I won a trip of a lifetime to Queensland, Australia last month and while I felt overjoyed, once the confetti settled down and once I found out I will be alone, panic crept in. My partner – who lives in Australia – cannot join me for the trip as he was also traveling somewhere in Australia at the time. All I had was an itinerary crafted by the Tourism Board during my whole 6 days visit.
“What? I’m going alone?”
“But what if I get lost?”
“It’s been gazillion years since I’ve traveled alone…”
Doubts came creeping in, my old worry wart self had to grab a broom and swept all those negative self-talks out of my head.
“You’ll be fine…”
“Take the time to enjoy experiencing the new place by yourself without having to worry about being a mom or anyone else but you.”
So after carefully explaining to my 9 years old son why his mom is going to Australia (again) without him, I packed my suitcase and flew from Jakarta to Denpasar, Bali before flying directly to Brisbane, Australia.
During the 6,5 hours flight, I checked in with my feelings. At first, guilt was there – guilt from not being able to take my boy along with me. For he also has a deep love for traveling which is something I am proud to say he got from me. The wanderluster bug is in him! There was partial sadness knowing I will be in the same country as my partner but our paths cannot cross. I miss him terribly.
Then it dawned on me.
I haven’t been anywhere alone for eons. Yes, I’ve flown to meet up with my partner in Melbourne a couple of times already without my son. Yes, I’ve traveled a bit with my boy but when was the last time I really travel solo?
I searched through the memory bank in my mind trying to remember when was the last time.
Gosh, I can’t remember…
College? When I went on a night bus ride to explore Yogyakarta by myself.
When was that? Over 16 years ago or so? Clearly, I had the guts to do that and I’ve never been afraid to travel before.
I forgot what it’s like to travel solo and most importantly to be alone.
Life has a funny way to give you something that you desperately need – but usually unaware that you need it. Once I got into my hotel room and soaked the view from the balcony towards the beach, those old familiar feelings returned. That joy of being alone with myself. I was alone in a foreign land with only me and myself.
The much-needed solitary…
Yes, the itinerary planned for me were so much fun. Amazing experiences that I still have to write about but it is in that much-needed solitude that I realized how much my soul needed those days, a break from my busy life.
My schedule as a full time working mom has been crazy, chaotic and messy. My role as a single mom is often times exhausting borderline frustrating with the challenges we are dealing with. I was depleted from juggling so many things at once. Exhaustion consumes me like wild fires. Jack of all trades…I had to push Maureen aside and put everyone else’s’ needs above me.
Yet, as I sat there on the wooden bench in Surfers Paradise, sipping my favorite flat white coffee, watching people passes by in groups the realization came, of how I haven’t really stop and just be in the moment for ages. I was either always on the go or rushing inside my own head thinking of the never ending to do list. There’s always things to do, work to finish, homework to help with, deadlines to meet. It’s like a never-ending cycle.
That day I allowed myself to stop. To just be. To watch people silently. I wonder where that family came from, what’s their stories back at home while they spend sunny days of vacations down under. I watched lovers exudes romance as they strolled down to the beach. My heart felt warm witnessing two elderly couple still holding hands, smiling widely.
Somewhere down the busy Surfers Paradise spot…I strangely found my peace.
I sat and observed the world as it passes me by. I nurtured my tired soul by not thinking about work, not worrying about my son. I listened to my heart. I conversed with my soul. Watching the seagulls pecking around the side walk. Burying my toes in the warm golden sand and soaking up the sun. I found love.
Love of foreign lands…love of traveling…love of exploring. Old familiar feelings returned like an old lover. Wild and burning in desires to travel and to write.
In the quiet chambers of my mind, I re-discover these passions buried deep underneath the layers and layers of life’s responsibilities. By traveling alone, I gave myself a gift I desperately needed. To recharge, to rest, to checked in with me. Allowing Maureen to sit with Maureen. Strange as it sounds, I returned feeling rejuvenate.
