by Marie Kléber | Apr 14, 2017 | 2017, France, Womanhood
One day, I’ll be able to say: “I left because he was killing me softly”. And I would be able to tell people, without feeling my heart racing, without thinking I should not say things like this, that he was a mistake. But a mistake that gave me the chance to see the Light again.
One day, I’ll be able to say without worry: “he was a manipulator” without thinking “that’s not fair for him” or “I should keep this private”.
One day, I’ll be able to tell people that for a while I was a shadow, a pale reproduction of myself, that for a while I was scared to death.
One day, to the question “why you married him?”, I’ll be able to say “because I felt like a prisoner, I could not say “no” to him, he would not take “no” for an answer. He played with my emotions, he was a control freak and I was under his spell.”
One day, to people telling me “don’t say that, every couple has good memories together”, I’ll allow myself to say “my first memory of him is one of fear”
One day, I’ll be able to say out loud “I stayed because I did not know how to leave – I stayed because I did not have any energy to leave – I stayed because I thought he’d change – He told me as soon as he’ll get this or that he would – I believed him”
One day, to curious people, I’ll be able to say “he harassed me, he threatened me, he played with my emotions, he told me I was an easy girl, he said he would kill me if I was to leave him, he said all my writing was bullshit, he used my body for his own pleasure and accused me of torturing him when I would not agree with him”.
Today I can say:
You have no right to judge me. This is my choice. I am proud of my choice
How do you feel about domestic violence? Is it easy for you to talk about the “downs” of your life?
This is an original post written by Marie V. for World Moms Network
Marie is from France and is living near Paris, after spending 6 years in Irlande. She is a single mum of one, sharing her time between work, family life and writing, her passion. She already wrote 6 books in her native langage.
She loves reading, photography, meeting friends and sharing life experiences. She blogs about domestic abuse, parenting and poetry @https://mahshiandmarshmallow.wordpress.com
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by ThinkSayBe | Apr 5, 2017 | 2016, 2017, Awareness, Blogging, Caring, Change
April 29th will mark President Donald Trump’s 100th day in office.
As a foreigner, I have watched the news feeling extremely grateful that I gained American citizenship during the last administration. As a foreigner who looks of ambiguous origin and definitely not of any Caucasian descent, I wonder if I will ever be in the wrong place at the wrong time. As the mother of three children who mostly look African American, I wonder how their lives will be here in their own country. As the mother of one of my children whose last name is Arabic, and who could pass for Arab or Indian, I wonder if she would be red-flagged during travel. As an American citizen, I wonder where we are headed for, and to be honest, I feel like the magnitude of the situation is beyond our spectrum of understanding.
I do not tend to get into politics very often. I do my best to look at the character of the candidate before voting, without paying attention to the party she, or he, belongs to. However, this time the outcome of the presidential race was quite different than what most people expected, and so far President Trump has been in the news so much that even small children know his name, and some have not yet spoken or been too aware of the name ‘Obama’. It’s remarkably impressive.
With President Trump in office, it feels necessary to stay up to date with news of his actions, because one does not know what extreme thing will have happened between one day and the next.
A number of decisions that President Trump has made, ensure that some of us sit at the edge of our seats, or walk around the living room in circles with our hands on our hands, wondering if this is all an episode from the twilight zone.
If I may be honest, I really held, and in a smaller fraction still hold, hope for President Trump to be a great president. Why? Because he is not a politician, and being a politician is not a constitutional requirement to be a US President. When he was elected I thought that here is a person, specifically a white male in America who has money (so he won’t have to pay as much attention to lobbying influence), who sounds bold enough to make decisions that could cause some serious good change! A person who is a bit eccentric in his own ways, but that is not a bad thing. A person who gained the love of many Americans by showing them love and value. I felt that maybe his rhetoric was more on the side of … wrong, but that he actually will make things right, or improve upon what President Obama’s administration built.
