she now realises what joy she would have missed out had she not changed her mind. She is now a happy WAHM. Ruth launched MomME Circle, a resource site to support and inspire moms to create a life and business they love. She has a personal blog Mommy Café where she writes about her son's growing up and shares her interests such as food and photography.

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Saturday Sidebar: What do your children call their grandparents?

This week’s Saturday Sidebar Question comes from World Moms Blog writer Karyn Van Der Zwet.

In honor of grandparents’ day celebrated in some parts of the world this weekend, Karyn asked our writers,

What do your children call their grandparents?

Check out what some of our World Moms had to say…

Alison Lee of Malaysia writes:
“My son calls his paternal grandparents ‘Ji-Doh’ (grandfather) and ‘Nona’ (grandmother).”

Carol @ If By Yes of British Columbia, Canada writes:
“My mother in law is Grandma, because all her grandchildren call her that. My father in law is grandpa for the same reason. My mother is Nana, and my father was going to be Grampy, but Owl seems to have labeled him Ba Ba. A lot of the boys on my dad’s side of the family say “Bramy” for grandfathers.”

Eva Fannon of Washington State, USA writes:
“My kids call my parents Abuelo and Abuelita (Spanish for grandfather and an affectionate way of saying grandmother). They call my husband’s parents Pop and Grannie.” (more…)

World Moms Blog

World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children. World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.

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