As someone’s mother, someone’s partner, someone’s employee, I now realized the importance of finding our own solitude amidst the chaos busyness of our daily life. Sometimes we just need to stop juggling and unearth the real person we really are inside. We don’t need to travel to foreign countries – we just need to travel inside ourselves, to listen to our inner voices, to honor our feelings and to make peace with whatever it is that needed to be sorted out internally.
The gift of self-love really can be found in the most unexpected places. Oh and traveling alone is really not that bad nor scary.
What do you do for your alone time, ladies? How do you nurture your soul as busy mothers?
This is an original post written for World Moms Blog by Maureen Hitipeuw of Tatter Scoops in Indonesia.
The tiny translucent fingers of a premature baby are stark reminders of the fragility of newborn life no matter where in the world a baby is born. When I asked a friend who works for the March of Dimes exactly what it was that the organization did I was struck that I knew so little about it. While I had traveled in the past few years on maternal and newborn health reporting trips to Ethiopia and South Africa, and written for a number of global non-profits on related issues, I was unaware that the March of Dimes was fighting for Newborn lives right here in the US.
As a mother of four and the daughter of a Polio survivor I am an active advocate for global vaccines with the United Nations Foundation’s Shot@Life campaign where one of our major goals is global Polio eradication. The March of Dimes was Founded by President Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1938 to eradicate Polio in the US, I was fascinated to find out that the March of Dimes had led the fight against Polio eradication, and although it still exists in two countries, Afghanistan and Pakistan, it was successfully eradicated in the US in 1979. Thanks in large part to the March of Dimes campaign.
The robust infrastructure of the March of Dimes was then shifted to tackle birth defects, and in the mid 1980s shifted to Community, Advocacy, Research, Education and Support services around premature birth. (the birth of an infant before 37 weeks of pregnancy). Premature babies can have serious health problems at birth and that last later into life, and about 1 in 10 babies in the US are born prematurely.
According to the March of Dimes Global Action Report on Preterm Birth; Born Too Soon :
15 million babies in the world are born prematurely each year, and that number is rising.
Preterm birth is the greatest cause of neonatal death, in the first 28 days of life.
It is the second leading cause of death in children under the age of 5 years old.
60% of preterm births occur in sub-Saharan Africa and South Asia.
75% of the deaths of premature babies could be prevented with proper medical care
Here in the US the preterm birth rate is at 9.6% , while across 184 countries of the world the statistics range from 5 to 18% for preterm birth rates per 100 live births. That means that here in the US, I was shocked to learn, we only get a report card grade of a C. You can find out where your country ranks on the Born Too Soon Global Map as well.
There is a lot of research going on to find out what factors cause preterm birth, because even healthy mothers who have done everything right during pregnancy can experience it. The risk factors that are associated with it include mothers of multiples, or who have previously had a preterm birth. Getting little or no prenatal care, being overweight or underweight during pregnancy, smoking, drinking alcohol, and drug use are all known to contribute. But there are demographics as well, if you are under 17 or over 35 these are risk factors, and here in the US researchers are working hard to find out why race also seems to play a part in the statistics.
Healthy Babies are Worth the Wait® is a comprehensive initiative by the March of Dimes to prevent preventable preterm birth, with a focus on reducing elective deliveries before 39 weeks gestation. Healthy Babies are Worth the Wait involves an education and awareness campaign, hospital quality improvement and community intervention programs. These strategies are focused on interventions and activities that have the potential to make an immediate, substantial and measurable impact on preterm birth. – www.marchofdimes.org
My friend Michelle invited me for a tour of the NICU at Women & Infants Hospital to see the work being done there by the March of Dimes. There was a stark differences between the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit that I had visited in Ethiopia at the Black Lion Hospital on my International Reporting Project Fellowship and the one we toured here in Rhode Island. I could see it had a lot to do with the presence of the March of Dimes. On the sterile 6 year old 50,000 sq. foot wing here in Rhode Island 82 babies can receive care. In the corner of the floor an entire center for family support provides programs, food, and a fun filled space for siblings to play. The support given in the hospital space seems an extension of the March of Dimes website where it encourages community support through the Share your story feature .
