INDONESIA: Travels and Trade-offs

INDONESIA: Travels and Trade-offs

smallFrom the window, I can hear high-pitched giggles and the sound of wellington boots on garden path gravel.

My daughter is next door with her new neighbor friend, pretending that the garden shed is an animal rescue center and the backyard chickens are actually wild monkeys. My son is bouncing on a trampoline with the friend’s big sister and I can see their carefree bodies flying above the wheat fields, in the shadow of the village church.

It’s past their usual school-night bedtime, but the sun is still high and we’ve stopped keeping track of these things anyway. Evidence of the day’s activities is scattered on the grass: badminton birdies, a rainbow of half-finished loom band bracelets, a decorated cardboard lean-to and sticky signs of an earlier snail race.

Both kids return with dirty feet and ice cream on their faces and I’m pretty sure they forgot to wash their hands after petting the donkey across the road. But it’s okay. It’s the summer holidays in rural England and it feels like the stuff childhood is made of. The only catch is that it’s not where we live…

Life is a series of trade-offs.

Back in Jakarta, we’re on our way to school and my children want to know why we don’t live in England. “Well…because we live here”, I respond simply, feeling a sharp pang of guilt.  I go on to explain that day-to-day life in England would probably be different than the idyllic summer version. For example, instead of playing all day, they would have to go to school and soon the long sunny days would turn cold and wet.  “That’s okay!” they chirp, happily unconvinced.

Luckily the conversation shifts and together we watch the city float past our car window. The daily mosaic of life here is colorful, chaotic and always fascinating. We read shop signs, point out our favorite kaki lima food carts and compete to find the most interesting motorcycle cargo…from pallets of baby chicks to enormous balloon bundles.

We talk about their new school classes and where all the children are from, realizing that there are nearly as many nationalities as students. We think about where we might like to travel for their half-term break and marvel at how lucky we are to be so close to so many amazing destinations.

Life is a series of trade-offs.

Sometimes, I feel sad about the fact that our children are growing up so far away from their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. But then I am also reminded that since our family is both British and American, we will always be far from someone we love regardless of where we live. We do the best we can to stay connected and are grateful for the precious time we get to spend together.

Occasionally, I see photos of my friends’ frolicking children and feel a twinge of regret that my own kids are missing out on  the places and experiences I enjoyed as a child growing up in the US.

But then I examine my own assumptions…does their childhood need to resemble my own for it to be good? Of course not. My children may not learn to ski anytime soon, but they are seeing and doing so much more than I ever dreamed of at their age.

Life is a series of trade-offs.

I tell myself that we are lucky to enjoy the best of both worlds. But in reality, we can’t have it both ways.

This is the path we’ve chosen and there are limitations as well as benefits. Accepting these trade-offs brings a certain kind of relief and shifts the focus — emphasizing what we have instead of what we’re missing.

It’s a process, but I’m getting there.

How do you and your family balance life’s trade-offs? 

This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Shaula Bellour.

Photo Credit: ClairOverThereThis image holds a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.

 

 

Shaula Bellour (Indonesia)

Shaula Bellour grew up in Redmond, Washington. She now lives in Jakarta, Indonesia with her British husband and 9-year old boy/girl twins. She has degrees in International Relations and Gender and Development and works as a consultant for the UN and non-governmental organizations. Shaula has lived and worked in the US, France, England, Kenya, Eritrea, Kosovo, Lebanon and Timor-Leste. She began writing for World Moms Network in 2010. She plans to eventually find her way back to the Pacific Northwest one day, but until then she’s enjoying living in the big wide world with her family.

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BELGIUM:  Mother’s Day? Not in Antwerp…Yet.

BELGIUM: Mother’s Day? Not in Antwerp…Yet.

flowersThese days, the internet is humming with all things Mother’s Day related: special brunches, crafts, gift ideas. All for that special person you get to call ‘Mom’.

