by Michelle Pannell | Feb 11, 2015 | Family, Kids, Life Lesson, Motherhood, Parenting, World Motherhood
I have been pondering this topic a lot just recently, it’s a biggie. We have a massive responsibility as parents to raise our children to be good citizens. To help them to develop the character traits that will make for a well-rounded adult, you know the kind of things.
We feel we ought to help them to be loving, tolerant, resilient, kind, honest, courageous, patient, responsible and self-disciplined. Realistically those are just a few of the traits many of us want our child to display, some parents will be looking for a high level of competitive spirit leading to academic achievement or sporting success and others are much more interested in their child displaying empathy and nurturing others.
Whatever it is you want your child to develop or display the scary realism is that you need to be demonstrating it to them, as children learn what they live.
We cannot just tell them how we would like them to be and hope they do not notice our actions nor replicate our imperfections, sadly that just does not work. Have you ever seen the poem by Dorothy Law Nolte? She wrote it back in 1972 but it is as relevant now as it was then. Have a read:
I try to read this poem regularly as I believe every parent should, because it reminds me that to display the positive and to affirm is so much more powerful than to criticise. Even when that criticism is done with good meaning ‘Oh Jenny, you got a B grade, that is very good but I know you can get an A if you try a little harder’.
Do you know what Jenny hears? She hears I’m not good enough. Isn’t that worrying? It is such a fine balance to parent in a way that encourages the child to stretch themselves and to achieve all they can whilst also leaving their sense of self-worth intact.
A good example of children learning what they live was demonstrated to me the other day by one of my 7-year-old girls when they were in the car with me. We were driving along and someone stopped in front of me due to a traffic jam, it was perfectly acceptable to do so, and I had no issue with it. Quick as a flash Miss E shouts ‘Oi, get a move on, we’re in a hurry you idiot’. To say I was shocked is an understatement. Firstly, we were not in a hurry, secondly, I never use the word idiot, and thirdly, this is my quieter child!
‘Where on earth did that come from Miss E?’ I ask her and she starts to look a little sheepish. ‘Well, Mummy’ pipes up her more vocal twin sister ‘when we were coming home from gymnastics last week and that man nearly made you crash, you shouted at him and told him he was stupid’. Ah yes, I remember that and start to state my case ‘but Miss M that man was driving the wrong way in a car park and came out of nowhere driving far too fast and…’ and then I tail off. It is true the situation was different (to an adults eyes), but to the child, all they had learnt was that if someone drives a car in a way you don’t like you shout abuse at them. Whoops, parenting fail!
It is a tough learning curve, this parenting lark, but if we are willing to persevere and learn from our children we will grow better at it, but boy does it take some work. I know for sure it is worth it though. Thank you for all you teach me my babies. This mummy will keep on trying her best, and I’m sure I’ll muck up again but do you know what? That is OK, as long as I acknowledge it and apologise because then I am teaching my kids one of the most important messages, that it is OK to mess up and then try again. We all make mistakes and we can all move on.
How about you, any good learning you want to share with us?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Michelle Pannell of Mummy from the Heart
Michelle’s tales of everyday life and imperfect parenting of a 13-year-old boy and 9-year-old twin girls and her positive Christian outlook on life have made her name known in the UK parenting blogosphere. Her blog, Mummy from the Heart, has struck a chord with and is read by thousands of women across the world.
Michelle loves life and enjoys keeping it simple. Time with her family, friends and God are what make her happiest, along with a spot of blogging and tweeting, too! Michelle readily left behind the corporate arena but draws on her 25 years of career experience from the fields of hotel, recruitment and HR management in her current voluntary roles at a school, Christian conference centre, night shelter and food bank.
As a ONE ambassador, in 2012 Michelle was selected to travel on a delegation to Ethiopia with the organisation to report on global poverty and health. Then in 2014 she was invited to Washington, DC, where she attended the AYA Summit for girls and women worldwide. When asked about her ambassadorship with the ONE Campaign, she stated, "I feel humbled to be able to act as an advocate and campaigner for those living in poverty."
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by Meredith (USA) | Feb 6, 2015 | 2015, Adolescence, Boys, Childhood, Communication, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Parenting, Time, USA, World Motherhood, Younger Children
I remember when we brought my son home, he had the squishiest face, the most delicious chin, the chubbiest thighs and the most beautiful brown eyes that had every looked at me. He was the most precious thing I had ever held, touched or seen.
I remember his “clingy” phase of not wanting anyone else but me. I was so exhausted, but he was so happy to just have me with him. I remember his first days of preschool and the crying fits he had when I left and repeated to him over and over, “Mommy always comes back.” It broke my heart to leave him, but I also knew that it was part of him growing up and that it was time.