Photo Credit: March of Dimes
On my tour I could not help but think of the mothers I had seen across the world in Ethiopia in the largest NICU in the country with only three incubators and one nurse for every 10 babies. The mothers folded over their teeny babies with the same concerned and protective stance as the ones I saw here in Rhode Island, but with the difference of a world of support from the March of Dimes programs at hand. I was happy to learn that over the past 15 years the March of Dimes Global Programs have formed alliances with partners on the ground to help improve birth outcomes in developing countries around the world as well. All mothers love their babies with the same fierce intensity no matter where they live, and all babies deserve the chance to survive no matter where in the world they are born. I was impressed to learn about all that the March of Dimes programs do to see that happen.
This is an original post written by Elizabeth Atalay of Documama for World Moms Blog.
Elizabeth Atalay is a Digital Media Producer, Managing Editor at World Moms Network, and a Social Media Manager. She was a 2015 United Nations Foundation Social Good Fellow, and traveled to Ethiopia as an International Reporting Project New Media Fellow to report on newborn health in 2014. On her personal blog, Documama.org, she uses digital media as a new medium for her background as a documentarian. After having worked on Feature Films and Television series for FOX, NBC, MGM, Columbia Pictures, Warner Brothers, 20th Century Fox, and Castle Rock Pictures, she studied documentary filmmaking and anthropology earning a Masters degree in Media Studies from The New School in New York. Since becoming a Digital Media Producer she has worked on social media campaigns for non-profits such as Save The Children, WaterAid, ONE.org, UNICEF, United Nations Foundation, Edesia, World Pulse, American Heart Association, and The Gates Foundation. Her writing has also been featured on ONE.org, Johnson & Johnson’s BabyCenter.com, EnoughProject.org, GaviAlliance.org, and Worldmomsnetwork.com. Elizabeth has traveled to 70 countries around the world, most recently to Haiti with Artisan Business Network to visit artisans in partnership with Macy’s Heart of Haiti line, which provides sustainable income to Haitian artisans. Elizabeth lives in New England with her husband and four children.
It’s now April and without really meaning to, I’ve found that in the first three months of the year I’ve not bought myself any clothes or shoes. Now this might seem like a small thing to many people, but sadly where I live in the UK it is very common place to constantly be buying new things – clothes, jewellery, items for the house, cars, gadgets and frankly any sort of status symbol.
Over the last decade I’ve become more and more concerned about the disposable world we live in, the one where we teach our children that as soon as a sock has a hole in it, you throw it away and buy new ones. Of course some of the problem is that in places like England socks can be bought very cheaply now, perhaps five pairs for just £2.00. But at what expense are we buying those socks? How much did the worker in a far off country earn whilst making those socks? A good living wage? Almost certainly not.
Every action we take when it comes to buying ‘things’ or accumulating ‘stuff’ has an impact, not only on those people who are actually involved in the production phase but also on the cost of delivering the stuff from one country to another and delivering it to the end customer. Almost everything we buy has a carbon footprint. I can’t even start to pretend that I am any kind of expert in this area, but I am slowly realising that it is not enough to just be an advocate for an end to extreme poverty. If I want to see that happen I have to also be an advocate for an end to the use of fossil fuels.
A few months ago, Amnesty International and Greenpeace issued a joint statement to the 195 countries meeting together to discuss climate change at the COP21 Sustainable Innovation Forum in Paris. The statement linked global temperature rises with human rights. They stated that an additional 600 million people could face hunger by 2080 due to climate change. What a terrifying thought and completely in opposition to where the situation should be heading.