Mother’s Day earned its place on the calendar thanks to the efforts of American Anna Marie Jarvis. She organized the first Mother’s Day to commemorate her own mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, who had helped organise the ‘Mother’s Day Help Clubs’ during the American Civil War. In 1914, Woodrow Wilson decided that Mommy Dearest would get her special day each second-Sunday of May.

Not here. In the rest of Belgium, yes. But not in the province of Antwerp. Here we wait until the 15th of August.

Not because we disdain the second Sunday of May, nor have a problem with holidays coming from across the Atlantic. No, as a matter of fact both the American and Antwerp traditions originated at much the same time.

For Antwerp and its surroundings it all began in 1913 when Antwerp born artist Frans Pieter Lodewijk van Kuyck started the tradition as a way of getting people to pay more attention to family values and social order. Modernisation and the industrial revolution, Mr. van Kuyck felt, had screwed society up a wee bit too much and it was time to take a stand, to defend traditional ways.

And since Mother is at the core of the family, when better to highlight her importance than on the 15th of August, the feast of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary. A Catholic feast already celebrated in Antwerp with a huge procession honouring the Virgin as protector of the city. There already was a party going on anyway, so why not add a little extra?

Mr. van Kuyck was not only an artist, he was also alderman for Culture and Fine Arts of the city of Antwerp. So in this official capacity he set up a propaganda committee, mobilised schools, companies and media into promoting the celebration of Mother. Children were to make a special gift and fathers were expected to buy flowers or jewellery. Brunch had not yet come into fashion then, otherwise I’m sure he would have made it mandatory too.

The rest of Belgium did not follow, but instead adapted the new ‘American’ version. Thus, during May when every other mother in the country smiles her lovely so-happy-with-the-macaroni-necklace smile and updates her Facebook status with pictures of her breakfast in bed/fresh flowers/chocolates/whatever…we trudge on and wait our turn until August.

Have no fear, thanks to the school’s Craft Hour, I too receive a pretty handmade gift from my daughters in May. But my husband still has to buy my flowers in August. Nah.

Does your country have a special Mother’s Day tradition? Or do you celebrate differently?

This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our writer in Belgium, Tinne, of Tantrums and Tomatoes.

The image used in this post is credited to the author.

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes

Born in Belgium on the fourth of July in a time before the invention of the smart phone Tinne is a working mother of two adorably mischievous little girls, the wife of her high school sweetheart and the owner of a black cat called Atilla. Since she likes to cook her blog is mainly devoted to food and because she is Belgian she has an absurd sense of humour and is frequently snarky. When she is not devoting all her attention to the internet, she likes to read, write and eat chocolate. Her greatest nemesis is laundry.

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MASSACHUSETTS, USA: The Mouse Trap

MASSACHUSETTS, USA: The Mouse Trap

mickeyAs parents determined to raise global citizens, my husband and I were reticent to channel financial resources toward a Disney-vacation rather than taking our children abroad for enrichment. But, there is something that stirs inside both of us when it comes to celebrating the ephemeral days of childhood that made us reconsider.

Here in the US, a visit to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida or Disneyland in Anaheim, California is a childhood hallmark. In fact, I have met parents, who began planning their Disney vacation the moment they found out they were pregnant with their first child.

And even though a Disney family-vacation can cost upwards of several thousand dollars (with hotels, park tickets and flights), it doesn’t necessarily mean that parents will wait until their children are old enough to fully enjoy the experience nor, in some cases, are even old enough to remember it; tots, barely able to toddle, are a common site at Disney theme parks. (more…)

Kyla P'an (Portugal)

Kyla was born in suburban Philadelphia but spent most of her time growing up in New England. She took her first big, solo-trip at age 14, when she traveled to visit a friend on a small Greek island. Since then, travels have included: three months on the European rails, three years studying and working in Japan, and nine months taking the slow route back from Japan to the US when she was done. In addition to her work as Managing Editor of World Moms Network, Kyla is a freelance writer, copy editor, recovering triathlete and occasional blogger. Until recently, she and her husband resided outside of Boston, Massachusetts, where they were raising two spunky kids, two frisky cats, a snail, a fish and a snake. They now live outside of Lisbon, Portugal with two spunky teens and three frisky cats. You can read more about Kyla’s outlook on the world and parenting on her personal blogs, Growing Muses And Muses Where We Go