However, with changes on the government’s take on climate change, health, internet privacy , immigration, travel from certain countries; but really the reasons behind the Travel Ban, separating the United States from Mexico, despite environmental issues that will arise (not discussing separation or blocking of people from entering the country), issues to do with Natives/First Nations and the bit of land over which they have sovereignty, I am no longer an idealist about what is going to happen.
(One can see a list of things President Trump has worked on as of January 30, 2017, by clicking here).
I wonder about the relationship between Americans of various ethnic backgrounds now that we are under this new presidency.
I personally know two people (one a child) who was insulted based on race, the day after President Trump was named president-elect.
I wonder how much the choices, that President Trump is making will impact American soil and the planet at large.
Planet Earth will always take care of herself, but I feel in her doing so, we may not fare that well.
So now, 27 days away from President Trump’s first 100 days, all I can think to do is pray. Sincerely pray for him every single day. I admit it sounds cliche, but I think it can only be so if it is not meant. I do not intend to hold prayer meetings for him, or ardently and with much effort be in prayer for him. I just mean, that every single day, I want to suggest to this amazing universe to put the thought in President Trump’s heart to make the right decision. Maybe it sounds like I care more about this president than others, but I really don’t. I do care about how they all make decisions. I just feel that as being one of the major players in how the world works, it is imperative that we all make a daily, prayerful suggestion that President Trump make the right decisions.
Have you faced similar feelings about the new president in your country?
Do you have any fears or concerns with regards to President Trump’s actions thus far?
Do you feel he can do a great job in leading this country and as a global team player?
Photo Credit: Flickr
I am a mom amongst some other titles life has fortunately given me. I love photography & the reward of someone being really happy about a photo I took of her/him. I work, I study, I try to pay attention to life. I like writing. I don't understand many things...especially why humans treat each other & other living & inanimate things so vilely sometimes. I like to be an idealist, but when most fails, I do my best to not be a pessimist: Life itself is entirely too beautiful, amazing & inspiring to forget that it is!
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by Meredith (USA) | Apr 3, 2017 | 2017
Living in The Netherlands has been an eye opening experience for me. Not only does our family get to enjoy the beautiful flowers, rich history, and charming small towns throughout this small country, but we are getting to experience the Dutch lifestyle first-hand.
There are so many great things to mention about the Dutch way of life, but one has especially stood out to me in particular as a mother to two young children. Most of the Dutch mothers I have met are just not as stressed out as so many of my friends feel in the United Sates.
The children here in The Netherlands still have school, sports, after school activities just like the children do in the US, but the mothers of these children don’t seem to have a permanent tension line in between their eyebrows like I often felt like I had in the US.
I have thought about why this is the case here and not with so many stressed out mothers in the US. I am not an expert, but I have observed a few things here, which seem to be key in creating a less stressed out mother. One aspect of life here that I have noticed is the way that being outside and getting exercise is a way of life here. Not only do the Dutch people ride bikes most places, but also the children here are encouraged to go outside and play…without constant supervision of parents. I feel less stressed about wondering if I am exercising enough because I am biking most days, and I am embracing the Dutch philosophy of not helicopter parenting my children all the time. I let my 11-year son walk to the toy store near my friend’s house with his two other friends (about a mile walk there), which I would never have done in the US. I would have been worried that something would happen and he would be unsafe. But here, I know there is a risk of something happening if I let him go with his friends without an adult, but somehow, I find myself relaxing and trusting my son just a bit more that he has listened to things I have taught him about staying safe with his friends. At school, the children here have an outdoor classroom where they are learning to garden and plant seeds to harvest in the fall from their school garden. They literally have time to stop and smell the roses! They also only go to school for half a day on Wednesdays in the elementary school which builds in more time for unstructured playtime (outside) with friends. This in turn leads to my children being happy that they have this time for themselves. Being outdoors more and not always hovering over my children, and more free time for my children has also let me shed a few more layers of stress I had felt before we moved here.