It’s funny when you hear that phrase…It’s time. It always means that change is coming… (more…)
Meredith finds it difficult to tell anyone where she is from exactly! She grew up in several states, but mainly Illinois. She has a Bachelor of Science degree in Elementary Education from the University of Illinois at Champaign/Urbana which is also where she met her husband. She taught kindergarten for seven years before she adopted her son from Guatemala and then gave birth to her daughter two years leter. She moved to Lagos, Nigeria with her husband and two children in July 2009 for her husband's work. She and her family moved back to the U.S.this summer(August 2012) and are adjusting to life back in the U.S. You can read more about her life in Lagos and her adjustment to being back on her blog: We Found Happiness.
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by Tina Marie Ernspiker | Jan 30, 2015 | 2015, Family, Kids, Life Lesson, Mexico, World Motherhood, Younger Children
As a wife of one and a mom of four, it seems like I am always learning and discovering! I know I am not alone. Let’s just admit it: The world is a big place, life is a lesson, and children can be the best teachers. Normally my series, Life Lessons with Mexico Mom, is hosted on Los Gringos Locos, but today I am posting here on World Moms Blog.
Here are my insights and experiences as a Mexico Mom for this week, all taken from a family trip to our local zoo, Parque Zoológico Benito Juárez in Morelia:
Life Lesson 49: Flamingos look fake from a distance. When I spotted them I thought they couldn’t possibly be real. They were still as statues and their color is a vibrant peach. The flamingos were elegantly and perfectly formed. What a beautiful creation for us to enjoy! It turns out these birds were the real thing. Mommy was in awe over their beauty and I still am.
Life Lesson 50: I have no idea how to row a boat. I was the star of a real life comedy show called Mommy is Goofy. Just kidding… but I know that everyone who was watching must have had at least one laugh from my performance. We were going in circles for a while and when we started to move I hit at least three or four boats. I think we might have made it 50 feet before we had to turn around and come back to shore. All persons aboard survived.
Life Lesson 51: Petting a six month old tiger is amazing. We were able to do this along with our four kids. I think we were all in animal paradise. Her name is Esperanza which mean ‘hope’ in English. She was gorgeous and soft. Who would have known a tiger is soft! Esperanza is only six months old and her paws are the size of my hands. She was born in captivity and is well-cared for. She also has a hyena cub as a friend. They play tug of war and are quite a match for each other. Unforgettable!
BONUS – Life Lesson 52: Three grizzly bears standing eight feet tall is a sight to see. Their trainer was feeding them bread which apparently they love. But he would only throw a loaf when they stood tall. One of the loaves went into the water and the biggest bear went right in after it. What a cool ending to a wonderful family day at the Morelia Zoo in Michoacan, Mexico 🙂
What life lesson did you learn this past week? Please share it with us below. We want to hear your thoughts from around the world!
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Tina Marie Ernspiker. Tina can be found blogging over at Los Gringos Locos. She is also on Facebook and Twitter.
Photo credit to the author.
by Tara Bergman (USA) | Jan 23, 2015 | 2015, Boys, Family, Humor, Husband, Kids, Life Balance, Motherhood, Parenting, Tara B., USA, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Since having children, my husband and I have developed our own household lingo. Maybe we just got punchy after too many sleepless nights, but we started using code words. Also, as can happen from time spent living intimately with a group, our family has developed a repertoire of inside jokes that we reference often but would mean nothing to outsiders.
Today I share with you a few of my favorites from the past 10 years. (more…)
Tara is a native Pennsylvanian who moved to the Seattle area in 1998 (sight unseen) with her husband to start their grand life adventure together. Despite the difficult fact that their family is a plane ride away, the couple fell in love with the Pacific Northwest and have put down roots. They have 2 super charged little boys and recently moved out of the Seattle suburbs further east into the country, trading in a Starbucks on every corner for coyotes in the backyard. Tara loves the outdoors (hiking, biking, camping). And, when her family isn't out in nature, they are hunkered down at home with friends, sharing a meal, playing games, and generally having fun. She loves being a stay-at-home mom and sharing her experiences on World Moms Network!
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by Mirjam | Jan 12, 2015 | Childhood, Kids, Life Lesson, Motherhood, Netherlands, Uncategorized
I had a little ritual with my son when he used to be little.
Sometimes when snuggling I would sit him down and tell him a little story.
I would tell him about the biggest most precious gift I ever received.
It has been ages since I told him that little story, but I still remember my son’s eyes turning big in anticipation as I got to the end of the story, revealing what the gift was.
“The gift was you,” I said.
And I proceeded to tell him how happy the gift made me and how loved he was.
No matter how many times I told him the same story, he never got tired of hearing it.
And I never got tired of telling him the same story.