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CALIFORNIA, USA: Homemade Gift Idea – Coconut Oil Body Butter

CALIFORNIA, USA: Homemade Gift Idea – Coconut Oil Body Butter

Christmas is around the corner and some of us are panicking about last minute gifts. Sometimes we don’t have the time to get gifts. Sometimes we don’t want to go shopping because we don’t like the crowds elbowing around the mall, all looking for a good deal. Sometimes we simply don’t have a clue what to get!

I’ll tell what is a good deal and a great idea for a wonderful homemade gift…and I can assure you, the person who gets it will love it!  HOMEMADE BODY BUTTER. All natural and personalized the way you want it.

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Ewa Samples

Ewa was born, and raised in Poland. She graduated University with a master's degree in Mass-Media Education. This daring mom hitchhiked from Berlin, Germany through Switzerland and France to Barcelona, Spain and back again! She left Poland to become an Au Pair in California and looked after twins of gay parents for almost 2 years. There, she met her future husband through Couch Surfing, an international non-profit network that connects travelers with locals. Today she enjoys her life one picture at a time. She runs a photography business in sunny California and document her daughters life one picture at a time. You can find this artistic mom on her blog, Ewa Samples Photography, on Twitter @EwaSamples or on Facebook!

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SINGAPORE: Less Stuff, More Life

SINGAPORE: Less Stuff, More Life

Mother Theresa quoteEver felt like you have way too much stuff in your life? I do and it’s causing me unnecessary stress.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit, but I’m a hoarder. I keep cereal boxes and even toilet rolls thinking that I’ll use them for craft work with my daughter, someday, someday…

Plus I’m a huge sucker for pretty home decoration and knick knacks. I also believe that a girl can never has too many pairs of shoes and a wardrobe should be well equipped for just about any occasion. And it doesn’t help that I have itchy fingers that like to dabble in new craft projects every now and then (my latest pet project is December Daily and I’m embarking on Project Life). And as a result, my house is threatening to burst at the sides…

And so for my 2014 New Year resolution, my new mantra is “Less Stuff, More Life“.

My husband was more than happy when I shared this with him. I thought I even saw his thought bubble with a huge, “It’s about time!” complete with a huge exclamation mark.

While it may be too early for New Year resolutions, it’s a good idea to think about what you want for yourself in the brand new year. I’m resolving to be intentional and purposeful with my life, time and energy. That would also means that

I will have to say no to some things in my life so that I can make space for things that truly matter.

I’m making a choice to do things that will add joy and contentment to eliminate stress and tiredness so that I can enjoy more life and go the distance.

Gifting the gift of an experience

And on that note, I’m doing something different for this Christmas. Instead of giving presents all wrapped up in a box and fancy paper, I’m choosing to give friends and family the gift of an experience. In our society, most people around me don’t need anything (though they may have plenty of wants). And I think what will make it meaningful is to gift them an experience be it a cooking class, a play or maybe even a meal lovingly prepared for them.

Here are some ideas I came up for my own gift giving:

  • For a child, a membership to the zoo, or field trip. Even a membership at an indoor playground will be received.
  • For a spouse, love coupons for monthly, or up it to weekly, dates. Or how about a spa package that you both can enjoy? 🙂 And if they like the arts, then a play, musical, concert or even movie treat will be much appreciated.
  • For a friend who’s also a parent, a night of babysitting will be so so appreciated.
  • For a coffee fan, a list of new cafes that have popped up so that they can go cafe hopping.

And since my hubby’s birthday is before Christmas, he’s the first recipient of my experience gift! I can’t wait to surprise him with what’s in store.