One of the things I noticed immediately here is that school is important, but it is not such a pressure cooker of tests and performance grades. I wrote a post a few months ago talking about the difference in testing between The Netherlands and the US. It is a huge difference in the stress level not only of the children, but also in their parents. If one of my Dutch friends’ children comes home and says he or she didn’t do so well on an assignment at school, my friends don’t immediately rush to check their email to see what grade their child got and then look at their average for the class to make sure they are not falling behind depending on if it is a major or a daily grade. As a matter of fact, the parents here can’t do that at all because there aren’t any grades given at the children’s school here until the equivalent of sixth grade. If there is something a child doesn’t do so well on, the parents talk to their child about it to see what they could do to do better the next time. And, the teachers will go over the material again to make sure the students really understand it. The teachers teach in a way that seems tailored to each child’s needs and there doesn’t seem to be so much comparison between the students about who did better on an assignment. There is not stress about moving on and losing a day of instruction because another topic has to be covered so quickly. The kids really understand what is being taught. And, the teachers here have an open door policy with the parents. We can go in in the morning and see what the children are up to in the classroom and then if we have a question, we can stop by and actually talk to the teacher in the afternoon. That never happened at the school in the US. Once my children are in the school, I could only enter through the main office once I have picked up a badge. And, if I wanted to ask the teacher a question I would only be able to communicate through email.
As a former teacher, those safeguards need to be in place to protect the teachers and the students in the wake of the terrible things we all heard that have happened in US schools. No one here is worried about someone coming into a school to harm children here because it just doesn’t usually happen. As an American entering the school for the first time with my kids, I was immediately alarmed about the doors being open and welcoming all the parents into the building. However, after just a few days, I felt the sense of community and the sense that we truly are welcome in our children’s education. That in itself was when I felt a weight lift away.
Please don’t mistake my praise of the Dutch lifestyle for thinking the US lifestyle is in some way bad. I just know that moms don’t have to be stressed out all the time, and moving here has proven that fact to me. As much as I really do love the US, there are a few things we could learn from The Netherlands. I feel as if I can just breathe here…and if I am lucky enough when I take that deep breath, I may even get to actually look around and smell the beautiful flowers here.
This is an original post for World Moms Network written by Meredith. You can read more about her life as an expat in Nigeria and transition back to the US on her blog We Found Happiness and her current life as an expat living in the Netherlands on her blog Getting On The bicycle .
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
Meredith finds it difficult to tell anyone where she is from exactly! She grew up in several states, but mainly Illinois. She has a Bachelor of Science degree in Elementary Education from the University of Illinois at Champaign/Urbana which is also where she met her husband. She taught kindergarten for seven years before she adopted her son from Guatemala and then gave birth to her daughter two years leter. She moved to Lagos, Nigeria with her husband and two children in July 2009 for her husband's work. She and her family moved back to the U.S.this summer(August 2012) and are adjusting to life back in the U.S. You can read more about her life in Lagos and her adjustment to being back on her blog: We Found Happiness.
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by Ibtisam Alwardi | Mar 31, 2017 | 2017, Africa and Middle East, Awareness, Ibtisam Alwardi, Middle East, Motherhood, Oman, Parenting, World Motherhood
As I find my way between my career and parenting, I try to make the fewest mistakes possible. It’s not that mistakes aren’t good sometimes – I just try not to go beyond the useful ones.
Fortunately, I am good at observing, analyzing and indulging myself in learning. The moment I became a mother, I realized that motherhood is not something you take for granted. Indeed, parenting is hard work. I am not even talking about the early hardships: the feeding, cleaning, and staying awake at nights. As tough these aspects of parenting can be, what comes later is much more challenging, and requires a great deal of awareness.
It is more important – and so much more difficult – to work on values, principles, education and maintaining a good connection with your children. It also requires more work to prepare your kids for the outside world. Sometimes it seems that we as parents will be working on that forever.