I had promised myself very early on in life that if I ever had children, I would make sure they knew they were loved. As far as I was concerned, they would never have to deal with low self esteem or feel unwanted.
For most of my childhood, I spent time excusing myself for being me.
I tried to change myself, copy others, or suppress things that were typically me.
I apologized a lot. When you spend that much time being aware of what you are not supposed to be, you’re under a lot of pressure.
I used to bite my nails almost to the point of bleeding and I was shy and clumsy.
I broke things, I fell a lot, I bumped into things. It was a hard task, trying not to be me.
Today when I look at my middle child, who is almost like a copy-print of me, I laugh at my attempts.
That kid is so present, so alive, so wild, so loud, so emotional, so outspoken, so amazing.
There is no way to tone that down. And what a waste would it be to do so.
My kids have taught me that it is okay to be exactly who you are and that the flaws and the twitches are what makes a person unique.
My kids have helped me accept myself. I see myself when my daughter is persistent. I see myself when my oldest child gets emotional, I see myself when my kids do silly dances and I see myself when one of them nestles on the couch and disappears in a book.
It doesn’t bother me that my daughter feels too shy to speak around strangers, or that my son is difficult when he feels overwhelmed. Nor does it bother me that my daughter is chaotic and would forget to bring her own head to school, if it wasn’t attached to her body.
I see me.
Whenever I look at my kids, really look at them, my heart bursts with love.
I have always promised myself that whenever I had kids, I would give them the space to be themselves.
What I never expected was that through my love for them, I would learn to love and accept myself more.
And that is truly a gift.
What gift have your kids added to your life?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Mirjam of The Netherlands. Photo credit to the author.
Mirjam was born in warm, sunny Surinam, but raised in the cold, rainy Netherlands.
She´s the mom of three rambunctious beauties and has been married for over two decades to the love of her life.
Every day she´s challenged by combining the best and worst of two cultures at home.
She used to be an elementary school teacher but is now a stay at home Mom. In her free time she loves to pick up her photo camera.
Mirjam has had a life long battle with depression and is not afraid to talk about it.
She enjoys being a blogger, an amateur photographer, and loves being creative in many ways.
But most of all she loves live and laughter, even though sometimes she is the joke herself.
You can find Mirjam (sporadically) at her blog Apples and Roses where she blogs about her battle with depression and finding beauty in the simplest of things. You can also find Mirjam on Twitter and Instagram.
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by Tina Marie Ernspiker | Jan 9, 2015 | 2015, Family, Health, Husband, International, Kids, Life Lesson, Living Abroad, Mexico, Motherhood, Parenting, World Motherhood
As a wife of one and a mom of four, it seems like I am always learning and discovering! I know I am not alone. Let’s just admit it: The world is a big place, life is a lesson, and children can be the best teachers. Normally my series, Life Lessons with Mexico Mom, is hosted on Los Gringos Locos, but today I am posting here on World Moms Blog.
Here are my insights and experiences as a Mexico Mom for this week:
Life Lesson 43: There is a worldwide mommy clique. Let’s be honest. You have single cliques, couple cliques, and parent cliques. So far, in Mexico, we have not found our mommy and daddy clique. We have some wonderful friends, who we love very much, but they are either single or married without kids. I truly miss our parent clique in Louisville, Kentucky. Perhaps we need to widen out. Our family loves people so that shouldn’t be hard to do, we just need to make the effort. Parents understand parents. That is the mommy and daddy clique. Welcome to World Moms Blog, where we are all moms, all around the world 🙂
Life Lesson 44: Check your feet before you leave the house. The other day I left the house with my oldest daughter to go in our ministry. We were several blocks away when I realized I was still wearing my tacky, blue, house slippers. We turned around and a minute later Alexis exchanged my slippers for my sandals. My husband and my daughter had a good laugh. If I had actually made it to our destination before realizing what I was wearing, I wouldn’t have been able to change them. I would have walked around Morelia, Michoacan, Mexico in house slippers. That is what you get for being a busy, ADHD, mom of four!
Life Lesson 45: If your kid has a cold and is coughing up a storm, beware of spontaneous vomit. Both of our boys have a cold. They are miserable, with runny noses, coughing and hacking. Yesterday I was comforting our 20 month old. Then he proceeded to vomit milk in my hair. I was grossed out despite being quite familiar with pee, poo, snot, and vomit from my last 11 years of parenting. Brad cleaned the baby while I took a hot shower. FYI: Milk isn’t the best during a cold. It tends to increase the mucus. I should have known…
What life lesson did you learn this past week? Please share it with us below. We want to hear your thoughts from around the world!
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Tina Marie Ernspiker. Tina can be found blogging over at Los Gringos Locos. She is also on Facebook and Twitter.
Photo credit to A. Hurst Photography