Thankfully a few days later, the world’s governments signed an agreement to reduce net carbon emissions to 0% by 2050, thus signalling an end to the fossil fuel age. Of course change is not as easy as some officials signing a treaty: there is much hard work to be done and Joe Average, like you and I, has to play a part. So I beg you, starting now, will you please consider if you really need that new blender? Do you have to trade in your BBQ for the self-cleaning one that is just one step up? Or could your old one last you a few more years?
I’m certainly adopting the attitude of ‘take me as I am’ this year and if someone comes round my house and feels that my TV is old fashioned and perhaps a little squeaky, well so be it. We won’t be buying a new one until this one really is past its best and can’t be fixed. It’s far too easy to get caught up in the competitive rat race, the one that says you must have a big smart car, holidays abroad and a well thought-out wardrobe, to be seen as successful.
In contrast, some of the most successful people I have known over the years have been those with no great dress sense, who have had a messy house and a clapped-out old banger of a car. Success is about the person, not their belongings. It is the mother whose four adult children are all thriving and giving back to society in various ways. It is the retired man who goes out and works with street kids to ensure that they stay away from drugs. It is the passer-by in the street who smiles at everyone and takes time to talk to those she knows are lonely.
Those are the people I want to celebrate and to join. I don’t need lots of new things, I just need a heart full of love and by the grace of God I can share that with everyone I meet. Will you join me?
What role do material things play in your life? Are you concerned for the world your children are growing up in?
This is an original post written by bloggerMichelle Pannell for World Moms Blog. Photo credit to the author.
Michelle’s tales of everyday life and imperfect parenting of a 13-year-old boy and 9-year-old twin girls and her positive Christian outlook on life have made her name known in the UK parenting blogosphere. Her blog, Mummy from the Heart, has struck a chord with and is read by thousands of women across the world.
Michelle loves life and enjoys keeping it simple. Time with her family, friends and God are what make her happiest, along with a spot of blogging and tweeting, too! Michelle readily left behind the corporate arena but draws on her 25 years of career experience from the fields of hotel, recruitment and HR management in her current voluntary roles at a school, Christian conference centre, night shelter and food bank.
As a ONE ambassador, in 2012 Michelle was selected to travel on a delegation to Ethiopia with the organisation to report on global poverty and health. Then in 2014 she was invited to Washington, DC, where she attended the AYA Summit for girls and women worldwide. When asked about her ambassadorship with the ONE Campaign, she stated, "I feel humbled to be able to act as an advocate and campaigner for those living in poverty."
Recently, my 9-year-old hit a snag in his martial arts class. He practices Shotokan, a style of karate that focuses on mastering technique through continual refinement. His sensei sums it up by saying, “Practice doesn’t make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.” (more…)
Tara is a native Pennsylvanian who moved to the Seattle area in 1998 (sight unseen) with her husband to start their grand life adventure together. Despite the difficult fact that their family is a plane ride away, the couple fell in love with the Pacific Northwest and have put down roots. They have 2 super charged little boys and recently moved out of the Seattle suburbs further east into the country, trading in a Starbucks on every corner for coyotes in the backyard. Tara loves the outdoors (hiking, biking, camping). And, when her family isn't out in nature, they are hunkered down at home with friends, sharing a meal, playing games, and generally having fun. She loves being a stay-at-home mom and sharing her experiences on World Moms Network!
It’s seldom admitted but true. Lots of working, married urban women fear the effect that a new child will have on their ability for juggling spreadsheets and power point presentations at the office. Or, look upon the baby as a desirable added dimension to their lives but want to keep other areas at status quo. Depending upon the duration of maternity leave, available support systems and the new mother’s ability to cope with sleepless nights, the infant is soon handed over to the care of the grandmother, resident care-giver or the friendly neighbourhood crèche.