Have you finished all your Christmas shopping? If not, perhaps you’ll like to rethink your gifts and challenge yourself to think out of the box and give someone an experience rather than a wrapped up gift. Let me know how it works out, if you do!

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by World Moms Blog contributor, Susan Koh, of Singapore. 

Photo credit to World Moms Blog. 

Susan Koh

Susan is from Singapore. As a full-time working mom, she's still learning to perfect the art of juggling between career and family while leading a happy and fulfilled life. She can't get by a day without coffee and swears she's no bimbo even though she likes pink and Hello Kitty. She's loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at A Juggling Mom.

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UNITED ARAB EMIRATES: Merry National Happy Day Christmas: Holidays In a Flat World

UNITED ARAB EMIRATES: Merry National Happy Day Christmas: Holidays In a Flat World

Christmas in Dubai

Starting midway through November, the green and red and white streamers appear; houses are bedecked with sparkling lights and buildings attempt to out-bling each other in outrageous green, red and white displays.  Festive lights and decorations sprout along streetlights and across shop windows and children get restless in school waiting for the holiday.

Except the red-white-and-green don’t signify Christmas but the UAE National Day, which is celebrated on December 2nd and commemorates the day forty-two years ago when the rulers of seven different fiefdoms signed a constitution and became the United Arab Emirates.  Sheikh Zayed, the leader of Abu Dhabi and the first President of the UAE, died in 2004 and his likeness is everywhere on National Day. For those of you in the United States, imagine if George Washington or Thomas Jefferson had died only ten years ago and you’ll have some sense of Zayed’s very long shadow.

For three years now, I’ve experienced a kind of cultural dissonance around National Day, as its colors and lights intersect in my mind with images of New York gussying itself up for the winter holidays. True, the UAE flag has a black stripe in it too, but when the buildings are lit up, they’re mostly lit up in what I think of as “Christmas colors.”  In my Facebook stream (which as an expat sometimes almost seems like a real space rather than a virtual one), pictures of people celebrating Thanksgiving or decorating their tree bump up against pictures of cars wrapped in UAE flags and buildings displaying Zayed’s face in lights.

Abu Dhabi prides itself on being a relatively open culture; there are expats living here from almost every country in the world. The international population means that that the city is a smorgasbord of holiday traditions, from Ramadan to Diwali to Christmas; I have friends here who (quietly) celebrate the Jewish High Holy Days, as well.

The malls and shops reflect this cosmopolitan community but in sometimes disconcerting ways: holiday Christmas displays feature Santa on a camel, or Christmas trees draped with UAE flags.  It does seem, as Thomas Friedman wrote several years ago, as if the world really is flat. Friedman is talking about economics rather than cultural traditions but I’m starting to think that we can’t really separate the one from the other. Eventually, it seems, we’re all going to be living in versions of the same place: a mall.

The other day, as we walked to the movie theater in the mall (in Abu Dhabi, everything is at some mall or other), past the prayer rooms and the Christmas trees and the UAE flags, my younger son said “How come people fight about religion?”  I didn’t have an answer and he’s not yet old enough to be able to appreciate the irony inherent in his question: that in the “Middle East”, a phrase (and place) that still scares many people in the West, my son seems to be learning that different cultural practices can co-exist — not always comfortably but nevertheless without violence.

So happy National Christmas day to you all: may Santa (or whomever) ride his camel to your house and leave you white, red, green, and black striped gifts, and may you all have a happy new year, no matter which calendar you’re using.

This is an original post for the World Mom’s Blog by Deborah Quinn.

Photo credit to the author.

Mannahattamamma (UAE)

After twenty-plus years in Manhattan, Deborah Quinn and her family moved to Abu Dhabi (in the United Arab Emirates), where she spends a great deal of time driving her sons back and forth to soccer practice. She writes about travel, politics, feminism, education, and the absurdities of living in a place where temperatures regularly go above 110F.
Deborah can also be found on her blog, Mannahattamamma.

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