The hands-on experience I had gained as a parent, along with reading continuously helped me all the time. Having empathy for other parents who might eventually go through the same parenting struggles I had experienced, I decided to dive into the world of raising awareness. Here’s why:
- Like all parents, I experienced various difficulties and challenges at each stage of my children’s development. Thus, as part of my social responsibility, I decided I should share what I am learning to raise the collective awareness of parents around me. My goal is to help other parents out there, and also to help each child I can to live his childhood in a better way whenever possible. As Robert Ingersoll once said, “We rise by lifting others.”
- I love sharing knowledge and raising awareness. Giving lectures and running courses has always been my thing, so why not? I could still remember the fun I had reading a novel, and going to work the next day to narrate it to my colleagues in my own style. They looked forward to hearing it and I enjoyed sharing it.
- We became parents between two different generations. Before us came a generation that mostly believed in a strict, authoritarian parenting style. After us came a generation that is overwhelmed by the modern, hectic life, and trying to find a balance. I have been there, and if I can help one parent increase their awareness and manage that period with less stress then I had, I would willingly do it.
- I love children and I want to give them better life opportunities. This has always been a reason that does not need any justification.
Specializing on issues related to parenting and childhood are not enough to make you go further into the awareness spectrum. You need the passion in order to take this road.
What do you think?
Ibtisam (at Ibtisam's musings) is an Omani Mom of three, living in the capital city of Oman ,Muscat.
After working for ten years as a speech and language therapist in a public hospital, she finally had the courage to resign and start her own business. She had a dream of owning a place where she can integrate fun, play and 'books', thus the iPlay Smart centre (@iplaysmart) was born.
Currently she is focusing on raising awareness through social media about parenting, childhood, language acquisition. She started raising awareness on (the importance of reading) and (sexual harassment) targeting school-aged children.
Ibtisam enjoys writing, both in Arabic and English, reading and working closely with children.
She plans to write children books (in Arabic) one day.
Contact Ibtisam at ibtisamblogging(at)gmail.com.
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by World Moms Network | Mar 29, 2017 | 2017, Heartfulness, Social Good, World Voice
World Moms Network and the Heartfulness Institute have partnered to bring forth a series of online monthly webinar workshops for women called GLOW which stands for ‘Genuine Loving Outstanding Women’. This helps women everywhere to learn and practice Heartfulness meditation from the comfort of their homes or workplace. The aim is to help women integrate meditation into their daily lives to achieve a more peaceful and balanced life, and a better environment. Each webinar will also feature an expert speaker, chosen from women who are outstanding in their fields, and are influencers and change makers.
https://goo.gl/QhTYWs
Topic of discussion – Nourishment for the Autism Family
Speaker Bio
#WorldMoms Kirsten Doyle
Kirsten Doyle one of the top “Ten Inspiring Canadian Women” (2012) and Toronto’s top thirty parenting bloggers, is a writer and editor, who is actively involved in raising awareness in the Autism community. She and her blog, “RunningForAutism.com” are resources for parents of children diagnosed with Autism. It is her belief that with the right environment and support, all children with autism are capable of shining in their own special way.
Before moving to Canada, Kirsten Doyle got a degree in psychology from the University of Cape Town, South Africa. Her elder son, now thirteen years old was diagnosed with autism when he was four. As she navigated the autism journey, she has understood how families can be impacted by the presence of a developmental disability. She is an outspoken advocate for mental health awareness. Each year, she participates in the Bell Let’s Talk campaign, a major Canadian initiative in support of mental health. As a regular half-marathoner, she is a firm believer in the link between mental health and physical activity.
Kirsten attended her first Heartfulness Meditation session a year ago. She hopes to explore possibilities of Relaxation Techniques offered by Heartfulness Institute to help children with Autism.
Overview:
What is autism and how is it diagnosed?
What causes and what does not cause autism.
Blessings that come with autism.
Care for families, siblings, with the condition of autism.
Takeaways:
An excellent support system is available with the Heartfulness Institute for people and families having Autism.
An experiential session of Heartfulness Relaxation and Meditation.
Who should attend?
Everyone interested to learn more about the condition of Autism.