Hence when I announced to the world at large my plans for quitting my job for Full Time Parenting (FTP), I was prepared for goggle-eyed reactions. What I didn’t expect was the constant need to justify this decision to friends, relatives and the third cousin of the neighbour’s aunt-in-law! Objections ranged from the mundane (“You will be thoroughly bored after a while) to doom’s-day prophecies (“This will be a professional suicide.). Interspersed were a few whacko ones (“It’s irresponsible to waste yourself”) and a few, exasperated, “let’s put some sense into her head” type of reactions.
The reactions:
What was everybody dreading on my behalf? The loss of the status of a “working woman”? The giving up of that tiny perch on the huge mountain of the corporate world, that announced to the world “This is who I am”?
No, it was about “liberation”, the kind that is often equated with a job, any job, at long as it pays. To female friends and colleagues, I was suddenly the betrayer of a system, a traitor to the cause of emancipation. Instead of becoming a new member in the circle of working moms, alternating between the adrenaline of economic independence and the niggling anxieties of part-time parenting, here I was, stubbornly choosing to go the whole hog with parenting.
Sour grapes? Nein…
Was the job no good? Au contraire, it was a dream job, won by sheer dint of hard work after a gruelling two-year MBA. Then why did I quit? Because, once having decided to bring in a little soul into the world, I wanted to be a 24/7 mother for a good, long while, living the roller-coaster ride of joys, hopes, worries and triumphs. Because for me, “a meaningful life” had always meant a basket of activities, pursuits and callings. Because what works for another may not suit me at all.
Because true liberation is about making those choices that bring happiness. Not about living up to other’s expectations of what a female, well-educated, working mother ought to be. And about respecting that inner voice that refuses to be shushed and is not afraid to walk off the beaten track.
Idealism can be practical too:
Because, like a child in a candy store, my wants know no limits – I want to be a woman, wife, mother, writer and professor, all at the same time. Because I want to shape my life exactly the way I likenot in a de facto, “patchwork quilt” manner dictated by an increasingly demanding corporate world. Because my curiosity and naïve optimism make me plunge thoroughly and completely into whatever I decide to do; there’s no holding back, no half-hearted measures. Because I am a foolish, idealistic woman in the era of plastic, recyclable ‘values’. Because I like to live out that hoary old adage: ”If anything is worth doing at all, it is worth doing well”
Office versus home:
At work, I revelled in the thrill of new challenges and the fancy designation. But this certainly wasn’t what I wanted to continue doing for the rest of my life. Then why use it as the ostensible reason for not changing priorities? I’d rather use my training of my corporate stint to reach and influence people differently, as I do now. The idea of doling out measured minutes of “quality time” to my child, after I reached home bone-tired from work every evening, never fully satisfied me. To my mind, quantity is also important. And I prefer family values to those of the paid-by-the-hour surrogates.
Yes, the pay cheques were initially slimme. But the grey cells are ticking, the mind and heart are raring to go, and it’s delightful being one’s own boss. On a particularly bad day, when my toddler drives me up the wall, I do get nostalgic about the super-charged office that I once inhabited. But then, it’s exhilarating to do one’s own thing. And the balance between work, creativity and family is oh so delightful! All things considered, I should probably thank the little tyke – he was the right reason at the right time.
“Ma, the candy floss got over too quickly!”
All about priorities:
Each mother has her own world view, her own list of priorities. And while every mother loves her child with all her heart, the manifestation of that love would be unique for each woman. Hence there can be no “one size fits all” kind of rule. What works for one might not do, for another. As long as we can remember to say, “To each, her own”, the world will be a teensier bit better!
What worked best for you as a mother?
This is an original post written by Piya Mukherjee for World Moms Blog.
“Please join us in the 2016 #Heartfulness Meditation Conference in the USA. If you are a World Moms Blog contributor, or reader, or fan, please contact us (info@worldmomsblog.com) for a free pass.”
Below, #WorldMom, Sophia from USA, recounts how the process of ‘cleaning’ helps her to deal with her everyday life-situations better, and with clarity and wisdom. She regularly attends the weekly #Heartfulness meditation on the Webinar workshops conducted by #WorldMomsBlog
Over a month ago I joined #Heartfulness meditation sessions once a week. The first time, after going through the relaxation method, I was able to calm down by taking deep breaths and focusing on releasing the … weight of my body. The instruction was to feel everything melting away, eventually my heart as well. Then to dwell there for a few minutes, focusing on the light in my heart.
Well, that first time, I fell asleep. It was about 9:30pm, and the babies had just gone to sleep, and I couldn’t help but feel relaxed enough to fall asleep where I was sitting!
I haven’t fallen asleep during these meditations, since. One thing I have learned through my short life is that taking a moment to breathe deeply, and taking a moment to release the tension, intentionally smiling, and just shake your head at a ‘trying’ situation … they all make my life simpler.
A few days ago, I attended a session facilitated by our Heartfulness Trainer, “P”. We spoke a bit about our lives and things that are heavy for us to deal with, at the moment. After sharing what I am dealing with emotionally, that is physically affecting me, she suggested I try the “Guided Cleaning Process”. So before beginning the usual meditation, she guided me through it.
Immediately I had a massive headache! (I didn’t say anything, though, as it just came out of nowhere) Then she said to imagine all complexities and impurities going out of me from the top of my head to the tip of my tailbone. And to imagine them going out in the form of smoke or vapor.
For me, the mental cleaning was much easier to get into, than meditation has ever been. I could imagine the dense smoke going out from my system. The massive headache was gone and I felt … space; which is a beautiful thing to feel when you have been busy over-analyzing your current situation in life. And I felt a sacred energy entering my whole body.
I felt like my body’s particles were floating with energy around them, remembering that all of creation is made of the same energy. And I mean all of creation, not just humans.
After taking me through the guided mental cleaning, which I have been doing everyday we decided to do our regular weekly meditation session. I kept losing track of what I was doing, and my mind kept wandering off. Twice, though, I was able to imagine my heart as light, and it was fascinating.
It’s hard to explain all of this!!! I think it’s something one has to try for himself/herself, a few times, as once may not be enough. Repetitions are important, I feel, in today’s life.
I think everyone could benefit from removing complexities and impurities from life.
Do you meditate? What method(s) do you use to meditate? What do you do to bring yourself back to center?
I am a mom amongst some other titles life has fortunately given me. I love photography & the reward of someone being really happy about a photo I took of her/him. I work, I study, I try to pay attention to life. I like writing. I don't understand many things...especially why humans treat each other & other living & inanimate things so vilely sometimes. I like to be an idealist, but when most fails, I do my best to not be a pessimist: Life itself is entirely too beautiful, amazing & inspiring to forget that it is!
I won a trip of a lifetime to Queensland, Australia last month and while I felt overjoyed, once the confetti settled down and once I found out I will be alone, panic crept in. My partner – who lives in Australia – cannot join me for the trip as he was also traveling somewhere in Australia at the time. All I had was an itinerary crafted by the Tourism Board during my whole 6 days visit.
Yet, as I sat there on the wooden bench in Surfers Paradise, sipping my favorite flat white coffee, watching people passes by in groups the realization came, of how I haven’t really stop and just be in the moment for ages. I was either always on the go or rushing inside my own head thinking of the never ending to do list. There’s always things to do, work to finish, homework to help with, deadlines to meet. It’s like a never-ending cycle.
I sat and observed the world as it passes me by. I nurtured my tired soul by not thinking about work, not worrying about my son. I listened to my heart. I conversed with my soul. Watching the seagulls pecking around the side walk. Burying my toes in the warm golden sand and soaking up the sun. I found love.
It’s now April and without really meaning to, I’ve found that in the first three months of the year I’ve not bought myself any clothes or shoes. Now this might seem like a small thing to many people, but sadly where I live in the UK it is very common place to constantly be buying new things – clothes, jewellery, items for the house, cars, gadgets and frankly any sort of status symbol.