People and families with the presence of Autism amidst their loved ones.
Anyone who would love to hang around with the amazing women and men who join GLOW webinars every month.
Date & Time: April 20th, 2017, 7:00 PM IST, 9:30 AM EST
https://goo.gl/QhTYWs
For further information write to GLOW@heartfulness.org
World Moms Network is an award winning website whose mission statement is "Connecting mothers; empowering women around the globe." With over 70 contributors who write from over 30 countries, the site covered the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good.
Most recently, our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan was awarded "Best Reporting on the UN" form the UNCA. The site has also been named a "Top Website for Women" by FORBES Woman and recommended by the NY Times Motherlode and the Times of India. Follow our hashtags: #worldmom and #worldmoms
Formerly, our site was known as World Moms Blog.
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by Piya Mukherjee | Mar 27, 2017 | 2017, Asia, Being Thankful, Domesticity, India, Motherhood, Parenting, Piya Mukherjee
A few weeks ago, I found myself rubbing a strained back, while contemplating a few dozen cardboard boxes, spilling with myriad possessions. My family and I had just shifted residence and while the bigger home was welcome, the sense of being uprooted, was downright disturbing. Over the days and weeks, while I got back to arranging cupboards, emptying out the boxes, and deciding what went where, there was an almost palpable sense of shaping and creating a living space imbued with warmth. A feeling that this apartment was slowly but surely turning into “home”.
That got me thinking. What is it that binds the woman so closely to the sense of “being home”? Why are bachelor pads the butt of jokes, almost as if they can’t be anything more than functional places of stay? And what is it with mothers, that transforms a space with walls and ceiling, from house to home?
Keepers of memories:
“You can’t possibly throw my old soft toys” was the plaintive wail over the phone, from my now grown-up teenager, studying engineering, hundreds of miles away. The tall, bearded young man can dismiss tech troubles and maths equations with ease, but will turn into a 7-year old when confronted with the threat of parting with his precious old buddies of childhood. While I laughed and assured him his dear Spiderman figurine and other assorted ‘friends’ would continue to live with us, part of my mind wondered about how easily mothers slip into the role of “memory-keepers”. In my family, I get to be the person who decides about the keeping of old birthday cards, letters (yes, we still have those!), hand-written notes and little reminders of days gone by. And so there are three burgeoning bags labeled “Sentimental keepsakes”, holding varied treasures such as a favorite insect-print shirt of the sonny-boy when he was a toddler, a teddy-bear with a missing eye, painstakingly created art projects and more. I guess being the protector of the little tangible reminders of precious reminders comes with the territory of being a mom.
Strands of love:
Bidding goodbye to the previous apartment was very difficult due to the myriad of experiences and special moments that had enriched our lives for 16 long years. Would this new home hold a special place in our hearts too? I sighed and realized that when a family lives in various places in succession, no two homes can ever hold the same position in the heart. Each place is linked to a distinct palette of memories. Children are born and they grow up, moving through the years with frightening speed. Our parents leave us, moving from the earthly plane to a higher and better place. We shed our hair and gain some pounds and our faces reflect the battles lost and won in the arena of the world. And our children leave their homes, to find their own wings. Amidst these milestones, big and little, the home remains our sanctuary, the shelter where we return to find ourselves. And so, woven in our homes are strands of love and laughter. Of care and sacrifice. Of sleepless nights and faith-filled days. And again, mothers seem to gravitate towards this process of “weaving love” almost effortlessly.
And so…
Mothers are often, thus, the binding factor, transforming houses into homes. It does not matter whether the mother is the caretaker of a child with special health-needs or the mother of a potential Olympian athlete, or the mother of a daughter in a country where females are routinely treated as second-class citizens, or the mother of a little child, living in a refugee camp, trying valiantly to use lullabies and a rag doll to create the illusion of a home for her little one. Home isn’t a space alone – it is a physical space that is imbued with the most sublime of human feelings and emotions. It is the sparkling magical reaction between a safe dwelling place and a mother’s love.
